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Catwoman

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Everything posted by Catwoman

  1. I meant to ask you this in my last post, but I'm wondering if these kids actually came right out and said that your dd had to attend their church in order to be their friend, or if it's just a feeling you're getting from them. Because if they came out and said something like that, I think your decision has already been made for you, and you'll probably end up having to tell the mom that the kids can't be friends any more. If they only want friends from their church, and you're not going to join, there's no other option. What a shame. I can't understand it when people are so narrow-minded that they won't be friends with anyone who is even slightly different from them. :confused:
  2. I agree completely. I can't imagine allowing my ds to go to someone's home, knowing that the family is going to try to undermine my authority or try to turn my son against me in any way. If you truly believe that this is the case, and that the family disapproves of the way you're raising your dd and that they have taken it upon themselves to change her, I'm glad to hear you plan to speak with the mom ASAP. I didn't realize from your original post that they were being quite so pushy about it. Is there anything specific that led you to these conclusions about the family? Has the mom actually said anything to your dd, or has everything come from the kids? If everything you have heard has come from the two girls, that may be less worrisome than if it's coming straight from the mom. Whatever the case, you'll know for sure what's going on, once you speak with the mother. She could turn out to be very nice, or she could be someone you never want to see again -- do you know her at all, or is she friendly with any of your friends? Maybe someone else from your homeschool group could give you a heads-up about her. That sounds perfectly reasonable to me! Realistically, I think you need to go with your gut feeling on this. It doesn't sound like you're the kind of person who gets paranoid over the slightest little thing, so if red flags are popping up in your mind about this family, you're probably right about them. I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, because it sounds like your dd likes their dds, but if you have any misgivings about the mom after you speak with her, it might be time to start distancing your family from hers. I hope she turns out to be OK, though, so the kids can still be friends.
  3. I was thinking that perhaps the kids did it on their own, but you're probably right. :blush: I'm just hoping that once the mom knows where the OP stands, that she will be OK with the kids remaining friends -- on the OP's terms.
  4. OK Shawna, we're still waiting to find out if there's any news... :D
  5. I absolutely understand why you would feel this way, but I also think you may be jumping to conclusions about your dd's friends and their parents. If the friends truly enjoy their church-related activities, they may just want to be sure your dd doesn't miss out on all the fun. They might have asked their mom if they could invite your dd to some activities, and she thought it would be fine. She may not have even thought of it as a way to convert your dd to their religion; she may have just assumed that your dd would have a good time. I know you're worried, and I would feel the same way in your situation. You don't want to let your dd get too attached to these girls, only to get dumped by them if she doesn't get involved with their church. But if you don't find out where the mom stands on all of this, you'll never know for sure what's going on. I know a mom who is incredibly active in her church. She runs the Sunday school, and she and her dh run the youth group and the choir. She handles the fundraisers, is great friends with the pastor, and is basically a human dynamo. She invites everyone to her church, and her ds does, too. If there's a planned activity, they invite everyone they know. It's a small church and they probably need more members. But my initial impressions (that she was a religious fanatic, trying to lure unsuspecting people into their church...:rolleyes:) were completely wrong. Sure, she wanted people to know more about her church, but she was fine with it if people told her it wasn't for them. She and her dh have lots of friends (honestly, everyone seems to like them) and many of those people are not Christian, or religious in any way. My suggestion is that you invite the mom and her dds to go out for lunch together or to bring a picnic lunch to a park, and while the kids are playing together, you could gently broach the subject. You could say that you appreciate the invitations to the church functions, and that they sound like a lot of fun, but you're a bit concerned because your family doesn't share the same beliefs, and you are happy the way you are. You may very well find out that the other mom has no intention of trying to do anything more than include your dd in her dds' activities. And if she has a problem with your dd not being part of the same church, and won't allow her dds to be friends with "different" kids, at least you'll know firsthand what's going on, and it will be sooner rather than later. I think you really need to talk to the mom, but not in a "this is all about your church" sort of way -- more of a social lunch thing where you thank her for all the invitations and want to make sure she's ok with it that your dd won't be joining their church. Cat
  6. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Wow, Peela, so many changes all at once. I'm so sorry you have to deal with so much right now.
  7. Shawna -- Did your dh get the job offer? Are you going to move? Just being nosy... :tongue_smilie: Cat
  8. If she didn't like him, was she allowed to return him and exchange him for a couple of Barbies instead? ;):D Cat
  9. It is so helpful to read posts by both newbies and "long-timers," because it's encouraging to see that the consensus is that Greenville is a great place (and according to a select few, if Greenville is not actually Heaven itself, then it's possibly pretty close to it. :tongue_smilie:) I didn't even start this thread, and I've already told my dh it might be time to take a little trip to Greenville. :p I'm pretty sure he wishes I would never go online... ;) Cat
  10. :iagree: With matching fake tans, and cut-&-colored-to-match hairstyles. :glare: The kids look way too old for their ages, and the moms look like they're trying way too hard to re-live their long-lost teen years. Looking great for your age is wonderful; trying to look your teen daughter's age is kind of pathetic, even if you're still gorgeous and in great shape. Cat
  11. Would "The Academy" and "The University" have the initials B-J-U? ;) We used their DVD program for quite some time, and every time they showed their campus, I thought it was lovely. I have never been to Greenville, so I have no idea about the "influence," but I would assume that if you or your kids don't attend the academy or the university, and you don't teach there, BJU wouldn't have any impact on your life unless you wanted it to. At least that's how things are here in the NYC area. We have plenty of college towns, and there's not any particular "influence." Maybe things are different in other parts of the country I can only speak for my own area. Cat
  12. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I hope everything works out for you, Julie! Cat
  13. I would absolutely not be looking forward to bugs, spiders, or snakes, either, especially if they were different than the ones I'm used to seeing (and that's not many.) I would probably manage to convince myself that they were all deadly... :tongue_smilie:
  14. :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: If you start a thread about it, I'll bet someone will have an answer for you... ;) Cat
  15. How did your dd do at school today? Did you alert the teacher to a potential problem, or are you going to wait and see how things go before involving anyone else? I hope the boy left your dd alone today. :grouphug: Cat
  16. Thanks for posting the update, Jann -- I hope you are able to find out exactly what is going on very soon.
  17. Good luck -- I hope you hear something soon!!! Sorry if I scared you about the crime statistics, but when I saw those numbers, and then compared them with a few known high-crime areas here in the NY/NJ area, I got worried. FWIW, Newark, NJ scored 7 & 5 and Paterson, NJ scored 8 & 4 on the BestPlaces crime ratings, so that's why I was so alarmed at Greenville's 9 & 8 numbers. Camden, NJ is one of the murder capitals of the world, and they ranked 10 & 7 (so apparently, you'll be killed, but they might not steal your car...) I guess the most important thing is that the people who have posted here do not agree with the rankings, and that they feel safe when they are in their homes, as well as when they are out and about. I hope you're able to visit the area before your dh makes a commitment to the new job, just to get a feel for the place. Personally, from what I've seen of it online, Greenville looks lovely. With around 60,000 people, it's probably a nice compromise between a large town and a small city, which I think would be very nice. Have you seen the online videos about the town? Here's a link: http://www.greenvillesc.gov/Webstream/default.aspx I'm still confused about the crime thing, and am hoping that BestPlaces is just plain wrong about them, because from what I saw in the videos and am hearing from the people here who live there, it sounds like a perfect place for a family -- with the added bonus of a large and active homeschool community (which I really wish we had in my area, and is one of the reasons why we'd like to move elsewhere!) Cat
  18. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry. I will pray for you and your family. Cat
  19. Greenville sounded so nice that I decided to check out the real estate on Realtor.com and there are some gorgeous homes to choose from, so I went to BestPlaces.net to do a bit more research, and they listed the crime rate as being 9/10 for violent crime and 8/10 for property crime. :eek::eek::eek: Those numbers are SCARY! So now I'm confused. It sounded like a great, family-friendly place, but then I saw those crime statistics and am trying to figure out if there's a really, really bad part of town or something?:confused: I know I didn't start this thread, but I've gotten quite caught up in it, because we're always looking for a new place to live and Greenville was starting to sound pretty good... Cat
  20. Shawna, I know nothing about the area, but I was just thinking that if you mention what type of area you live in now (rural, suburban, urban,) as well as your general geographic area you're from (northeast, southwest, etc.,) the type of home you'll be looking for, and your general budget, you would probably get a lot more useful information. One person's ideal environment can be completely different from the next person's, because if I like the city and you like the country, and I like the cold and you like hot and humid, my advice won't mean much to you! :001_smile: Cat
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