It makes me sad to hear that you are thinking of backing down on this, as it is obviously so important to you. School won't kill your son, but will it be better for him than homeschooling? Will it make him happy? Will it make you happy? Will it give him a better education? Are you honestly sure that your dh won't make your ds stay in school if he is miserable? The thought of school is making both you and your ds miserable right now, and your dh doesn't seem to care a bit about that. I would feel awful if I thought my dh wasn't considering my feelings and those of my ds, and it's pretty clear by your dh's lack of response to your emails, his refusal to have a civilized discussion, and his refusal to read a few pages of a book, that he has very little respect for your feelings, and he doesn't really care if you are terribly upset, as long as he gets his way. I hope you stay strong, and that you don't give up and you don't give in to sending your ds to ps. A good marriage isn't achieved by always "honoring his wish" in order to help your marriage. When will it be your dh's turn to honor YOUR wishes and those of your ds? Cat

That's what usually happens in our house, too. We never really get "loud," though, which I think helps a lot. We're both calm when it comes to the important stuff, and I was raised in a "non-yelling" household, so I am not one to tolerate someone raising their voice to me. I just don't think it's necessary, and I won't try to hold a discussion with someone who can't control their emotions. Cat

LOL!!! I know that feeling, Alison! :D Cat

Wow, I'm just catching up on all of the posts, and I'm happy to see that I have even more places to add to our "list of possibilities!" This is great!!! Thank you so much for all of your replies, and I'll keep watching for more!!! :lurk5: Cat

I don't know about 6th grade, but I know we never even spent 3 hours in total on our 2nd and 3rd grade BJU DVD courses. The classes are relatively short, with the longest running 30 minutes, and there are rarely more than a few worktext pages assigned per class -- and the DVD teacher often works through the first page with the child during the class time. Addiitonally, the worktexts are bright and colorful, and the print is pretty large, so there isn't a ton of work to do on each page. The reading assignments are very reasonable, too. Have you watched the sample lessons at BJUPress.com, or visited one of their motel meetings so you could view the DVDs and see all of the books in person? My ds really enjoyed using the BJU DVDs, and although we're using Oak Meadow for some variety this year, we will probably also order the BJU DVDs for "the basics," because the teachers do a nice job. When we were choosing a program, my ds hated the Abeka samples, but loved the "individualized" instruction in the BJU classes. He also really liked all of the cute puppets and costumed characters. If you check the BJU website, they list the running times for each class. We didn't need to add much time to that for the worktext pages, so we were always finished by lunchtime. Cat

:lol::lol::lol: Nothing to add -- I'm just having fun reading this thread! :lurk5: Cat

I agree completely! Cat

Thanks for your post, Alison -- I think I got the wrong impression from your earlier post, and I apologize for being so critical! Cat

Sometimes I think I'll buy just about anything if it comes with a schedule. ;) Of course, then I see the schedule and it doesn't match up with anything else we're doing, so I end up ditching it and using the books willy-nilly. :glare: I don't know how this particular set of books is scheduled, but when we used a complete WP core, some of the books were scheduled concurrently, with each day consisting of reading a few pages of one book, followed by a few pages from another, and another.... and it drove us nuts, because we do better when we read one book at a time, and quite a bit of it each day. I'm not familiar with most of the books on the list, but usually, when I buy a "package," I end up with enough books I don't want, to make the package price a lot less of a bargain than I'd hoped it would be. I hope others post reviews of the books, though, as I'm looking for "boy books," too! Cat

I guess I'm missing something here, because if you never "shove back," how is life ever fair for you? Why should one person always win, just because he's "one of those types?" I'm sorry to say this, but if I had a dh who always insisted on his way or the highway, I'd hand him the car keys and tell him to hit the road. I'm not saying you don't compromise when you can, but when there's an important issue (like homeschooling, in Scarlett's case,) why would you back down when you know you're right? It doesn't make sense to me. Cat Edited to add: I'm not saying you don't back down and compromise when you're deciding what's for dinner or what color to paint the living room, but Scarlett's situation is entirely different, and it really looks like she is trying everything possible to listen to her dh and find out what is really going on inside his head. The problem is that he isn't open to discussion, and that's why I think she will eventually have to just make her own decision and let her dh learn to deal with it.

I'm with FiveTails on this one -- Scarlett, you have gone above and beyond anything I would have done in your situation, and excuse me for saying this, but your dh is being a big baby. I can tell you exactly why he won't bother to read 10 pages of TWTM, and I'm sure you already know, too. He knows that if he reads it, he'll have to discuss it, and he realizes he doesn't have a leg to stand on. You have reasons; he has excuses. You have information; he has emotion. You have statistics (our son's success in homeschooling;) your dh has nothing. I understand that you're worried about making this a hill to die on, but realistically, if you refuse to enroll your ds in school and tell your dh you'll talk about it again next year, he'll get over it. He'll pitch a fit and get loud and stomp around for a few days, and then he'll get over it, and he'll find a new thing to want to control. I hate to say this, but even if you give in and send your ds to public school, it's not going to solve the problem, because the problem isn't hsing; your dh wants you to do whatever he says. He wants control, and once he wins the hsing battle, he'll be raring to go with the next thing you disagree about. If he'd been reasonable about all of this, and was willing to take an objective look at both sides of the story, I'm sure that I (and a lot of others here,) may have seen things a bit differently. If your dh had calmly come to you with valid concerns and information to support his views, and you'd refused to look at them, I would have said you were wrong not to consider his point of view, but that's not the case here. Your dh has picked a battle (possibly at random) and is determined to win at any cost. That's not fair to you or your ds. Have you asked yourself at what point you will simply tell your dh that the decision is made, the ship has sailed, and your ds is going to be homeschooled again this year? -- Because your dh probably isn't going to come around on this. He wants to win, and that seems to be what this whole situation is about. If it wasn't homeschooling, it would be something else, and your dh would be determined to win that fight instead. Sorry you're dealing with an unreasonable dh. :grouphug: Cat

I suppose you're right about that, if you believe that the husband makes the decisions for the family. In our house, my dh and I make decisions jointly, and if we can't reach an agreement, we usually do things my way. I can honestly say I'd never heard of "submission" until I started visiting homeschool forums, nor had I ever known a woman who said that her dh had the final word in making decisions for the family. It's interesting how there are so many different lifestyles, and that what works beautifully for one family would be disastrous for another. My personal feeling is that, as long as people are happy, good for them! That said, I have been guilty of criticizing Scarlett's dh, but I have also been following her threads right from the beginning of this situation, and while I don't know him, I can understand why many of us have criticized him. If he would just sit down and talk with Scarlett about their ds, and explain his reasoning for why he wants their son to attend school, while also listening to her point of view, I don't think any of us would have a problem with that. We might disagree with him, but we wouldn't criticize his behavior. Ultimately, I just hope things work out well for Scarlett. She is such a dedicated homeschool mom, and her son is thriving. I hate to see her so upset over this. Cat

No words of wisdom for you, but I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You must be so upset and frustrated. :grouphug: Cat

I just think it's so sad that you're reduced to passing notes and sending emails, because your dh won't have a calm and thoughtful conversation. If you simply say you're homeschooling next year, and that's your final decision, what would happen next? Your dh can't register your ds for school without your consent (or at least he couldn't do it where we live.) At some point, the battle is going to have to end, and it's outrageous that it's dragging on and on like this. (I'm not blaming you, Scarlett -- I can see that you're doing everything possible to work this out as peacefully as possible! :grouphug:) Cat PS. Try to have fun at the party!

You've made such an excellent point, Rosie -- and I'd never even thought of it! Thanks for bringing the big picture into focus! Cat

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear that, Scarlett! I was worried that things weren't going well when you hadn't posted for a while. All I can say is that if your dh isn't willing to have a civilized conversation about this, at some point you may need to just tell him that you've made a final decision and ds will continue to be homeschooled for at least another year. And let dh deal with it. You're doing everything possible to give your dh a chance to explain and clarify his reasoning for sending your ds to school, and I honestly don't think he has a "real" reason other than that he's jealous of the closeness between you and your ds, and figures that if ps was good enough for him, it's good enough for your ds -- despite the fact that your ds is absolutely flourishing in homeschool. If you think your dh is being unreasonable now, wait until you send ds to ps and see what happens if it doesn't work out. I could be wrong about your dh, but he doesn't sound like the kind of person who likes to admit he was wrong, so even if ps doesn't work out, don't be surprised if your dh says the problems are ds's fault and he'll just have to live with being in ps. I'm so sorry this is going on like this. There's just no reason why you shouldn't be able to sit down together and have a rational discussion. Have you made a list of all the things you've told us (about ds's test scores, activities, and other homeschool-related successes? ) Maybe if your dh sees them "in black and white," it might have a small impact on him? Honestly, this sounds more like a control issue than a homeschooling issue, and that may mean that no matter what you say, your dh won't want to "lose the fight." This should be about your ds and what's best for him, and if your dh won't listen to reason because it's all about winning, you're going to have to stand up and fight for your ds. If it were something that were only between you and your dh, I might suggest a different approach, but this is a much larger issue, and you're the one your son counts on to keep him at home with you. I spoke with my dh about this, and I'd just started to tell him that your dh wanted to send your ds to school, although he was doing well at home, and my dh said, "Wait a minute. Why would he decide? Doesn't he trust his own wife?" He believes that if the mom is the one doing the hsing, she should make the final decision about the child's education. My dh has always had some reservations about hsing, but believes it's my decision as the mom and as the one who has accepted the responsibility of hsing. He knows I'll listen to his opinions, but he does not expect to make the final decision. If your dh trusts you and believes you to be a capable person and a good mom, he should trust you to make the right decision about homeschooling. Sorry to sound so militant, but this has gone on for a while now, and I feel so badly that you're so upset. Hope you get things settled soon. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Cat

Any updates, Scarlett? I hope everything is ok! :grouphug: Cat

I didn't know that! Any special brand? Cat

Yes and no. Most of the people I know have only done the computer lessons, but there is also a student study guide, a workbook, and a workbook answer key that go along with the program. We're just getting started with the program, and we haven't used the books yet, but it looks like they are basic exercises to reinforce the lessons learned on the computer -- things like matching pictures to the correct Spanish words, matching Spanish phrases to the English translations, writing the translations to Spanish phrases, and doing crossword puzzles where you get the English word and fill in the puzzle with the Spanish words. I think the workbook would be great to use on alternating days with the computer lessons. I was thinking that we might do a lesson on one day, and do the corresponding workbook page(s) on the next, to reinforce what we've already covered before moving on to the next lesson. I think it would be too long a class if we tried to do both the workbook and the computer stuff on the same day. Cat

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I have to admit that I was picturing the youth leader to be a young man in his early 20's. It sounds like there's a certain 46 year-old dad who's trying a little too hard to seem young and cool... :glare: Cat

Glad you have the rest of the day to take it easy, Colleen. I hope you feel well enough for your race tomorrow! Cat

Holly, we haven't purchased any living room furniture from Ikea, but I did look at quite a few things the last time we were there, and a lot of the sofas looked quite nice. The only thing I found uncomfortable about some of the "sleeker-looking" sofas was that the backs were too low. They looked nice, but when I sat down, I didn't feel cozy at all. Others seemed fine, but I honestly couldn't tell you which ones they were -- we were just browsing, so I wasn't paying that much attention. You really need to go there and try the furniture for yourself, as I know that when I buy things, it's almost never the stuff that looked so great in the catalog; it's almost always something I didn't even notice until I walked into the store and tried it out! I've found that the quality of Ikea merchandise can vary quite a bit, but overall, the value seems to be pretty good for the money, and the stores have a ton of stuff to choose from. Cat

I was thinking the same thing! Young and hip is nice, but I think "a good influence on the kids," should supercede the "cool" part. I think a youth leader can be all of those things -- whatever his or her age! Cat

Are you sure he received it? If he got it, read it, and ignored it, I would be really annoyed! Cat

I can't speak for other parents, but I wouldn't send my ds to the party. I also think it's unfair not to let the other invited guests know that your kids have been sick. I would be livid if I sent my son to a party and then found out that some of the family members had been so ill earlier in the week. Sorry if I sound harsh; I know you don't want your ds to be disappointed about his party, anf maybe other moms won't be as paranoid as I would be, but the flu and bronchitis are both potentially serious illnesses, and I wouldn't want my ds to be exposed to it. I hope your ds never catches either illness, and that he has a very happy birthday! (Can you postpone the party until next week?) Cat