We traveled to my niece and her fiancé’s bridal shower. They did that thing where they ask people to bring their gifts unwrapped to display on a table instead of opening the gifts in front of everyone. I like this: less waste, less awkwardness for the bride/groom, more time to visit, etc. We got her a very nice gift that I was 99% sure they would LOVE. It was thoughtful, personalized, and a little pricey for our usual gift-giving budget. We were excited to give it to her. And I was a little bummed that we wouldn’t get to see her reaction. But I figured she’d let me know. I got a thank you card in the mail yesterday. It was generic: “Thank you for the gift. It was so great to see you! Can’t wait to celebrate again in six weeks!” I’m paraphrasing, but that’s pretty close. No mention of the specific gift. Not even a “Dear Aunt Hyacinth“ at the beginning. Just the same note that she likely sent to every person at the shower. I’m a little old-fashioned, I have a hint of curmudgeon in me, and I know there are way bigger issues in the world right now. Also, I’m hurt. I’m not looking for advice. Just a little commiseration and agreement that thank you messages should be at least a little bit personalized.

Generally speaking, employers don’t call references unless they’re preparing an offer. Exciting!!

buitengebieden A couple times a week I share a video with my young adults from the Twitter account Buitengebieden. It’s mostly cute animals or kids doing cute or amazing things. I send them with a short “Good morning” or “Love you” message.

It sounds, I don’t know…patronizing is maybe the word (?) to say losing weight is just too darn hard for anyone to do, so until sweeping societal changes come about, let’s not even suggest it when we’re discussing physical health. Don’t misunderstand. I agree with the list posted earlier in the thread. Losing weight IS hard. The challenges are REAL, particularly for people with fewer resources of time, money, and education. I get it. But still…is it so impossible that offering said education/tips in the context of a doctor’s appointment (or a friendly forum chat) is absurd?

It’s good to introduce yourself on a forum, too 😁.

Thanks, everyone. Next question: what about trim? We tried pure white (I think that’s what it’s called) around the fireplace thinking we’d use that for baseboards and other trim too but it looked a little too stark. Is there another slightly less “pure” white you’d recommend to go with accessible beige?

Alternate title: Please pick my paint color! I’m so bad at this. I have painted three colors in different places throughout the downstairs to sample them but I don’t have the visual imagination to picture any of them across the whole wall. I’m leaning toward Accessible Beige. Does anyone have that in their house and, if is, do you like it?

I didn’t love the book, but Morning Pages were a decent takeaway. I’m not consistent about it, but I do often find some clarity when I do Morning Pages. It helps to get all the gunk out of my head before I start my day.

The still, quiet of the house when I wake up long before anyone else. The sound of birds chirping, singing, and generally greeting me as I take my morning walk. Knowing I have fresh tomatoes and basil as well as a big hunk of mozzarella waiting for me for lunch. The email from the library saying my requested hold is now available.

Oh yes! Or windshield wipers left on when there’s NO PRECIPITATION so they squeak.

Grown men wearing crocs People using sell and sale interchangeably (“I have a sofa for sell”) Loose book bindings

What did they think was going to happen? Are the leaders really surprised?

This is insightful. DH and I cringe/roll our eyes/sigh/leave sad every time we’re with his siblings because they talk to and about him like he’s the troublemaking 17-year-old they remember. He’s in his 60s. They don’t seem interested in knowing him as he is now.

Fellow introvert here. I once had a conversation with a co-worker who, after I said I planned to do nothing special that weekend, invited me to join her in all her many many outings and events. No, no, I explained. My PLAN is to do NOTHING. It’s not a default because I can’t find something else to do. It’s a preference. As an extrovert, she didn’t understand. 😁 I like the idea of reframing your experiences and talking about the satisfaction and contentment you feel in the way you spend your free time.

I understand that rule to be fairly narrow: Don’t try to go all conspiracy theory, talking about how vaccines are “dangerous to the human race.” But a conversation about, say, whether the recent FDA approval of vaccines for very young children is wise could be welcome here. Is that an accurate interpretation of the rule?

Or are they mostly just a big commission item sold by advisors? I know this is far too vague without a full understanding of the financial picture and, of course, one shouldn’t make big financial decisions based on comments from people on the Internet. But I’d love insights into your (or people you know) experiences with this kind of risk mitigation tool.

O. M. G. That is brilliant. THANK YOU!

As part of my job for the past year, I’ve been sending my colleagues a word of the week (a lighthearted email or Teams chat with a vocabulary word, its meaning, example sentences, and usually a gif). It’s been well-received and now my manager has asked me to expand it to include professional speaking and writing tips. We called the Word of the Week “WOW.” Any ideas what to call this new iteration? PSaWTOW doesn’t have the same feel. 😁

At a recent meeting, my boss told the 4 of us there that she was going to bring up in a larger meeting the issue of people wearing sweatshirts on Teams calls and how it’s not professional. “I’m not directing this at anyone here, I just wanted you to know…” Umm…if it’s not directed at anyone here, why are you telling us? If someone is doing something unprofessional, wouldn’t it be more effective to address that person? Are you talking about that one day I wore that purple athletic jacket because I was cold? Was that a problem? Are we REALLY concerned with comfortable wardrobe choices on a freaking department Teams call? I spent a lot of mental energy trying to figure out if there was subtext I was supposed to be inferring about that little comment. I’m firmly on Team Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say. Especially for those in leadership.

Dh and I are challenging ourselves to stick to a frugal food budget for June. I want an app or some other kind of online tool where we can both go in and log the amount each time we spend money on groceries/restaurants. Everything I’ve found is far more complex with linked bank accounts or debit cards, multiple categories, and other budgeting features. I don’t want to mess with all that. Just one simple page with one simple category. Does this exist? (As I’m typing it occurs to me we could just use *gasp* pencil and paper. Still…if someone knows about an online tool, I’m interested. Thanks!)

Yes, I think about death. Mine, my husband’s, my kids’. It’s not a hobby or anything, but I do think about it. In 100 years no one alive will have any memories of me. It’s both jarring and freeing. I’m important to the people around me now, but my existence is also but a speck of dust. Anyway, I hear you, Quill. Speaking of aging parents, my mom is in her 80s and she’s the last family member of her generation. My dad died six years ago. No siblings on either side left and, really, no friends either. She feels that acutely. She often says something about how God is having a party in heaven and everyone got an invitation but her. 😢

Has he looked at the local law enforcement’s Careers page? He might find good information there (for example, do they require first aid/cpr certification, graduation from a state police academy, etc.). Also, see if the local law enforcement group offers citizen ride-alongs. This could be an excellent opportunity to get firsthand insight into the job plus get some tips on breaking into the field. ETA: I’m a resume writer. The key to an effective resume is to match (as much as possible) the resume language to the job posting language. That’s another reason to look closely at the Careers page of the targeted organizations.

Insomnia and random musings go together for me too!

I don’t know what you could’ve said in the moment, but if you’re able, maybe text or call Sally and say something like, “I know Agnes derailed your topic the other day. I’m open to hearing more about your thoughts on retirement if you’d like a non-judgmental ear.”