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tm919

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Posts posted by tm919

  1. I think that like many economic statistics in this ginormous country of ours......"average" cost is seriously skewed but the East and West coast HCOL areas.

    Agreed, I used a quick calculator that indicated that for my cousins (Louisiana, Mississippi) the cost of the venue, catering, and rentals was less than HALF what it is on average where I am in the Northeast. Everything costs more in some areas. However, some of that is really cultural. I typically haven't had a full course meal at weddings in the South, for instance. 

  2. On her list of 15 people she wants to invite, she has included 5 girls from her troop. Her troop has a total of 15 girls.  My concern is that by excluding the rest, we are going to have hurt kids (and angry parents...) when they find out.  I won't be distributing to the troop girls in person, though, so I'm asking if I can get away with it.  I don't really want to invite an extra 10 kids (plus siblings, plus parents), but I also don't want her to commit social suicide with the troop since it is one of her main activities for getting out of the house. 

     

    I DO think she needs to invite all of the kids from TKD.  Her class has 7 other kids total, she originally wrote 5 of them on the list. I think excluding 2 out of 7 is bad form, especially since these invites will be handed out in person (I have no other contact info). 

    This sounds fine to me. I outright tell my kids, "fewer than half, or everyone." So by that arbitrary rule you are good not inviting the girl scout troop as a whole. I know it's a very made up rule, but so far it's worked for us.

     

    The bathroom is a HUGE issue... kids will ARRIVE needing to use the bathroom even if they know there's not one there. 

     

    Although honestly, a lot of kids will just go behind a bush, it doesn't seem like you should encourage it.

    • Like 3
  3. I'm about the same as my parents. But a lot of it is that I thought they were amazing parents and I have a great relationship with them. There's a little bit of a chicken and the egg scenario here... what came first, that there was a good relationship or that the other parenting aspects were good, is hard to say.

     

    My husband is way more "straight laced" in his every day life than his parents were. The example of you being able to watch every kind of movie, etc. early was true of him too. His parents said they gave him a lot of "freedom," but he saw it as neglect. Being more strict (and I don't even see it as strict, more like "don't let a 6 year old watch NC-17 rated movies") seems also to have come out of being exposed to other "stricter" people growing up.

  4. Oh, a wish list would be a great idea if they would use it.   My MIL has asked in the past what kinds of things my kids like, and when given specific ideas, does just the opposite.   Full-zip fleece, favorite color red turned into a quarter-zip in robins-egg-blue.   (Probably not everyone is picky about full vs quarter-zip, but my son and I can't stand to pull the things over our heads.)    Advice that jewel-tones are preferred elicits pastels.  "Please don't attempt to buy jeans or other trousers for the girl; she is hard to fit" ... it's like a challenge to find jeans, and they never fit.  :-)

     

    I don't believe they are being passive-aggressive.  I think they just buy what they like in their stores (which are not local to us).  They don't buy from Amazon.  

     

    Yeah, it's a losing battle.  That's why we wish they could just stop.  OTOH, the local clothes closet gets a few things from us every year.  :-)

    My MIL engages in this sort of behavior. I've come to the conclusion that they just don't know, or don't hear the whole thing. One year I said, "I don't really like scrapbooking, I could never get into it." For Christmas, I got a huge box of scrapbooking supplies. I mean, I guess it's good that they remembered there was some connection between me and scrapbooking?!

    • Like 2
  5. Belief does strike me as odd here, but I know many people who don't "believe" in many things I consider to be fact, so...

     

    I "believe" the climate is changing and human actions are part of the reason, based on reading the scientific evidence. Maybe some things are classified (I'm not a climate scientist for sure, so I don't really know about these details), but what is publicly available in respected journals is enough to convince me.

     

    I also believe -- unless we find a political or technological "miracle" that helps us out of this box --  the toll (both in terms of individual humans and in terms of entire other species) is likely to be enormous. But that some humans will profit enormously on resulting misery. I didn't need to read a scientific journal to "believe" that -- I think that's pretty much just history.

    • Like 2
  6. Interesting... many years ago I heard a job talk from a woman who did her dissertation on this topic. She identified as black because that was how the world treated her based on her appearance. But another interesting part of her talk was that some people identify themselves as "above" race, or beyond it. My kids are from such mixed ancestry that it's easier to say what they aren't ("we're definitely not Swedish")... I think they might be those who say they are above race, or don't have a race, when they are older.

    • Like 1
  7. Old lego sets. The castles I had as a kid in the 90s were so much more durable than the lego sets now. I really love Legos but get real frustrated with how much more fragile the new ones my kids have are.

    Some are still durable but you need to read a lot of reviews to know... I think the mos eisley cantina from last year stayed together pretty well.  

  8. They only ask for 1 thing from Santa and then they talk with their sibling about 1 thing more they might like. Each girl buys gifts for sibling out of their own activity/gift budget (they get a good amount but still there's a bit of a trade off).

     

    5 year old: asked for a 2ds with pokemon sun from Santa; asked sister for a zoomer kitty 

     

    7 year old: asked for a 2ds with pokemon moon from Santa, asked sister for a microscope with slides 

  9. My son started 4th grade having done VERY little writing, despite being in public school all the way through. His 3rd grade teacher really let him down in not requiring the writing. WE did some over the summer, but I trusted that the school knew what they were doing... I'm glad your daughter's teacher is focusing on writing now. In 4th grade, they are definitely expected to be able to write.

     

    For my son, it helps to write notes about what he wants to say and then write whatever it is.  He really struggles to both write and compose at the same time.

    Agree - my daughter prefers freewrite + snip & pin (or whatever it's called) but they are required to write so much (and she's in first!) that she uses keyword outlines a la IEW to produce quickly.  What she does isn't a masterpiece but she can do it quickly with notes and an outline. I feel like bravewriter just takes so long to produce something finished, even though what it produces is often way better in the end, that it can be tough to use as a quick method in school.

     

    As far as fundations, it's pretty common around here... The "trick word" focus isn't my favorite (or yours, it sounds like!), but one good thing is there are a lot of resources for it on the internet. I'm not sure I'd want to buy the worksheets off TPT, but it's possible you can combine free worksheets with whatever the teacher will provide to you.

  10. It's amazing the difference in expectations and perspectives... to me $350 seems fine for a teenager (I think someone gave that figure before?). 

     

    I think one big difference is that some families save up things to give for Christmas they wouldn't at other times, others buy year round. I tend to be in the former category so I spent "a lot" on Christmas. The big things are for Christmas and birthdays, but I know families who do otherwise... e.g., 

     

    *my daughters are getting 2ds-es + pokemon sun/moon as their "santa" gifts for Christmas ($80 each). Their friend got a 3ds and moon on release day ($250) but less on Christmas.

    *my older daughter has been asking for a microscope, instead of buying it "for school" she'll get it for Christmas. So that makes Christmas more expensive.  

    *my older daughter (again) limped through a spanish class with a spanish-english dictionary from the library she kept renewing, she is getting (for us) her own for Christmas

     

    So basically if I bought when they wanted/needed, I'd spend $0 on Christmas. :p

    • Like 1
  11. Does anyone else have an annual holiday tradition that makes you say, "ouch, why did we start this?!"  

     

    Here's mine:  candy for the stockings.  DS has multiple serious allergies, so candy is pricey.  I just hit the button on the Vermont Nut Free order.  Ouch, ouch, ouch.  2 chocolate santas and some foil wrapped candies to put in 4 stockings.  $60.  Seriously?!  

    Nooo... I'm poorer now!

    • Like 1
  12. I love IEW more all the time , mostly because even when I can't get to writing, it let's me get to writing. We afterschool so time is short and we combine with bravewriter, so time is even shorter! But what I have learned to do is if the child has an essay, they can use the IEW method (KWO, dress ups, etc.) to do the essay, and that "counts" as their writing for the week. I only do writing by itself on weeks they don't have a writing assignment in something else.

    • Like 1
  13. The only thing that I think is unavoidable, for some, is that boys can often eat a lot more than allotted by the meal plan. Basically they can go broke on food really easily, even if its not good food. My brother had that problem EVERY SEMESTER in college. He'd only have about 75% of what he needed. He says he'd look for the skinniest girl there and start dating her, and she'd buy him lunch since she was losing most of the money at the end of the semester anyway. Sometimes I try to convince myself he is joking. 

    • Like 3
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