DS18 got his notice of acceptance to his first choice school today. He does still have to do an audition to be admitted to the music program (for guitar), but he is planning to double major in music technology, as well, so he can go there, even if he doesn't get accepted into the music department (I think he will, but we will see). He only completed that one application, because there are limited schools that offered the combo of programs that he wants. There are a couple of others that he could apply to, but I think he might be One and Done.

Not to mention that our vocational school is competitive to get into. People often get turned away from programs. DS was not a good candidate for the skilled trades due to the nature of his disabilities, and he had no aptitude or interest in most of the other areas. He did apply to one career center program but was rejected.

I don't want to derail the thread. If @prairiewindmomma prefers, I could open a new thread. But I'd be interested to hear from people whose adult kids living at home are NOT easy to get along with, and who do not willingly help with tasks at home. Our new high school graduate has ASD and ODD and will take extra super long to be ready to launch into independent life. But living with him is not easy. If you have a kid like this, what boundaries and guidelines do you have in place?

I am in the same state, @SKL. One of my kids, who had an IEP, was given exemptions for some of the requirements, because he could not meet them (was in special education math, for example, and could not master even algebra). But there were no exemptions allowed by the state for those seals, and he was at risk of not earning one that was necessary for graduation. It was extremely anxiety producing, to the point of almost traumatic, for us as parents to deal with this for four years. Meanwhile, DS did not care about a diploma and didn't understand its value (he has autism), so the burden of the situation rested mostly on my shoulders. His IEP and unwanted help with homework -- and constant advocacy on his behalf for the school to follow his IEP (including thousands we paid to an advocate) -- from us as parents got him through in the end, but he graduated by a hair. I could go on, but you all wouldn't benefit from hearing me vent more, since each state's rules are different, and my son's situation was very specific to him.

I have three teens and one in her twenties, and one part of our decision would be the driving ability of the teen. For our teens, I think we would only be comfortable allowing one of them, who is an exceptionally good driver and good decision maker. The other two are iffy on both accounts. I am generally more conservative about my teens driving, in general. In your situation, I do think that I would ride along with her during the first trip, even though I would not want to take the time to do so. I would have her drive all of the way to the boyfriends' house, drop her off, then see for myself what the neighborhood and surrounding area is like, with the idea of building my own comfort level. Depending on the length of the planned visit, I would either drive back home and ask the boyfriend or his family to meet halfway to get her back home, or I would stay in a nearby hotel and then let her drive us both back home. Assuming that I felt very comfortable about the teen's driving ability (not just for this trip, but in general as well), after that, I would decide about what would be allowed for future trips.

Yes, in our state, for example, students must pass at least algebra 2 to graduate and also pass end of course exams in certain subject. My son's academic skills are around the middle school level, so of course he could not achieve this. But he had an IEP in public school and was exempt from some of the requirements (it was still stressful for us to get him through to graduation). Other states may have an alternate or special needs diploma. There are various things that schools can do that are sanctioned by the state governments to help struggling students with LDs. I simultaneously believe that schools should hold students to high school-level standards for diplomas AND am extremely grateful that DS was able to get a diploma.

If anyone has thought of getting an Aerogarden, now is the time. I'm only looking for seed pods but noticed that the Aerogardens are at an amazing 70% off -- $49 instead of $164,

Check out books by Amor Towles. I recommend The Lincoln Highway, but A Gentleman in Moscow is also great.

I wonder if you could glean some information about her learning issues by reexamining the psych report. Sometimes people will post scores on the LC board (you can erase later) and people with experience understanding the scores can offer some insight. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that if you look at her WISC scores, you will see a discrepancy that might explain her math difficulty -- higher VCI score (verbal reasoning) and lower VSI (visual spatial). I predict it's lower by 20 points or more. I would also consider whether the fluid reasoning, working memory, and processing speed scores may be having an impact. There is a learning disability called Nonverbal Learning Disability that is not in the DSM5, so some psychologists will not diagnose it or even mention it to people, but NVLD can have that split that you describe, where someone has high verbal ability but low math ability. I would also encourage you to have her retested for free by your local public school district. NVLD is notorious for kind of hiding during the earlier academic years but becoming obvious when the student has trouble at the high school level. I encourage you to read online about NVLD to see if it rings any bells for you. People who have NVLD are also often on the autism spectrum or kissing the autism spectrum, so social skills can be an issue (my son first got a NVLD diagnosis at age 10 and didn't get his autism diagnosis until age 15). Girls are often underdiagnosed with autism. as well. Also, girls can be hard to diagnose with ADHD. We had to try several times for a diagnosis for our daughter, because teachers did not indicate enough issues in class -- until 9th grade. Complex kids often need multiple rounds of evaluations, sad to say. The good news is that public school testing is free, and operating at a 5th/6th grade level of math in 10th grade should qualify her for an evaluation -- they are legally required to test anyone when a LD is suspected.

I'm sorry. We had to pull and prod one of our kids through high school to get to graduation. It was extremely stressful. I'm not going to recount what we all went through here, but I'll just say that I can commiserate with your situation. My kid could not learn algebra and was in special education for math. You said the vocational programs in your are are limited. Have you looked at the website of the vocational school that students in your district go to? In the past, our choices were the ones you listed. Now, the vocational schools around our area offer a wide spectrum of career-prep programs, including things like graphic design, which are more appealing for artistic types. Has she been tested for learning disabilities by the school district?

I have read every night before bed for my entire life. But now I go to bed too late and don't get much read before I need to sleep. I also read when I'm eating alone (breakfast and usually lunch). But I get most of my reading done via audiobooks, while I do other tasks -- cleaning, laundry, driving, walking the dog, exercising, cooking. Basically all through the day, on days that I'm not at work. I started this about two years ago and found that I increased the amount that I am reading exponentially. I listen at 2x the speed, usually, so I can zip through audiobooks a lot faster than I can read a traditional book. I get my audiobooks from the library, using the Libby app.

E-pock

A Long Way from Chicago by Richard Peck is hilarious. The young characters visit their grandmother each summer, and each summer's adventure is one chapter. I think there are about 8 chapters. It's set during the Great Depression.

It was very illuminating for me to listen to, as well. I tend to listen to my audiobooks on double fast speed, and I should have slowed this one down. Lots to think about, and I agree that the narration is excellent. If I remember correctly, I tried the original adult book first, then switched to the Jason Reynolds version and found it very accessible.

It may depend on the coach. DH played football from pee-wee to college. He says that the kickers on his teams would just practice kicking during practices and didn't participate in the other drills, unless they also played another position. Punters could possibly be tackled or have to tackle someone, so would do drills for those possibilities.

Thank you, Arcadia! That's very helpful information.

Thanks for all of the helpful feedback!

As of last night, she was still bleeding a little, but it's slowing down. She said it's about to stop, she thinks. I'm trying to remember when she started missing school. It was definitely before she started taking the iron supplement. In fact, she was sometimes not feeling well even last spring and would want to come home early. We would try to discourage that, because she is in a cosmetology program, and her school hours count toward the training hours she needs for her eventual license. I bet her iron has been low for awhile. We just switched doctors, and the pediatrician didn't run blood tests (unless she had some reason to), so I think this was her first blood panel. I think she has missed at least a day of school each week so far this fall, but she had something else making her sick during the first week of Sept (dr ran Covid test but it was negative). She's definitely seemed more fatigued this week than she was before and has complained a few evenings this week that she just feels terrible. Her blood test was taken on 8/25. Her next blood test is scheduled for 10/6.

The test that they ordered is titled "CBC with differential COPC". Yes to MCV -- 65.0. No to serum iron or transferrin that I can tell. I wonder if they will order those for the repeat test next month. We did get her some orange juice. The difficulty there will be keeping her brothers from drinking it all! She hasn't been taking Vit D recently, but we have some and can add it.

It's a big achievement! DS19 just passed his driving test TODAY!!! After almost a year of adaptive driving lessons. I was not sure he would ever be able to drive safely. I'm not taking credit, though. Other than arranging and taking him to lessons, I didn't help him; DH did the at-home lessons.

We got into her online chart. Her HGB is 7.9. All of the other hemoglobin-related tests were also flagged as low. Her ferritin was not checked. I said in my OP that she is to have her blood rechecked in three months, but I really meant one month. I bet they will check ferritin then, because they said that there would be some additional things checked. Technically, they didn't say they were giving an anemia diagnosis yet, but I've been calling it that. I'm sure the long period is one culprit, but she's been craving ice all summer -- as in asking for giant cups of ice alongside her drinks when going through a drive thru and going to UDF every day or so just to get a cup of ice -- before the menstrual issues began, so I bet the iron has been low for awhile. We will contact the doctor tomorrow to ask if they will order an iron infusion. Thank you all for your help! @kbutton, I will PM you about your offer. Thanks!

For our situation, our attorney set up a special needs trust to hold DS19's future inheritance. Once we pass, DS's portion of the inheritance will funnel through the trust into his ABLE account, with the trustee of the account handling the finances. In this way, none of the funds will actually ever be in DS's name (except for whatever the ABLE account disperses to his bank account to pay his bills) but he will benefit from them (there are approved things ABLE account funds can be used for) and can still get Social Security due to having low assets (he has not applied to get SSI yet). With this set up, because DS will not personally own the assets, he cannot pass them to any future dependents when he dies. His special needs trust money would be dispersed back to the family trust and divided among our other children (if I'm remembering correctly). Yes, check with your attorney. Your situation might require a couple of trusts to be set up to make this all work out, so that your husband can benefit but not take on ownership of the inheritance. This will cost the grandmother some money up front but can protect her money in the long run. I am not a lawyer and don't know the laws in your state, of course. Just sharing what we have learned along the way for our own family.

Please don't quote. DD18 was diagnosed with anemia at the end of August. I can't access her chart right now, but her hemoglobin was 7.something. She was prescribed 325 mg ferrous sulfate to take twice a day. She had been craving ice all summer, and she had been having a very long menstrual period, so I was not surprised. She had a Nexplanon implant, which was the cause of the long period, and so she had it taken out a week ago. Her period is subsiding but is not all the way gone yet. A few days before starting the iron, DD was feeling sick -- nauseous, and she threw up several times. Because it started before the iron, it wasn't related, but when we went back to the doctor, she said that the iron might be contributing to her nausea, and she should stop taking it until she was through whatever virus was making her feel poorly (negative Covid test). So she had a rocky start with taking the iron. She has been back on it now for about a week, and she is feeling terrible. She came home early from school yesterday and stayed home today. I think her current symptoms are from both the anemia (fatigue, dizziness, brain fog, weakness and general malaise) and from the iron (nausea). I don't have much experience at all with anemia. (DS18 took iron for a couple of months to boost his numbers, but he had no problems with it and no anemia symptoms, so that was entirely different.) I've been reading on the internet but could use some real life information, if anyone would be willing to share. How long might DD continue to feel the anemia symptoms before the iron starts working well enough? She has a follow up with the doctor in three months one month for retesting. Does this sound like she is not tolerating the iron pills? At what point would an infusion be better? At what point would you go back to the doctor early, to say that things aren't going well? Any general suggestions? She cannot afford to miss much more school, so we are hoping we can get her to feel better soon. Her appetite has been off, and she is a picky eater, so getting her to eat specific things might be challenging. Thanks in advance!

Yes, this could be dyslexia. We had DD18 tested between third and fourth grades. She could read on grade level by then (after years of frustrating effort by me as her teacher), but her spelling was so poor that her words were incomprehensible. The solution for DD was hiring an OG tutor and then sending her to a private dyslexia school for a few years. Now her spelling is sometimes iffy, but sooo much better. One of the issues with DD that I noticed as I worked with her early on is that her skill at comprehension hindered her progress at decoding, because she could totally guess and get it right 95% of the time. When working with her, I had to cover any pictures on the pages, and I used an index card to cover all but the word that she was reading (often I would only show a portion of the word, because she would guess the word instead of sounding it out). Have you listened to the Sold A Story podcast? It wouldn't help you craft a solution but is an excellent expose of the trouble with reading instruction in many American public schools. Someone like my DD or your student could totally guess their way through that type of reading lesson, because guessing and using pictures for context clues is encouraged as aiding successful reading. Anyway, if you can, using Barton with her (or another OG program) would probably make a difference. I know that YOU cannot have her tested for dyslexia, but if you can, it would be good to encourage her parents/caretakers to consider it. If she is a public school student that you are tutoring after school, please recommend that they request the school to evaluate her.

I was also going to recommend a baby doll for your MIL, @saraha. I hope she gets the care she needs, both at the hospital and at home, once she returns.