Yes, DS will be attending Hillsdale in the fall. Sorry, should have specified that!

DS applied to two- Benedictine College in KS and Hillsdale in MI (Early decision). Accepted at both, 4-year 3/4 tuition merit scholarships at both.

I guess where I am struggling is that with the exception of his sophomore year, he's not homeschooled: everything else has been within the confines of an accredited, degree- granting school. Should I have him apply as a homeschooler anyway?

My son has had a fragmented high school experience unfortunately and I'm struggling with how to present it when he applies to college. I'd appreciate anyone's advice if you have it! 2014-15: His freshman year was at a private prep school. He did well academically (3.8 GPA, honors classes) but the school was a very bad fit socially and the nearly the stress of staying up until midnight or later most nights with homework was overwhelming for him and his new diagnosis of ADD. (Volume of coursework was an issue, not content.) 2015-16: Sophomore year we pulled him out to homeschool, using a homeschool partnership in that is run in conjunction with a local K-8 classical school that had just started its first high school class- adding a grade a year, this was their first freshman class. He did well academically but did not like the homeschool aspect and wanted to switch to the full-time program. Switching to the full-time program, though, meant accepting an extra year of high school as they only had a freshman class at the time. Because it is a new high school, they are adding a grade a year and will only have their first graduating class in 2019. 2016-17: He is full-time at the classical school and doing well (Mostly A's, one B). Social situation is great, and the learning style (fewer subjects but more in depth, more writing/essays and fewer tests and quizzes) fits. He has to do an online math program though because he is in precalc and the high school only offers math up to Algebra 2 so far. Projected 2017-18 and 2018-19: He will continue in the full time high school but with additional either online classes or dual enrollment to cover math and possibly a science not yet available at the high school. He plans to apply for colleges with matriculation in fall 2019. He will have a HS diploma from his accredited classical school but there is that "extra" freshman year from the other high school plus his "sophomore" year he was homeschooled. His standardized test scores tend to be average or slightly above average. We haven't yet looked into accommodations but may do that as he often doesn't finish a section or two in time. We're such a mess! Oh, and he wants to major in music- new territory for me. How should he best present the high school experience on an application? I am tempted to just "ignore" the freshman year but he took some really tough classes that year and did fairly well so it might help him. Ignoring it would also require that he take both a math and science credit his final year in order to meet state requirements- and he would rather spend that time on a music and arts elective that is geared toward his college studies. Ignoring it might also be suspicious since he will be 19 when he graduates. ON the other hand, I don't want it to look like he had to repeat a year out of incompetence - it was more that the new classical school was such a good fit that I wanted him to take advantage of the whole program. The added year of maturity is a blessing when it comes to his executive function skills. Thank you for your help in my confusion!

Thanks for your thoughts. I know what you mean about the co-ops: we've been involved in several in the past that are fluffy to say the least. This one is not really a co-op and is known to be rigorous, which I believe: it is a part of an existing, accredited classical school and classes will be taught by teachers at the school who have been teaching the material for many years. Many students have graduated from the school (both full-time and part-time) and gone on to do well in well-respected colleges. It's not really the academic aspect that concerns me, oddly enough (usually that is my beef!). I think the coursework would be on par with or surpass what is being taught at the parochial school. (Because of district boundary lines, we would be in a higher tuition "tier" and would not be able to afford to send him to this school full-time.) You're right that we could probably switch out an easier elective for one of the harder courses: switching from honors chemistry this year, for example, to "regular" physics next year. That would pretty much put him out of the running to do an AP course in that area later, but would probably help somewhat. The bigger thing is that with my ADD son I'm afraid volume is still an issue. He would still be required to take 7 courses one semester (could take 6 the other, with one study hall). It is not so much the content of the material that is taking so long: he doesn't have difficulty with comprehension, for the most part. It's the volume of handouts, papers, number of problems, frequency of tests, etc. that bowls him over. I don't know if non-honors courses would be any different in terms of volume: some, in fact, have more "busywork" (make and turn in flashcards, review sheets, etc.) because it is assumed those kids need more hand-holding. I'm trying to be well-balanced and not push this thing through because *I* want to do it. Yet, when he himself acknowledges that he prefers the part-time/homeschooling option academically and lifestyle-wise, but overall it's seeing his friends every day in class trumps that, it's hard to reconcile. Especially keeping in mind that these are the friends who tell him honors classes are for losers and brag about the 2+ hours of videogames they play every night (no, most of them are not doing well in school).

Thanks for your response! Sorry I haven't gotten back sooner- I've been traveling and my internet is spotty. Ah, yes, the intrinsic motivation! Still struggling with that one here. I just want him to grab SOMETHING by the horns and run with it. Have a passion or a plan or a goal. We found a great local homeschool partnership that offers good classes twice a week in all of his core courses. He could take almost all of his work there, with more time flexibility and yet consistent exposure to other students (a few of whom he already knows and gets along with). He could participate in a hobby group he's been wanting to join but hasn't had the time. With this knowledge- that it would be more like part-time schooling than homeschooling- he was accepting of the decision to pull out of the parochial school for next year. Not excited, but accepting. This week, though, enrollment forms are due for his current school and he's backpedaling. The teachers are reminding kids to turn in their forms, and students are talking about what classes they'll take next year and he's feeling left out. I think I second-guess myself too much when it comes to making decisions in general, and this is a magnified example! He's shy and can be quite insecure and really looks to his friends for guidance about what's acceptable (not great since the school friends are in the "I don't care about school" camp). I don't think we're going to back down about pulling out of the school, but his reticence is making me rethink.

I feel the same way- No child needs to be studying that much, and I am reteaching at least one subject (math) in the evenings. He needs more balance in his life. For him, the price of staying on top of his schoolwork and maintaining reasonable grades is loss of extracurricular and free time activities that he enjoys. It's not worth it in my mind. We have not allowed smart phones until now, but I am thinking we may relax that if we bring him home so that he has some continued contact with the school friends. I'm guessing DS is right, though- contact with them will likely stop over time. What I don't get- maybe this is a girl/boy difference?- is that he rarely (and I mean once or twice a year, max) does anything outside of school with those friends. There aren't parties he goes to or hang-outs at friends' houses. His interaction with them is almost soley at school, which is why it seems so scary for him to leave that environment. On the other hand, I think- if that is his only interaction with them, they aren't really that great friends, are they? They're more like work acquaintances that you have fun with when you're together but that's about it. His "best friends", honestly, are his younger brothers and a great kid he met at camp a couple of years ago. That boy is long distance, unfortunately, but they text quite a bit and manage to get together for an overnight every couple of months. Now that your DS is 9th grade, do you still have the "no school after 3/4 pm" rule? How does that work out? What kinds of goals did you offer him to work towards? I like the idea, a lot, but my DS is also a super night owl who does much of his best work after 8 pm. I'd like to use the flexibility of homeschooling to allow him to sleep longer in the mornings and work later, but I also dread the idea of his schoolwork draaaaging out to take up the whole day again. Thank you so much for your thoughts- it's so helpful to hear from someone else who has been in a similar situation!

Would you mind elaborating on how that transition was for you? I know your DS was younger than mine but that's my biggest concern right now- his response. Is there anything you did that made it easier for him? Anything you'd do differently? It's funny, in a way, because I wouldn't say he has any really tight friends at school. They are fun acquaintances that he goofs off with in school and he likes the energy of being with them but they almost never spend time together outside of school. Unfortunately one of his two good friends moved two hours away and his other is attending a different high school. We've inquired about accomodations and they are open to extended testing time, which has helped the grades, but not to less homework. Even the extended testing time is kind of a pain because it just means that his testing extends into another class period- so he misses part of that class. Arrgh.

Well, the last couple of nights were actually better than usual- go figure. He was done by about 10, and that was with some piano practicing to boot. Still no "free time", but better. He's not terribly efficient with his time- he's very slow to transition from one subject to another so homwork in multiple subjects each night is a real challenge. Other kids, from what I can tell, frequently stay up very late to do homework (midnight is not uncommon, later if there is a test or exam). The difference I think is taht many of them are also participating in extracurriculars or sports that he can't handle on top of his schoolwork. We've done some work with time management and study skills, and it's helped, but I think he will always be a kid who works more slowly at things. I could pull him out of one of his honors courses but that kills me because it's not the subject matter that's the problem- he gets it, he likes studying it- there's just so MUCH of it. I like the idea of making this more of a discussion- plan now is for DH and I to put together a proposal of sorts, with suggestions of the classes he'd take and in-person courses he could choose from, along with time for extracurriculars. I like the idea of a time limit- we do this a lot with my younger daughter who HATES studying math but can handle it if she knows we'll only be tackling it for 15 minutes. I keep telling myself that a lot of the time pressure we feel now is artificial and based entirely on the school schedule: if he's slow at something (assuming he's trying), it doesn't really matter if he gets through the material in a year or a year and a half, right? Right?!

Yeah, unfortunately parochial schools here don't offer dual enrollment either. Darn. And, to clarify, it wouldn't be so much homeschooling against his will- it's more like he dislikes both options (school and homeschool) but dislikes school less. I don't believe he would fight homeschooling or be belligerent about it. Clearly I am trying to talk myself into something here.... :laugh: The grades themselves aren't so much the issue- it's the amount of time it sucks out of his day. There's no way it can be healthy for a 14 yo to stay up until 11 or midnight doing homework every night!

Bumping this up now in the hopes of some more advice! DS pulled up his grades to mostly B's and a few A's! However, the amount of work that required (while I am super proud of him for doing it) worries me. He has 7 classes (school only allows 1 study hall per year), homework in every class almost every night, at least 5 hours of homework most nights. He gets 6-7 hours of sleep/night, which is not enough for him- makes him cranky and makes it harder for him to do the schoolwork. Sometimes I send him to bed at 1:00 even though he hasn't finished hw just because it is so late- but then he's marked down for late work. He has no time for any other extracurricular, and I can't imagine that changing. He still has almost no time for his instrument or hobbies. I delight in breaks because I see him coming out of that shell who sits at a desk all evening- I see him joke with the family, play with his brothers, do mundane things like run errands with dad and talk about life. Then I realize just how rare it is that we get to do those kinds of things together. I feel like we're on this crazy train and can't get off. He's more open to homeschooling now, having come to hate the amount of work he has now. Although he would not rebel about it- he's pretty compliant and a good kid- his preference is to stay. This preference is based on: 1. Friends (the ones mentioned above). He pretty much only sees them at school, almost never on evenings and weekends. They make school fun and entertaining though. 2. He likes the actual classes: interesting discussions and debates 3. His worry about social isolation homeschooling. We have a lot of co ops in the area which I would explore, and would involve him in whatever outside-of-the-home activity he was interested in, but he's skeptical. Any further thoughts? Thank you so much from this newbie.

Yes, I should have mentioned: he is on meds and has been for awhile. He recently (2-3 months ago) had his dosage upped, which has helped a little bit, at least with his concentration during school. It starts to taper off by the time he gets home, though, and I haven't seen any difference in his behavior there. You're right, though, maybe it's time for a re-evaluation. I also should note that he's not actively fighting the idea of homeschooling again- he would prefer not to if it's up to him and he's not asking to homeschool, but he doesn't really have a strong opinion about it either (except for the tennis, and he might be able to play with the team anyway- certainly he could play with a local club). I'm afraid the not-fighting is more of a manifestation of his generalized apathy towards anything school-related (home or otherwise).

I'm new here, so please feel free to move this if it fits better in a different board. I'm thinking of re-homeschooling my 14 year old and would appreciate any advice you can offer. Briefly, we homeschooled DS from K-5th grade using a classical curriculum. He was diagnosed with ADD around that time (had been exhibiting symptoms for much longer). He had always been a difficult to homeschool kid because of the ADD but we were able to work around it using shorter lessons, lots of hands-on activities, and other modifications. Due to health issues with some of my other kids, plus an unexpected twin pregnancy, we elected to enroll him in our local Catholic school for 6th-8th grade. Academically he did great (all A's), primarily because the material was so easy. The school did not expect very much of the children and it was easy for him to do well on tests and papers without any studying and very little homework. He loved getting to see and hang out with his friends all day but admitted that he was not challenged. I tried to push him to do more (expecting more out of his writing assignments, for example, than his literature teacher did) but was met with resistance: "If Mrs. X thinks this is an A paper, why are you pushing me so hard??" The friends he made at school are nice kids but very into activities that aren't really a strong part of our family value system- lots of video gaming, strong emphasis on sports, and not a lot of parental supervision. Now he is a month and a half into his freshman year at the parochial high school and it is killing him. The amount of homework, on top of tennis practice (every night, 2 hours/night), leaves him going to bed at 11 at the earliest. He is stressed and miserable and doesn't have time to do the things he loves to do (woodworking hobby, playing piano). He is getting mostly low Bs and one C in his classes. He doesn't know how to study for tests, thinks he understands things that he doesn't, and ignores things that are difficult until the last minute. His friends seem to have a much easier time with their classes- at least they spend less time on homework- and are constantly bugging him to go out when he can't because of the amount of homework he has to do in the evenings. All of his ADD struggles, which were easy to mask at his easy middle school, are now flaring full force. His writing skills are, indeed, below average compared to what is expected of him in his composition course. I have been helping him organize his schedule and keep on top of his homework the last few weeks and this has helped- but now I feel like I am spending so much time with him in the evenings, and it is so stressful for our whole family, that I might as WELL be homeschooling him! DH and I approached the idea of "re-homeschooling" him and he wasn't very interested, primariliy because it would mean not seeing his friends very often and not playing tennis with the team (the one thing he really does like about school). We are considering doing it anyway, as I don't think he's learning much in this environment and I hate seeing him so miserable and tired. Without his buy-in, though, I don't know if it's worth it. Have any of you been in this situation of re-homeschooling or of pulling your kid OUT of school mid-year against his or her will? Am I foolish to even think about doing so? [FWIW, the school he's attending is a good one academically (college prep, high test scores) but has little in the way of support services for "alternative learners". Our public school is inner city, riddled with discipline and behavior issues, and is not an option (unless we were to move to a different district).]