I've never heard of Jordan Paige, but I've been watching more you tube videos than ever before. I often find some interesting or odd videos that just appear in the margin of the you tube screen I'm watching. That's how I found the designer purse ladies. They've been entertaining to watch even though I'm not interested in buying a designer purse! To think I've lived this long without knowing what an SLG is or what a WIMB video is about!!! And some of the ladies have become internet friends and even exchanged Christmas presents with each other, resulting in "Unboxing" videos on their channels. They don't come across as wealthy people, but they do spend a lot of money on these designer bags as you can see by their open shelving units filled with bags that they use for the background in their videos. (But I've also learned that many of them buy "pre-loved"/used bags from internet sites.) If my dh and ds would watch something other than Star Trek every night I might stay in the family room instead of sitting in front of the computer! (And I started out watching cooking videos, too, before I found the bag ladies.)

Since you mention that this relative is a widow/no children, is she holding an inheritance over your head when she is ranting at you and threatening to disinherit you? I'm sorry your relative has put you in this position, especially now that your children have seen her in action. I haven't been in your situation, but I'm a practical person and might confront the person with what her future could look like. She may never change her attitudes, but maybe someone needs to rattle her cage and let her know that she may end up having to move to assisted living, a nursing home, or have a visiting nurse come into her home at some point. Does she think she's going to get to choose other residents, her nurses, etc.? How is she going to relate to people around her? Is she going to be a racist loudmouth around other people? You could tell her that you're worried about her ability to relate to others and form positive relationships with people she may have to depend on who aren't family and aren't going to look the other way/try to change the subject when she gets going. And if she only wants to talk about tv, I'd jump in and talk about the commercials for charities like St. Jude and other places that help sick and hurting people and animals. If she has no empathy for children with cancer, etc. then she's a lost cause and I'd tell her so.

My first thought was also the high fat content of restaurant foods. My daughter has IBS (the diarrhea kind), and oily/fatty foods bother her. And she also has certain times of the month when she's even more sensitive to foods...since this seems to have started with your daughter within the last year it could maybe be related to hormonal/PMS stuff, too? I'm sorry. I hope she can find out what's bothering her.

Depending on her location/housing, maybe she'd like a hummingbird feeder? I bought one like this from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=aspects+hummzinger&crid=AM7X44UMWVJ9&sprefix=aspects+hum%2Caps%2C243&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-a-p_1_11 It's very easy to take apart for cleaning/refilling, and the parts are plastic in case she has dexterity issues and might drop it in the sink (like I do sometimes!). Mine is hanging from a shepherd's hook in a planter so this might be easy to set up if she has a deck or other outdoor space, and there would be no climbing involved to hang it. There are also small window feeders available that attach with suction cups. I'm lucky to be able to watch hummingbirds all year long, even if we have snowy weather! I would miss them if they flew south for the winter!

When my kids were younger I used children's books to help prepare them for visits to the dentist or doctor. Now, I'm afraid to give my daughter advance notice about going to the dentist because she's hidden her shoes and been difficult about it ahead of time. Instead, I tell her in the morning that we're going in for her check-up, and I make morning appointments so she doesn't have too long to anticipate it. Maybe I need to do more after the appointment, like a debriefing, but yesterday I didn't even want to talk about the incident after we got home. I had already pointed out to her that the people there are always so nice to her and go out of their way to try to make her comfortable, etc. so she knew what I thought of her behavior before we got home.

My copy is supposed to arrive tomorrow. Thank you for suggesting it!

I bought her a weighted blanket many years ago and she won't use it. Even the cute kittens on it don't make her want to use it. She's a tough one to figure out. We have a variety of things like body pillows, a massage chair, even an exercise thing that you sit on and it moves like a horse, but she won't use any of them. And it's funny that you mention Christmas lights...not "funny" actually...since she broke a tabletop ceramic tree this year by pulling the plug out of the wall sideways (and the plug broke) because she didn't like the lights. I often feel like she DOESN'T want to be pleased with anything. (And unfortunately this describes my late mother-in-law, too.)

Thank you for the ideas. I saw some fancy masks online recently with sparkly things that might appeal to her since she says she wants to be a princess. Maybe I should've ordered them, but I wasn't sure how how they would hold up. I've been handwashing our cloth masks so maybe something sparkly would work. I have two different types of face shields, but unfortunately she won't wear either of them. And since yesterday wasn't the first time she's thrown a mask it's probably best to give her the lightest face covering possible since it may fly if I'm not fast enough.

I'm going to spend some time this weekend looking into these resources. The vagas nerve /pressure points sounds interesting, and it looks like there are some exercise demonstrations on youtube. I wonder if somatic therapy is similar to the interoception resources that Peter Pan has been recommending?

Thank you all so much for your kindness and good advice and suggestions. I will definitely be re-reading all of your replies. For now, I'm trying to get over today. I try so hard to anticipate and prepare for anything that could possibly go wrong to try to avoid problems, and it's draining when stuff happens anyway. And I know it was a hard day for my daughter, too. She slept for about 2 hours, and the rest of the afternoon she's been slapping herself in the face. (This is one of several familiar tics she has...I think she might also have Tourette syndrome and she has a referral to a dr. at the adult autism clinic but after doing all the paperwork/intake stuff we're still waiting for an appointment a year and a half later.) I have to say that our dentist and her staff are wonderful, kind, caring people. They know her diagnosis, and have cared for her for at least 20 years. That's why I'm worried...she is a pediatric dentist and could have kicked us out by now just because of my dd's age. My son (also on the spectrum) was ready/able to leave the pediatric practice, but my dd is more challenging and I've been so happy that they've continued to treat her. But I don't want my dd to scare the little ones either since they belong there and my dd at this age really doesn't. At least there weren't other patients in the reception area when it happened since they're being really careful about social distancing and not having people sitting around waiting, but my dd was loud so I'm sure she could be heard in the treatment area before I could usher her out of the office.

I have to get used to the idea that I'll never be able to go anywhere again if I have to take my daughter with me. Today she had a dental appointment and I'm home now trying to recover from the humiliation. She cooperated with the cleaning and Xrays and I thought we were going to get out without any scene, but as we were leaving she loudly refused to wear her mask and threw it at a desk area (thankfully no one was sitting there at the time) when I was trying to help her put it on. And then I had to make sure we could avoid the people waiting for the elevator who looked aghast at the unmasked person coming in their direction. I have no idea how to deal with this. She's 23 and has high functioning autism...and is the most stubborn person I have ever known. I've explained the virus and the need for masks, etc. But she doesn't care about protecting herself and others. She doesn't care that masks are required. She sees that my husband, son, and I all wear masks without grumbling. And she still refuses to wear one for even a short amount of time. (I have given her many types of masks to try, so it isn't that.) As soon as we got home she put on her pajamas and went back to bed. (It wasn't an early morning appointment that required her to get up at the crack of dawn or anything like that either!) I wonder if they'll even want to see her again in 6 months? I'm just thankful she didn't hurt anyone or break anything. The mask was disposable so it doesn't matter that she ripped off the ear loops. That's the only "bright side" I can see right now. It's awful to feel lonely and isolated, but it's better to stay home and feel this way rather than adding in the humiliation that comes from going out in public with her.

I have one wide but shallow drawer underneath the two produce drawers in my refrigerator. I keep things like opened cheese slices/shreds and lunch meat in that wide drawer. I keep the unopened packages "filed" in the small cardboard display boxes that hold Starkist tuna pouches on the grocery store shelf. When tuna pouches are on sale I'll buy several and take the cardboard box along with the pouches. I use one for cheeses and one for deli meats; the meat and cheese packages that I buy fit nicely into the tuna boxes and I arrange them by use-by date in the box. And since I only keep the opened packages in my wide drawer this prevents having multiple packages of the same item opened.

I always remember the conversation I had with a husky owner in our neighborhood...he said they eat cats. (This wasn't said in a threatening way like, "Keep your cats out of my yard, lady" either, just as a matter of fact.)

I'm sorry about your dog! I hope he/she heals quickly. If you decide to go with the mismatched china, I wonder how the plates will hold up when you're stacking them in your cupboard. I'd be worried about getting chipped plates if they don't stack up neatly on top of each other. Maybe you can find an estate sale and get a complete set instead?

I recently watched a you tube video made by a high school teacher in Houston of a walking tour in what she calls a "wealthy" neighborhood. She goes around insulting the expensive "mini mansions" and "mcmansions", including their lawns, but clearly approves of smaller "original houses". The funny thing is that this woman's you tube channel is devoted to expensive things like designer handbags, jewelry, and other things she considers luxury living. Her Christmas haul video begins with a disclaimer about how she realizes that it's "excess" and not everyone can be surrounded by Chanel, Dior, Louis Vuitton, and other high-end shopping bags of stuff that she buys for herself or that other people give her...and in her mind this must mean that she's absolved, unlike the people who live in mcmansions but don't post a sign on their "weird" rich people lawn to acknowledge their excess/privilege to passersby. I don't know if this is an example of reverse snobbery, or just a case of sour grapes. (And P.S. Houston...you must be paying your teachers too much.)

I have Lenox casual china. My pattern has been discontinued, but I chose it for the same "dainty" reason as you! I also have two different sets of melamine dishes (4 place settings each) that we use for lunch...one is Butterfly Meadow and it's so cheerful and pretty! I looked at your link to French Perle Bead. It's pretty, but I think it would bug me to drink out of the mugs because of the beading. Have fun making your choice! (Just adding that Lenox isn't all made in the USA...I've seen "imported" in the descriptions)

This year has been a challenge for everyone, even Santa and his staff. Leave extra cookies! Edited because I don't want to be on the naughty list! Apparently Santa isn't the only celebrity in the you tube video. Sorry! (But I still like the Xfinity Santa commercial that you can search for at you tube if you haven't already seen it.)

This is so interesting, now that I know that my son probably won't die from the carton of milk I bought. I just searched for ropy yogurt and found instructions from someone who makes and eats what he called his heirloom yogurt called viili. He admits it looks like Nickelodeon gak, but he eats it and lives to tell about it. I'll take his word for it that it's delicious since I'm not an adventurous eater!

Thank you. I've been so worried about my son. The city where I live is doomed. All the stores around here have the same problems, and sadly from what I've experienced this one is one of the better places.

My googling left me confused. It sounded to me like there are different causes for this ropiness. We won't be using the rest of the carton, but I've been worried about whether my son can still get sick from it.

This is a big concern of mine. I shop really early in the morning, and it always bothers me to find random foods that require refrigeration left out on shelves next the pasta or something. It happens a lot, and when I see something like this I always give it to someone working at the store so they can throw it away, but it does make me paranoid about the cold stuff that I buy. When I take things from the cold and freezer sections I usually take the package or carton that is behind the one of front, just in case someone has just put the one in front back in the cold after it sat out all night. (I know this doesn't guarantee anything, but I do it anyway.) I know that they have problems at the store where I shop with people coming into the store at night and they hang around, put things into shopping carts so they look like they're legitimate shoppers, but then walk out later saying they don't have any money.

Thank you! Yes, it's pasteurized.

I don't know what happened to the carton before I brought it home, but I know it was stored at the right temp. in our refrigerator because I have a thermometer in the fridge in addition to the built-in temp controls and I check it. (I'm definitely a fanatic about food safety.)

This is a carton of lactose-free 2% milk that I bought at the grocery store. The strings looked like mucus.