Mom22ns
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Posts posted by Mom22ns
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I too hope the lawsuit succeeds and I am horrified. My kids didn't fill out any of the voluntary information when registering for the ACT, so hopefully it won't haunt the one who used accommodations for the last time in his life that day.
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I kept a list of all literature and fun reading my kids did, but never used it. I didn't include textbooks or other non-English class readings.
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I would just make a transcript showing what he will be taking in the fall and label those classes In Progress. Voila, a high school transcript. You could put the classes from 8th that counted for credit on there too if you'd like. Since they only want an unofficial transcript, I bet they'll take anything you hand them. They just have to check the box.
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1 minute ago, katilac said:
I just noticed you have a bike on the list. I don't see that fitting in most Ubers, particularly alongside a fridge!
Have you checked to see if his college has the bikes you can rent? Sometimes by the semester, sometimes by the day. Also, he might have good luck buying a used bike that another student no longer uses. At dd's school, there are always a few bikes that never move from the same bike rack all semester, lol.
Ds's college has bikes that are available for yearly rental for free. It is definitely worth checking into.
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9 minutes ago, unsinkable said:
Id have to say consider the source. People lie, especially on social media. People exaggerate. I'm not sure what you are seeing on TV...news stories about independent teens?
My circle is pretty widespread...from working class to professional and at all income levels. The vast majority of parents help their kids as much as they are able. Of course the amount varies but I'd be hard pressed to point to someone IRL who raised their kid to be self-sufficient by 18.
I guess you are fortunate in your circle.
These are people I know well. I know them and their kids. The issue is not the source, but the idea that kids are being ruined by parents like me and that we must make them independent as quickly as possible to avoid the destruction of civilization as we know it. There is constant media coverage denouncing "helicopter parenting" and telling how it will ruin the world and has already ruined millennials. I'm just really tired of it all and particularly of feeling condemned (even though no one directly condemns me) for my parenting. Parenting a SN kid is hard. It is a complex balancing act. The idea that if a child has not gained independence by 18 they are a failure, just makes it all harder.
Pardon my frustration. I'm glad it isn't your experience, but that doesn't mean it isn't real.
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I'm surprised at so many negative reviews of Walmart. We buy things site to store all the time. Pickup can be slow, so I'm not sure about an Uber driver waiting. The advantage to Walmart over Amazon (which I use a lot - I have and love Prime) is that you can do site to store and they hold it 7 days. When we are trying to get things to college apartments, this has been a huge help. With Amazon, we have to make sure the kids will be there before we can get things delivered - not ideal for things like a bed and bedding. This would work for items that he could take some of and then have the rest delivered within a few days of moving in, like socks and underwear. Generally, Amazon is significantly more expensive for the little things like that than Walmart is here. We live in a low COL area and local Walmart prices reflect that. Amazon doesn't.
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38 minutes ago, happi duck said:
It is the culture where I live and I see enough online, tv etc that I presumed it was everywhere. I'm glad if it isn't widespread.
I see it everywhere too. It seems widespread. I see it here, on tv, in friends, on Facebook... I constantly feel like (in everyone else's view and in my paranoid moments) I'm a bad person, a helicopter mom, like I'm ruining my kids futures and disabling them for life. Then I look at my kids. My dd is a 19 year old college junior in a very competitive BSN program. She has a job, an apartment, a fiancé, and excellent grades. My 21 year old ds has ASD, but he is a college senior, just completed an internship (that I found for him), has lived independently on campus and in an apartment, has decent grades, and a fiancé who loves him. Yep, I help. Yep, I'm here whenever they need me. Yep, I do things for them when they can do them for themselves - just to be kind. No, it hasn't ruined their lives, made them ungrateful, or made them unable to do things on their own. It has allowed them to grow at their own (very different) paces and accomplish all they can at each stage and most importantly it has given us a strong bond that I will never regret.
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My kids never had assigned chores. They were willing helpers and would do whatever I asked, but there were few things that they took initiative on. I worried about ds when he moved out. Not only has he been fine in both a dorm and an apartment, but I actually found out when the kids left that I missed all the things I was used to them doing. Before ds moved out, I hadn't taken out the trash in years! Even now, having them home for the summer has me spoiled. I still have to ask if I want help, but they still help willingly. I have not regretted our "no chores" household.
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1 hour ago, Lady Florida. said:
I never heard of any of this stuff until I came to The Hive in the early 2000s. I was still a Christian then but that wasn't a thing even in my Christian circles. I'm just glad I never lived in that world.
This is me exactly. I am a Christian and have been in a couple of churches/denominations in the last 20 years, but the only place I've ever heard of this was here. I do know of families that do purity rings, but I've never discussed it with them. I've never known anyone who didn't date or whose kids didn't date.
I do like the idea of getting to know people in groups. I got to know my dh in a group. We were friends before we started dating, went to the same church, hung out in the same friend group, and even worked together for a little while. By the time we dated, I already knew him well. I encouraged my kids to get to know people before they dated and they both did. They both considered their future spouses to be friends before they started dating, but they both met them at college, far away from me.
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15 hours ago, Ktgrok said:
The issue with this, or vocational rehab services, is that he s so "high functioning" that people can't tell, and he has sort of just ignored his diagnosis in many ways. So it would be difficult or impossible to get buy in from him at this point, that he needs special help because of his diagnoses. That may change though.
Yep. This is us too. Ds even chose not to use accommodations in college and if all goes well he'll graduate this coming May after 4 years, but with quite a bit of support from me. No one, including him—no, especially him—sees him as disabled and getting services from Voc Rehab or anyone else would crush him.
When ds was younger, I thought about opening a used book store so he could work there and take it over some day. It would still be a good choice for him. He has volunteered at the library and hopes to get a library job. A job where these kids can excel within their comfort zone is definitely important and can be hard to find.
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4 hours ago, happi duck said:
I don't like our culture's attitude that a person can't need others once they hit 18. "If you can't accomplish everything alone it's a fail."
There is something important in my life for which I need some scaffolding but have no one to help. Having no one to support me does *not* make me go "oh, I have no support so therefore I can now magically do this on my own". Instead I keep trying and failing while feeling alone. It hurts my sense of self worth and self confidence.
Liking this wasn't enough. I have a 21 yr old on the spectrum. He is in college, and I went as far as you did in order to help him get an internship for the summer. Give him the support he needs and keep gently pushing. These kids take baby steps. If you push them out of the nest without a safety net, they will fall hard. Don't be afraid to help.
Also, TechWife is right about Voc Rehab. Every state has one and they will help him find a job with an employer willing to deal with special needs.
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I'm in the same position as you Dawn with one kid doing each. My oldest has the +/- system and I'm not a fan. My youngest has the straight letter system. Having to get a 95 or above to keep a 4.0 is brutal. There are time that each system gives advantages, but overall, I think agree that the big gaps are motivational, and the small ranges are frustrating.
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I'm taking a lit class focused on Jame Joyce and his contemporaries - focused on stream of consciousness style literature, Research methods, and a practicum that is required for graduate assistants who are teaching. I'll be teaching two sections of English Comp I.
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Another vote for Lightning Lit for 7th (& possibly 8th) grade as a great lead in to Excellence in Lit.
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The biggest thing that helped my kids with main idea and other reading comprehension was actually Wordly Wise. It is a vocabulary workbook, but at the end of each week's lesson is a reading passage (which uses all the week's words) and questions which always include main idea. My kids really struggled with these when they started and the improvement was remarkable. We used it for several years though.
I bought Reading Detective mention above thinking that would be useful, but my kids hated it and I couldn't push through.
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I did the opposite. I arranged by year and had a section for courses taken before high school. I didn't list grades for those courses or include them in the GPA calculation. I would do the same for your dd.
That said, I think the main thing that the two answers you've gotten so far demonstrates is that it is up to you and however you want to handle it will be fine.
I remember someone posting that they had to provide a transcript by year to a college - they wouldn't accept one by subject, but I can only remember one person ever saying that. It is definitely the exception not the rule. Most colleges will take what you give them. Since your dd is 13, I would track the information for the transcript, but don't worry too much about your formatting yet. You'll find some examples along the way and you'll find one that works for you.
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This is an interesting perspective. I feel like more people put the elderly into retirement homes than ever before and that fewer take care of their elderly parents than in the past.
My parents took care of their parents. They were able to stay in their own homes with some in-home care and weekend visits from us.
My parents both died in their home. My dad was my mom's primary care giver and I took the weekend role. We got some in-home help for him in the last weeks. My dad died of a stroke and my family moved into his home for the last month of his life so he could stay where he wanted to be.
Will my kids do the same? I don't know. They were certainly part of taking care of my parents and it is the norm for them. I hope there isn't an extended move-in-with-the-kids period in life, but I think they would take me if I needed them too.
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19 hours ago, Dotwithaperiod said:
So the first person in could have a fridge and not be required to share?
I had never considered that someone would have to be "required" to share. I don't know if they were or not. Dd had every intention of sharing. I would think it would be required since only one was allowed, but I don't know. Dd is vegetarian and specifically had the maximum size fridge allowed and one with a separate freezer because she knew the dorm food would be challenging. She just wanted to make sure their one and only fridge would be a good one.
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16 hours ago, Dotwithaperiod said:
It makes absolutely no sense to allow only one fridge per room, without the school stating it’s to be rented from them and shared. It can’t be just that the first person to move their fridge in wins.
Dd's school did this. Her originally assigned roommate decided to go somewhere else and she hadn't been informed of a new one, so on move-in day we got there early to be sure her fridge won - just in case. ?
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On 7/19/2018 at 9:31 AM, dirty ethel rackham said:
This dorm has several different suite styles, some like what you describe. In hers, they share a bathroom between them but have separate doors to the hallway. So, it is just a single without a large communal bathroom. she may or may not have much contact with the person on the other side of the bathroom, other than navigating sharing that space.
I don't want to hijack, but I would encourage your dd that living learning communities tend to form great relationships. Ds participated in one. They all had a class together the first semester and lived on the same floor in the same wing together. They all had individual rooms with a bathroom for every two rooms, but instead of two room suites it was 4 room suites that all shared one outside door, then had a little hallway that led individual bedroom doors and bathrooms. They didn't have any other shared living space like some I've seen. However, the exterior doors for all the suites were usually open and the interior doors stayed open a lot too. The whole wing became a community and it was a great experience for ds. It was far better than an actual roommate because you could close the door when you wanted to. His school only allowed people to live in that dorm format if they were in a LLC so that they built relationships to make up for the single rooms. I really hope your dd has a similar experience and that the school does a good job of building the learning community so your daughter doesn't feel isolated.
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4 hours ago, G5052 said:
I probably will take at least one class this fall. The college I teach for as an adjunct will pay for one class from them for each class you teach. I don't think I can swing four LOL, but I'm going to start on a certificate and see how it goes.
That is awesome! I hope end up working for a school that will do the same!
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That is pretty much how I did it. I would pick a spine and schedule it across a semester or year so I know how much they need to cover each week. Then I looked at supplements such as other books, labs, movies, etc that I want to include and schedule them into the time that similar material is being discussed. Depending on the course, I might schedule papers, projects, or tests as well. I then go back and try to make sure it all distributes with a relatively even work load, giving some extra time to chapters that I think might be challenging or that have a lot of supplements and others a bit less until it all seems like it will fit.
Then the semester hits and I rearrange as necessary. ?
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21 hours ago, cbollin said:
2 years ago my dd got a bissell 3 n 1 (2 n1 ?) "lightweight corded stick vacuum". It was a dust buster that attached to a stick. check walmart online for pic. about 20 ish dollars. not that much more than just a regular dust buster. It was fine for the last 2 years in a small dorm that only needed a small carpeted area once in a while. very little space, behind the door. no worry on charging battery.
Dd got one of these too (from Amazon). She has used it for two years as well, dorm first then apartment and it has worked great for her. Ds got a similar one last year when he moved to an apartment and he too was very happy with it. In his dorm, one of his suite mates had a vacuum and he just borrowed that a couple times/year. I'd definitely wait to be sure it is needed for the dorm, then keep an eye out for a cheap stick vacuum if it is. I've seen these for up to $100 at Wal-mart, but both of mine found them for <$25 seeing an eye out for a good deal on Amazon.
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I'm not a decorator and probably wouldn't "decorate" at all. I'd have a comfy bed, a comfy chair and a desk with a good quality desk chair. Beyond that, I don't really care. I guess good surge protectors and chargers everywhere. I'm a bit of a technology addict. ?
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What kind of drop off parent are you?
in The College Board
Posted
Kid dependent here too.
With dd moving into the dorm we moved stuff in, helped setup and decorate, took her to lunch and left. When she moved into an apartment, we added a grocery run to that. This year, I wasn't able to go when she moved in, so we did an early run with big stuff that needed our SUV, then she went by herself today.
With ds moving into the dorm was similar. We carried stuff, helped setup (no decorating), lunch and gone. With his apartment we help carry stuff in (furniture and all) then leave. He is just 45 minutes away, and last year we did lunch and a grocery run with him after church the next day. He is ASD and just can't take the stress of getting everything done in one day.
None of us get overly emotional at drop-offs. The first year was the hardest for me, but I held it together and the kids were just happy and excited. I've never felt like we were removing a bandage - slowly or quickly.