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About Ivey

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    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

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  1. According to my 16yo fashion guru, there is a trend in some areas for teens to wear "mom jeans" ironically, but they buy them from teen brands (like these ones from Hollister) or from vintage stores. The Eddie Bauer jeans you linked are "real" mom jeans and would be very out of place in any high school. If the "mom jean" trend hasn't hit your area, skinny jeans / jeggings really are the only trendy style of jeans for teenage girls. The Aeropostale pair you linked look great, especially in navy! Tight, light-colored jeans do tend to highlight curves, so sticking with darker colors might be a compromise you can both live with?
  2. We're in the same boat as you - we signed an IEP two weeks ago for our always-homeschooled 14-year-old with ASD2 who will be starting public high school in the fall. He's set up to take a full academic course load, without any non-academic interventions, so we'll have to keep up his therapy and interventions outside of school. I'm satisfied with the IEP as it stands, but I know it will take some time for Ds to learn to make appropriate use of his accommodations and we will likely have to make some adjustments depending on what works and what doesn't. I have a good relationship with the high school guidance counselor (my older son has been in the school for two years) and he, the middle school guidance counselor, the middle school special ed teacher, and the school psych all contributed to or reviewed the IEP. Ds will also be assigned a special education teacher as his "case manager", but we won't know who that is until the fall. Ds does have an LD in written expression ("partially remediated", according to the school psych report!), so he'll be in a co-taught English class with a special education teacher to work on writing goals and help with AT. Otherwise, he'll be in regular education classes (honors just for math) with a slew of accommodations - taking tests in a quiet testing room with extended time, completing assignments in the resource or testing room when he needs a break from the classroom, breaks from class as needed either in the sensory room, resource room, or a lounge outside the guidance office, etc. A big one for me is that the teachers will be required to provide him with copies of notes for every class, so he hopefully won't be too afraid of missing things. Ds has also visited the school several times, and will visit again the week before school starts to meet all of his teachers. We did ask about having non-curricular classes or a study hall in his schedule, but the guidance counselor explained that several years ago the district mandated that all students on the diploma track be on a 4-year graduation plan, so they no longer have any non-curricular courses for diploma-track students. He said if Ds were to be placed in a "social skills" class now, Ds's classmates would mostly be non-verbal. Ds will be allowed to have a study hall in his schedule after freshman year if he earns an extra credit by playing on a school sports team or taking a summer school class. So I've already signed him up for cross-country lol.
  3. We have a simple plastic Fisher Price kitchen that has lasted through six boys (and hundreds of cousins/friends). It's still in my basement for the occasional young guest and ready for when the yet-to-be-born grandkids visit. My older boys played with it until they were at least 7 or 8 - they would type up menus and take dinner reservations, so they couldn't have been much younger. I don't think it's odd at all that a 7-year-old would want one and I think most 3-year-olds would enjoy it, especially with a sibling to play with.
  4. Your daughter absolutely handled this the right way. My 21yo has Aspergers and the girls he's gone out with have mostly done the same thing - kept things very friendly/positive while on the date, then clearly let him know that they're not interested in a second date by text.
  5. We usually play a few rounds of charades after dinner. There's no prep work, so no one is put out if people don't feel like playing.
  6. One of my sons was able to work through a course syllabus independently, coming to me for help like he would to an outside instructor, by his senior year of high school. Another got there by his sophomore year. They (and my 16yo who is now in public school) could follow a daily checklist much earlier (4th grade?), but we only used them when I was sick or unable to teach for whatever reason.
  7. My youngest is 10, so we're on the tail end of this and definitely doing things differently than many of the younger parents in our area. We always let our kids eat the candy. When we had lots of kids ToTing, they would set up trades on Halloween night, and then eat from their own stash for a few weeks until I wanted to wash the pillowcases. At that point, I'd dump it all into a bowl and it was fair game for everyone. The last couple years, our younger kids have been willing to share with each other and the rest of us, so they just put it in a few bowls from the start.
  8. I struggled with insomnia until my late twenties, but since then have been able to fall asleep in 10-20 minutes. I use the trick I learned back then - telling myself the same boring story every night until I fall asleep, recapping and then making very minimal progress each night. I've spent the last several months telling myself what's happened to Izzie since she left Grey's Anatomy. Spoiler: Her life is nice and boring so that I can fall asleep more quickly.
  9. My oldest son has a friend who won around $4 million. He was a year or two out of college, and went back to get a Master's degree in mathematical finance. So he's probably doing okay. I also have an older relative who is much more financially comfortable than would be typical for someone in his line of work (teaching high school), because of the investments he made in the tech industry in the early 1980s. I would suspect good investments, a side business, or a large inheritance before a lottery win if someone I knew seemed to have more money than they seem to be making.
  10. My adult son borrowed one of these from a friend to try out and decided not to buy one for himself. He found that he couldn't actually work while pedalling, perhaps because his legs are so long, but he did like the way he could have one foot on each pedal and kind of "seesaw" the pedals back and forth. I tried it very briefly and understood what he meant. Instead of using it as it's intended, he liked it as more of a fidget toy for his feet?
  11. Neither of my boys (14 & 21) attended social skills classes at that age, but Ds14 is participating in the PEERS teen class this semester, and I am hoping Ds21 will be open to taking the young adult class some time soon. Looking back, I can see that starting social skills classes a little earlier could have been beneficial (I wish the PEERS class had been around when Ds21 was 14), but 8 is very young and I feel like the skills taught at that level can likely be taught through other means. Kids that young also tend to do better with shorter, more frequent sessions, so meeting weekly may not be the best format. The teen class meets weekly for 90 minutes, and the parents meet at the same time with another facilitator to learn how we can help our kids apply their new skills throughout the week. He comes away each week with homework, which he (so far) has really enjoyed and has completed with enthusiasm. They have a very thorough intake process, and one of the criteria for being accepted is that the teen is highly motivated to improve their social skills and relationship. My son says that all the kids pay attention, try their best, and complete the homework, and we haven't heard of any disruptive behavior so far. We pay roughly $100/week, and the program is 16 weeks long.
  12. Based on that policy, you are not obligated to report him. Do what you feel is right.
  13. I was taught James' in school, but have taught my kids that either is fine as long as you're consistent. My son James prefers James's.
  14. Yes, my older kids have been traveling alone internationally since they were about 15 (usually to meet up with my husband on the tail end of a business trip, no crazy adventures until much later). The only real obstacle we've encountered is finding hotels in North America that will allow teens under 18 to stay without an adult. In other countries, it hasn't been an issue, and we've never had trouble with airlines or any other transportation agencies.
  15. BakersDozen - I'm so sorry that you're in such an impossible situation. I do hope that her in-laws are keeping an eye on her. From my experience and my kids', things seem to move a lot more quickly than they did 30 years ago. When I was dating, we went out once or twice a week and didn't hang out in between except for the occasional lunch date, which was definitely a "date". After a few months of "dating", we'd become a couple. Now, young people seem to spend a lot more time together, which means that they get to know each other and become emotionally invested in a fraction of the time. My 19yo broke up with his longterm girlfriend in July, after dating for about three years. They're both very independent and went off to different colleges last year, which seems to have turned the relationship into more of a friendship, and neither of them seem to have been too upset about it. I really, really like her and I know she was good for him. I think they'll remain friends. He's since jumped into the college dating scene, and I'm glad she set such a high standard. I absolutely adore my oldest son's boyfriend of nearly two years. They were friends for several years before becoming involved romantically and I liked him from the moment I met him. He's gentle, level-headed, and a natural caretaker, and I absolutely hope that they last.
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