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wathe

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Posts posted by wathe

  1. I had a Subaru Impreza as my winter driver for 15 years (the same one).  It is absolutely brilliant in snow.  It has only ever need minor repairs (brakes etc).  We are in a very snowy area athat gets serious winter.

     

    Our other car is a Honda fit.   With a good set of snow tires it handles well enough on snow and ice (better than you might expect).

     

    You might consider a a more inexpensive car with really good snow tires.  If I had to choose between good snow tires and AWD, I would choose the snow tires every time. 

    • Like 1
  2. For us, this mostly falls under parenting and family culture.

     

    More formal things we've done:

    Swimming lessons which has a significant water safety component

    Annual fire station visit with scout group

    We've been more intentional about sex-ed: We've read together "It's not the stork" and "It's so amazing" .  They also have free access to the books to re-read privately when they want to. 

    • Like 2
  3. You could say "I'm not interested in talking to you."  You could excuse yourself.  Wear shirts with controversian slogans so people won't approach you.

     

    Though this doesn't work when there is an imbalance of power in the relationship.  Which can be subtle, and not obvious the the person asking.  Cashier/customer, healthcare provider/patient, amongst co-workers etc.  And even when there doesn't seem to be an imbalance of power, the POC may perceive one the asker doesn't (older or male person asking, or simply being out in public in an enviromnent where the POC has had to deal with blatant racism before).  It may not feel safe for POC to answer this way in the very same situation that might feel safe for someone who is white.

  4. Found this googling around:  A Toronto based activism program for asian identified youth calls itself (brace yorselves...) WAYF.  Because it is a unifying experience that all have dealt with over and over and over............

    • Like 1
  5. WYAF as code for "what kind of asian are you?" totally a thing that Asian Canadians have to deal with regularly.  Consider googling "is where are you from racist" or "why is where are you from racist" and you will be able to read multiple North American Asian experiences with this. 

     

    The trouble is, WYAF can also be an appropriate, non-racist question too.  It's all about the context.

     

    In a social situation where lots of folks from lots of places are getting to know one another (conference, flight, resort) everyone gets asked this question and that's totally appropriate.  As long as the asker accepts the answer the askee chooses to provide.  It becomes racist in this situation when the asker doesn't accept the answer provided and keeps asking more variations of WAYF, fishing for an origin story.  And only does this to the person of colour in the group (again, it's different if we are all getting friendly and all swapping origin stories.  But that's not what usually happens.  Usually the asian is singled out.)

     

    In a situation where the POC is singled out with WAYF (and noboldy else gets asked the question), the asian askee will interpret the intent as "what kind of asian are you?"  Because usually that's what's actually meant.  And the person being asked has dealt with this eighty bajillion times alrealdy, has pretty good radar for this, and is annoyed. 

     

    When people ask me WAYF, it's always of the socially appropriate variety.  When I answer *Canadian City*, it's always accepted and the conversation moves on.  I am white.  DH (asian) gets asked more often, and it slides into racist territory pretty often.  If he answers *Canadian City* he will often get a pause.  Which will often lead into another variation of WAYF.  The whiter the group/community, the more often it happens.  He has subconsciously developed a defense mechanism:  He answers WAYF with "*Canadian City*, born and raised".  Politely shutting down further inquiry.  He didn't consciously realize he was doing this until the related "What are you" issue started to come up with our kids, and he supplied them with "Canadian, born and raised."

     

     

     

    • Like 5
  6. Someone asked me at the park about my mixed race children, "What are they?"  I answered, "human". 

     

    Someone else asked my Filipino-American husband "where are your people from"?  They didn't expect the name of our American city. 

     

    I realize that people probably don't mean for these things to be so rude but if they thought just two seconds before opening their mouth, they could ask things in a much better way if they even chose to ask at all.  I talk to people in public all the time and most exchanges are really nice but sometimes. . .

     

    We have had all of these, and the twin thing too.

     

    "What are they", "Where did you get him?" (from a co-worker!), "They must look like their dad" - all code for "your children look so different from you that I can't help making a comment" I think.

     

    DH gets variations of "where are you from" as code for "what's your race" all the time.  Folks are often not satisfied with **Canadian City** as an answer.

     

    I get comments that my boys (1.5 years apart, different hair texture, different eye shape, 4 inch height difference, one asian-looking, one white-looking in features, but same colouring) must be twins regularly.   Just today at the fabric store (where we have been semi-regulars for years) the staff asked "How old are your boys now?" "8 and 9"  "I thought they were twins!  They grow so fast" - not rude, just small talk.  I think the fact that they look more like each other than they do me throws people off. 

    • Like 1
  7. A single dose of doxycycline is the standard for Lyme prophylaxis for ticks attached greater than 36 hours and in a Lyme endemic area.  ( If tick attached less than 36h, or non-Lyme endemic area, then do nothing).  The idea is to prevent a Lyme infection before it can get established.  This is completely different than treating established, symptomatic Lyme disease, which would require a much longer course of antibiotics.  Testing before prophylaxis doesn't work (at least in my corner of Canada):  Lyme serology takes months, and speciation of the tick by public health takes weeks.  And it takes time for the body to start making the antibodies tested for, so early tests are usuallly negative.  A test drawn this early would almost certainly be negative.

    • Like 2
  8. It's important to teach racism and the pervasive effects so that he won't assume all people have had the same advantages he has. Feeling "color blind" is a place of privilege.

     

    This.  As a white child growing up in a predominantly white community, I was totally blind the realities of racism and to my white privilege.  Then I went to a university with lots of diversity, and thought I understood racism.  Then got into a relationship with a person of color and realized I had still been pretty clueless.  Got married to a person of color, and realized i still hadn't really gotten it before.  Then had kids of color and had my eyes opened yet again.  Now I hope I am wise enough to realize that as a white person, I will never truly understand racism the way a person of color will.  I am very aware of my privilege. 

    • Like 6
  9. An antiracism resource thread from a while ago.  Excellent stuff there.

     

    Also, this is a good opportunity to introduce the concept of white privilege.   How easy it is to not notice racism when one is white, and how this plays into the concept.  In my experience, kids of color (including my own) know what racism is well before the age of 10, in part by direct experience.  (I am assuming your DS is white - maybe I am way off-base here, but I cannot imagine a 10 year old child of color not knowing what racism is.)

     

     

     

    • Like 4
  10. 9yo DS is learning multidigit multiplication.  He is balking at learning the standard algorithm where one carries/regroups as one goes along.  He finds that switching between multiplying and adding (when one carries) as one goes along "mixes me up".   Instead, for each digit multiplied, he likes to write his product on a new line, then do all the adding and regrouping at the end. 

     

    For example he would solve 34x56 this way:

     

      34

    x56

    ------

    0024

    0180

    0200

    1500

    ------

    1904

     

    He is using Math U See gamma, and education unboxed videos.  He understands how to view the problem as solving the area of a rectangle, made of smaller rectangles representing units x units, units x tens, tens x units, tens x tens etc.  He understands place value.  He makes very few mistakes.

     

    I am thinking giving up on the traditional algorithm and having him continue along as he is doing.   Maybe try to teach the traditional algorithm next year.

     

    Other than taking up an awful lot of paper (especially for 3 or 4 digit problems), can any of you mathy folks see a problem with this? 

     

     

    • Like 1
  11. no it doesn't. All he has to do is have a third person present. Even doctors have to do that.

     

    A bit of a tangent here:  I think this is a false comparison. Here (Canada) doctors are alone, behind closed doors, with patients all the time.  Most will have a chaperone for pelvic exams only.  But not for interviews and general physical exams.  In my mind, male /female professional relationships and the need for a chaperone for medical examination are not comparable.

    • Like 9
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