I live in the Bible Belt. My own city was "dry" until about 2 years ago, and my country is "moist" - limited sales allowed. It's the norm, here, for a non-profit to be alcohol-free. This is especially true of Christian organizations. But I'm Catholic, and Irish, and we love us a good drink. LOL Yes, I can enjoy myself without it, and no I wouldn't be frustrated. I can think of some situations where the absence of alcohol might prove disappointing, moreso from the angle of expectations than from any true inability to have fun without it. If my spouse drags me to, or my membership in said organization mandates my presence at, a fundraiser - alcohol can be a great relaxer to get me in the mood after a long week at work or weeks of planning. It's not unlike the morning desire for coffee. Both elicit mood changes, and are socially acceptable in that context. If this is one of a few nights I rank worthy enough to leave young kids at home, I might like a glass of wine or a mixed drink. The event might be serving as a first or rare adult outing, and a drink might be the icing on the cake. It's not necessary to have fun, but if it was expected then it's reasonable to feel disappointed that YOUR idea of a date night ... wasn't in alignment with the planners' idea of a great event. And last, fundraisers can be exhausting. I used to organize an annual gala, and part of that was attending the events that others put on so they'd support mine in turn. Alcohol isn't necessary for fun, but it certainly helps animate some and relax others - both of those make for an easier time mingling. It's especially true when you're there out of obligation. Some people have trained themselves to rely on it (the way some rely on coffee in the morning to perk up), so to show up and feel ... naked ... that is, unprepared to be 'on' without the expected 'aid' ... that's a personal issue that can be masked in complaints about the lack of alcohol.

I had my 13 year old make a charging station box. It stays in my office - down the squeaking stairs, past the light-sleeping dog, and through the clickety wood-floor kitchen. This is where electronics go to sleep every night, and they have the earliest bedtime in the house. ;) It's been good for all of us, to be honest. LOL

My parents are causing a scene. HGTVD

Or a politician! Some of my favorite childhood memories are those that involve me, my brother, and us getting into trouble! Heck, some of my favorite adult memories go that way, too. LOL

That happens in my house, too; except it's me. LOL It's the only time I can watch what I like, and when my 8 year old busts me during a night potty urge - oooh, boy, it's like the walk of shame back to the bedrooms! What was he watching - anything good?

I like to color. I have Mom-only prismacolors (I make the kids use Crayola), I have Mom-only coloring books, and yes - I have dedicated Mom-space on the art wall (the kids don't get the whole wall). I even used to bring coloring books to work, and would often color during meetings and on airplanes. Some of my co-workers knitted, some did Facebook, some worked out; I colored. Everyone thinks I'm a huge dork. Maybe I am. :) I can think of worse things to be, and coloring is only a fraction of what makes me so! Do you ..... play dress up? LOL

I like family to be there but I don't take it personally if they don't make it. I'm guessing it's no family secret that you tend to be more cautious about driving at night, so if you were my relative I'd shrug it off as you being you - I wouldn't take offense or read too much into you skipping out at the last minute. My sister lives on a mountain. In another state. Some years the snow is bad enough that she is afraid to trek down the mountain with her kids in tow - even though I flew thousands of miles to see them all LOL - it is what it is, nobody should hold it against someone that makes a call based on safety. If you flaked out frequently or often enough for little reasons ... well, that's something different. It doesn't sound like that's the case here and now, though. Stay home, see them next week for Thanksgiving and bring some extra birthday cheer for the celebrant. :)

I don't live where it's that cold, so I'm not sure this will work .. but during winter sports season I use a sparse amount of coconut oil on my face to hold in my natural moisture and act as a barrier to the winds. It doesn't break me out, but it might break out some people's faces. An alternative might be petroleum jelly - I know it's designed to also hold in moisture and act as a barrier. I was just complaining to myself that we dropped into the 40s. I'm going to shut up now that I read about your heat wave. LOL

Try resting around coughing kids! VYPSA

Sorry, I'm gonna need a poll for this one! LOL

I love practical gifts, especially homemade ones. And especially if the gift is one of those "I need to give something, but what do I give?" gifts from someone who might otherwise give me a candle, sweater, mug or bath salts. LOL Those oven mitts look great!

We were middle class. My dad was a pilot who became an exec at a major airliner. My mom also worked at the airline, but her paycheck didn't go towards family finances - it was her fun money. She worked part-time, but was mostly a professional mom doing all the mom stuff: parties, volunteering, serving on boards and stuff. They were both college-educated, had savings, ate out regularly, entertained often and afforded their hobbies. Both came from large immigrant families, and grew up poorer. We kids were given the benefit of a comfortable life but were instilled with the ethic of working hard rather than expecting things be given to us. We traveled often and well, but that was more about being an airline family than it was socio-economics. Everyone we knew at the airline took awesome trips. It was easier to back then. LOL

My older student is a fabulous reader, but a horrible speller. I'm a natural speller so it was a subject I was challenged to teach and he was challenged to learn. We hadn't done it as a formal subject before 3rd grade, and I went with AAS. He felt books 1-2 were a bit babyish, and was somewhat insulted; it made for not-fun lessons. But the format and basics were what we both needed, so we forged onwards. During his 4th grade year I started having him "help" me teach AAS to my younger student. It's open-read-go format, so he got a kick out of being the teacher and I was able to re-visit and review AAS 'with' him without his getting all mental about it being for younger kids. I'd ask him to 'start' spelling while I chopped veggies for lunch, or made an important phone call, or whatever. By the start of 6th grade he had remediated his spelling using AAS 1-3 and was on par with his peers. That's around the time he had figured out my trick, too. LOL

Under Nancy's top is - egads! PLUMS

If you see the POS preparing to sit in your row, simply excuse yourself before he sits down. Find the flight attendant in the aft of the airplane; if she is busy, just stand there. They hate that. LOL But it guarantees you'll get her attention, and can bring up the problem during boarding. There are a few seatbelt enforcers, but it's my experience that the crew does a cursory check of seatbelts - not an in-depth examination of everyone's waist. They do a quick glance as they move down the aisle. Not unlike you doing a quick glance to the backseat to see if your 3rd grader buckled up; you see the belt in the general area and call it good. Not to mention many people keep jackets and purses on their laps, clouding the view. This seems especially likely for someone who isn't able to access the underseat stowage area in front of him.

I don't hear POS to mean "person of size" outside of air travel, and I don't use it as such outside of that context. Like others, I take POS to mean the mister you described above. ;) I don't consider it a PC thing, though maybe it is; I always just thought the other appropriate acronyms were taken. Airlines love themselves some acronyms!

I'm Asian; my parents have, will, and always shall meddle in my life. No where is that more true than my relationships! As children, we always had our parents step in. That hasn't changed now that we're adults. We're very close, and even chose to live together as adults. I credit that to my parents' belief that the family matters more than the individual. They didn't meddle in squabbles so much, but absolutely intervened on behalf of a sibling for more serious matters. Their philosophy is that our family name means more than the random sharing of DNA, and that we have a responsibility to one another. It definitely causes static if you're the sibling always having to pony up the responsibility. It reminds me of the Prodigal Son; I spent most of my life being so pissed off by that story. (Guess which sibling I am!) But at the end of the day, your brother is your brother. If you're able, I'd find a way to honor that relationship, however imperfect it - and he - are, and take the reins from your parents. Responsibility is being there for him. It's not necessarily doing what your parents want you to do or what he's asking you to do - despite what all three of them may think! If my parents asked me to take him in, I would do it without hesitation. However, he might hesitate when he heard the (reasonable) conditions attached to the offer. Or he might surprise everyone and start on the path to making better, smarter decisions. I don't know. I do know that I agree with my parents about family vs. the individual, even when a sibling isn't currently pulling his weight. I consider my parents and brother to be immediate family, and I extend the same grace to them as I do my own kids. It's not always immediately reciprocated, or appreciated, but no one promised me a fair life and I do it to be right, not recognized.

The gift-giving is a great connection, so if you can - why not continue until you can't or until there comes a natural break? I'd handle it by sending gifts through college. I'd play it by ear for the years following that, but I'm assuming I'll buy gifts for as long as I can afford to. Once the kid marries, maybe a couple's gift for the first year then likely drop them. Once the kid has kids of his own, maybe transfer the gift entitlement to his kids. I tell you what. We're breeders, and I have a lot of aunts and uncles. Some of the years I most appreciated gifts were those ages where I may have traditionally been cut-off: 17 - 24. Sure I was old enough to not expect gifts, but during those years I was getting my footing on life the little thoughtful gifts mattered ... the aunt who gave me the camera I coveted but couldn't afford, the uncle who gave me cash to put gas in my car, the cousin who baked my favorite cookies ... the book I wouldn't have bought myself, the CD I wanted but couldn't justify the expense of, the care package of food that spared me the pounds of ramen in my pantry.

We own two condos in destination cities. We use VRBO, mentioned up-thread by Happy, for the one in Hawaii. Repeat customers are our bread and butter. We ended up buying because my husband and his family had been repeat customers for decades. Soon we'll inherit a condo on another island, and we plan to convert it into a vacation rental as well. Other units in that building pool together so that there is always a unit available, even if your specific one is not. We started off using VRBO for the one in Arizona but it didn't drive much business. Nowadays we contract out as a short-term for business execs, but if the unit is empty during spring training or the big bowl game we advertise it as a vacation rental. What's been interesting is the number of people from our AZ unit who have been pleased enough with the product to also visit our HI unit. We did have months of worry with the HI unit the year following 9/11 when the tourism industry took a hit. We borrowed money from our other properties to pay the mortgage, but without those it would've had to come out of personal funds. I worried about bookings due to a lag in travel when airport security became so invasive, but we didn't really see it in HI. Definitely have a plan for the mortgage because the tourism and transportation industries can change on a dime. Depending on the location, also account for weather expenses also - damage, reduced travel, etc. I keep current on airline business since it drives most of my HI traffic; I keep up on government contracts, aerospace news, and university happenings because it drives most of my AZ traffic. My best advice: know your area, know your people, and know how your people will get to your area.

I spent a lot of time on airplanes for work, and I was told the same as edelweiss. Years ago the crew used to put hot towels into Styrofoam cups, to be placed over the ears. They don't really do that anymore, but the steam did help me. Nowadays, I bring a few small hankies. During the beverage service I ask for a few extra Styrofoam cups. When I feel the beginning of descent I ask for a cup of hot water, which I pour into my plastic water bottle (drink it during the flight, keep the bottle for landing). I know it's bad; the plastic starts to melt. Some flight attendants will fill your bottle directly, some will hand you a cup for you to fill the bottle yourself - do so carefully! I stuff one hanky per cup, pour just enough hot water to dampen the hanky, and place the cups over my ears. I let the steam activate and I gently pull down on my ear to open up the canal. It's a more gently pop than holding the nose and blowing (which I was told could be damaging). It sounds silly, but the process actually helps occupy my mind and keeps focus off of the pain. I use a water bottle because I always have one handy; a small thermos might work. It also lets me keep it in the seatback pocket for easy access should I need it again. I can re-fill without use of a tray table or open cup, both of which the crew restricts use of during landing. I hope you get to go!

I don't mind messy, but I mind dirty. There's a difference. I make them keep rooms clean, but not organized. So messes are fine, dirty diapers are not and that's something I'd address. We're past the diaper stage, but at our house it's spilled nail polish, smelly washcloths piled on the floor, and sheets that can walk themselves to the laundry room. I expect spills to be cleaned up, towels hung or laid flat to dry, and linens washed weekly. My one stickler is that no doors may be blocked; they must all easily open/close. My kids have doors to their bathrooms and to their shared balcony, and I want all points of egress kept clear. Also, we don't do food or drinks (excepting water) in the bedrooms, which helps. I'm a messy person by nature. My dad sounds like Vida Winter, and he fought my messy for my entire life - unsuccessfully. I like seeing everything out, he likes everything in its place. We're just different personalities with differing priorities. And that's okay, and even more interesting ... from my POV, any way, not so much from his, then OR now! My bedroom is my space. Same goes for my kids. They used to share a room, which changes things some but not completely. One is more naturally organized, and the other isn't. We do make sure all common areas are kept picked up - daily. No messes left in the playroom, the living room, the dining room, etc. To me that's a reasonable compromise between being a natural-born messy who has to (learn to) live and function with people who aren't. One way I dealt with the endless trinkets, collections, and crafts was to make a dedicated work area - it's a huge table and an open bookshelf with supplies. Since it's in a common area, the discards and work get picked up daily. The completed project is displayed elsewhere and the project-in-progress has a spot on the shelf. Each child's bedroom has a dedicated bookshelf- mine has jars full of shells, rope, etc. That space is limited, so mine became more choosy about what (and how much) she collects. When it gets over-run, we purge. That happens about once a year. If I couldn't tolerate a messy bedroom, I'd allow them one space to keep messy (maybe a desk and bookshelf) with the understanding that once it became unmanageable it was subject to a purging.

I just retired; prior to retirement, I flew an average of 90,000 miles per year. In my experience, flight attendants are (1) not trained in how to handle a POS, and (2) not always willing/able to become involved due to other duties during boarding - most often I heard: "Take your bags, go back up and see the agent working the flight." They're under pressure from the agents and the company to board in increasingly unreasonable timeframes on the altar of the On-Time Departure. POS = people of size, and as mentioned up-thread it's completely subjective. The agent may or may not (1) be on the ball, (2) feel comfortable saying something, or (3) have the manpower to spare to deal with the problem, choosing instead to put the POS on the plane and make it the problem of someone else (be that the flight attendant or fellow passenger). Another factor tying in with #3 is that the agent may not be willing to make that call, risk the making of a scene (be that embarrassing or setting off the POS). It's a sensitive topic, ripe for media and threats of a lawsuit for emotional damages, etc. etc. etc. Even if the issue stops at the agent being berated by an irate POS, he doesn't feel he's paid enough to deal with the fallout of attempted enforcement an arbitrary rule that the company won't back him on; so he makes it someone else's problem. Not to excuse the agent, but that's how I saw it. One other thing I saw is an agent letting the POS know another seat needed to be purchased, but due to how the person paid for the original ticket ... it was necessary to go back out through security to the ticket counter to pay the difference. With so few people paying the airline directly, which would allow the airline to bill the card on file right there at the gate, this is the extra step that might screw the pooch for the POS's seatmate. A sympathetic agent might say, "Okay, we'll let you go but next time ...." and allow the POS to board. This is true if connections are involved, or if it's the last flight of the day or (more commonly) if all flights on that route are oversold and there's no way the POS is going to get out on a later flight. To the OP, it's happened to me. I suck it up. I figure it's no fun for the POS either. I agree with the poster who said the seatmate I WILL say something to is the guy who spreads his legs and hogs both armrests. I don't so much mind an invasion of my personal space when the person is just as uncomfortable as I am (in fact, I've been that person as a nursing mom) but I do mind the invasion if the person is just an inconsiderate jack***s.

I voted: sometimes. I retired this year, but was required to wear a watch while on duty. I always wear a watch when I'm flying or taking the train. Those are the only situations I feel a NEED to keep track of the time. I wear a watch when dressed in Sunday clothes - weddings, funerals, Mass. These are inherited pieces too precious for everyday. I was born tanned, so no tan lines to show off ;) I don't wear a watch on a day-to-day basis. Where I'm from, people are more relaxed about time. I just don't really find myself worrying or wondering much about what time it is. I get there when I get there, it's whatever time it is. This would work out better if I lived where I grew up. LOL

I do, too. She's always been a fantastic mother, and now she's a phenomenal grandmother. We see each other every day, and call/text several times throughout. Everyone loves my mom - she's everyone's favorite sister/aunt/cousin/friend/etc.

What about a retro theme? Pick a decade and fill it with throw-backs to the era. Some ideas: a CD with hits from the decade, a DVD of a popular movie or tv show, a book, some article of clothing or accessory (more as a gag gift), some kitsch in the form of knickknack or fabric or something, popular toy, candy stores have retro candy, popular dish or snack of the era, .... Or make a lottery ticket basket. Fill it with $24 worth of scratch offs and a gold coin for scratching. Or maybe $15 worth plus a book on investing. Figure out a clever way to display the scratch offs. Maybe punch holes in them and tie them to a branch or small bush (potted), and shove that into some big ol' basket. Or put an old antique book into the basket, with one lotto ticket shoved in every few pages. It's fun to watch them thumb through the pages to get them all. If cooking is a hit, does that mean entertaining is also? Holiday or festive tablecloth, cloth napkins, napkin rings, candles? What about a subscription to a cooking magazine? You can buy the current month's copy to put in the basket, along with a small cooking trinket (apron, tool, oven mitt, hand towel, ...) and a small note or printout showing the subscription.