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shage

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Everything posted by shage

  1. FWIW I work with the people incarcerated and I don't believe we have cogent explanations for why people end up on that path. We have hints and ideas and theories, but at the end of the day it's extraordinarily complex. Whether you believe in free will or not as a philosophical or religious construct, there is evidence that people stuck in negative behavior patterns do better if they accept they have agency. IOW it matters less if free will actually exists than if people think they have it. To that end, I think it is very appropriate to say to adult children: I accept this is your interpretation of your childhood and I hope you make the most of your circumstances. I love you and really wish the best. At this moment in time I am not interested in Monday morning quarter backing our parental choices because it is too painful. I hope you can have those conversations with friends, counselors, spiritual advisors. Basically affirm the adult child's feelings, but don't have the painful conversations if it is leading to a cycle of the child believing in even less agency. Let someone else give the perspective. Right now if he succeeds in pushing this button, it just confirms his worldview.
  2. This is an excellent summary of options. I would add: 6. Consider WUE schools. Tuition for California students who attend WUE schools is often between what the Cal States and the UC's charge. Most importantly: They don't give a rip about a-g. Admissions policies vary by state and specific schools, but there seems to be a general openness to homeschool graduates.
  3. As far my reading this week, I am still plugging along with The Narrow Road to the Deep North. The story picked up in pace and believability once the main character becomes a POW on the railroad line and fades into the background. I am now at the post war years and, once again, the most compelling part of the story occurs in post war Japan with the main character completely absent. My other read this week was Wendell Berry's Our Only World: Ten Essays, read alongside my oldest son. I count Wendell Berry as one of the major intellectual influences on my life and it was a homeschooling triumph to share this. Not sure why I waited so long. My son is both academically talented and loves to work with his hands in a way that is reminiscent of Berry's own background. The timing was right. My son is considering college options at the moment and came away with a hope that work-of-the-hands and work-of-the-mind can be of intertwined value.
  4. Adding yet another thank you to Eliana. What a wonderful summary and collection of resources. In my small of corner of the universe, I do see a bright spot at the intersection of race, gender, incarceration, and treatment of mental illness in restorative justice programs. Here is a link to a program not local to me, but close enough that I hear of the impact: Restorative Justice for Oakland Youth. Here is their resource list with endless bunny trails. Transitional justice programs seek similar goals but on much larger scales, for example, in cases of genocide or rampant human rights abuses.
  5. Ah. I didn't make the connection to the Anzac centenary. That makes sense.
  6. I started this week with Richard Flanagan's The Narrow Road to the Deep North. I had requested this for Christmas because I am interested in SE Asian history and an award winning novel about the building of the Burma Railroad during World War II from the perspective of an Australian POW seemed liked a good option. Not so fast. Much of the first section focuses on a love story between the young Australian doctor and his uncle's wife, but written in such dripping prose that it was disorienting. Is this a romance novel? Or a pitch to Hollywood for a screen play? Then, the war years. The story is rough to read because of the brutality yet the prose is beautiful. It's as if someone secretly awarded Flanagan the Hollywood movie and he relaxed and finally began to write. But then something very sad happened to a dear friend of mine this week, and I decided to set aside the war book and instead revisit the original Narrow Road to the Deep North, the prose and poetry travelogue by famed Japanese haiku master Basho. Ah. Balm for the soul. I don't claim to understand Japanese culture much but the beauty of nature captured in haiku is fascinating and calming. I will need to finish Flanagan's novel before I understand why he chose the title and how I feel about that. And question for the Australians here: How has the book been received where you are? As far as read alouds to the kids, I finished The Witch of Blackbird Pond for the second time. Or is it the third? I never know quite what to make of the Puritans as a people in literature. Are they the muggles?
  7. I liked your post out of empathy. I too have given up. CB is of the devil and I would like to enjoy my Friday evening.
  8. There is much in this post which resonates with me. (Except I am in good health--let me say that upfront because I know how health shapes the moments of days. Good health allows me to do more, though possible in a less empathetic and thoughtful way.) I am at the 10+ year point of homeschooling and could, theoretically, continue for another 8 years if the kids chose that path. I also am at a crossroads with my part-time career and I am finding the crossroads tricky to navigate. For background, I was raised in a "peace" church and continue to worship where pacifism is the norm (not required) and feels authentic to me. I also have a background with mental health and the judicial system, and somehow have managed to find a path in that world that is in line with my religious convictions. It has not been easy, but neither has it been overly difficult. I know and love the world of the incarcerated mentally ill, even though it can be harsh, for reasons which are impossible to articulate. Odd wiring? The influence of unusual mentors? I can't say. Now, though, I have the opportunity to moves towards working WITH law enforcement, not with the prisoners, and this is creating an internal crisis. I don't know if I can find a path in that world. Yet, the work of social justice (and specifically treatment of people with mental illness) within law enforcement settings is immediate and possible, and to walk away feels wrong too. And of course there is the pull between professional life and that of mother, wife, and homemaker. I make no apologies for choosing to protect fiercely those roles because there is a level of comfort and love from those bonds that no professional job could ever provide. Do I retreat to home? Press forward? I have a few months, possibly longer, to make some decisions. Somehow it is comforting to me to encounter others facing similar yet different dilemmas. The list of justice oriented themed books in this thread alone has given me pause because maybe there is a starting point?
  9. Ooh. You mean it won't be so terrible to read the last page first? I will check it out.
  10. My first effort to stretch myself--don't laugh--was to select a murder mystery. I have a complicated relationship to the genre. Because my professional world involves working with violence and the aftermath, I struggle with murder-as-entertainment. Where other people find escapism and the ultimate triumph of justice, I usually see sadness. But, I am trying to lighten up. 1. Inspector Singh Investigates: A Most Peculiar Malaysian Mystery by Shamini Flint. Inspector Singh doesn't quite fit in with Singaporean police culture, and thus gets shipped around the region on overseas cases. The premise is flimsy, but the character sufficiently quirky that it works. He is rotund, wheezy, food obsessed and wears white sneakers. It is jarring that the certainty of death by hanging for a murder conviction would be a plot device, as it the interplay between Syariah law and civil law within Malaysia. The publisher is Felony & Mayhem, and there are some interesting nook and crannies on their website. 2. Since Christmas I have mostly finished A Book of Common Prayer, though it will stay with me through the year. I do not come from a liturgical background but have developed a fondness for (and collection of) various prayer books. My limited theological impression: it rings of both humility and empire.
  11. The classic way to solve the childcare issue is to work evenings and weekends, which is definitely possible with a private practice counseling career. I have worked that schedule (though not as a counselor) off and on plus home schooled multiple children for 10+ years. Dh and kids all help with chores. Still, I am burned out on it. So my advice would be: Yes it can work, make radical self-care a priority, know licensure law inside and out in case you need a break, enlist help from husband and kids from the get go, find ways to transition back and forth between home and work that are efficient. Also, specialize to maximize your income in case you need to outsource cleaning, cooking, classes, etc.
  12. Ah, but I really do want to join in after lurking! Stacia--I have relied on your book recommendations many times. So thank you for that. I am expecting a number of life changes this year so decided my goal should be to slow down, read more, and get my garden back in shape.
  13. I would be shocked if this were true for California. I am well aware of bias against community colleges in other parts of the country, and some of the bias is with good reason when academic standards are lacking. However, the community college system in CA has been around for 100+ years with master planning intentionally meshed with the master plans of the UC's and Cal States. The UC's have tremendous control over what goes in CC classrooms because of their mandate to accept automatically all "qualified" transfers. I would argue the quality of the CA CC's is closer to most regional state universities in the Midwest and South. More than that, though, is that the CC are part of the state ethos in a way I haven't seen elsewhere. I can't imagine an admissions officer at a public medical school dissing the CC and still keeping his or her job. Because they are a fact of life and how the state system is supposed to work.
  14. The main drawback I see is that after 2 years they have to switch to a new school. This disruption or change, depending on your perspective, may or may not be a good thing. Harvey Mudd doesn't like transfers, I don't think. Someone correct me on this. But they are private and your kid can apply as a freshman as a homeschooler. :-) It really is ONLY the UC's and Cal States who are picky, and then only about the first 2 years. The risk for waking up 2 years in and wishing for a different route is one ALL students face. Students have to make the best decision at the time and live with it. I have heard the medical school admissions lore, but again I don't really buy it because I know of 2 physicians who went the CC route and it didn't seem to matter. I am guessing a potential physician could write a strong personal essay about his or her CC to UC route and it would turn heads in way a standard admissions essay would not. That is just my guess though. Kaiser is supposed to be opening a medical school here in CA and I am pretty sure they will not care about CC on the transcript because their big push is to develop physicians willing to work in underserved areas.
  15. See, if this is your philosophy as a parent, I would state it and make sure your child addresses it from his or her perspective. If I were waiting through a pile of admissions essay, one written by a student saying "My mother rejected institutional learning..." would get MY attention. And I mean that in a good way. For students whose ultimate goal is grad school, the undergraduate degree may be a bit of an anomaly. By that I mean he or she might have to do traditional lectures, papers, tests. But grad school? That IME was less about institutional learning and a lot more about being self motivated and creative and thinking outside the box. So a student telling me that he or she has developed GRAD school skills as a teenager---I would be inclined to accept. Why not.
  16. We are yet another independent homeschooling family in California who opted to forgo a through g. It just didn't make sense. To get the classes accredited as we went along would mean we would have to switch to a charter at the very age most of my charter homeschooling friends where switching away because of the crazy oversight. We would have to give up curriculum and methods I knew worked and worked well.To certify by exam would mean an awful lot of time and money to College Board, and we were not wiling to do that either. Basically going the a through g route would mean giving up many of our best reasons to homeschool in the first place! The clincher though, is that there was no immediate benefit to sending our kids directly in the UC system. The state university system really is designed for a high percentage of students to filter through community colleges first. I have taught at the university level in other parts of the country as well as CA, and my opinion is that California community college system, at least in our area, does a good job. Not a perfect job, but a good one. The community college to UC route is open to homeschoolers with relatively minimal stress and low tuition. As it has turned out, my oldest son ended up applying to 2 universities: one private (selective but not name brand) and the other an out of state tech school through the WUE exchange. He was accepted into both and still receiving news on merit aid, but it is looking very promising. He had decent SAT and ACT scores and one "soft" AP exam. That was it as far as outside grades. (He did take 2 SAT2 subject tests AFTER he was accepted to one of the schools because it was requested by a scholarship.) He had pretty good letters of recommendation, but because we did not outsource math or English, the teacher who wrote it did not know him very well. Again, it didn't seem to matter. So when people talk about the need to have outside confirmation...IDK. My experience is that if ACT or SAT scores are solid, outside confirmation seems to be a moot point. Unless you are talking highly selective. Even then, I'm not so sure. Because the more you work towards outside confirmation, the more you follow a "typical" path and it seems to me the big advantage of homeschooling is not to be so typical. WUE tuition is often less than the UC's and more than the Cal States. However, many WUE schools are in areas where COLA is significantly lower than California. I'm tossing this out there because WUE can have some overlooked gems. I have enjoyed homeschooling the high school years more than elementary or middle school. The kids get more personality and more opinionated and it's just a lot of fun to see them come into their own. Mine have gotten super independent, and honestly I am not sure how motivated I could have kept them with a standard curriculum. They have quirky interests, but that is a good thing. Let your geek flag fly. I say all this to encourage you to worry less and go with what you know works. Yes, those essay prompts for the homeschool counselor letters such as the one posted above are a PITA, but they are also a chance for you to explain your philosophy of how you educate and why you made the decisions you did. Even the dreaded course descriptions--and yes, I did complain about that too--is a nice opportunity to summarize the high school years. Admissions wants a chance to peek inside your "school." It is nice of them to want to peek, at least. Because we all know the UC's don't even want to step in the neighborhood.
  17. Hunter-- I did a presentation to mental health professionals on homeschooling and I found some demographic data that suggested income for homeschooling families is bimodally distributed. As in, there is a group of families $30k and less, and then another group $120k+. I don't recall off the top of my head where I found that information. But it fit with my experience here in CA. Blue collar is not necessarily the term I would use because many of the low income families are very well educated, just under employed.
  18. Give him a week. Totally not kidding. Rip sticks are huge in our neighborhood for kids that age. It takes awhile to get the hang of it, but all part of the fun.
  19. The school is closed for holidays so he sent an email and will wait. Years ago I was involved with admissions from the university side, and I suspect that is making me take this too seriously. He needs to wait until he is certain and not feel rushed.
  20. Ah, okay. I was interpreting "I accept" to mean he was accepting to attend, NOT he was accepting honors program if he chooses to attend school. He needs to contact school and clarify.
  21. It's an electronic form with one of two boxes to check. First one says "I accept..." and second one says "I decline." We can't find information on how binding this is. There is also a $300 deposit due to admissions which admissions says is refundable. I am thinking he should email director of honors program and honestly explain the situation?
  22. Friday my son received an acceptance to an honors program at a university. He has already been accepted to the university and received a nice merit scholarship. He loves everything about the place and it's his top choice. I too am in agreement that it is probably an excellent fit. Honors program wants a "letter of intent" ASAP. This letter is actually clicking an electronic box either yes or no. There is no middle ground. There are 2 things holding him back from clicking yes with gusto. (1) He has never been on campus. The school is far enough away (500+ miles) that we suggested he wait until the required in-person interviews for more merit aid which will happen end of January/beginning of February. (2) Without the additional scholarship money from the end of January/beginning of February interviews, the school is out of our financial reach. What are the ethics on this? What would you do? Thanks.
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