Gwen in VA
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Everything posted by Gwen in VA
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Great high school sending kids to mediocre colleges?
Gwen in VA replied to PhotoGal's topic in The College Board
Yes, yes, and yes. :iagree: Ds2 had a ridiculously rigorous high school education, got into the college of his dreams, and dropped out of college after one year because he felt he could better pursue his dream career without spending an additional three years in college. His college peers will graduate this Saturday. My son will not. Instead, he has launched an amazing high-profile career and is now the go-to guy for not just people in his company but people who have related ideas they want realized in the greater community of which he is part. His successful career launch was due to not just luck, hard work, and drive, but a stellar high school education in which he perfected the art of being an autodidact. In high school he learned that he can learn anything given the internet and a reason for doing it. Was his high school background, complete with upteen AP's, CC classes, SAT-2's, etc., overkill for a college dropout? NO! His education has allowed him to pursue his dreams -- even though his dreams did not involve academia! Without his high school education he might have had to stay in college to achieve his dreams! :tongue_smilie: -
Great high school sending kids to mediocre colleges?
Gwen in VA replied to PhotoGal's topic in The College Board
Programs. Professors. Internships. Proximity to home. School culture. Dh and I went to a tippy-top brand-school. When our oldest was heading off to college, we were very interested in the name, the prestige, the "impress" factor. By the time #3 came along, we were far more interested in the program, the opportunities, the school culture...... And our #4 musician-kid, who chose her school 100% by her own criteria, is the happiest of the four in terms of college experiences. She was accepted to two of the top three or four schools in the country (in terms of name and prestige) for her particular music major. She decided to go to a (trivially) more expensive school (translation -- she received more merit aid from the name schools) that few have heard of. She couldn't be happier -- and in fact one of the ten or so students in her major from one of the "name" schools is transferring to her school! If we had more kids, I wouldn't even consider the name and prestige factor, and I would be much more comfortable just sending them to the local CC if that was the best option for them. College is NOT destiny, but the experiences you have in college can shape the rest of your life. Choose where you have those experiences wisely -- not just because some unknown person at US News & World Report says that this school is better than that school. -
How soon is too soon for transfer applications?
Gwen in VA replied to elegantlion's topic in The College Board
Dd found that as a music major even early December is late to start. (Thankfully all the schools she applied to accepted her late application -- with specific permission from the head of the department....) Best wishes! Transferring is a hard process. (I transferred ages ago when there were wolves in Wales, dd transferred last fall..... for both of us it was the right thing to do, but it wasn't easy!) -
So, help me make a checklist for transferring?
Gwen in VA replied to Jenny in Florida's topic in The College Board
That sounds like an amazingly complete list! Good job -- and best wishes to him. -
Interested in Everyone's Thoughts (Transfer?)
Gwen in VA replied to Jenny in Florida's topic in The College Board
Sounds completely reasonable. Random piece of advice -- let HIM own the process. 1) He should get in touch with the new U as soon as possible -- miracles in admissions do occur, and maybe someone in the program he wants to be in just dropped out..... 2) He should come up with his own "5-year plan" and put it down on paper, along with some reasons why this is better for him. (It sounds like you have sort of done this, but he should do this as an independent exercise.) 3) If he decides to leave the other school, he should get in touch with his advisor and any profs who have been helpful to him ASAP and let them know what is up. He may need recommendations from them later on and he may benefit from his connection to them, so he should be as open and honest with them as possible. Especially in the arts, he needs to keep those connections! 4) If he decides to leave the other school, he should get in touch with the registrar ASAP about withdrawing. He should probably ask to just take a year's leave of absence so he can reconsider his options in a year -- why close a door if you don't have to? 5) He should consider carefully what he will say to concerned friends, acquaintances, and random people. Some folks do not think highly of quick changes, so he needs to have a quick coherent story available for any who ask. (We know about #5 since dd withdrew from a college in June before her freshman year. Everyone wanted to know why she was attending school B when they had heard she would be at school A. Then after her freshman year she transferred to a different school, and again EVERYONE wanted to know why. She found that having a simple positive two-sentence explanation that she had worked out beforehand was a life-saver. Only a few people know the 30-minute version of the story, which is as it should be.) -
My oldest is graduating with a Ph.D. in a few weeks, so right now she is job-hunting...... #2 and #3 are gainfully employed (yay!) in the adult world. #4 is going to have a wonderful crazy summer. She has a job as church organist in the town where her college is (about 4 hours from home) so she needs to be there on Sundays. She will spend the weekdays at home working as a musician at a local place. (Yes, she is one of a few music majors out there who will earn good money this summer completely by making music!) And she is getting paid to learn how to play the baroque flute! :001_smile: She will definitely rack up a lot of miles on her car, but it should be a great summer for her.
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Definitely college graduation -- she's marrying my son in August! :party: Thanks for the suggestions about concerts or a gift certificate. She may be spending the next year after the wedding in a boat on the Caribbean, so I'm trying to avoid anything house-related! (And besides, they'll get plenty of that stuff as wedding presents.) But a gift certificate for an EVENT of some kind would be wonderful.....
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I tend to give cold hard cash (or a check) as a graduation present. (Hey, it's useful!) But my son's fiancee is graduating, and the cash/check option is definitely not appropriate. So what do you get a young woman as a graduation gift? All I have been able to think of is jewelry, and she is not a jewelry type of girl. Any ideas would be appreciated!
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Good luck trying to lower the cost. Two years ago dd had to attend a freshman orientation at a school about 7 hours from us. All told, between the cost of the orientation and the two nights at a hotel for me and meals out and gas the bill was nearly $1000 (and we drove!). Dd said that absolutely no new or valuable information was imparted to students. The parent sessions were dreadful! The only benefit was that dd decided not to attend that school (yes, she changed in mind in mid-June!). But hopefully most students don't react to freshman orientation that way!
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Have you shared your own college transcript with your children?
Gwen in VA replied to Pegasus's topic in The College Board
My kids know my grades. They laugh -- I attended a top university, but my high school GPA was not a 4.0. Back in the day, students could get occasional B's and still get into top colleges! My kids know a lot about many of the decisions dh and I made -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. They know the why's and they know the consequences of them. And my kids know ALL about my numerous bad thermo profs. (Why can't thermo profs teach?) They even know all about their infamous grading policies -- one gave all scores within one standard deviation of the mean a C.......... Since there was one student who got 100% on all assignments, including the test where the average was 32, the standard deviation was rather large. At one point it was possible to have a NEGATIVE score and get a D! -
We had to "rearrange" a test date once. It cost beaucoup $$$$$. The College Board never misses a way to get more money, does it? Sympathy -- and I hope your trip back to the States goes smoothly.
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Daughter getting cold feet about chosen college
Gwen in VA replied to cave canem's topic in The College Board
My dd accepted LAC #1 with a very strong music program. I had some grave reservations about this college, but it had been her top choice since spring of junior year and they had awarded her a full-ride scholarship. She had visited the college three times and had a great relationship with the prof on her instrument. She sent in her deposit and was happy. Then she stayed there for two days in late June for the summer orientation program. She was a wreck afterwards and said that she absolutely could NOT attend that college. We listened, and her reasons seemed reasonable to us. As a measure of how strongly she felt about NOT going, she said that she was fine attending the local CC and transferring somewhere else later. On June 20 she wrote a gracious (well, as gracious as you can be given the circumstances) letter to her prof and to the admissions people thanking them for the generous scholarship but saying that she would not be attending. On June 22 she contacted the local "Public Ivy" she had been accepted to in the spring and asked if she could enroll. The secretary at the admissions office said of course not, that they had frozen the freshman class at this point, and it was impossible. Dd personally emailed her admissions person, and this woman contacted dd an hour later to say that yes, she could be re-accepted but not as a ___ Scholar!!! Three hours later the admissions person called and said that dd could even enroll as a _____ Scholar! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: (This late enrollment thing does make for awkward conversations when you discover that people you are talking with are the parents of kids who were wait listed and who were told several weeks before your dd was re-accepted that they would NOT get in!!!!!) (Ending of story -- dd transferred from the Public Ivy to a conservatory at the end of her freshman year, but she had a GREAT freshman year and is now happy at her conservatory. We are so amazingly glad she didn't go to the college she originally accepted!) So definitely call the admissions office. The freshman class may not be 100% "frozen" on May 1. And soometimes miracles do happen! Best wishes. And yes, for rising college freshman, buyer's remorse isn't always just fear -- it can be a new realization or a change of direction on the part of the student. -
I would officially ask for accommodations through the office of disabilities. There are specific forms to fill out, and the doctor gets to specify what accommodations are needed. My dd needed a dorm with a fridge and A/C, which meant that she had to get assigned to a specific dorm. She filled out the accommodation request form, her doctor filled out the M.D. part, and the school granted the request. Period. Sometimes life is easy! Relying on the school being nice and granting a specific request is always a bit risky. If you go the official route, there is no wiggle room for the school.
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In general, I'd agree with this statement, but as always look at your situation. For people whose grad school interests are truly cross-disciplinary, double-majoring is definitely the way to go. For example, my dd just earned her Ph.D. in materials science with a focus on art conservation. Nearly everyone in her research group double-majored in chemistry and art history as an undergrad.
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As others have said, it depends. Some majors have classes that are fairly "flat" in structure -- there are not a lot of prereqs. Some, like chemistry, have a fairly rigid structure that you need to follow in order to graduate on time. Double-majoring in two rigid disciplines would be a challenge. Dd1 double-majored, and ds1 triple-majored! :tongue_smilie: Dd1 was dealing with one major that was fairly rigid (chemistry) and one that was fairly "flat" (art history). Since she came in with about 50 credits from AP's and dual-enrollment classes in hs, she was able to do it fairly effortlessly. (Her majors also were highly complimentary -- between AP's and her majors, she had NO gen eds she needed to take!!!!!) She had TWO "open" classes in her entire four years, but that's what she wanted to do and it worked for her. She wanted to double major because she was interested in art conservation, which really is a mix of both majors. She is still reaping the benefits of having double-majored. Ds1 triple-majored. Again, between AP's and dual-enrollment classes in hs, he entered with nearly 60 credits and most of his gen eds already filled. Also, all three of his majors had a fairly "flat" structure. As long as your son has a good reason to double-major, I think it makes a lot of sense. Frequently music majors are double-majors -- for obvious reasons!
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Parents of current college students, how is it going?
Gwen in VA replied to daijobu's topic in The College Board
One thing I didn't understand about the Greek / non-Greek scene is that when a college is 80% Greek, it does NOT mean that the remaining 20% of students are happy independents. The non-Greek students in a heavily Greek college will be made up of a variety of students -- 1) The students who want to go Greek but either didn't have the GPA to rush or were kicked out because of their GPA 2) Foreign students who (at least at my kids' schools) enter the Greek scene at much lower rates 3) Students with other issues or who are real loners 4) Students who didn't rush successfully for whatever reason 5) And lastly, the ones who just want to be independent I somehow thought that if a college was 80% Greek, the remaining students would ALL be in category 5. Silly me! Live and learn! -
Parents of current college students, how is it going?
Gwen in VA replied to daijobu's topic in The College Board
I hear you loud and clear. My older two went to a college that is an outstanding school academically but is approximately 80% Greek. They both opted not to go Greek, and that resulted in more loneliness than I (as their mom) want to think about. Hugs to you. And do rest assured that a lonely college experience is tough but if your son is like mine there is light at the end of the tunnel. Both of my kids did find their tribe -- one in grad school and one after college in a local church / young adults group. -
Parents of current college students, how is it going?
Gwen in VA replied to daijobu's topic in The College Board
What a fascinating thread! Dd2 is finishing up her sophomore year at a conservatory. She transferred there from a highly-ranked LAC, so there has definitely been an adjustment period! (Unsurprisingly, she has found the liberal arts classes to be quite easy!) She is thriving and finding her crowd, but it's been a tough year for her.She's had a job rejection (not unusual, but an experience she's never had before), she's broken up with her bf, she's had some bizarre medical issues that we need to follow on this summer, and she has had to navigate a very different social scene. She's giving a solo concert tonight in some town near Niagara Falls -- hundreds of miles from anyone she knows. She's been treated very well by the folks sponsoring the concert. Since she isn't old enough to rent a car, she has been escorted everywhere and even been given a tour of the area -- including viewing the Falls from the American side. I admire her courage in agreeing to do this concert! -
Navigating the Transition from School to the Workplace
Gwen in VA replied to OnMyOwn's topic in The College Board
Finding the right internship / experience is a delicate dance. And there is no sure path. I know one young man, a top student at a top-20 LAC, who was convinced he was headed towards grad school in a specific field which values research more than work experience. Due to a shortage of jobs in the field and at the recommendation of his profs he only applied to programs in the top ten and was rejected. (Some of the programs had acceptance rates below 5%!) Since he didn't get into grad school, he needed a job. His research experience, geared towards helping him in grad school, was considered all but useless by the companies at which he was able to get interviews. He is okay now, but he spent several years trying to move forward, despite the research experience and being Phi Beta Kappa, etc. What he thought was the right way to move forward proved not to be. The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley. -
Call financial aid and ask what percentage of students want work-study but can't get it. I've heard of colleges which just don't have enough work-study jobs available. My older two attended a college where work-study was available for anyone on either financial aid or merit aid, since there weren't enough students who needed it to fill all the positions available. Do consider the possibility that work-study isn't the best option for work. Some jobs pay really well, and work-study usually only pays a bit above minimum wage. What matters is how much money he earns, not whether he earns it on campus or off campus!
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Great question! Dd and I were thinking it would be fascinating to get some sociology grad students to follow some engineering students over the course of their grad school careers (of course, multiple schools and multiple research groups but only one discipline to reduce some of the outside unknowns), asking about things ranging from: 1) How prepared were they for grad school? (Academics) 2) How much outside support did they have? (Prior mentors, family support) 3) Finances? 4) Boyfriends/girlfriends? Present or absent? Support? And then follow these students through grad school -- when did they feel supported, when did they feel awful? Why did some students decide to drop out and others stay in? How easily did they find a research group? What was the gender ratio in the group? how supportive was it? It would be fascinating, but (like most research) the more we thought about this study, the more complicated it became. BTW, dd's research group is mostly female (?!?!?!?!?) and her prof is NOT a workaholic. He takes time off to support his kids' activities, and he doesn't encourage work over the weekends. And she had a very supportive mentor from college. And..... ultimately she worked amazingly hard to finish her dissertation, but so many things that she couldn't control ALSO went right for her. We are thankful.
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I went to an all-women's college for my freshman year and then transferred to an engineering school that was (at the time) about 20% women. Honestly, FOR ME the gender ratio made no difference. At the same time, my dd is in grad school, and in the class below hers 7 out of 8 of the students who have dropped out so far are female (and marriage / kids were not a factor in the decisions). As much as I tend to pooh-pooh gender discrimination, I find that number a bit discouraging. There are certainly gender factors that influence education....... (And my dd just passed her defense last Friday -- in June she will receive a Ph.D. from the #2 program in the country in her field of engineering!!!!! )
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Accepting scholarships at a school the student may not attend
Gwen in VA replied to Pegasus's topic in The College Board
Keep the option open! Accept School #1 and then wait..... -
article: The biggest college planning mistake parents make
Gwen in VA replied to MarkT's topic in The College Board
And so much depends on the kid. Dh and I believe in the importance of attending college. Our oldest two are "intellectuals" (can I put scare quotes around the scare quotes?) who loved the intellectual challenge they found at their LAC. Both went on to grad school. We expected our younger two to follow in their footsteps. Well, ds2 dropped out of college after one year -- NOT due to academic reasons but due to the fact that he felt the education would not help him achieve his goals. He now has three years of job experience in the career he was hoping to get into, so we certainly can't argue that the college education was needed! He has NO regrets. (And he reads textbooks in the evening for pleasure!) Sometimes even if parents think that college is essential, the kid disagrees. And sometimes the kid can be right! -
Sending a kid OOS for college - tips needed!
Gwen in VA replied to hopskipjump's topic in The College Board
Have your student list you as a co-signer on his/her bank account back home. We have done this anytime my kids were out of the country. They then get back to the States and forget to take me off Good thing I am still listed on the account -- I just Fed-Ex'ed a cashier check from that account cross-country for a deposit on an apartment! Seriously, the fact that I am listed on their accounts has come in handy multiple times while they were OOS.