I can really see both sides of this -- protecting privacy versus providing information. Both are valuable. I tend to fiercely guard privacy. I don't do Facebook. I have never posted a single picture of my children online. I have never mentioned their names online. I have not shared my children's diagnoses with many people, including most family members. I do not allow my teenage daughter to use Instagram or other social media other than texting her friends. Most people today would consider me overly vigilant about privacy. But I'm willing to share information with the schools about my children's disabilities. Why? Because I think it will help the teachers as they help my children learn. I want my children to have the very best opportunity to reach their potential, and that means partnering with their teachers in the fullest possible way. At this point, it means that we are providing them with basic information and not the full reports. But as we move through the IEP process, we will likely give them a lot more information. Because we want the best, most informed help for our children.

More great ideas! Thank you! I've got the Franklin speller on the list of things to ask the NP about, as well as a calculator. I don't want to abandon the idea of DD memorizing her math facts, but I have been allowing her to sometimes use a multiplication chart and a 100 chart at home, because the calculations take so long for her. I've always thought she is good at math concepts despite the calculation problems, but she has started to struggle more over this last year. I think maybe the memory problems are starting to impact her ability to move forward conceptually, because she gets bogged down trying to think about too many things at one time. OneStep, whenever you write about your children's experiences in school, I just shudder. You are such a blessing to them in your willingness to homeschool them, because that school was terrible!

Thank you. This is all very helpful, since this will be our first time experiencing a school classroom; we have always homeschooled. Before officially inviting us to enroll, they will give the children some placement tests, and I think at that point we will find out more about what interventions they will be willing to begin working on right from the start. One of the reasons we selected this school is because they will start giving additional help right away, whereas the public school said they would do nothing extra until an IEP is place :glare: . So I want to know what to ask for when we have that placement meeting. They do have on staff an intervention specialist with OG training who previously has worked at the highly regarded local dyslexia school, so I will push hard to have DD10 work with her as much as possible. If DD10 does not get a dyslexia diagnosis on Wednesday, I will be shocked (but I've been shocked before, so we'll see!). I figure if I can tell the school that the NP says DD10 needs XYZ, they may be more likely to consider it than if it is just my opinion. I know that once we have the IEPs in place we may be able to get some additional services that we won't have access to before that. But our neighbors' children have received so much help at this school that the parents thought that their pre-IEP interventions were just as thorough and helpful as the plans provided for by the IEP -- they have been very impressed by the lengths that the school is willing to go to help the students. I'm hoping that will prove true for us as well. I'm also suspecting dyscalculia and probably dsygraphia for DD10. If someone had told me when DD10 was six that she may have dysgraphia, I would have laughed. Back then she had absolutely perfect letter formation (though she always had reversals and terrible spelling); I remember thinking that she could win a penmanship competition. But since then her handwriting has gotten worse and worse until it is now chicken scratch. I suspect she may have been drawing the letters back then -- it was mostly copywork -- - and that once she started writing words instead of copying that things changed. DS11 does not have dyslexia but has dysgraphia and dyspraxia. In his case, he may or may not be able to copy things from the board. His issue is getting his own thoughts down on paper, so copying information may be okay for him. Then again, he's likely to struggle with it due to executive function issues and just falling behind because it takes longer. And taking notes while the teacher speaks verbally is iffy. I'm not sure how much note taking this school will expect at this age but will bring it up. I have a whole list of recommended things for DS in his NP report, so I have a starting place for him. DD is a little trickier, because at the time that I have to start talking it over with the school, I won't have a written report for her yet. Thank you for the ideas about remediation versus accommodation and for making sure that the interventions are primarily designed to help them learn and not just help them be in class. That is a good and important distinction.

We have our appointment to get the results from DD10's NP evaluations on Wednesday, and I'm trying to make a list of questions ahead of time. We are also in the process of enrolling in school for the fall, so I'm interested particularly in what kind of accommodations are common in the classroom. There was a recent thread about dyslexia accommodations, but it was geared mainly toward what can be done while homeschooling. I know the NP will give us suggestions, but I'd like to know some specific things that I can ask him about. For example, what about taking notes from the board while the teacher is lecturing? My kids will be in 4th and 5th grades. Would a teacher provide them a copy of her own notes? Would an aide scribe for them? I know that they could request to be able to type in class, but they are not able to type yet (working on that), so classroom typing won't help in the short term. What is an age-appropriate way to address the note-taking issue? I'm thinking that I can ask for them to be able to type using text-to-speech software for writing they do at home, but I don't see how that would work in the classroom. They can't sit at their desk talking to their device while they other children are writing quietly. Or can they? Do children with diagnosed dyslexia have to take graded spelling tests? Can they do the spelling activities but not be graded? We know that the school we are applying to has good intervention services, but I want to have a better idea about what to ask for (and yes, we will be requesting evaluations for IEPs, but they will start doing intervention before that is all finished).

I'm curious about this. What employers would be able to gain access to a full school file? Moxie, we are preparing to enroll our children in private school this fall, and we are compiling information for evaluations and eventual IEPs. At this point we have only submitted our application, so the school may ask for more, but this is what we did: for each child that has a learning challenge, I wrote a letter explaining their disabilities and how it affects their performance as a student. In our case, we will be requesting accommodations and evaluations immediately, and I wanted to be upfront with the administration during the application process. I did give copies of this year's standardized report scores, which are revealing. I did not give copies of the neuropsych reports. DS's report is 20 pages and contains a ton of unnecessary and personal background information. If they request his report, I will only give them the pages that list the diagnoses and suggested accommodations. We did not get the kind of one-age summary that you did, but if we had, I probably would submit that instead of the whole report. Once we are in the process of getting IEPs, I will give them the part of the NP report that lists all of the tests performed and the scores. I don't fear labels. I think they are empowering.

We are having our meeting to hear the NP evaluation results for DD10 on Wednesday, so we are also experiencing the anticipation and anxiety about finally hearing a diagnosis. Until today we thought DH would be able to come, but we now have a conflict, and I will need to fill him in later. It's hard to formulate questions ahead of time when you don't know what information you will be hearing, but I'm going to go in with a list. Even though we got a very thorough report when we went through this last year for our son, I find I still refer back to my handwritten notes from that meeting from time to time, because there was some verbal information that was not in the written report. I'm a good note-taker, but recording is a good idea. I will say that last year we went into the meeting feeling hopeful that we would finally have answers to things we had been wondering about for years, and we came out of the meeting with those answers but also with a whole new set of questions, because we learned some things we were not expecting. It was overwhelming emotionally. I hope your husband is able to talk with you right after the meeting, even if he can't be there, so that you don't have to deal with all of the new information alone. :cheers2: A toast to having some answers! It's a good step, even when it's a hard one. I hope it goes well for you.

Bianca, if you plan to have your son take the SATs or other standardized tests in high school, and you think he will need accommodations, you will need to show a documented history of need over a long period of time, so having official evaluations and getting them done sooner rather than later might be a good idea. I will say that I have never been a completely die-hard classical homeschooler but have always been more eclectic. I did start out with some classical things for my oldest that I realized would never work for my younger children, who have some learning challenges. For example, the grammar stage is so tied to memorization, but memorization is a weakness for them, so spending all of our time with that method daily would have been a disaster. I chose things to use with my youngest three that I thought would work for them and didn't worry about whether the materials fit into a classical definition or not. I think that you could accomplish your stated goals without using classical curriculum. I also think that you could find some classical materials that would be a good fit for your son. But I suspect that trying to fit him into the WTM framework, given the struggles that you say that he has, might do him a disservice and would probably be frustrating for you as his teacher as well. It sounds like he has been struggling for a long time. I think if you find the root reasons for the challenges that you will be better able to educate him through his remaining years of school. I think if you head into high school without a plan that is designed to both play to his strengths and remediate his weaknesses that he is going to dislike learning. Which is not your goal at all, I know. It's hard to figure out what to do.

I think families have different reasons for having their children heavily involved in outside activities. Having something to put on their college application may be a factor for some, but it may not figure at all into other families' choices. My kids are very busy in different activities for a variety of reasons that are meaningful for them, for example, and none of the reasons have anything to do with college apps. As far as the article is concerned, I only read half of it. It's not a new argument.

CLE level 500 is rigorous, and CLE 600 is just plain hard. Interestingly, DD13 has found 700 to be easier to get through than 600. There are some tricky bits in 600 where the student has to do multiple steps while marking sentences (underline the noun once and the verb twice; put parentheses around the appositive and draw an arrow to the word it modifies; add punctuation where needed and circle letters that need to be capitalized, etc. etc.). All on one sentence. And there are multiple sentences of this type in each lesson. It is very difficult to accomplish the work without overlooking things or mixing up what you are supposed to do. It is even difficult to grade those sentences. It is the one thing I don't like about the CLE program at this level. (Except that the writing isn't strong enough; I don't like that, either, but we supplement, as I see you would, too). They really could work on this material in a more approachable way. We got through it and came out the other side, but I would not recommend skipping ahead a level. Go with what the placement test says. You can tell your son that it is much harder than what fifth graders do in school (which is true). CLE is a great program, but if it is too hard for him, your son will hate it, which will be a bigger problem than having him work a level down.

I agree that you may only figure out his root issues by seeking professional evaluations. You can start by asking the local school to evaluate him (free, but they don't officially diagnose dyslexia and may not have the tools or expertise to figure out a complicated situation) or go to a neuropsychologist (pricey, but able to tease through the complex cases) or some other educational testing facility (I know these exist but have not explored the option. The cost would likely be less than a NP). To reduce costs, you can also get some answers through the school first, then take those test results to a NP or educational consultant for review and additional testing. If you decide to test, you might ask for screenings for ADHD. Some children have the inattention type, so they may still have ADHD even if they don't have the hyperactive or impulsive type. Inattention issues could be contributing to his issues, so I'd ask them to screen for it, even if you doubt that he has it. (We've found from experience that some diagnoses come as a surprise, so I wouldn't rule anything out.)

DD writes an L in the left shoe and an R in the right shoe. She doesn't switch her shoes from foot to foot. One tip that I haven't mentioned is that it is recommended to let pointe shoes dry out completely before wearing them again. The recommended tine that we go by is two days. If someone has to be en pointe two days in a row, having two pairs of shoes to alternate will make the shoes last longer.

I can see how that might happen. But it didn't, because we never told the coach which boy has been causing the problem.

I planned to use this kind of approach. Delving into literature with my children was one of the things that I was looking to most about homeschooling -- I have a degree in English and a master's degree in children's literature, so exploring books has always been central to what we do at our house. Books are my thing. But it hasn't worked for my children. I realized that they needed something more, and that my vision wasn't working. They don't pick up themes and literary devices on their own, and some of them struggle with comprehension and inference. I've started using CLE Reading with them, and it has been good for them, because they teach these skills in an organized and structured way, which is what they require. (Some of my children do have learning challenges, which is not the case for everyone, of course.) I just wanted to mention that as much as someone might absolutely be passionate about educating their children with this kind of book-centered approach -- which Sonlight advocates -- that it won't necessarily follow that it will be be the best way for their children to learn. I do have to say that CLE Reading might be difficult for someone who jumps in at a higher level, because it builds upon previously learned skills. Don't be afraid to go back a level if necessary.

I agree that the test scores aren't bad. To give it a little perspective (because it's hard to have that when we are only dealing with our own children), I have two average learners and two children with LDs. My average learners have middle of the road test scores like what you mention. I would have like them to be higher, but since they are not advanced learners, I was not surprised. The scores for my children with LDs, however, were much lower.

Thanks for the show suggestions, Garga! My kids are into those tween shows right now, so that is a good idea. I'll check them out.

I dislike all of it, but I'd rather clean than declutter. Cleaning is not fun, but the clutter actually causes me anxiety and makes me feel overwhelmed.

I'm glad you're back. These issues can definitely bring up emotions! It sounds like you have made a lot of discoveries and decisions in just a short time. Are you still going forward with getting the IEP through the public schools? Since you have already started the process, I vote for continuing. If you look back through old posts, you will find a lot about ADHD meds. DS has ADHD, and he has been on meds for a little over a year now. We were definitely not sure about doing it, but we are now so glad that we did. Working on helping the ADHD has not only enabled him to focus more on his schoolwork and everyday habits, but it has also made him easier to live with, so there has been an improvement for our overall family. One thing I would suggest is to make an appointment with your pediatrician to discuss the NP test results and what to do about the ADHD. Some pediatricians are very good at managing the meds themselves, while others prefer to refer to a psychiatrist. Our pediatrician gave us a little caution about psychiatrists, saying that they tend to prescribe meds as a matter of course but don't always explore all the other available options. We did consult with a psychiatrist, but we also had input from our pediatrician and a psychologist DS was seeing. All three of them did screenings. All three of them diagnosed ADHD. We decided to have the pediatrician do the prescribing, because he took a more holistic approach than the psychiatrist. All that to say, see what your pediatrician recommends regarding the ADHD. Hopefully they will be able to help you sort things out.

We are planning enroll the three youngest in school this fall, but we are waiting to hear if their applications were accepted, so nothing is certain yet. We do have a specialized school for autism and a specialized school for dyslexia nearby, but we have decided that it is best for our family overall for this year that the children all go to the same school if possible. So we selected a private Christian school that has intervention services and will work with us to get IEPs for the children. I'm not convinced that it will be the final solution for us -- we may find that we need to move to a different level of intervention at specialized schools for subsequent years, but it is a starting point. In our family we have two children with LDs and two average students who need a lot of coaching from me, one of whom resists being taught by me. There is just not enough of me to go around. I haven't been able to give each of them as much help as I think they need, and to be honest, the resistant student often derails things for everyone. So even though it has been a terribly difficult decision, we've decided to turn to the schools for help. Whether they help they can give will make things better remains to be seen. I'm still expecting to have to do a lot of work with them, but I need to not be 100% responsible for all of it. That will make a difference for ME, and having ME in a better place will make me better able to help them.

Good thoughts, Lecka! I think that when the first conversation turned to negatives about my son (said nicely, but still), I just listened and didn't turn it back around and say, "I can see that DS can be part of the problem, but let's talk about the whole picture now. He is not the only one involved in this, and the solution needs to include everyone, so that all parts of it are addressed." I think the fact that I listened willingly the first time and said that I would work with DS on the issues at home might actually have set a good tone for this next meeting, because I didn't come across as angry or defensive or even upset. I just listened. Where I need to step up is in the advocating bit of it, because I tend to want to be nonconfrontational, and so does DH. I think the two of us need to make a list of talking points before we go in, to make sure that we end up expressing all of our thoughts and not just sit there listening to the coach's point of view. That's one of the reasons that I think we need to go to the meeting together. I'm more likely to speak my mind if I know someone else in the room agrees with me. DH and the coach played phone tag yesterday. When he manages to talk to the coach on the phone today, DH is going to explain briefly what happened this time but say that we want to schedule a meeting so that we can all discuss it together. The gym is having a break next week, so it will be either a good time to get this figured out before classes start again, or it could be extra hard to schedule a meeting if the coach is going to be out of town.

Yes. Try this. And if the issue is that she is not pulling the pants down far enough, you can stay in the bathroom with her to help with that. When I started going into the bathroom with my mother, I discovered that she was trying to adapt and help herself in some ways that were actually not good. The doctor also was willing to try some meds for anxiety for my mother, because she had high levels of anxiety. They worked very well for her. If you think anxiety is an issue, I'd be sure to bring it up at her next appointment. I know this is hard to manage while also taking care of your daughter and home.

Really, the diapers won't affect her mobility. She may not notice the difference and can continue to use the bathroom as normally as possible. The diapers are just protection for when she doesn't make it in time.

I would start with adult diapers, which are a lot like pull-ups. Or you can get a pad style that will stick inside her regular underwear. To be honest, it sounds like she needs more constant supervision, however you would work that out. My mother had Alzheimer's and lived with me for a time, and she was with me 100% of her waking hours, either right in the same room with me or where I could see her. It was a significant strain on me, but it is what she needed. I would go into the bathroom with her. If she objected, I would allow her to go in first, then I would quickly knock and enter, saying, "Don't mind me; I just need to wash my hands," and then I would stay to oversee what was going on. Not fun for any of us, but necessary. Your MIL is likely to need increasing amounts of help, and she may be resistant to it. With my mom, I had to kind of treat her as a child. What I mean is that I would do what was best for her, even if it was not what she wanted. It's a hard spot to be in, parenting your parent.

This is really an excellent perspective. We will try to bring this idea into our own problem.

Thank you, texasmama, for sharing your son's story. It's good to see that these things can be worked out sometimes, even if it takes purposeful intervention. In the beginning I thought that we might be able to kind of coach DS through how to operate in this group, but I think it is obvious now that he needs adults to help him. Hopefully the coach will be willing to step up when we bring this to his attention for the second time.

Lecka, thank you for all of that. It definitely gives us some new ideas about how to approach the conversation that we need to have. I think I will have DH read your ideas before he talks to the coach on the phone. Maybe on the phone he should just tell the coach what happened and say that we'd like to schedule a meeting to go over things more fully. That way DH and I can both contribute to the conversation in person. I think involving the owner would probably be a good idea -- the owner used to coach the boys' team himself, so he may be able to give the current coach some ideas about providing more structure and support. I can see that they might want to talk about DS's behavior and how he may not be fitting in as well as they'd like, because that is the response I got the first time I brought this up. I agree that DS may very well be contributing to the problem. During that initial conversation, I appreciated hearing about some of the issues, explained some things about DS, and said that we would work on helping him understand appropriate behaviors. The coach did say that if one particular adversary were involved, he would be willing to sit that boy down and explain that DS needed some extra understanding because of his disability (I didn't say that we wanted that at that point). I guess it is notable that the coach offered to kind of explain DS to the other boy, but he did not say that he would tell the other boy that his behavior was inappropriate. I sensed that he thought DS was bringing it on himself. Maybe I should have them write something up for the anecdotal reports I plan to turn into the school when we go through the IEP process. Or I can write up some notes from our meeting and ask them to read and sign them.