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Ripley

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Everything posted by Ripley

  1. I'm in my late 30s, and retired earlier this year. I love(d) my job but my ex-husband offered to match my full-time salary and retirement if I'd stay home full-time with the kids. Since I only worked part-time most months, this was too good of an offer to refuse. When I retired, I moved near my parents. I plan to stay here for as long as they're here and kicking. Eventually I'd like to retire near my (grand)children, and help out however I can. That might be working so my daughter or daughter-in-law can stay home with the kids, or it might be staying home with the kids so the child's mom can work - I'm flexible. I can live anywhere my family is.
  2. I'm having Starbucks for breakfast again. LOL Today it's brew tea and parfait. I like the hot/cold juxtaposition in my mouth. :)
  3. I hole up for a few days and watch television. Not just a show but, like, an entire series; every season that's available. The highs, the lows, the watching of other people dealing with their ruts destructively or productively ... it's usually enough to get me out of my own rut. 2009, all 6 seasons of Judging Amy 2010, all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls in 8 days. It was a rough rut. ;) 2011, The Office (UK) followed by The Office (US). 2012, 5 seasons of Mad Men - which reminds me, I haven't caught up on the 6th season yet ... 2013, all three seasons of Shameless (US) and both seasons of Scandal over 10 days I don't watch much tv, and I don't follow what's on or who's who, so it's always new to me. I ask friends for recommendations, and my only requirement is that the show is at least two seasons in. I don't like teasers, which is what one-season shows are (to me). LOL I also get new lipstick. That's a carryover from when I was younger. My ex-husband can tell my general state of mind by how bold or dark my lipstick is!
  4. Echoing others who suggested to matter-of-factly remind the (1) it's not always fun being the teacher, either, and (2) I put effort into making it work, and I need them to match or exceed those efforts. It's not spoken with a threatening tone, but it's certainly put out there. When all else fails I remind mine that parenting isn't all fun, right? There are sleepless nights, poopy bottoms, cranky/whiny days ... ;) ... and those aren't the highlights, but they're a necessary part of the gig. Same is true of schoolwork. It's not all fun, exciting, or seemingly worthwhile but it's part of the gig. Take two minutes to hate that fact, to hate the material, then buck up and git 'er done! Does your son play sports or an instrument? It's like having to practice basic drills/scales for the millionth time when you really want to focus on learning the maradona or a sonata. You're not going to master the move or piece without a solid knowledge of the boring basics. Schoolwork = boring basics = necessary evil = not going anywhere = goes faster/better with the right attitude.
  5. I wonder if the church event thing came up after the invite was extended, and they just didn't connect the dots (early night for their daughter conflicting with late night for your kids on UFC night) until that night. I'm guessing they called their adult kid(s) to check in, heard or were told the 7 year old was still up, and were working on the fly to figure out how they were going to get their kid to bed at a decent hour for the church event. I figure their minds were wrapped up on not being there, worried about the early morning church event, and not even thinking about how to better word their real concern: how to get their 7 year old to bed when it was already past her bedtime. Maybe she was supposed to have been in bed before everyone even arrived, and the adult kids just didn't think about it or neglected to see that she did. I might feel taken aback and a bit stung about the text, and pissed about missing the fight. I wouldn't do anything, nor would I take it personally or read too much into it - I really don't think it was done with the intent of ruining your night or suggesting anything negative about your kids. When I was working I was usually the one who was out-of-town, calling home to find out things hadn't gone the way I planned/asked/expected, and then me being my control freak worrywort self anxious about the anticipated fallout from deviating from my plans/requests/expectations (real or imagined!) and blurting things out the wrong way.
  6. The purpose is to make a mess and memories. Eating is unnecessary - and even discouraged - once it's built. It can be a creative outlet, a contest, a way to pass a snow day, and an excuse to snack on gross candies. My in-laws HOA sponsors a contest every year. Every year my kids and their cousins gather at my MIL's for an afternoon of gingerbread house building. The houses are displayed at the rec center for a week, are voted on, then they come home where they remain on display at my MIL's through Christmas. There's really no point to them. LOL My kids love the experience because it's a family tradition; if they hadn't ever done it, I don't think they'd miss it. If it's an iffy expense this year, this is one of those things that is personality-dependent moreso than age-dependent (as far as how enjoyable it will/can be) - it can wait, they're not likely to outgrow it the way they might be some other holiday experiences. And it doesn't have to be limited to Christmas and gingerbread. About 1-2 times a year on monsoon days my mom would bake us each a cake and ice it plain. Then she'd break out all of her sprinkles, colors, dyes, nibs, fancy icing tools and whatnot and let us decorate. :)
  7. St. Nicholas' feast day falls in the early part of Advent - we celebrate the day on its closest weekend with a huge party at my in-laws. As they arrive, kids leave a shoe by the door. At some point during the party the doorbell rings and in walks St. Nick himself. The real St. Nick, not the Thomas Nast lookin' guy. LOL He's left an orange and a bag of gold chocolate coins in each kids shoe. Then he walks around handing candy croziers to the kids and visits with adults for the rest of the party. At home, on the actual feast day, we play ding-dong-ditch with our favorite neighbors. We put together little goodie bags of cider or cocoa mix, gold chocolate coins, homemade spiced cookies, and a prayer card or note of blessings/good wishes (depending on the recipient). We say a prayer for the neighbor, then one of the kids runs up to her door, hangs the goodie bag from the doorknob, rings the bell, and runs off. The little kids in the neighborhood especially love it. That's also the day we shop for our Angel Tree recipients. On St. Lucia's feast day we do our christmas light drive - Starbucks, pajamas, and a car ride through the neighborhoods looking at lights. I hate Christmas carols, but this is the one night I allow them. With minimal complaining and eye-rolling. LOL We buy our tree on the 23rd-24th and decorate it on the 25th. My friend puts up her tree sometime during the first week of Advent. Once it's up, her advent calendar is filled with ornaments - each kid gets one per day to put up on the tree. By Christmas the tree is all set to go! We light our advent wreath every day at our family meal. Oh, and we break out the purple tablecloth. On the fireplace we keep a jar of straw, and a small handmade wooden crib for each kid. When we witness the child doing a kind deed, we put a pinch of straw in her crib. The idea is to make a soft bed for baby Jesus over the course of Advent. On Christmas Eve the kids are sent on a scavenger hunt to find their small handmade Jesus statues and they place Him in their cribs. This is a tradition from my ex-husband's family and country. We also have several nativity sets. We don't put the pieces all out at once, we make them journey across the living room in elapsed time. LOL
  8. I don't own one or anything like one, so I'm no help. Forget figuring out how to use it, I can't figure out if it's VEE-ta-mix or VIE-ta-mix!
  9. What are commercials? :tongue_smilie: I don't watch anything in real time; it's all DVR'd so I can fast forward through commercials. The commercial I last remembering hating the most involved The Noid. I avoided more than the Noid ... I avoided the entire food chain starting then, and still to this day. I can hold a mean grudge. LOL
  10. Open shelves in a closet, but sometimes I leave 1-2 games out on the (dedicated game) table. That keeps the room looking neater and still encourages game play. If things are packed away, I forget about them; but if they're out in the open and I see them too much, they fade into the scenery. (It's complicated in my head! LOL)
  11. I do it without hesitation - even things like nuts, that won't be cooked. I also use shopping carts without wiping them down with the available sanityzing wipes. LOL Mom always said I was a daredevil. :coolgleamA:
  12. Heartbreaking. :( But you know, two positives: the first is that the daughter is telling her mom now. She's not stuffing it, denying it, or otherwise trying to deal with those feelings herself. She's not letting it manifest in some other harmful form. That right there is a testament to the young women, and also a nod to the type of mother who raised her. The second positive is that the daughter's answer backs that up. She didn't keep the secret because her mother is an ogre; she kept it because she was acting in a 6-8 year old frame of mind. She was told not to tell, and she didn't. The daughter keeping the secret is a reflection of the daughter's age at the time of violation; NOT of her mom's parenting. Guilt is to be expected, and I pray for your friend as she works to forgive herself. How horrible it must feel to think you were responsible for such a heinous thing to happen on your watch. And yet, she's the kind of mom who prepared her daughter for the likelihood of abuse happening and (by doing so) most likely gave the daughter confidence to (finally) speak out once she emotionally matured beyond the incidents. I hope counseling helps her to realize all of that.
  13. The first time I was in Florida, the second time in California; both times it was the same US-based company. It was a great situation. Even better was that I requested (and got) 3 years off after each kid, with no loss in seniority. Neither pregnancy was planned, so it was nice that everything worked out so well. We were required to go on maternity leave/disability at 28 weeks, but most women I knew went long before that. A few worked until forced leave, but they were usually the family breadwinners or planned to quit once the baby was born (and were stockpiling money while they could). My counterparts at European companies go on maternity leave or light duty much earlier, which is even nicer. :)
  14. Both times I waited until I was asked, which was around 4-5 months. The only people who knew were my parents. I only told them because my dad and I worked for the same company, and I didn't want my manager (who released me to maternity leave at 5 weeks) to blindside my dad at work with congratulations. My work friends knew because they could see the type of leave I was on. The second time my preschooler prompted me to test. He dreamt I was pregnant, asked me if it was true, and I realized I didn't remember my last cycle started. So he and I went to the doctor, and learned I was nine weeks along. I sat on it through the weekend, called my parents Monday morning and my manager that afternoon. I went on maternity leave that day, so work friends knew then. I only let my preschooler in on it because he got the ball rolling; if he hadn't, I'd have kept him in the dark until he figured it out from my parents or me showing. I also believe life begins at conception, but pregnancy isn't a huge announce-worthy deal (for me). I don't mind that others feel differently, and I'm happy to celebrate the pregnancy announcements of friends ... it's just not my gig.
  15. I don't think it's more trusting,it's just more relating to a certain personality type. I'm an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of gal, and I relate to the OP's husband. When we went from pay stubs to auto-deposit, I gave up trying to understand and keep up with it. I don't check my bank balance, my credit card balances, or my fridge for butter ... I just go with the flow on a wing and a prayer and hope it all works out. I do think he might have been as casual about it if he thought he were underpaid. It's a personality type. And the OP might've looked more like: Is it de-masculating for me to call DH's work to find out what's going on with his paycheck, since he won't? :lol:
  16. It's fine that we disagree. LOL When I read posts 1 and 7 by the OP, my impression is that it was an honest mistake based on confusion re: his pay schedule and contract. I don't presume to know how hard it would have been for him to get out his contract to verify the details. Maybe it was hard, or he was lazy, or life got busy - who knows but he? But it's a non-issue and an irrelevent bias: he didn't check. Could've, Would've, and Should've don't count for nearly as much as we lend them credit. He didn't suspect he was being overpaid; he suspected he was mistaken about his salary and he was mistaken about his commission wages. I don't get how the number of occurrences influences your opinion of his honesty, because if his head is buried in the sand ... it's buried. Not just for one paycheck, but for a period of paychecks. Dishonest would be him digging up his contract, realizing he was in an overpayment situation, and sitting on that information while it continued. The details provided by the OP may show that the DH is an ostrich, or any host of "what kind of person" adjectives - but it's a leap from those to dishonest.
  17. My impression is that yes, it's (an honest) question. Like the OP, I often wonder if I've misunderstood the details. I also am scatter-brained, so if I don't deal with something right at that moment, it gets shoved to the side (and sometimes forgotten about). Different personalities and all of that. Seems like it was an honest enough mistake on her husband's part, not some nefarious plot to deceive, embezzle, and get online permission to keep the funds. Mercy.
  18. That's funny. Mine has done the same, down to the flinging of the sock! Also, he'll sometimes stand in the middle of the room and twist his torso so that his arms flail around like a scared octopus. I neverknow whether to slap him back to sanity or to laugh - now I know the answer is to snap and post a picture of it. :)
  19. Starbucks: coffee, tomato/mozarella panini, the last bite of my son's oatmeal, and the last two bites of my daughter's greek yogurt. Cuz I have food waste issues. LOL
  20. My grandma said to remember that you're always serving as an example to others, and it was up to you to be the good example or the bad one. I guess that's how I see my role in changing the world: to be one or the other, and inspiring people one way or the other!
  21. I recently retired from a company of 88,000 employees. I was overpaid on a regular basis due to how they issued paychecks - the 1st paycheck of the month was based on anticipated hours, the 2nd paycheck of the month reconciled any issues with the paycheck going back 6 weeks (aka the previous month's 1st paycheck). My particular position had flex hours, so for any given pay period an employee could work anywhere from zero hours to double time. Every time I was overpaid, the full amount would be deducted from my next paycheck(s) until paid in full. There was no reasonable pay back period. LOL It was a headache keeping track of hours and trying to budget around such a chaotic pay schedule. So I stopped trying. It was my tax guy who realized I had been shorted almost $4000 over a year. When I contacted the company, they said it would take eight weeks to process. It took ten to get my check from them! I think there's legal responsibility and ethical responsibility. I think it's shared on both sides equally for my situation and also the OP's.
  22. I'm still an extrovert but, like Dandelion, parenthood has me valuing more pockets of downtime.
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