Free grocery pickup at Walmart has really helped me. I order everything on my phone, have DH pick it up, and don't order again until I'm supposed to. So if we blow through our groceries too soon, I'm forced to raid the pantry and freezer for something to make up the difference (usually breakfast for dinner, soup and grilled cheese, or pasta). This keeps me from making impulse purchases, and helps me to plan realistically and make do instead of running to the store again when we run out of food prematurely.

Oh man, I wish I had advice for you. I'm in the same boat. And my friend has all boys, while we have girls, so she is all about, "That's just how boys are!" They scream, hit, kick, bite, etc. The oldest is nine, so while he doesn't usually do those things anymore, he is so clingy and twerpy. I know there are people out there who don't mind a nine year old hanging around interjecting his opinion into adult conversation or going on nonstop about Minecraft, but not me. I'm of the "Get out of here and go play!" set. Like your friend, they cosleep and dad only does the occasional babysitting. To be fair, I sometimes wonder if I drive her crazy because we are so much more strict and are sort of detachment parents (vs attachment).

Can we talk about this while remaining civil? Bertrand Russell was once asked what he'd say if he died an atheist and met God in the afterlife. He replied, "Not enough evidence, God! Not enough evidence!" I feel like I'm in the same boat. Why do you think it is that God doesn't reveal himself to people who are seeking him? How do you deal with the fact that God seems to be a deity of coincidences--he heals Christians and non-Christians at the same rate, what is often attributed to God's work is often in conjunction with medical science ("God healed her cancer!" when she was taking chemo, for example). If someone loses a leg and prays for God's healing, it's not like God regrows the limb. Why didn't Jesus drop some science on his audience that could later confirm he divine knowledge of how things work? Like if he explained germ theory or at least emphasized the importance of washing one's hands, he could have saved billions of lives on top of making a case for his divinity. Or he could have talked about the planets or something. I am not asking these questions as a "Gotcha!" I'm really struggling because I feel like without something...more...to go on, if I were to become religious, I'd just be lying to myself. I'd chalk up every tingly feeling as a divine presence, and every stroke of luck as confirmation that God was interceding on my behalf. But really I'd know that I was just faking it because reality was too hard to bear. I don't know how to get past these doubts.

My great aunt, who helped raise me like a third parent, took my brother' side when I told her that he'd molested my sister and I for years when we were kids. I was in college when I told her and my mom; I had severe depression and a lot of problems dealing with it. My therapist thought it'd be a good idea to tell them. It caused a major rift because I felt so betrayed by my aunt. Pretty much the whole family scorned me for making such horrific allegations. My aunt and I haven't communicated in about ten years. She's almost eighty now. My mom told me my aunt is in really poor health and my aunt doesn't think she will live much longer. Mom's insisting I go to my brother's house to celebrate Thanksgiving with my aunt (he always hosts) while my aunt and I still have time to make amends. I drove down to see my aunt and she expressed this wish also. I feel so awful about it I could cry. If I decline, which I must--I can't bring my daughter into the home of a child molester--then everyone will think I'm a terrible person for disregarding my aunt's last wishes and once again "hurting the family." Once more I'm the bad guy. If I had known how much telling the truth would end up hurting me, I never would have breathed a word. :( In a way, it's like he stole my relationship with my aunt and extended family, along with everything else. I'm a mess.

Has anyone been to either or both Concord and Williamsburg? We're a lot closer to Concord, but it doesn't have a lazy river or hot tub. But then I've also heard that Concord is newer. This is the only vacation we will be able to take this year, so I want to get it right. I'd be willing to drive the extra mile to Williamsburg if it was better. It's hard to tell based on TripAdvisor reviews. Any firsthand experiences would be welcome!

Do they normally do free shipping during Black Friday too?

We do stockings and small gifts for the grandparents, and then a vacation experience for the kids. This year, our oldest is getting a train set, so that will be set up around the tree this year. Otherwise, she's getting glow bracelets, bubbles, self inking stamps, and some finger puppets in her stocking. Younger DD is still a baby, so she'll get some teething toys and a little Christmas bear. In our stockings, I'm putting lottery tickets, chocolate covered cherries, pecan delights, and a new card game (haven't decided which one). For our vacation this year, we're spending three days at Great Wolf Lodge.

I think it says a lot about our culture that someone like Bridget is today's Elizabeth Bennett.

Aw, thank you! I really hope we are as gracious as your mother was when our children are grown up.

I'm literally taking notes from this thread. We are going to drop the bomb over text, because neither of us can deal with the tears and tantrums over the phone or in person. Here's some of what I've stolen from you guys so far that i plan on using. Keep them coming! I'm substituting D: for :cursing: because evidently you're only allowed to use so many emoticons in a single post, ha. --- You guys should come to our house for Christmas! :) It'll be our first Christmas in our new home, and you haven't seen our house yet. It'll be great. D: We really don't want to travel for the holidays, the roads are bad and [9 month old] hates being stuck in her car seat. D: D: We really want to have our kids' memories of Christmas to be here at home. D: D: D: We've done Christmas at your house for the past thirteen years. Now that we have a house of our own, it's our turn to host. D: D: D: D: You're welcome any time, just let us know when you'd like to come. We really want to you and FIL to come be a part of our Christmas tradition. D: D: D: D: D:

Do you read everyone in an Aussie accent even though you know most people here are American?

Thanks!

The only two that are jumping to mind are from Circe and Roman Roads. Are there any others you love? I tried using the search function to see if this has been discussed before but nothing really came up.

From reading the book, do you think we are supposed to feel really torn about her decision to go back? Because I kind of get the feeling from the show that Claire wasn't really there for her daughter growing up (Frank says as much), and even when she's saying why she shouldn't go, it's phrased in how it will affect HER (not Bree). It feels like she'll be sad about leaving her like she was sad about Frank's death--resigned and relieved to wash her hands of an entanglement that gets in the way of Jamie. I don't know though. Maybe I judge her too harshly.

GC Plus is $50 per month, right? Does the subscription price ever go on sale?

I don't think I could leave my twenty year old daughter like that. The daughter would feel as though her mother died, and vice versa.

It's hard to respond to everyone individually, but I do want to clarify that she's not a regular caregiver. We come see the grandparents every two or three weeks or so on the weekends. We usually drop her off with them during that timeframe once or maybe twice that weekend we're visiting. To be honest, we probably should have done supervised visits long ago, but she does this outrageous, over the top routine where she tries to prove to everyone in the room that she loves DD the most. If you've ever seen a narcissist with a golden grandchild, you know what I mean. It's so insufferable that we gradually found excuses not to be around her when she has DD. Now I'm thinking we probably chose the path of least resistance at the expense of DD. Live and learn I guess.

To quickly answer some questions... She didn't ask permission, she did it several times before we found out, and has done it at least twice since we asked her to stop. She doesn't really watch DD at bath time (typically the times are around 1 - 7 pm, DD goes to bed at 8:30 and we usually bathe her at 8). The baths have just happened at random times in the afternoon. Grandma doesn't come from a particular culture where this is practiced, except that she's in her seventies and maybe that was done when she was a kid. FIL doesn't think it's weird, but he's completely in MIL's corner on just about everything. I think supervised visits are going to have to be a must. I was afraid my own history was making me too sensitive to this issue, but judging from the responses, it really is atypical behavior and her disregard for our wishes means we can't put our trust in her.

Ugh, LMD, you hit the nail on the head. I was respectful but firm, she escalated it to level 10, we backed down because we didn't want to fight. That's how it typically goes. She is a textbook narcissist, but DH doesn't want to cut off contact because she is in her seventies and has a lot of health problems. I think you might be right that visits should be supervised. In that case, I might die before she does from all the stress.

Would you be okay with your MIL bathing in the tub with your four year old daughter? (No swim suits or anything.) The kid sees nothing wrong with it. This is a huge crossing of boundaries for me. My DH says he thinks it's s little icky but he doesn't want to fight a battle over it. I can't help feeling like it's a hill to die on. Maybe it's because neither of us have ever bathed with our kids. Maybe it's because I had a traumatic childhood. I don't know. Is this common or as weird as I think it is? How do we put a stop to it without implying that we think grandma is a child predator (the one time I mentioned it she practically yelled that I shouldn't treat her like she's a child molester).

Tobias Menzies is an incredible actor, so it's going to be hard for the show to keep the momentum it had now that he's gone.

I'd like to do reusable bags, but we always order our groceries online (free pickup from Walmart). I'm not sure how to not end up with a thousand plastic bags and still reap the benefits of this (DH picks them up on his way home from work, essentially saving me an hour round trip plus the time it'd take to shop).

Does anyone know if they put the speakers' presentations online to watch for a small fee? I can't find much on their site. Jealous I couldn't go!

Water beads? Wiki stix? New toob animals they only get at special times might work. Play doh, if you don't have carpet they can crush it into. Glow sticks and glow bracelets in the bath tub, if you don't mind leaving the younger one alone with the older one in water. Oh, and fun self inking stamps with paper, if you can trust them not to go crazy and mark up the furniture or walls. I also really like those Melissa and Doug pads where they color using a pen filled with water.

Thanks for the recommendation, I'm reading her book now.