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Posts posted by Marylou

  1. Marylou, I would've pushed "like" for your posts but I'm not sure how to do that w/o seeming flippant, so I'll just say I'm very grateful you've found several links to bring their story to the forefront.

    If that one clip (from Australia?) is correct . . it says deaths in U.S. 1,000, but deaths is U.K. Australia are less than 20!  Why????  I guess I'll have to get the book that was linked and see if it says the reason(s).  Even 1 death is sad.

  2. My husband doesn't remember things I've told him yesterday, never mind last year!  


    I agree with the others who say lecturing other adults about how to behave is generally unproductive.  And using the word "shot" is very scary to some people.


    Just consider this one last thing you have on your plate to do!

  3. Great points here.


    And I really think, as annoying as many of you may think them/us, the pro-virginity proponents really don't have some sinister patriarchal plan going on to control our kids. We are just going from our own past experiences and truly want what is best for them.


    Just as I may think the militant pro-cloth diaper, non-circ'ing, or whatever else parents may be obnoxious because those things are a non issue for *me*, I try to keep in mind that they are also doing what they feel is best for their kids.


    But if you're a religious person, and you teach your children accordingly you are a "child abuser"  [see The God Delusion chapter 9].

  4. Ew. Sorry, but Ew.

    Virginity status would not be a factor for me at all. (Well, unless they were "older" and then an older virgin would creep me out, frankly)


    My determining factors would be character issues such as kindness, courtesy, integrity, money management. Or practical concerns such as education. Or family history (addiciton, disease risk). Work history. Service to the communitiy.


    But virginity? Ew. Just Ew.



    I didn't say it was the determining factor.  I said (or implied) all other things being EQUAL, I'd go with the virgin.  I know I'm not alone on that one.  Flame away!


    My "Ew, Sorry Just Ew" moment(s) would (theoretically) be when I picture myself with Mr. Experienced and wonder how I measure up compared to Sally, or Jane or Mollly or Nancy or, or , or . . . .


    Twenty two years ago I married a virgin just a few months shy of 37 y.o.  He is a wonderful husband and my best friend.  So I find your comment about older virgins "creeping" you out distasteful.  But it is your opinion, so no offense taken.  Good night!

  5. There are public policies in effect that impose slut-shaming as a method of education. This is not true of abstinence. The is no public policy that imposes teaching abstinence as a loss of personal value in effect in school districts or women's health clinics. I am unaware of churches or other private organizations that teach such a thing.



    I think it's a learned response. People are taught to equate virginity with value, it's not a natural connection.


    No.  It is not a learned response.  


    Good night.

  6. What is desirable about virginity? Why does premarital sex make one less desirable?


    Valuing virginity contributes to the shaming by suggesting one is "less desirable" for not being a virgin. It claims one's intrinsic value is diminished because they have behaved sexually. Just the fact that we have a word for this, when we have no such word for other first-time experiences (swimming in the ocean, riding a horse, jogging a mile, etc) contributes to the idea that sex is a valuable commodity and as such, contributes to the value of the person.



    In the taxonomic classification (which is the organization method that applies to all biological species), all primates (of which homo sapiens is one) are classified in the kingdom animalia. This is what is meant by "people are animals." It's not a moral comment but a biological one.


    :001_huh: No.  Valuing one thing does not necessarily lead to shaming something else.  


    Call me rude and shallow, but if there were 2 men proposing marriage to me and I loved them both and could see myself living with either one of them for the rest of my life. . .  And if one of them was a virgin and the other not, I'm going with the virgin.  


    And most people (no matter what religious affiliation or bio-self-identification :p ) understand that.  Both men have the same intrinsic value, however one is more desirable (to me).

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