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IfIOnly last won the day on May 4

IfIOnly had the most liked content!


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  1. Meal plan. I plan 6 meals weekly: chicken, pork, beef, Asian, Mexican, Pizza. Sunday is potluck. No dressers. Clothes in closets. Shirts and pants hung up. I don't fold anything really but towels, I think. Washcloths get thrown in a basket in the linen closet. I don't fold underwear either. All of my guys wear the same size socks now. I buy a boatload of Costco socks, one winter and one summer kind, wash, dry, put them in a large laundry basket on top the dryer for people to grab when needed. Edit: I do not have laundry days but mostly each day wash all of the laundry from the day before. Exception is delicates. I wait til there's a load to do.
  2. No, not right now. There are some obstacles to this. Maybe in the future.
  3. Yes, thank you. I won't be using my pay for bills or anything. Saving generally for now or possibly for Christian school tuition for the kids. At least for the high schoolers. I'm putting my work availability from 2 pm on for now. Weekends are more flexible. DH works from home and can do the afternoon, evening shift
  4. I applied for a job today. I haven't worked outside the home in 20 years. I haven't known what to say. DH seems to have taken to heart the counsel and has stopped the abusive language. He's really never had people call him in stuff and seems to be responding. I just don't know what to make if it and am just waiting and watching. There's still the narcissism though and mental illness and it sucks and is hard. It's really hard to be in a relationship with someone who is incapable. Hopefully working will give me space and a break from the crazy and then I can go from there with what I want and am able to do. Did I say it's hard? It's exhausting.
  5. Just visited our Del Taco today, and they have a sign saying they are only open from 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. now. I asked about it in the Drive-Thru and they said they can't get any workers. It's really sad for the businesses who were struggling due to covid and now continue to struggle due to covid relief checks. 😞
  6. We were there until 12:30 last night and I was up with a puking kid the night before. I'm so very tired, physically and emotionally. It went really well. They showed a lot of love, care, and support for our family, yet didn't tiptoe around things that were harming our family. His abusive behavior to us was confronted but not his delusions/mental health. I'm still processing it all. Too tired to think about a next step right now, but I feel safe as I consider it.
  7. Thank you. I changed it.
  8. We just moved and I have no idea where documents are. I have a car. Will work on gathering stuff just in case. I really don't know what to expect tonight. This could go many ways. Edit: I really do not think my husband would physically hurt us though.
  9. We do not have guns. Thank you.
  10. My oldest believes I am the problem. It's a very narcissist thing that happens with kids. My husband has said he is bringing him... because he wants a witness against me, I truly believe. I'm glad the things I've been communicating to him will also be heard by him from others tonight.
  11. I understand. They are trying though. I'm grateful for their reaching out the best they can.
  12. Thank you. I don't think it would be wise to mention leaving either, especially considering the subject matter.
  13. I just got a call from our church leadership. I guess my son called one of them after my husband told him he wasn't saved. I found out his meeting is coming from them and not my husband. This is not a counseling meeting or confront IfIOnly meeting. They are confronting his abusive behavior. They have been waiting for a time to do this, I was told. I'm so, so grateful to have their support. And that I put my foot down to churches that were harming us instead of helping us. Edit: they asked me to come but did not insist. I am going.
  14. I agree with either of those. His family has alluded to schizophrenia but never outright said anything. I haven't asked anyone about housing. We have a big family. I don't want to impose. Probably only my youngest two would go with me though. Oldest boys would probably want to stay with their dad. 😥 I wish their dad would leave, hit I doubt it. It's something I'm going to bring up tonight.
  15. So it wasn't that helpful. They will have a counselor call but there's a wait-list but not many resources unless I file for divorce. Housing is not really available either. Our conversation was cut short, so maybe there's more options she didn't get to.
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