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barnwife

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Posts posted by barnwife

  1. 15 hours ago, Drama Llama said:

    I do not understand how someone could hate soup (all soup?  Are there exceptions?) but I agree with you 100% on the rest of this!

    I don't know either, and I've got a kid who hates soup. (To be fair, he does like canned tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich.)

    Cereal is not soup. 

    • Like 1
  2. My recent bloodwork showed numbers similar to yours (overall total not quite as high, triglycerides higher, others similar). My pcp and I decided I would focus on diet and lifestyle for 6-9 months and then retest. 

    Sadly, I am eating way less cheese. When I think of that I want to cry. We have not just a cheese drawer, but a cheese shelf. I am also now eating overnight oats for breakfast, with ground flaxseed. I am trying to eat more beans, lentils, fish, chickpeas, and veggies. I now often have a veggie wrap for lunch. I am more careful about eating sweets. Exercising is a priority. 

    No real advice here, just commiseration.

     

    • Like 5
  3. No. But...I grew up in a place that is known for its Canada geese.  Going to church we had to watch where we stepped because our church was right near a river they liked. And nobody wants goose sh!t on their shoes in church. So I'm much more drawn to other wildlife these days. Also...they are vicious.

    Honestly, I barely notice geese anymore. Growing up with so much of them/their noise makes me just tune it out.

     

    • Like 3
  4. DD12 is trying to remember the name of a book she read.

    The protagonist is a boy, about 14-16 years old. At the beginning of the book he starts getting bad breath. He likes art. He is at school and fights with a bully. His breath sets off the fire alarm. He is sent home from school, at which point he hears his parents talking about how he is a dragon. His house gets burned down by the school principal, who knows about dragons and hates them. There is also a girl who is a dragon. She has wings and usually hides them with a backpack. The boy, his family, and the girl-dragon escape on a plane. The school principal attacks the plane. 

    They survive the plane incident but the search is on for them.

    Can anyone name the book? TIA!

     

  5. I have not tried that combo. However, I am going to put a very off the wall suggestion out there. I tried it with one of mine after reading it online, and it helped. Has she tried eating sour things, particularly sour patch kids? For reasons, I can't explain eating sour patch kids worked for me during 2 pregnancies. I should note that it had to be actual sour patch kids for me, other brands did nothing,

    I hope she finds some relief soon!

    • Thanks 1
  6. I just received tetanus and Covid shots today. The arm that got the Covid shot is currently more sore. And I am sure that arm got the Covid shot, as the nurse showed them to me. 

    OP, if you truly believe the nurse made a mistake, please let them know. I work for a local healthcare system and this would be something we absolutely want reported. Also, have fun on your trip.

    • Like 1
  7. 23 minutes ago, pinball said:

    Anything before the “but” is negated bc of everything after the “but”

    Umm...what? No, absolutely not. Two things can be true here. It was sweet of the bus driver. (I don't think anyone here has claimed otherwise). It is also true that the situation that caused the driver to perform the sweet action is not good. 

    As other have pointed out, the dress days can cause students to be othered. And that's not good. Is it sweet of someone to prevent that for a student? Absolutely! 

    Now, I need to bow out of this thread because I know how the poster I just responded to is...

    • Like 7
    • Haha 1
  8. 8 minutes ago, katilac said:

    I'm not asking you to say how you dealt with it, but imo the consequence needs to be directly related. He left extra work for his siblings, so a natural consequence is that he has to do equivalent chores to lighten their burden in turn. This is both for his own good, and to try and prevent resentment from siblings. 

    Oh, he did. He got to clean bathrooms by himself.

    • Like 3
  9. 1 minute ago, katilac said:

    For a typical child, I'd say don't give the option to quit shoveling or end the math lesson. If they were upset to the extent of not being able to finish in a meaningful way, they would know that the math lesson would be finished later that day, when they were calmer. 

    What do you think would have happened if you called them back to shoveling? Did they just go about their day after waking away from the work?

     

    I did try to call him back. He ignored me (which I dealt with later when he was not in shut-down mode). 

    • Like 1
  10. 1 hour ago, HomeAgain said:

    Because this is the chat board and there doesn't seem to be a diagnosis, I'd say I would not let the child quit.  They are needed there.  They don't get to go somewhere else.  The lesson that I would be focusing on is pushing through discomfort and dealing with it, and I'd explicitly tell that to the child, too.  If they quit, we all quit.  The job then becomes theirs to finish.  Deal with the snow, alone, but I watch.  Deal with the math, it's going to follow you to your bedroom along with me.  There's no escape from learning how to develop socially appropriate behavioral skills. I'd emphasize different ways to deal, but the 'punishment' would be the consequence of not being allowed to escape.

    It sounds harsh, but it's a necessary part of life that needs to be dealt with.  The problem ceases to become to initial discomfort, but how it is reacted to - and that's where I'd pt my focus.

    There is no diagnosis, although I highly (highly!) suspect this child has dyslexia. I like the idea of if it's something we are all doing, we all quit and he has to finish.

    @Katy This child has always, always been like this. So hormones are almost certainly not helping, it isn't a new problem. 

    @fairfarmhand Thanks, that's a lot of good stuff to think about. I think I will print the quote out and put it on our fridge to talk about as a family.

    @forty-two Yes, like you, I can't not correct him. I mean, he's got to know that his math/writing/whatever isn't right (for example). But correcting him and having him shut down isn't exactly working either. I always try to be calm and matter-of-fact. My kids hear a lot "it's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are part of how we learn."

    @maize I wouldn't say he's either highly anxious or emotionally fragile. It's more that I know that I am careful in how I approach correcting him, because him shutting down isn't helpful. 

    • Like 1
  11. How would you help the following child?

    Child is a pre-teen who cannot handle any correction at all. Child does not melt down when corrected, but always immediately stops whatever they are doing and leaves to go be alone. As an example, after a recent snowstorm, our kids and I were out shoveling. I noticed that Child was dumping snow where it was easy for him/where we'd have to shovel it again. If child has turned slightly as snow was dumped, snow could have been dumped where that wouldn't be necessary. Knowing said child can't handle any (and I mean any) correction, I said something to everyone shoveling. It was more or less, "Hey everybody, don't forget to pay attention to where you are dumping snow so we don't haven't to shovel it twice!" It was said with a smile. 

    Child immediately put shovel down and walked away and did no more shoveling. 

    Or, another HS related, one...child makes a mistake in math. Mistake is pointed out...and that will be the end of math (or whatever). It doesn't matter if it's presented in a  "hmmm...I come up with a different answer. Can we figure out why that is?" type way. Child cannot handle it.

    FWIW, I specifically model me making mistakes and having to correct them in front of this child to make sure child sees that process/that it's not the end of the world.

    Please help me figure out a way to help this child. DH and I are at a loss.

  12. 5 hours ago, bolt. said:

    You need to be 100% resolutely on his side, as you said. That means offering unconditional support, and regarding him as the only expert on his own life, with yourself as merely a loving bystander. He needs the solid sense of your belief in him about a million times more than he needs your perspective, your ideas, or your advice. He's going to struggle to do anything if he doesn't believe in himself, and he will be so much stronger, more decisive and healthier in himself if he knows you really, actually, support him fully.

    I mean, you can have *thoughts* about various things. Nobody can stop themselves from thinking. But you don't get to express them or even hint at them unless you are asked directly what you think. And even if you are asked directly, your reply should be 90% "I think you're the one who knows this situation best, and that you are doing a great job of thinking it through." And only 10%, "Have you maybe considered xyz at all?"

    (And while you are having your thoughts, remember to hold them lightly. There's soooooo much it's impossible for you to know. Only your ds really understands the situation in all of its complex nuances. His perspective is the one with the weight behind it.)

    This is so wise.

    DH and I are not in a good place. We just had a discussion re: separation and divorce. 

    When I recently tried to talk to my mom about how bad things actually are, her response was "well, just keep working on it."

    I wasn't shocked by her response, but boy has it cause me more stress and grief during an already really, really difficult time. I have never, ever felt that my mom was 100% on my side during any struggles, fwiw. And yes, that means we aren't as close as we could be.

    So, OP, for the sake of your relationship with your son, let it go. You suggested it. Now just be his biggest cheerleader no matter what he/they choose.

    • Like 2
    • Sad 9
  13. 2 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

    I can't define it that closely, but I was starting to get protrusions outward at the base on my foot of the big toe area, and they aren't there anymore.  I don't know whether the big toe shifted over them or what, but I can tell you that what seemed to start them growing was arch support so I also stopped using that except when I really needed it, and the combo realigned my foot.  It's supposed to be impossible, but it did happen.

    This almost exactly. The only thing that's different for me is that I can't pinpoint a cause for mine. I know I was starting to develop that protrusion on my feet and it was very painful. Now, that protrusion is gone and no more pain at that spot.

    When I first became aware of the pain/protrusion, I was scared. My grandmother had horrendous bunions on both feet. I did not want to end up like that. I stumbled upon the work of Katy Bowman and based on that I started spreading my toes wide every day. I ended up with big improvement for not much time/effort. 

    While I obviously can't guarantee results, making sure to space your toes as wide as possible as often as possible is a low cost/effort thing to try. 

     

    • Like 1
  14. 10 hours ago, 73349 said:

    To me it's not an "appointment" without mutual consent. I don't call a provider's office and tell them that I will see Dr. So-and-so next Friday morning at 10 AM; neither may they do the same to me.

    I mean, that's just semantics/splitting hairs. Which is fine if you want to. It's the first/best time on the provider's schedule for the provider to see the patient. That spot has then been reserved for patient, because the option is waiting (sometimes days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months). So call that time slot whatever you want. 

    Of course, patients are always free to say that can't make that time. We (that is, those who schedule the appointments, ime) really, truly do not care. Our job is to save that spot for the patient as directed by medical staff and inform the patient. Rescheduling isn't hard. We just want the patient seen as soon as possible.

    And yes another possibility that causes this is a patient being worked in due to special circumstances. Our health system runs an ER and a UC. When a patient is seen there, they recommend following up with a PCP. Therefore, we must get them in. However, that often means a provider needs to double or triple book themselves. So yes, those appointments are often of the "this is your time unless you want to wait a long time" variety.

    Again, no one thinks this is good/ideal. But it's the system we have.

    • Like 2
  15. 9 minutes ago, dirty ethel rackham said:

    Is this a new thing? Because I have never experienced this in all the medical stuff I've dealt with.  If a doc orders a test, the order is sent but it isn't scheduled.  Either they call me to schedule it or they notify me that I need to set it up.  I've never had something scheduled without consulting me to see if that day/time works for me.  

    I wouldn't say it's new. And I'd say the more specialized the test/the provider needed for it, the more likely it is to happen. I can say for our offices of PCPs, scheduling without talking to the patient is the exception rather than the rule. When it happens, I call the patient and say, "Provider XXX asked that you be schedule for (insert whatever here) on DATE and TIME. Does that work for you? If not, I am happy to find other options on the schedule."
     

    • Like 1
  16. Okay, I work for a local healthcare system. When a doctor orders tests like a mammogram, that is automatically sent to the correct department for scheduling. So a PCP orders a mammogram, MRI, whatever, and that request is in the system. The department will then schedule whatever it is. Ideally, the scheduler calls the patient to do so. However, sometimes the schedule is already pretty full/very full/ no appointments for a while so they just go ahead and schedule it. They then call the patient and let them know.

    All of this could happen before the ordering provider/PCP (or his/her nurse). has time to contact patient. As soon as an appointment is made, it is visible to patients who have an online account within our system. 

    So yes, patients absolutely can be scheduled for further tests this way. Is it ideal? No. But it keeps a spot on the schedule for you to get in ASAP.

    • Like 2
    • Thanks 2
  17. 23 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

    Festivals of lessons and carols, which pair scripture with Christmas carols are beautiful. They're common in Catholic and Liturgical protestant churches, although the carols may differ. I love the Rutter carol settings, if you can find a church doing them. 

     

    Not really a service, but I find the Stations of the Cross very moving.

     

     

    This response intrigues me. 

    I am a lifelong Cahtolic, and I've never heard of a festival of lessons and carols. 

    Anyway, I'd say a Midnight Mass, Holy week services (Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday - note that this one isn't a Mass but a service, and the Easter Vigil, Easter morning Mass. I'll throw in that she might find it interesting to attend a Latin Mass (either low or high). For an experience many Catholics themselves aren't aware of, she could try the Chrism Mass.  It's traditionally held on the morning of Holy Thursday during Holy week at the cathedral. All priests of the diocese who are able will attend. If she goes, it's a long Mass (I'd say ours is about 2.5 hours). It's where the oils and chrism used in sacraments are blessed.

    She could look for a procession, such as one for Corpus Christi. She could attend Stations of the Cross during Lent.

  18. 6 hours ago, Terabith said:

    I have been forced to send my kid to school sick because she had had ten absences over the length of the school year, but any further absence would result in CPS being called.  Parents also cannot write sick notes in our district, only doctors, which has resulted in us taking our kid to the doctor 3-4 days in a row when she is sick with a virus, even though everyone involved knows it's a waste of time and money, but it's the only way for the absence to be excused and for her to be able to make up work.

    If we didn't have excellent insurance, that wouldn't be possible, and she would have her gpa dinged significantly.

    Some doctors offices will give you a note for more than one day. That is, if your child is seen due to illness on Monday, they will give you the excused absence note. If your child is then still sick on Tuesday (or Tuesday, Wednesday....whatever), they will provide a note without the child being seen again. At least, all doctors in one of our 2 biggest health care systems will do this. Heck, we even fax it to the school for you. All the parent has to do is call and ask.

     

     

    • Like 4
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