I'd start by asking at the nearest "50+ place" about reserving a room... ... and then posting a "let's meet-up" general invite at the place you get supplies. The tweens will self-select out, if the location is the 50+ place. Ask the supply place, they might well be willing to give you a fistful of discount cards and/or send over somebody to demonstrate a particular process.

Scarlett, your b / a is gorgeous! And the paint looks great. Dawn, I love the idea of flanking bookcases, can never have too many bookcases, but wrt to your second rendering-picture, I'm not quite sold on the transition between the raised hearth and the ~2x as tall cabinets. To my eye, it makes the hearth feel cramped -- discourages the sit your butt on down here sense that a good raised hearth invites (see: Scarlett's cushions). How wide is your hearth? Do you need the storage in the cabinets? Would it work if rather than the cabinets beneath the shelving, you did bench seating beneath the shelving that continued the height and sense of the raised hearth?

I like the idea of classic books that *you* loved as a child - you can tell them so, and after you've left they'll have something to remind them of your visit and help them understand you/connect to you a little bit more. And maybe a game you enjoy as @wathe suggested, and/or some nice quality art supplies too, in the event they're not big readers. You're a good sister, and it's totally understandable to be nervous and overthinking, and I hope it goes well. Holding you both in the light.

https://bsky.app/profile/kenwhite.bsky.social/post/3kpvg4bl7xd25 (language alert)

TY - I'd missed that.

Absolutely. Because itty bitty 6 year olds have ALWAYS had incredibly strong emotions, the cognitive capacity to make and act on a plan, and on-average weak impulse control; and in the current environment they can and do also have guns in their backpack.

re systemic ways in which "accountability" is hindered These are are real issues. Systemic faultlines like the bolded* and systems failure are real, and the all-too-human inclination to cast around for a single scapegoat -- one Individual, one Bad Apple, one focus on whom everything can be blamed -- is a sort of abdication from the hard necessary work of tackling the systems stuff. Insufficient access to, and stigma around, mental health support is another huge systems failure. For the issue of gun violence and gun suicide at the hands of children, the BIGGEST system failure is guns in the hands of unsupervised children. Making progress there -- safe storage laws, civil liabilities and criminal penalties on adult gun owners who do not store responsibly, red flag laws enabling LEO to remove weapons when warranted -- will have the biggest yield. But all of the above issues also need work. * not bolding social promotion only because the kid was in kindergarten so it hadn't come up yet in this particular case

My daughter and I put some -- I think it was these -- in a rental. They were easy-peasy to put up (if you've ever put up wallpater, this was MUCH easier) -- and they looked great (not like real tile; it didn't really read like a hard impermeable surface; but they looked GOOD) and they held up fine for the 2-3 years she was there. Probably wouldn't hold up for the 20++ years that actual tiles would hold up but they were a lot cheaper / easier.

(( maize )) I am, again, astounded at your strength and compassion.

FWIW, the parents were charged and convicted of involuntary manslaughter, not murder. I believe -- IANAL -- that the charge is used for conduct without explicit intention of harm -- like texting or drinking while driving, or depriving workers of water breaks when they're working under extreme heat, or accidentally discharging a gun -- that results in death. @Terabith I do understand your discomfort about these particular individuals being charged when Michigan law didn't have safe storage legislation at the time. They weren't literally charged for not-storing the weapon at the single moment the minor took it, but for a broader pattern of conduct over a longer period of time, that the two juries found to be negligent. But I do see what you're saying. I'm glad that in the wake of this godawful tragedy, Michigan managed to pass both a safe storage law when it is reasonably known that a minor is likely to be on the premises; and also another that outlines consequences to less-than-responsible gun owners whose un-stored weapon is used by minors. I agree with @ScoutTN that making real inroads on reducing gun violence and suicide ultimately entails federal action. But we have to start somewhere, and atm the state level is where progress is being made, too slowly but better is better.

I don't, even if it were possible with our current system and polity, which it isn't. What I hope for is that we take the idea of responsible gun ownership seriously. I have no problem with minor high school skeet shooting teams (or minors hunting, or etc) where there is adult supervision, as there is for high school sport teams and clubs in all sorts of other areas with substantially less risk of accident. Under our legal system, minors **cannot be** legally responsible in the event of accident. Even the "good kids" with no history of mental struggle like the Michigan shooter, even the kids whose parents have spent hours training them on safety precautions. If minors are using weapons in the absence of any supervising adult, there is no one responsible.

(trying to gift the NYT link, but it'll be carried in all outlets): https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/09/us/crumbley-sentencing-oxford-high-shooting.html?ugrp=u&unlocked_article_code=1.jE0.atZc.Ixl8zKxKH5Kb&smid=url-share ) . Their trials on manslaughter charges were concluded in Feb and March respectively. I hope so. Part of being a responsible gun owner is ensuring your minor child doesn't have ETA: unsupervised access.

gorgeous cheese and raspberries. And rack of lamb perhaps 2-3 times a year (legs go on decent sale, but the racks never seem to)

What a fun thread! I can't find a clip for this, and it's from the series Avatar rather than a movie, but... Princess Bride "I know something that you do not know..." Mel Brooks/ History of the World "It's GOOD to be the king..." and Austin Powers' "[ insert whatever OTT thing] BAY-BEEEEEEEE!"... But the all time winner = Monty Python/ Run Awaaaay! (longform clip)

Gah, I never got around to coming into the March thread, so I have a bunch of catching up to do. Really enjoyed: Divine Might, by Natalie Haynes (greek mythology, scholarly exposition) - I'm working my way through all of her considerable opus. This one is non-fiction and, as she always is, both very insightful and also very funny Book of Hours, by Rainer Maria Wilke (poetry leaning into prayer) - just breathtaking Devisadero, by Michael Ondaatje (fiction) - as always with MO, weird story with unreliable narration and gorgeous sentences The Bill of Obligations, by Richard Haas (non-fiction) - I've read a LOT of books since ~2016 tackling the existential national question of how to find our way back to the garden. This is the best of the bunch -- the TL/DR premise is we're at a National Moment where folks on all parts of the political spectrum and leaning very hard into the "rights" side of what it means to be a society, and we've all sort of lost sight of the "responsibilities" side of things. This is a very short very clear outline of The Ten Habits of Good Citizens, a sort of check-and-balance to the Bill of Rights. It's non-partisan, very clear and very short, and I'm casting about for ways to foment community discussion around it in my town. The Peace of Wild Things, by Wendell Berry (poetry; re-read) Daily Prayer with the Corrymeela Community by Padraig O'Tuama whom I count as a life teacher (prayers and very wise compassionate thoughts). This is from his many years' work with conflict resolution work in Northern Ireland. Recommend the audiobook since his accent is TO DIE FOR Meh: Wintering, by Katherine May (memoir / self-help) - this started out SO STRONG - the first two chapters were just terrific -- but wobbled thereafter and just didn't quite hold it together Psyche and Eros, by Luna McNamara (greek mythology, fictional midrash) - I love this genre generally, and actually loved McNamara's overall take on P & E's joint and several journeys. But the storytelling was quite weak; she evidently missed the Show Don't Tell class in her MFA studies... By Hands Now Known: Jim Crow's Legal Executioners, by Margaret Burnham (non-fiction) - this is a well researched overview of the different mechanisms by which different groups (from deputy sheriffs to the KKK to judges to line police) had a license to kill to enforce white supremacy. Important subject, and the cases themselves are eye-popping, but the writing lags the content. re Ocean Vuong (very long-form poetry / memoir) Definitely sad, though I ultimately found it redemptive as well. ( I'd heard his interview with Krista Tippett before reading it, which may have primed the well...) I counted it as among the top 3 books I read last year.

My 3 kids went to 3 different private high schools. All of them regularly wrote 3-5 page papers in 9th grade history; one of them had to write one a week. They all also did regular presentations, sometimes in a small group and other times alone.

This. It's such an undertaking to do all the research and try to vet everyone's preferences and who needs a pet permission and who can't do stairs and who can share a bathroom with whom and and balance all the yada yada. This is SOOOOOO much more relevant than per person / per room. Also, in the mondo extended family / large group houses we've ever rented, Not All "Bedrooms" are Equal. One or sometimes two of them are ginormous with vast McSpas with jacuzzis and whatnot, and someone is in one with bunk beds or a double bed with barely a corridor around it to get to the nighttable or whatever. And the whole not "fair" to "penalize" _____ to my mind sort of ellides over the reality that the alternative to the mondo extended family / group house, with all the shared social space and convenience of kitchen / barbecue / deck / laundry / other amenities would be... a hotel... where the charge would be by ROOM, without all those conveniences and shared spaces that make a group gathering fun to begin with. ETA: and in which case, some of those singles who naturally prefer a room to themselves would likely agree to share a room given the cost. I haven't had personal experience with this because we generally just pick up the whole thing since within our extended family we're best able to do so and we're just happy to get folks together. But if I WERE doing a distribution, and were fully empowered to divide costs as I best saw fit, I would do it more or less on a per room basis, but tweak up substantially for the McMaster suite with the glorious view and tweak down for the back room on the third floor with wonky HVAC and bunk beds, if you KWIM.

Yup, I've shared it several times.

I do love me a good redemption arc. There's a mini-arc in nearly every episode; at least two longer arcs over every season; and then overarching hope that at the end of day/year/POTUS term/s, there are folks of flaws and good faith on both sides of the aisle who ultimately count themselves as on the same team. May God bless and preserve us, and our democracy.

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DIRECTED ME TO WEST WING YES I'M SHOUTING (and, as you assured me I would, I loved it)

Downton Abbey Great British Baking Show The Crown Parks & Rec Abbott Elementary West Wing Avatar WandaVision (short but great) Marvelous Mrs Maisel ETA Ted Lasso The only series I've ever watched straight through more than once, and it's been, erm, several times more than twice, is The Good Place. I REALLY love it.

My eldest went to boarding school (no drivers ed / no access to a car on which to practice), spent all summers past age 16 working in NYC (no need / no access to a car) and has lived her entire post-university life in major cities. She only very recently (like, this last August) got a DL, at age 28. Because the next chapter of her career (as a rabbi) will entail driving to congregant houses / wedding venues / gravesides / etc. Until she saw a need, she saw no need. (Youngest got one as soon as she was eligible. It's a good deal cheaper on parents if they wait, LOL)

Merrell moccasins. I am devoted to these shoes.

Awwww. Longtime lover of both hummingbirds and transition rituals that I am, I reaaaaaallllly loved Poetry Foundations' Poem of the Day for today, so timely for this thread. The Last Hummingbird of Summer, by Beth Ann Fennelly (audio link by the poet here) reveals itself in retrospect. Unlike the first, whose March arrival bade you gasp, hands clasped, like a child actor instructed to show joy, when the last departs for points south, there’s no telling, and no tell. Well, so what? You know their cycle. In August, they swarm the feeder, all swagger, greedy tussle for sugar water. Suddenly, September. Chill tickles your ankles. You reach for long sleeves and you fret. They’ve left? Not yet. Ear cocked for the symphony’s shrinking strings. Then comes a day without a ruby flash. Next day, they’re back. Next day, there’s one. Then none. Or maybe one? From porches, pumpkins grin. Your last had left, and left you uninformed. Kinda? Sorta? Can I say it?—like menstrual blood, again, between your legs. Your last, perhaps, or next-to-last, your no-longer-very-monthly monthly. So unlike your first crimson, at twelve, its “Yes-You-Are-There-God” annunciation. Well, so what? You know the cycle. Your body’s eggy miracle, unneeded now for years. And you hate waste. Why fill and dump and fill again the undrunk sugar water? Enough. Let’s progress to whatever season’s next. But still, a farewell ritual wouldn’t be amiss. The last hummingbird of summer, zinging from the feeder—to others, a smooth departure— to you, alone, unmistakably, dipping its wing.

re toxic lure of TikTok That is really interesting. I'm not on TikTok, and I don't know if you mean TikTok **literally and specifically** or more as a stand-in for social media more generally? But if you do mean TikTok, literally and specifically... it's sort of the Opium War with the roles reversed, gutting a society slow-mo, from the inside out.