I also straddle the East-West divide, and follow the same Rule of (When In) Rome. My first thought at reading the OP was to wonder if it was a cultural issue. :)

I kept thinking the same thing! It's nice to see I'm not alone in the gutter. :lol:

Prayers for your entire family. Especially for you - how hard it must feel to be so far away at a time like this. :sad:

The weird thing is that I'm in Texas! They must've jumped on the bandwagon. :( 5% at fault? Really?? I just don't get it.

We were at a four-way stop and she went through it like a stoplight (meaning, she followed the car in front of her into the intersection without giving the other directions a turn). But no, she didn't admit fault and she claimed to both of our insurance agents that I was in the wrong. Fortunately, she was in front of an on-duty police officer who witnessed it and filled out our report. His report stated the other driver was at fault BUT that I had an obligation to avoid a collision (which apparently I didn't do). He based that on my report that I didn't even see her coming into the intersection (my car rides tall, hers was small and at the point of collision - in my blind spot). That's where my 20% comes in, apparently. Boo. I have USAA, who found the other driver 100% at fault; they told me I could protest All State's decision and told me explicitly what to say. I called All State who said that without any new evidence, they wouldn't revisit their decision. Boo again. Meanwhile, the girl goes to school with my nephew and since I'm not repairing the car any how I didn't blink at the 20% at fault. I did bitch about it for a good 3 days to any one who would listen, out of principle, but it was the insinuation and not the money that had me all worked up. LOL I just called All State again and left a voicemail. This thread was the kick in the pants I needed to get going. I'm going to take your suggestion, get an estimate from their guy, and ask for the check. I'm such a dolt, thank you for the help.

Really? That's good to know. Is this like some kind of law or something, or does it depend on the insurance company? I'm so clueless. Like the OP, I was hit and wondered about collecting on the insurance when I knew I wasn't going to put it into car repairs. This thread was good for me to read, thanks to everyone who contributed. I wasn't hit by a co-worker, but by a young driver who had been licensed only a week. She ended up with a concussion and a brand new car that insurance totalled out. I ended up with a damaged hood, dented front panel and half of my front bumper is hanging down. The only non-cosmetic damage is to the little thing that holds my washer fluid; it's the only thing I'd like to have fixed. My car is three years old and paid off. This damage is significant but not the only blemishes on the car because I'm rough on the car. The cosmetic stuff doesn't bother me, I don't care that it looks like a beater. LOL It's been two months and I haven't yet taken in the car because I didn't know if I should. Her insurance agency is All State and says they'll pay 80% of the repairs. So I just have to take it in for an estimate, give that estimate to her insurance, then ask them to cut me a check directly (based on the estimate)?

I liked Lara's post because I agree with her! To add more, it seems counter-intuitive but goes along with Lara's theory: oil to remove oil. I have super greasy hair and part of what helped was to reduce the number of washings. There was a not-pretty but necessary period during which my hair (first fought back, and then) adjusted. Three cheers for hats and 'do rags. Now I wash twice a week, using cornstarch as a dry shampoo once between wash days. To de-grease I use coconut oil; just a touch, and she may need help washing it out but it truly does eliminate grease/oil. Dawn probably does, too, as suggested above; I use it on my dog but didn't want the smell on my own hair. Also, does your daughter often touch her bangs - move them out of her face, or otherwise subject them to a lot of hand touches? That could exacerbate already oil-prone hair. I do this, especially when studying or housecleaning. I hate wearing things on my hair but I suck it up and put on a headband or bandana to do school or chores, and it helps some. I think tea-tree is drying. I tried using it for my scalp and it helped in the short-term but was worse in the long-run. I was once a week with T-Gel, which I used the tea tree to hope to avoid, and once a week with whatever is in the bathroom I happen to use. My son uses Lush, my daughter uses Bed Head, and I keep a jar of coconut oil in my bathroom.

I have four great-aunts (my mom's sisters) and three great-great-aunts (my grandmother's sisters) that sound like you, OP. When we were kids, it'd be every holiday. Now the great-great aunts usually stick to birthdays and Christmas, but my kids still get Valentine's Day, Easter & Halloween cards from the great-aunts. All of our kids do, and we're breeders so it's no small army! The lesser holidays usually produce a card with the aforementioned stickers, scratch-off ticket, pocket craft, movie ticket, etc. The bigger holidays bring something a bit more substantial but still do-able when you're buying (and shipping!) for 23+ grand and great neices and nephews. One great-aunt's thing is book gift cards. It used to be Walden's Books, and is now Barnes & Noble. As a kid I got $5, which actually bought a book back then, and now she gives kids $10 until they hit married-with-children status at which point the adult is dropped off and the child assumes the gift. LOL Another aunt sends crisp $2 bills, which is always exciting for some reason, even for little ones. I have a collection of crisp $2s that I could never bring myself to spend, to which my kids' annual gift of a crisp $2 is being added. It's going to be the only inheritence my kids get, I think! I tell you what, there is nothing I look more forward to at Christmas than my one great-great aunt's book gift card! For decades the anticipation has been so great, and I'd spend November looking for JUST the right book. My brother isn't a reader, and has been giving me his gift card for 30 years. LOL Even though it's never been his favorite gift, he still asks every day in December if our card from Auntie has come in yet. There's just something awesome about the tradition of it all. So that gets my vote. It's also easily re-gifted. ;) I don't have and great-nieces or nephews yet, but I do send my cousins' kids restaurant gift cards every year for their birthdays. Not a lot, just $5-10 for McD or Sonic or somewhere to get a shake or treat. I already dibs'd the book gift cards when my great-aunt is ready to retire the commitment. Yes, I'm that relative. :p

I find it cathartic to chop, so I've never been a fan of the chopper thing but everyone else I know seems to love them. Pizza stones are pretty awesome. I use mine for baking cookies, which always turn out super fabulous - crispy bottoms and chewy tops. This is a bit off the beaten path, but another kitchen thing I love isn't quite a gadget. It's those rails that eliminate the gap between the counter and the stovetop. But really, my favorite kitchen gadget is my little Pampered Chef scraper. That thing rocks my world and has so many uses. LOL

I haven't read the book but I'm familar with the man and his concept of flow. It has had zero impact on my homeschooling, but it's been eye-opening in terms of (how I view and accommodate) my kids' hobbies and other interests.

Can you email it? I tend to get pretty wordy also. This whole text/email revolution has worked wonders for my self-editing ability!

I give flat out nos to large organizations (soccer association, religious ed., etc.) where it's usually a box to check on the registration form. For more intimate situations (piano, judo, co-ops, scouts, etc.) I personally ask the teacher which is preferable for her: the flat out no, or the first name only. I don't mind first name only but if I did, I'd mention the use of an alias instead. I say I'm uncomfortable consenting to my child's image and have a blanket policy to restrict it until he's of reasonable maturity and age to consent on his own (and that time is not now). I let them know that I sincerely wish to help promote their business in any way I can, within that boundary. I've only had one unreasonable reaction. A religious ed. teacher was upset her class couldn't be used in church literature pamphlets and tried to coerce, then bully me, into changing my mind. She failed.

My 8 year old wants a horse. Hopefully she's happy with one of the stuffed variety. She's also getting a room makeover - and the gift is I will be completely hands off. If she wants the walls painted rainbow with a panda bear border, and hot pink fur trim valances atop zebra curtains - who am I to deter her? I have just over a month to convince myself that "It's just a room. It's her room. If she loves it and can live with it, there's no reason she shouldn't be able to." This is the biggest gift I've ever given! LOL On second thought, a horse might be easier .... My 13 year old wants cash. He's building some desktops and he wants parts. He'd also like a better watch. Every year I buy balls. All types - soccer, basketball, whiffle, racquetball, nerf types, bouncy, etc. We play with balls in the house, and our layout is conducive to nerf ball wars. Every kid I've ever met - even non-athletic types - have loved some kind of ball, at any ages. It's my go-to gift if I don't know what to get, and it's always been played with on the spot.

I live in the same suburb (pop. 15,000) as my parents and an uncle (plus wife, cousins), plus my brother is in the nearby metroplex about 30 minutes away. We all get together at least once a week for family dinner. I see my brother 1-2 times a week outside of that, and I see my parents daily. When I was married and we were active duty, I moved home for every deployment and visited my parents at least once a month. I was usually able to make a work trip out of it, which was convenient. I have two sisters in one state, and two brothers in another state. Visits to my sisters are frequent - every 6-8 weeks. They live near our 91 year old grandma and they have my nephews. Visits to my brothers are less frequent, about once a year. They're just busier and younger and harder to nail down for a visit! :) I'm usually the one who does the visiting because I have the most flexible schedule and I've accrued tons of airmiles to use. My ex-in-laws live two states over. At minimum I fly my kids out three times a year for a two-week visit. I stay a week and their dad stays a week because the in-laws are nice but crazy. I fly them out for other family events also, which adds another 1-2 short visits each year for weddings, funerals, etc. They have an open invitation to visit my state to see the kids, and they definitely take advantage. We see them every month, between our visits to them and their visits to us. Family is a huge reason why we homeschool, and visits are a priority. Even visits with the crazy contingent.

I have a good memory in terms of events, but it's poor when it comes to dates and places. So like you, OP, I'd remember having the test but not when/where I had it. Like another poster I moved every 12-18 months, but unlike that poster this only made my poor memory worse. I can't remember where I lived, when, or how old my kids were (or which kids lived there with me). I also spent a lot of time flying out of town for my own job, so I basically stopped paying attention to dates and places. LOL I date things by music and movies. I'll remember what was on the radio, what CDs I bought, and/or what movies I saw in theaters or on the airplane. A quick internet search lets me know the general date of any given event.

It's not a problem for my kids. LOL My younger one thinks it's some kind of high honor or family obligation to preserve the fashion choices of my older one. I have no idea why - they are different genders and have enough years between them that styles change by the time the hand-me-downs fully cycle from one kid to the next. Whatever, man. It allows me to keep their stuff in one closet and re-allocate the kids' clothing budget to something more fun ... like my Starbucks habit. :001_tt1:

This is how I'd probably handle it also. I've busted my own laptop making dumb on the spot decisions, so I get that accidents happen. I give credit for owning the mistake and (her) assuming she's responsible for the repairs. I'd let her own the mistake by (her) paying for the repairs. I wouldn't bust her balls over it, but I also wouldn't deny/deprive her the opportunity/experience to own the mistake - and make it right - by paying for some/most of the repairs. I'd take her onhand cash towards the repairs, but would assume any outstanding balance. I'd also spring for an awesome lunch or scooby snacks on the day(s) she and Daddy spent fixing it. Lessons are important, but so are relationships. She's prioritized the sibling relationship over a tangible product, so I'd say she gets an A+ on the lesson generated by the broken laptop!

We write them. I like the practice it gives the kids - composing a letter, cursive, addressing an envelope, et cetera. Plus I just think it's good for the kids to do. Probably because I always had to, and I delight in making them re-live the high- and lowlights of my childhood. LOL We write them for all gifts which are mailed, but we also send them as a follow-up to some people even if those people were present at the unwrapping. Usually those are people who live far away or are relatives who like hearing from the kids any chance they get (grandparents, great aunts, etc.) I also have my kids write thank you notes at the end of the year, to coaches and other volunteers (religious ed., scouts, etc.). I think it's important the kids acknowledge the "gift" of someone's time and talent. Sometimes we include a gift card or chocolates or something, not always, but there's always a card!

There's nothing more cathartic, is there? :) I can usually keep the radio to a respectable level, but all bets are off when I'm stuck in traffic. And TOOL is my go to music for traffic because it keeps me from flying into a road rage. I get some looks. Might be the bass, might be my bad harmonies ... who knows ... it's all good ...

She's using her kids as pawns to get stuff ... will she also use them as pawns if you put your foot down? I ask, just because if so this issue goes far beyond money and you have decide which is more disposable: the money or the relationship with your neices and nephews. And that sounds like a sucky place to find oneself in. You may have to play her game, using ideas suggested by egregg23. Or you may have to do the tough love thing, knowing it may hurt your own kids a few times but may ultimately get your sister's act together. Like the hiking situation - let your kids feel (and share) that disappointment that Auntie didn't plan well and wouldn't take out the money. Let her look her own kids in the face and then turn the car around for $8. I'm generally a fan of putting it all out on the table. That approach doesn't work with everyone, though; sometimes you have to play their game WITH them. You know her well enough to know which person she is. If you can put it out there, just let her know, "Hey, I can't finance your amazon habit so once you paypal me the money I'll gladly use my app to place the order." And if you can't go the honest route, then volley back: "Oh, darn it, the website must have a glitch, I'm not getting through either. Hmm. Shoot, oh well, hopefully it's back up for you soon!" But it may well be that you have to fund little things to keep the kids in your life. Some adults are stupid that way.

Isn't it funny how our experiences shape us? I find the interruption to be more rude - not necessarily the interruption itself, but that so many employees find it challenging to multi-task. So then the interruption stops my transaction/interaction as the employee puts it to the side, even for a second and even for a pleasant enough request, to address the needs of someone else. If I weren't comfortable calling to the back, I'd just wait or leave - not interrupt. I've run into this as a customer, but I've dealt with it also as the front employee. Oh, and as a parent! LOL So those experiences definitely influence what I see as the rude, ruder, rudest options here. Your post gives me pause to consider that the interrupting patron might see that as being the less rude option. I'm glad you posted, TracyP.

My 13 year old says he wishes I'd be wrong more often. He hates it when things turn out the way I predicted they would, but what can I say? I'm a writer; I know people and plotlines. LOL

I think of rude as an attitude, more than an action. Sure, some actions are rude ... but I think the attitude behind them matters more. I understand why your child thought you were rude, but I think that might be more a reaction of a less mature/experienced individual. She'll probably get it more as she ages and experiences similar situations. Maybe not, maybe it's just her personality! But I know what used to mortify me as a child is now something I'm apt to do as an adult (to the mortification of MY child)!

I don't mind loud music, but I mind BAD music - at any level, but especially at loud. Some people's tastes .... ;) I'm not a fan of dialogue during tv/movies. I'm generally the last person to jump on the Train of Technological Advances, but I was *ALL OVER* the whole pause button and DVR options when those became available. They are the sliced bread of my life. My daughter processes by thinking aloud, so watching reality shows or competitions or sports games with her drives me nuts. The pause button has saved our relationship, and allows us each our respective quirks. Hers to speak, mine to have her not speak. :lol:

jjhat 7 had great advice. For me, it'd also depend on how old my kids are.