Jump to content

Menu

shage

Members
  • Posts

    346
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by shage

  1. Based on recommendations here, I picked up (and finished) A Quaker Book of Wisdom.  What a lovely read, like sitting down for the afternoon with tea and an elder relative or mentor and listening to them riff on life.  I am familiar with Quaker belief and culture already, but enjoyed the reminder and the particular spin.  The Quaker's have such great phrasing:  Let your life speak, where way opens, that of God in every person.

     

    I have a child headed to a Quaker university in the fall and I am personally hoping to find a way to attend a nearby retreat center for a few days.

     

    • Like 5
  2. It's been a long week so I'm skipping out on the work I have to get done and I'm going to bed with Dave Barry. That is sure to cheer me up. His columns make me laugh so much that I embarrass myself if I read them in a public place.

     

    DH is working on going through our 1000 pictures of our trip and I'll post a few of the literary ones when he finished whatever editing voodoo that he does. INCLUDING ME AT JAMES HERRIOT'S HOUSE! *fangirl scream* *silly fangirl dancing*

     

    Really. I don't know why you gals put up with me. I'm an embarrassment.

     

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Life is too short not to be an embarrassment.

     

    😆

    • Like 10
  3. I have a book related question that someone here might be able to help with.

     

    I am looking for a book which covers the neurology of adolescence to use in a human development class for high school students. I read The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults. Loved the information. But the tone: Ouch. The author geared it to parents and I found it condescending. I am concerned the students will find it patronizing and respond with snark rather than learning the material.

     

    Anyone have a better suggestion?

    • Like 10
  4. I sent my husband,s copy of The Martian with oldest on his 12 day backpacking trip and he returned without it. His college roommate joined him for the first few days and the first evening, after supper, as they were waiting for it to be dark enough to go to sleep, my son pulled out his book. Roommate was trying his hand at starting a fire via friction and couldn,t believe oldest was lugging a book along. Oldest said he certainly was, how else was he supposed to spend the evening all by himself? Roommate teased for awhile and then asked when oldest would be finished so he could have it. So oldest tore off the part he,d already read. That bit left with roommate and the rest was left behind rather than carried the rest of the way. Lol.

     

     

    Martian goes hiking.

    Gets left bit by bit on trail.

    He's badass like that.

    • Like 13
  5. Yes, I've seen the self-employed have an easier time. I have a friend also who left a big firm to work for the government, he makes much less but he gets home for supper most of the time. Town size can make a difference as well - my friend's dad heads a successful firm but it is located in a mainly rural area, and he's had a much easier time having a reasonable kind of lifestyle.

     

    So it isn't a total no-go, but it is something I would encourage someone to think about, in terms of what kind of work they want to do, where they want to live, what kind of lifestyle they want.

     

    And that would be similar for other kinds of work as well.

    I work a part time job not traditionally thought to be family friendly but I have a measure of control over my hours and it's specialized enough to pay well. High hourly pay is the ultimate in family friendliness because you don't have to work many hours provided you manage not to get caught up in the rat race. My own experience has led.me to think much more broadly for my own daughter. If she enjoys the schooling and training, the investment may be worth it even for a part time career.

    • Like 3
  6. Interesting, regenetrude. Thanks for typing that out.

     

    At the time we lived in Norway we had an elderly family member living with us and it was not the cultural norm. Most elderly Norwegians lived independent of families with plans for long term care in care communities in place. It was considered strange to have an elderly person who planned to stay with the family forever.

     

    It is interesting to me the European concept of a professional. I am likely way over generalizing, but they seem to have specific training for jobs that here in the US would be more DIY. For example, my husband is an engineer but good with construction and he has done all kinds of construction that most Europeans would find strange.

     

    Even early childcare is professionalized in a way it is not in the US. (Licensing for day care in the US is typically more about health and safety, less about educational credentials of the teachers.)

     

    Except for house cleaning. Not a professional job.

     

    The lines between the two seem fairly arbitrary to me. Because I can think of many jobs of about the same skill level that are professionalized.

     

    Really, I think the issue is that with high labor costs, it's just not the norm.

  7. I think the SAH thing is a balance.

     

    My dd11 talks about wanting to be a mom - she hasn't I think got much sense of SAH or WOH. I would not want her to be without skills to earn a living. I also, however, would not want her to think about what kinds of careers would fit in with her view of what kind of mom she might like to be. She was interested at one point in being a lawyer - if she'd been older, that is something where I might have pointed out that people work many hours, and it can be tricky to take a break, and a lot of women may delay having kids.

    It depends on the kind of law.

     

    I am not an attorney but work in legal world and know several women who have made it work. They are often self employed and avoid corporate work.

    • Like 1
  8. Question for regenetrude.

     

    I heard similar ideas when I lived in Norway. The idea being that people should do their own cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. Yet, they were quick to outsource elder care and care of disabled children because there were viable options not available here in the US.

     

    How does this jive?

     

    It's an interesting paradox where self care is prioritized but care for others is encouraged to be done by professionals.

     

    Not sure how this works in Germany?

  9. Or, depending on cultural upbringing, I might feel that paying another person to do the dirty work that is beneath me is exploitation because it would be only feasible if that person earned much less than I do. I would feel guilty about letting another person scrub my toilet.

     

    I feel very differently about outsourcing work that I don't have the know-how, equipment, or ability to do vs outsourcing tasks that I simply don't wish to spend my time on.

    I don't share this guilt at all (and yes I do scrub my own toilets). To me it is no different than eating out (someone has to wash those dishes!) or getting a pedicure. (I hate the thought of a pedicure and have never had one, but would scrubbing someone else's feet be inherently demeaning?)

     

    I can't think of much work that I would find inherently demeaning PROVIDED the worker is compensated fairly and provided safe working conditions.

     

    It is perfectly legitimate to choose to spend your time elsewhere. Otherwise we would all.be involved in large scale food production and knitting our own socks.

    • Like 4
  10. There is a negative stereotype apparently in some developed countries if a woman works and pays a maid. I have been the recipient of such scorn here on this forum. Apparently if you have a once-monthly maid service you are completely hands-off in your house, LOL.

     

    It was hard to talk me into maid service, even when I was working 100hrs per week before kids. I felt like I should be able to do it all. Finally I decided it wasn't worth the freakout when people announced they were coming over within days / hours. And now I'm an advocate of creating maid service jobs (and other domestic-related jobs) to improve quality of life for all involved. (I pay well above minimum wage ftr.)

     

    Re lower income people hiring household help, you really don't have to be "rich" in many countries to have hired help. It's not very expensive compared to US costs. My nanny had a nanny when she was living in her native country.

    My perspective is that if you hire help and pay well, you are providing a job. :-D

     

    In some cultures, not providing the job would be selfish.

  11. I really think there are a lot of older marriage customs that make a lot of sense. A dowry that goes to the women if the marriage fails - that makes total sense to me. How to translate that into a modern setting that would make any difference I don't know, but the concept to me is a good one.

    An investment account and a prenup?

  12. I can't fit bonsai trees in my yard so...

     

    :lol:

    Well, most parts of the US don't have a climate suitable for pomegranate and citrus. I try not to rub it in.

     

    I laughed at your potato growing story, btw. Growing potatoes is a big hairy deal in dh's Midwestern family. Planting must happen on St. Patrick's Day. And it must be above ground, covered in straw. You can then tell everybody you "made garden."

     

    Months later, one bag of seed potatoes yields one bag at harvest.

     

    I loved The Martian, but the potato growing part was not plausible. :-D

    • Like 2
  13. It's worth it for very pricy items like herbs (so simple to grow) and berries (grow very well in Oregon). Our blueberry bushes and raspberry canes don't require much work and they are so expensive to buy in the store. Strawberries are a little harder and too many critters get them before we do. Tomatoes are probably worth it money-wise--it's really a different product than what you can get in stores and homegrown taste so amazing that it's worth it. Corn, lettuce, onions, carrots aren't really worth the effort to me--so cheap in the store.

     

    We compost and get nice dirt that way, though we do need to buy ingredients for fertilizer.

    Yes, berries! Berries are usually worth it.

    • Like 4
  14. On finding a mate . . . I'm amazed and impressed that some of you had a checklist and interview process. I was hit by a bolt of lightening and was absolutely consumed by an obsessive, romantic, passionate love at a very young age. I built my life around that man and I'm damn lucky that we remain a great match 26 years later. We didn't live together and dated several years before getting married, so it wasn't rushed or impulsive. Still, I find it completely alien and even very impressive that people are walking about with level heads arranging their own marriages.

    I laughed at this.

     

    Um, yeah.

     

    I met dh when out to lunch in a strange city with a cousin and her then fiancé's friends. Within hours of meeting, he circled back to pick me up for a date. This was pre cellphone days, which meant he had to go through the motel switchboard to track me down. We did wait 2.5 years to marry, living in separate states. But it is astonishing how little we mapped out. Because, eh. We were in love. Everything else was details.

    • Like 1
  15. It is a law on the books here. The truancy officers would absolutely come and investigate it as well and would likely get the homeschool office involved. In other words, jurisdictions vary - here, it would be a thing that would likely be followed up on.

    This is an excellent point. Jurisdiction matters.

     

    In the several states I have worked professionally, CPS doesn't have the authority to investigate either educational neglect or truancy as a stand alone complaint. Generally that goes to the truancy officer or law enforcement with CPS only pulled in if the situation is verified and then not rectified.

    • Like 1
  16. I do not think that CPS would have any jurisdiction in this situation in my low regulation state. There would need to be factors other than educational neglect even to get an investigation.

     

    I am a mandated reporter, and I would not report this.

    I have not read all the replies. I am in CA and am a mandated reporter as well. However, educational neglect does not fall under mandated reporting statutes in my state. Meaning, if I were to encounter this family in a professional setting, I could not break confidentiality in order to report.

     

    I suppose a lay person or friend could call CPS, but it doesn't fall under the state CPS mandate unless there is other abuse or severe physical neglect.

     

    People tend to think that law says xyz because it should, but that's not the case.

    • Like 3
  17. I know, right? I think her exact words were, "Um, mom, you didn't read this book before you gave it to me, did you?" Nope, no, honey, I didn't. Sorry. :blushing:

     

    I actually think it's kind of sweet that at 13, she has strict boundaries for herself about what she is and is not comfortable reading. I don't police or censor, I just tell her about any content she might not like and let her decide (well, this works when I've read the book, at least!). So far, she doesn't really want any icky sex stuff in her books. I should enjoy it while it lasts, I guess ;) :D . I know that when I was her age, the very fact that there were "forbidden" books is exactly what made me want to read them, and I'm sure I read all kinds of things, sneakily, at that age that I had no idea how to process in a healthy way. And the fact that they were forbidden meant that I had no one to talk about disturbing stuff with, besides my friends who were as ignorant as I was. Anyway, glad to hear it wasn't too hot & heavy!!

    If it makes you feel any better, I unthinkingly brought my then 9 year old daughter along to an appointment with a surgeon for a much younger brother who needed a surgery for a severe functional defect in his nether regions. It was 75 minutes of diagrams, photos, and very blunt conversation. Oy.

     

    Mother of the year.

     

    She thinks it's hilarious. Now. At the time she left with her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

    • Like 8
  18. AFAIK all the men drafted in my family served as conscientious objectors. Same with my husband's family. There were quite a few: grandfather, great uncle, uncle, father-in-law, husband's uncle. The common CO jobs during WWII and Vietnam were in state psych hospitals or large medical centers.

     

    We have taught our children that if a draft is in place, don't run away. Serve in accordance with your conscience.

     

    Of course, their conscience is ultimately up to them.

    • Like 3
  19. I'm going to do a quick jump into this thread. :) I've not been reading much because I've been so busy as well as super stressed, making it hard to focus on a book. But 2 weeks ago I found myself stuck at Costco for over 3 hrs for new tires. I had forgotten to grab my Kindle so I walked over to the book section. I found Judy Blume's In the Unlikely Event . Seeing Blume's name on the book gave me all the feels (sorry, cheesy expression, I know, but it was exactly how I felt), so I bought the book. I read a third of it while waiting, then finished it later that week.

     

    I enjoyed the book immensely. I was pulled right in, felt like I was there, in the early 50's in Jersey. I loved the characters and could relate to so much. I also loved the ending. The modern thing is to not have a full epilogue, but she had a complete one. It was a very satisfying read.

     

    It felt good to get lost in a book. I could use another, fun, light read. I may have to go looking for one. My normal books are dark or deep or both, but right now I need some good fluff.

    I did a Judy Blume Fudge-fest with my younger kids a few months back. It felt...decadent? Pure fun.

    • Like 10
  20. I've been missing for a few weeks, waylaid by a job change, end of year homeschooling busyness, a graduating senior, and general exhaustion. 

     

    But.  This weekend I have slept plenty and my schedule is looking much lighter and more manageable for the next few months.  Relief.  Life is not meant to be lived that quickly.

     

    As far as what I have been reading...

     

    With my younger kids, we read Carry On Mr. Bowditch for school, followed by several books about the Lewis and Clark Expedition.  We are currently reading Little House in the Big Woods, half heartedly, and The Birchbark House, with a little more gusto. 

     

    My own personal reading has been focused on medical nonfiction. I finished Inheritance, about the interplay between genes and life.  For me it was a much needed updating to my genetic knowledge, and timely because we are starting to have our kids tested for specific clotting disorders.  (First child tested, my daughter, was positive for one but not other.)

     

    I enjoyed Cure: A Journey Into the Science of Mind and Body by Jo Marchant.  I highly recommend to anyone interested in the latest mind-body research and particularly how it applies to chronic pain, anxiety and depression, autoimmune disorders, chronic stress, etc.  Marchant has a nice, steady, approachable writing style.

     

    I am currently reading The Teenage Brain and Being Mortal to possibly use in a Human Development psych class I am considering teaching to high school homeschoolers. I taught AP psych to homeschoolers last year and it was a wonderful experience. 

    • Like 13
  21. I hate hate hate to shop and have almost no fashion sense. An acquaintance suggested Christopher & Banks when I needed an inexpensive professional wardrobe. So I took my clothing budget, went to the store and found a sales clerk probably 20 years old than me who was very stylishly dressed. Normally having a clerk help me freaks me out too but maybe because she was older??? IDK. I tried on strictly for fit and comfort and let her say thumbs up or down for style. I am still happy with those clothes. I am tall so this particular store might not work for you, but the general concept might.

    • Like 2
×
×
  • Create New...