secular_mom
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Posts posted by secular_mom
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nevermind, I just saw the last post so sharing my opinion is REALLY not necessary at this point. :)
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Oh my, I missed your news (I've been sporadically reading between bouts of packing and painting and all the other everyday stuff). Congratulations! What month are you due? I hope all goes well and that for some freak reason this delivery will set your body back to 'normal' and you don't have ANY more pain EVER. :)
Sorry you are still dealing with MIL crap constantly. What the world needs now is a giant Mr. Clean Magic Crap Eraser :)
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I drive an automatic and a manual, so: when driving the automatic I usually wear shoes and I drive only with my right foot- I hardly ever use cruise control because I don't drive on long trips in my 'truck'.
when driving the stick I am usually barefoot and obviously use both feet, when using cruise control my foot isn't on the pedal and I don't keep my left foot on the clutch either (whether using cruise control or not).
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well, I must gently tell you that I disagree with you 100%. Nobody will EVER get me to believe I set my dd up and then *made* her lie. SOrry, this is completely ridiculous.
That's fine. You know, it seems to me that all the threads you've started that I have read have you asking for opinions and advice, and people try to give that to you respectfully. Maybe with terminology you don't like or don't want to hear, maybe a viewpoint you find offensive in and of itself. We don't live in your home with you, we don't know anything about your life or your situations except what you tell us. You ALWAYS use LOTS OF CAPS when you are responding to points that YOU DON'T SEEM TO LIKE AT ALL, and you ALWAYS make a point of REPLYING AND QUOTING POSTS just to say that you find them absurd and you WILL NOT RESPOND. :001_huh: If you don't want to hear different PsOV about your situations, and you do NOT WANT ADVICE then STOP ASKING FOR IT. It's terribly rude of you to ask for input and then say that everyone you disagree with simply CANNOT UNDERSTAND your situation and OBVIOUSLY does NOT UNDERSTAND what you were TRYING to convey in your OP and subsequent posts in your threads. If you DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO RESPOND then WHY POST??????? (all the caps are meant slightly as emphasis but mostly as tongue in cheek cheekyness, that is meant to make my point in a friendly banter sort of way, I don't know how else to convey that except for writing this disclaimer ;))
Honestly, your disagreeing with me does not bother me in the least. I do want to point out that I did not say that you 'made' your daughter lie. I asked you WHY you asked her IF she did something that YOU KNEW she did in the first place? WHAT WAS THE POINT in ASKING that QUESTION?
YOU DON'T seem to answer questions you don't like. *shrugs* That's fine, no one is FORCING you to do so. We're just trying to have a CONVERSATION here.
I don't know why I came back to this thread. I think I'll do you a favor and never reply to your posts again. I mean you no disrespect, and I'm sure no one else in this thread did either. :grouphug: I just think it's obvious that you always know the answer, or you always figure it out on your own anyway so I won't bother answering any more of your questions from now on. Peace, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.
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:confused:Is it really that unreasonable to expect an 11 year old not to sneak candy that she will be having later anyway? :confused:when and where did I imply that expecting her not to sneak the candy was unreasonable? Since you asked, for MY kids, yes that would be an unreasonable expectation but MY kids have some 'issues' which I don't care to discuss here. I have no idea if the OP's kids have any issues that would make such an expectation unreasonable. I don't get where your question to me is coming from. I was addressing what *I* think is an unreasonable expectation of expecting the child not to lie to avoid being in trouble.
I don't know why I bother posting here really. I wish the OP the best of luck in future dealings with her DC. I'm out of here- have fun.
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but I'm sticking to my guns.
Dd11 is a BLESSING of a child to have. She does have this issue, though, where lies don't seem to be much of a problem for her lately. If there's ONE thing I can't STAND- it's a liar. She *KNOWS* this. I don't care whether it's a big lie or a small one, a lie is a lie is a lie is a lie and I *HATE* all lies with a passion!
I'm taking dd to PA for a synchro swim competition in PA, 8 hour drive to get there, two nights lodging. It's NOT going to be cheap and it's a lot of work on me. We planned our menu together and are having GREAT food on the way down: Large shrimp, sliced red and green bell peppers, cukes, baby carrots, favorite dressing as a dip, sourdough bread, bagels, lox, cream cheese w/chives, cherries, watermelon. I bought some Everlasting Gobstoppers, bubble gum, and sesame seed/honey candies for treats. Dd has a HUGE sweet tooth and we mostly let her satisfy her cravings by having fruits daily and fairly regular ice cream treats.
Well, I could smell that she got into the sesame seed candy while I was pumping gas. I asked her if she had some and she said that she hadn't. I knew it was a lie and it set me off. I was running errands ALL DAY to prepare for her trip and this just set me off!!!!!!!!! I got so angry at her that I told her that she would have NO fruit or candy AT ALL on the trip. It's not that she had the candy without permission that bothered me so much, it was that she lied about it. I do believe I over reacted but really, I just HATE a liar! Can you get my drift? I wish I had told her NO CANDY AT ALL, but I added in the fruit because of the sweetness.
So now I'm going to stick to it no matter what. I told her no fruit or candy so that's what it will be. I've been dealing with a HUGE guilt trip ever since. If there's one thing I will discipline too harshly for, it will be lying. I do it in the moment because I just have such an issue with it.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. I'm not going to change this now, but honestly....... do you think I over reacted? I kind of wish I had given her SOME fruit but no candy, but I'm sticking to my guns this time.
I haven't read the other replies but here's my take. I think you set her up in the first place, you already KNEW she had gotten into the candy, and you've already said that wasn't a big deal to you. Why the heck did you ask her if she had? You already knew the answer, so were you 'testing' her to see if she would tell the truth or lie? I think you overreacted to the eating of the candy (by setting her up to lie) and also about the lying (which you set her up to do). You do NOT have to stick to the punishment you've chosen, there is still a choice to make here. You can apologize for setting her up and for overreacting and then decide where to go from there. Or you can choose to stay where you are (punishing child for your mistake, IMO) or something else entirely. :grouphug: We all mess up now and then, and it's very humbling to apologize to a child and admit our mistakes. I would be working on myself, honestly- trying to train myself to not ask such questions in the future. In such situations it is always better to say, "I see/smell that you've had some of the sesame seed candy. I bought that for our trip so let's make sure we put it away and save it for the trip, okay?".
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My standard stain remover for hard surfaces is either baking soda rubbed on with a damp cloth (lots of elbow grease) or the same method using Bon Ami.
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I think I would, and I would see if I could find a spot for a wardrobe near the entrance area to put the coats and shoes in, or at least a coat rack and one of those benches that opens up and you can store shoes underneath the seat (KWIM?). Then again, if space is premium and I was already accustomed to showering in the small space I'd probably end up saying leave well enough alone.
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Touche. Yes, you CAN, but it'd be a logical fallacy, no?
Just as if I hypothetically generalized that all parents who don't allow sleepovers must be uptight and paranoid. I certainly CAN make that generalization, but clearly that isn't really the case. Some cases, perhaps, but not all... :tongue_smilie:
:D
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If you don't want to do them, eh, your prerogative as a parent but you can't just generalize all sleepovers as these horrible things where bad things are lurking around every corner.
Actually, one CAN generalize them in such a manner. That is one's prerogative. ;)
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you can't take away a thumb or fingers. you can throw away a pacifier. of course, my thumb sucker and fingers sucker wouldn't take a pacifier ever, so it wasn't really any sort of choice.
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What if it was a different situation?
Then it would be a different situation. :)
I don't allow my kids to ride with other people, and we don't do sleepovers. Gosh, with four kids every night is a sleepover :lol:
Some people make decisions that others disagree with, and sometimes that changes relationships or prevents any relationship from forming and that's okay. I don't go to church, cause I'm an atheist and I'm not interested. That's okay. I invite the neighbor kids to play at our house, but do NOT allow my kids to play in the neighbors houses and that's okay. If the neighbors don't like it they sure haven't complained. It's really hard to separate the three youngest though, and it's just easier for everyone if the other kids come here. Plus the behavior of the neighborhood kids here is... questionable... if they aren't supervised (harassing wildlife, harassing pets, constant lying (my quirky kid can't always tell if someone is lying so it's nice to be able to hear what's being said and butt in when that's happening), and just plain bullying each other.
They don't HAVE to come here, and their parents don't HAVE to allow them to come here. The 'other' mom in the OP may decide to stop allowing her dd to spend the night with Nakia's dd. I don't think Nakia will be crushed by such a decision. I don't see rational adults deciding to end their child's friendship over such a small detail (no sleepovers at other people's homes).
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That's what I thought at first... but I can't think of a way to balance it narrow side down in the pan while I'm pouring the batter in & IDK if it would stay "standing." If I set it on the flat part in the pan, removing it without marring the cake is going to be pretty impossible.
Yeh, that would be a mess. I would just go out and buy some more (more than one) so I have backups in the future. :)
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I know I have a flower nail somewhere... I usually put it in the middle of the pan when I'm making a half sheet cake so it bakes evenly. I can't find it to save my life right now. Would a cookie cutter work in the middle of the pan, or does anyone have a suggestion as to what I could put in there to conduct heat?
I have no suggestions but thanks for the great idea. Could you put a decorating tip in it instead? I don't know what the nails are made of, I was thinking they are the same as the tips
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It is a trust issue. It is a safety issue. It is a control issue. And I'm okay with that. :001_smile:
Good for you! Stick to your guns, and don't feel like you 'have' to stop having sleepovers at your place because other people here said you should. That's poppycock.
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I wouldn't even call this a double standard. There's nothing wrong with letting the child stay at your house and not letting yours sleep over there. It's Nakia's standard. She doesn't owe the other mom any explanation, justification or whatevercation. It's her kid. Her rules. Her business.
If the other mother wants to get her panties in a wad over it that's her problem. Just tell her to stop making it the children's problem.
We only did sleepovers with one other family. One. Period.
:iagree::iagree:
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I've had that happen before, and it happens to my parents ALL the time.
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I would just not have the girl in my house any more.
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Get a yahoo account and join your local freecycle group (freecycle.org), if you don't have one then go to craig's list. Offer the bags of give away items as you bag them up, that will get those items out of your way without having to wait till Friday, and it will save you gas too.
If you post on the free section of Craig's List, click the box to HIDE your email address, not just make it anonymous, and put your email address in the message like this: me at serviceprovider dot com so that you don't get spammed. Seriously, I'm sure you stuff will go quickly if you post it at either (or even both) sites.
Just post that you have "misc. clothing items available, please take all and pass on what you don't need".
Hope this helps.
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I used them and liked them, but my husband complained that they didn't remove the odors from his workout clothes so we just stopped using them.
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Instant Watcher lets you have multiple queues and have the ability to shift then in and out of your netflix queue. This "premium" service is $10 per year (otherwise Instant Watcher is free), but is much easier to use than the tools from Netflix.
Does this service work if we are watching on a PS3?
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Well, most will learn after being miserable 100 times over that it's not worth being miserable. Putting the miserable in his court and removing yourself from the drama is great thing, in my mind.
Dr. Phil says that people do what works for them. If he's wallowing in misery enough times, he'll probably quit eventually. The rest of you have a grand ol' time in the rest of the house.
It make take 100 repetitions for him every night in a row, but kids do learn.
:001_huh: Or it will cause resentment to build up and things will continue as they are or more likely get worse. All people are not cut from the same cloth, and what works for some will never work for others.
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Would you call them out on it?
I guess it seems like one thing to think someone is a liar/troll or a bad person/parent and another to single them out.
I tell IRL people all the time that what they are saying sounds like B.S., and you know what? They may deny it at the time, but later they usually admit to me that I was right on calling B.S.
I've had to tell people to get a grip and point out what should be their priority- sometimes when they are just stressed from normal stuff, sometimes when they are excited and/or upset dealing with something big.
So, yes, *I* would call them out on it.
I don't get how this thread is supposed to be any 'better' than a troll hunting thread- it's calling out people who have posted certain things on this forum. Pot, meet kettle. ;)
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Diet Dr. Pepper
Need some help/thoughts on a sticking point in our budget
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Well, the gist of what I said was that person A needs to understand that their obligations to their spouse and children outweigh any obligations to their mother (who is an adult and presumably is not financially dependent on person A or their family). The happiness and and financial needs of the spouse and children should come first.