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Posts posted by Moonhawk

  1. 1 hour ago, SKL said:

    While I agree that t-shirts regarding this death are in outrageously poor taste, if we want to talk about making money off of gun violence, I think we need to look first at Hollywood and Baldwin specifically.  He was doing what he did for money.  Was it worth it?

    As for saying mean things, Baldwin has said some really mean things to people who never shot anyone, about having blood on their hands and not caring how many dead bodies they have to walk over to get what they want.  This is what is meant by "hypocritical."

    And as we are discussing the crew's past history of mistakes (as we should), Alec Baldwin has a long documented history of acting unhinged.  I heard his crew had just walked off the set in protest before this gun incident happened.  Why is Baldwin's past history of poor behavior not relevant here?

    I mean, hmm. I think there's a lot of jumps here.

    1. He was shooting a movie for money, yes. To say that he is "making money off of gun violence" is technically true, but is implying [to me] that the gun violence is the main thing they are showing/making money from, instead of a part of a larger story or goal. It's like saying Star Wars made money off of (laser)gun violence. I know some movies are based on this, sure, but IDK if this was one of them. And while it certainly wasn't worth a life and no movie is, if she hadn't died and there was no incident, I don't see how a movie that uses guns is intrinsically a bad thing to make money from. As others upthread have mentioned, there can be moving and important lessons in movies that use guns, and I wouldn't say they are "making money off of gun violence."

    2. I think for it to be actually hypocritical, he would have to "have blood on his hands and not care how many dead bodies he had to walk over." But from the photos I've seen of his reaction (when he should have had privacy, I personally think, but anyway), he most certainly does care about the blood on his hands. So not hypocritical.

    Now, if you want to make the argument of, "Don't dish it out if you can't take it," I think that's fair enough. Though I would posit that, just because someone didn't literally pick up the gun, they are still culpable for deaths caused by policies enacted by them, and pointing that out and wanting people held responsible for this is not necessarily something that should be held against them later when they are involved in a tragic accident.

    "You want people held responsible for war crimes but you accidentally shot someone, hypocrite!" I mean, that just doesn't track.

    3. We are discussing the crew's past history of safety issues, and someone being a jerk is not necessarily unsafe. "Acting unhinged" in other ways is irrelevant if he is safe and does not put people in danger (Idk his track record on this, btw). Poor behavior does not mean unsafe behavior. Some people are difficult to work with, that does not mean they are unsafe to work with. 

    The crew walking off is a red herring that you are inferring is because of Baldwin's personal behavior, and that does not seem substantiated at all; they walked off for safety conditions of the set, not because they were scared of him qua person. I have no idea why you brought that up in the same paragraph as if it's proof of his dangerous unhinged behavior.

    FTR, I know little to nothing about Alec Baldwin. I don't have a personal interest in protecting *him*, I just don't see how people are either jumping to conclusions and/or basically gloating that he was the shooter, and then saying he deserves it because of who he is.

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  2. 54 minutes ago, SKL said:

    If I were getting married young, I might decide based on whose last name sounded the coolest.  ??  I mean if my last name was Shitz and his was Gold, ya know? 

    44 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

    Ah the romance of young love when they really believe love means things go from Shitz to Gold. 

    This is where you have to say "we were meant to be", throw away convention, and you both become Mr. and Mrs. Shitz-Gold.

    • Like 1
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  3. I'm actually kinda living this question/decision right now.

    When we married 15 years ago, I didn't know you had to sign the marriage certificate with the new last name for it to be official. No one told me, we didn't realize I wasn't legally Moonhawk DHLastname until at the bank some months later. Then, it was too much hassle to go through the process and we didn't really care either way. I go socially by Mrs. DHLastname especially when taking the kids to activities so our names would match. 

    Fast forward to today. DH has decided he wants to get choose his own last name, part of the healing process and differentiation from his origin family and that whole mess. So, he's put a lot of thought into it, talked to the kids, etc, and after maybe a year of discussion he's settled on a new last name. Which is great, I fully support. Kids are going to have their last name changed too, kind of a "clean slate" deal and to make our own stamp as a family. 

    Except, they all want me to change too, and in the past forever of having my own last name I it's just "me" at this point and I'm happy with it. But the kids have expressed they see this as a family thing, and I'm part of the family. And the new name is fine, it would sound good with my first name and wouldn't be a huge deal to me really. It's just not something I care to change, even if I wouldn't care too much if I did change it. So I've been trying to figure out if I really do have a preference either way, knowing that I'l have to live with this. 

    • Like 6
  4. I think I told this one before, but here's my maiden name story for your enjoyment and my embarrassment! lol

    We were newly married, I was 20 but DH was 24. We were at TJs buying groceries and he had decided to get some beer. At the register, the cashier (older guy) asks to see ID. "Oh, but he's buying." He told me that both of us needed to show ID. I said, "But we're married." And so he asked to see my ID and I showed it and he remarked that I wasn't 21 yet. And I said "But we're married, and it's for him." And he said, "Your names don't match." (I didn't change my last name, story for another time, lol).

    And me, at this point flustered because I'm 20, newly married, and making a scene in a Trader Joes decides to explain, "That's my maiden name." Except that's not what I said. Instead, very loudly I blurt out, "It's my virgin name." 

    At which point the guy just said, "Oh" and rang up the beer.

    DH just says, "Ok...so...ok...."  in an attempt to fill the silence. 

    I didn't go back to that TJ, the closest to our apt, for at least 5 years.

    Anyway, all this to say, I think maiden name is a better term than what it could be, cough cough, lol.

    • Like 4
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  5. On 10/23/2021 at 9:30 AM, Katy said:

    It will be interesting to see if anyone is charged with murder. Blanks don’t travel through someone and injure the person behind them. How did a live round end up in the gun at all?

    There are unconfirmed reports that either the armourer and/or someone on the periphery of the movie (someone not directly involved with the actual movie but local to the area) did pleasure shooting with the gun prior to the day's filming. If that's true that's a huge huge deal. On so many levels. You don't bring real live ammo to a set. You don't put real live ammo into a gun that's supposed to be used in a film. You don't shoot with that gun. And if you do all these things you aren't supposed to do, you DON'T then forget to unload the weapon afterwards.

    I really frankly hope this is not what happened because it's beyond all fathomable sense, but it would explain the amount of damage done; a blank couldn't have pulled that off at much distance, at least as far as I am aware.

    eta: this has been confirmed as of Tuesday 10/26 😞 

    • Sad 17
  6. 7 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

    Before they start filming, I would check it.

    I think regular protocol is that the armourer checks the gun in front of the actor, then hands it to them. This is *after* multiple other checks. I don't see how the standard can really be improved at this point.

    The problem isn't what *should* happen, the problem is what *did* happen. This set and crew (looking not union, not experienced, and underpaid) were where the fails happened.

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  7. I'm also seeing reports that there was a malfunction when he was unholstering the weapon, he hadn't actually aimed/fired when the accident happened. Interested to see if this is confirmed.  (eta crossing out until substantiated or not, to stop false news if it's not true) He was given the gun by the AD, not the armourer, which is weird, but the gun should have been checked 2-3 times before it is even handed to the actor. Regardless of if the actor has gun experience, there are others directly responsible for the state of the gun before it ever reaches their hands, and it is not the actor's responsibility. He was given a tool for his job, and told by the trained professionals it was ready and in good shape to do his job. 

    There are so many [human error] fails that had to happen, and yet there were 3 other accidental misfires on this set that led to others to walk off the job.

    So something systemic, particular to this set, was wrong here. I would not blame an actor, regardless of their name or fame, in this instance. 

    eta to agree with @Acorn, what is called "live" on a set is not what someone at a gun range considers live. It is a blank being loaded on a set at all times, not a literal live round meant to penetrate. Just to be clear since it seems like a confusing thing. 

    • Like 4
  8. 2 hours ago, happi duck said:

    My late dad was in printing/packaging and was always showing us things they printed and what was unique etc.  I still to this day notice packaging from that company!

    Love printing and packaging, we take photos of fun boxes and bags wherever we go! The kids are in osmosis training to look and try to identify fonts on packaging and signs, or if it's set incorrectly, or why this font was chosen, etc. A couple months ago I was unpacking groceries and the kids were helping and then all of a sudden, chaos. There was panicky, "Get Dad! Get Dad!" yells and I didn't know what was wrong and I'm looking around thinking, "Where's the spider?! Is it a scorpion?!" But no, the Cherri-oats box changed its lettering and it was a Threat Level Midnight. lol

    • Haha 8
  9. 10 minutes ago, Bootsie said:

    I woud agree that lead paint policies are related to public health if pubic health is being defined as preventing disease.  In this discussion, it has sounded to me as people are using this term to refer to contagious disease and the public health concerns over one person infecting another person.  I think that OSHA protecting workers from the health risk of lead paint in the work place is reasonable.  I think the starting place for that is much different than "We want to reduce COVID in society, to do that we want people vaccinated, to do that we fine employers if their workers aren't vaccinated".  That is not fining firms for exposure that stems from the workplace.  That would be the same as fining employers for workers who do not eat a healthy diet, who do not exercise, or who do not get enough sleep because there are disease related issue with those worker behaviors.  

    It seems that if OSHA is only allowed, in your view, to deal with making a safe work environment, then this would fall under that.

    Those other scenarios I bolded from your quote seem to be either strawman or false equivalence, since not eating a healthy diet, not exercising, and not getting enough sleep are not contagious and do not put your coworkers in danger. The false equivalence comes in because they can indirectly affect your job performance, but not directly endanger your coworkers. So it's not necessary to address the cause of the lack of performance, just the performance itself. In a contagion situation, however, that IS the danger that needs to be addressed.

    We are not mandating that anyone who works in a certain environment can't go clubbing or eat in a indoor restaurant, which would be a more parallel example to your healthy diet and exercise fining scenario. 

    • Like 6
  10. Wait wait wait. Did I miss something? Everyone here that is against this "mandate" keeps saying it's forcing employees to be vaccinated, "forcing them to put something into their body" etc. But it's vaccinate or weekly test. (I know federal rules/contractors are different, but we are talking about the OSHA requirements so I don't think that's the situation being discussed here)

    That OR keeps getting left out of conversations and when the news first came out I thought it was just unfamiliarity with a new mandate. But at this point, when that "or" gets dropped off, I don't know what to think. Do people think it doesn't matter? Or does it just steal thunder from the objections?

    • Like 14
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  11. Agreeing with others. When you're the one holding everything together, you get to decide what support and help you need, and where you get it from. Do what you gotta do.

    I've been there, and yeah, he doesn't get to dictate/control the household when he is not a currently functioning part of it. It's not dismissal of his place in the family or his feelings at this point, it's survival.  

    You have no need to second-guess or feel guilty for continuing to get help from your extended family and particularly one member of it. I trust your assessment of yourself and the situation, and if your DH was healthy he would too and it would be a non-issue. Your "normal" DH would agree with your decisions that protect and serve the family/kids.

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  12. So, the end result of playing along with the delusion isn't going to be good. Chances are he changes the paranoia to someone/thing else ("Why does it take you so long to do groceries?") that, eventually if you continue the pattern, can't be changed to accommodate. And, a lot of times even if you say, "Nothing is going on but if it makes you feel better I'll do what you ask" will be translated to an admission of guilt. It's a no-win situation for you.

    But, it's a mental illness, and so whatever grace you can use in dealing with it would be better long term for healing. A marriage isn't just this one moment in time, if you stay together your actions (and his) are going to be with you for the life of the relationship. That doesn't mean give in, and you can be truthful that the accusations hurt you and that you haven't done anything to earn these, but try not to escalate this into accusations of him being controlling/abusive that you may regret later, and that will be additional wounds you have to heal from.

    How I'd probably handle in my own relationship, ymmv: If he doesn't want you to be alone with this person that doesn't mean the only option is for you to stop what you're doing and disrupt your support system. Have him change his schedule: he can accompany you and person (if you're comfortable with this), or better yet take over completely whatever thing and give you some breathing room. He can be the one to accommodate his issues, not you. Put the burden on him, you have enough on your plate. It's unfair to ask you to do something he is unwilling to do himself. Mental illness is something we need to have patience with and help as we can, that doesn't mean become the only one working towards the solutions. 

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  13. So a million years ago I was really into t-shirts and *loved* Woot shirts. They were cute, comfy, just everything you'd want in a t-shirt. The prints were usually very good quality. Then life happened, they got bought by Amazon, I had less time online, and I lost track of the shirt derbies and...now it's like 7 years later, lol. So while I can't speak anymore to the shirt quality (still looks they are using a good supplier?) I know they are still popular in the t-shirt community, just don't know what "rank" they'd be now.

    But, they had some seriously cute shirts. You can go look in their literary collection; it's most book pun shirts, but they have some that are writer specific / book generic:

    Never Give A Narwal A Library Card

    Take Flight

    Friends, Romans, aedlrjqaewoif

    Monkey Play

    Imagination Takes Flight

    Books - No electricity Required

    The Sword from the Inkwell

    Deep Sea Reader

    The Pen and the Sword

    There's a ton of shirts, so this is just a sample. 

    eta: a google search tells me they are having some print issues (not all the time but enough for forum posts on their site) but their customer service is still on point. 

    eta again: this is horrible. I thought I was reformed but apparently not, I'm going down the rabbit hole. OMG, look at this candidate for being printed. And this one, so cute! And then just pretty. Send Help!! I don't even look good in t-shirts! lol

    • Like 2
  14. 21 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

    But... whoa is correct.  It's woah that's wrong. 🤪


    I think the emailer was going for "Woe is me" instead (a wholly different incorrect whoa from @Junie's thing, but it seemed too coincidental to not bring up, lol). So I agree with you, whoa all the way. Woah is only appropriate maybe if you are trying to type out a Bill and Ted impression and need sufficient "umph" at the end of your wooooaaaaaah dude. But I wouldn't protest too much if you told me this too was wrong, lol.

    • Like 6
  15. 30 minutes ago, Junie said:

    Oh, and it doesn't bother me anymore when people text me with abbreviations, but if anyone ever spells whoa wrong (woah!) I will be responding in FULL CAPS. 😉

    No joke, I got an email today with "Whoa is me." I'll let you respond for me, lol

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    • Haha 8
  16. 36 minutes ago, mom2scouts said:

    See, this would really annoy me. I've made it quite clear to my kids that I will be using punctuation and if they're offended by periods at the ends of sentences, that's their problem. Also, if I say "Sounds good, Have fun." then I mean it sounds good and I'd like them to have fun. If I was angry I would have told them I was angry and didn't want them to go. Maybe I'm just a crabby old lady, but I don't get calls asking if I'm angry because they know I meant they should go and have fun. I probably am just a crabby old lady because I have no patience for this kind of stuff anymore.

    I think the problem comes up that a lot of people are passive aggressive or sarcastic in person, at least sometimes. And in person they might say they are good with something but they completely expect you to pick up from their tone it's an imposition or not really ok at all (I always think of John Candy's mother in "Only the Lonely" where she always says in her imaginary death scenes, "Oh Danny, I hope you enjoyed your baseball game").

    So when they are texting "Sounds good. Have fun." it's left open to interpretation because in conversation sometimes their words don't match what they mean. Texting norms evolved to be able to read these passive aggressive/sarcastic tones and they are implied with periods. Now, if you have good communication and you usually say what you mean (and your kids know you) then the rules don't need to apply to your specific and individual conversations. But, in the world at large, periods have evolved meanings that have made their use more nuanced in text.  

    At least, that's what I think is happening, lol. 

    • Like 2
  17. I'm still trying to come to terms with a friend who uses ellipses, especially when I say something and they respond "Ok..." and I feel like, "Whoops, overshared, or went too far with that." To me, it reads like are trying to let the conversation fade out of existence, which I let them do, lol. But they also use them for things like, "I have photos from the day at the beach..." which I KNOW they are asking would I like to see them. So, yeah ellipses are confusing between generations. This friend is an older generation, but all of their other texting habits match mine perfectly so the ellipses just throw me for a loop. I have started to mimic the ellipses to them only, "I've got more fudge I could share..." but only to them.

    I've found commas are usually an acceptable replacement for the period. So, "sounds good, have fun" would usually work and doesn't set off alarm bells. That way you can get the delineation of thoughts, but strung together as if you were speaking without a formal ending between each. 

    When I think about periods in texts, I tend to think of it like as if I was reading a telegram (or, at least how I'd imagine a telegram to be read). "Sounds good STOP have fun STOP" where a full stop is implied and gives off a sense of finality.  [Not all the time, but the more formal the voice the more I read it this way] So if I feel like I had a long thought of 6 or 7 lines and I'm done, I do use a period because I'm finished with my novella, lol. then send a text with a smiley or " sound good ?" type of thing after to show I'm not trying to end the conversation.

    Exclamations to me are short-hand for "She said happily!" since they can't hear my tone. "have fun" vs "have fun!" the first may come off as not actually wanting you to have fun, or at best said in a distracted tone. The exclamation means I mean it happily.  In text it doesn't convey shouting, THATS WHAT CAPS ARE FOR. Multiple exclamations don't make it shouting, it is a measurement of the level of the emotion being expressed.

    I don't tend to use emojis as much and prefer the smilies with : and ) instead of the emoticon. I've turned off the replacement features on my phone. Sometimes I delve into emojis but that's only if there is a lot of emotion or we are playing a silly game. In that way I date myself a bit.

    And I don't cap things at the beginning of the text. idk why not, but I usually just cap First Names and that's it.. :)    

    • Like 4
  18. After 11 years, we've decided to close up our music business. We want to focus on our new business more, and now with the new job I can't manage it all. I have 2 weeks' worth of emails I haven't responded to, and that's not to fair to the customers. So, it's time 😞 I'm just procrastinating on sending out the email. It's written, I just haven't copy+pasted into the email program. But I need to do it, I'm not being productive on anything while this is hanging over my head. 

    I think it's difficult because even though it took a (huge) hit with Covid, I know I could get it back up to profitability with effort. But, I just don't have the time or the effort to spare. But it was our first business, it supported us well enough for a long, long time. And frankly, one of the big "compatibility" factors when we were discussing marriage is that I would always be able to work with music even though I could no longer perform.

    I know it's a lot of sunken cost fallacy, too. so much time and effort was put into it, and just when I grew it to a pretty strong point DH wanted to do something else. But it is what it is, and I just need to send the email. 

    But! on the good side, with more time for the new business, I'll be able to grow that even faster, and better. And it's not a service-based business so the upkeep (on my side) won't be as demanding and time-sensitive, and will fit into my schedule easier. I'll be able to work as deep as I want to when I can, but I won't need to stay up late answering emails on nights a kid in the ER to keep a client. And I can keep 2-3 clients on a specialty basis, the bigger project people who only contact once a year, without having to deal with the daily emails and giving out new quotes on projects that are unlikely to go forward.

    So this is a good thing! Is what I keep telling myself. Thanks for listening. 

    • Like 7
  19. On my dad's side, my Grandma became known as "GG" (short for Great-Grandma) once great-grandchildren started being born. Everyone changed over to this name, including her own children, SILs, DILs, etc. I was apparently the only person NOT in the loop on this change (1 of 3 grandchildren not raised in a close area) because at her 90th birthday party her cake said "Happy Birthday GG" and I asked one of my cousins who GG was and they just stared at me and then walked away. From that day on, after my dad quickly whispered in my ear, I called her GG too, lol.

    On my mom's side, my Nana became "Nanasita" to the great grandchildren, but the original grandchildren still called her Nana. My mom became Nana to grandchildren, but all of us daughters still call her Mom. To distinguish in conversation, we'd just say "My nana" or "Your nana" or "Your Nanasita" etc. So, the title changed depending on the personal relationship, but didn't change how other generations called them. 

    On a side note, Sept 29th was GG's birthday (she passed away this summer) and she would have been 100. Today is my Nana's birthday, our 3rd without her, she would have been 99. This has been fun to think about their names, how things are and were and how it will be with the next generation. Life goes on, I think they'd both be happy to know that. 


  20. According to our County health department (your area may be recommending otherwise):

    1. Booster shots are recommended for certain populations if they have certain health conditions or are in certain age groups
      1. Only for those who have received Pfizer
      2. And Meet certain medical needs, including immunocompromised and some underlying medical conditions
      3. 6+ months after their primary series has been completed
    2. 3-dose schedule is now standard of care for immunocompromised individuals getting the vaccine for the first time (I do not see any brand-specific information on this)
    3. Moderna or J&J vaccinated people do not need booster shots and it is currently not approved
    4. Mixing and matching of vaccines is not approved


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