I can’t imagine doing much grocery shopping. I wouldn’t want to deal with a cart of my own to lug around but in certain areas I could picture it. One sister lives in England with no car. I have a friend that has a motorcycle but hauling laundry etc is not very practical imo. I had to help him move art before in my car. And a guy I know in NOLA is car shopping ti replace his car soon despite owning a scooter. Because they don’t want to use the scooter all the time (rain etc). So even though it’s doable to not have one… most people I know have a vehicle of their own. A guy I worked with said his vehicle broke down (maybe a motorcycle?) and now bikes some places and puts the bike on the bus but has his wife’s car to use if they grocery shop or something. Plus they have a child in the car seat stage. So no matter how many times people say it’s possible I thibk yeah but not ideal AT ALL. I knew someone that had no car in Seattle. Didn't seem to bother them much.

I lost a potential babysitting job which was more disappointing 🤣he couldn’t even tell me what he could pay me, anyway.

In one breath he was asking if I would babysit his kid. In the next asking if he could pay me to do anything else. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked him to elaborate (wondering if he meant household chores).

The waiting isn’t killing me anymore. Because I’m not invested. That guy that wanted to show me the city said he’d love to hang out with me tonight (I asked him today if there was anything going on tonight and he sent me to a link for an event I don’t care to attend) but he has plans. I told him “no worries.” I’m not crushed. I’m just BORED. I get off work at 5 and have no kids this weekend. I want to go do something not alone this time. Ew the guy with no car propositioned me. Literally asked if I’d do things for money when I turned him down. it’s wild out here. This is not the same dating climate as years past.

That’s fair. I know in myself I might accidentally push men away by wanting to see too much of them too soon which is why I think it’s still prudent (for me) to follow the book’s advice to not be too available etc. I gave a guy my phone number after chatting on an app a couple times. He did not call (days passed) and he was online on the app (that app showed). So I decided ok no harm done. I got my answer. Had I not done that, we might still be chatting on the app but it doesn’t matter. It’s all a gamble. I try not to talk to just one guy because I get crushed when I invest too much in one person. Well frankly I really haven’t been investing much in anyone lately. I see too many issues and know they aren’t a good match. I might even be emotionally unavailable at this time. I have led before but there’s an element of feeling desired that is sometimes missing.

I texted him and we exchanged a few messages and I told him I was off on Friday prior to Friday. He didn’t make a plan. That’s a huge pass for me. Because the ones that are serious will make the plan or attempt to. Coming from experience and men that teach women about dating men. I’m honestly not eager enough for these guys to do the legwork myself. I’m meh about them til I know more. The one I like broke things off at Christmas and we may or may not hang out again because clearly out of sight out of mind (the one I ran into). I kinda get equally pursuing - I’ve done that - but at the end of the day the guy usually sets the pace with reaching out, setting dates or the woman is not seen as challenging enough and too attainable. Repeating what I’ve read.

Well apparently you’re not necessarily the pursuer just by striking up a conversation. So I’ll keep that it in mind. It’s just a gamble no matter what. The first guy I met in town that I dated I met organically. And I see how that went 🙄 I literally just read/skimmed a book called Never Chase Men Again (Bruce Bryan’s). He specifically says you will never know if the guy actually wanted to contact you if you do the chasing. And other things that I’ve experienced. From a man’s perspective he’s telling us the men want to work for the woman, want the challenge. If we do it, they don’t value us and get lazy and move on. So for the most part I’m in the “don’t try” camp. OH and “I’d like to show you the city” guy texted me at 11 pm to ask if I was out and about 🤣

He has his child 100% of the time. I only have visitation. But I do understand your point. Their home layout is arranged weird, too.

Did Hinge sponsor that article? It’s awful!! You literally have no option to type up a bio about yourself. So you get to look at a few prompts and photos of the person. My favorite prompt (note sarcasm) 2 truths and a lie. I learned nothing about this person. No idea what’s the truth and what’s a lie. Dumbest prompt. And mostly useless info for dating criteria. The only thing I like about hinge is the voice option so I can hear their voice if they answered a question using that feature. A voice can definitely make someone more or less appealing!

Ironically I did join a meetup group where you meet in person with other singles… but the group lost the leader before I ever saw any meetings scheduled. Meeting IRL is just as much a crap shoot because you don’t know who is single and it’s awkward to approach someone. You can look for a wedding ring but that doesn’t tell you if they’re single/straight/interested in dating. I rarely see guys in person that I even want to talk to and I’ve heard 95% of men will not approach women these days. Part of that is fear of being deemed a creep. And I don’t want to be the pursuer. So it’s a stalemate. I have seen profiles online where I said wow I definitely don’t want to date this one (guy holding a cigar in his mouth, cross dressing, interested in non monogamous relationships etc). Whatever floats someone’s boat but I want a man that’s straight, doesn’t dress like a woman, doesn’t smoke, initiates dates, doesn’t have a Santa length beard (super prevalent these days)… it’s really hard.

(these comments are referring to my view of heterosexual relationships) I feel like a select few men without cars belong on the dating app. Because I've had such horrible experiences with men texting, I find it hard to believe they can even arrange the transportation to MEET me LOL It's like pulling teeth. This week a guy gave me his phone number. We texted a few times and he said he was off the rest of the week and since I was new to the area he would show me around sometime if I wanted. Well, he knows I'm off today and did he try to meet me? Did he ask me to go anywhere this weekend? Nope. Lol. (And I refuse to initiate any more. If they don't want to do it, their loss. Statistically they will pursue you if they are interested and I don't care how many people say "but what about the shy nerds" etc." Well the shyness is a turn off and I'm not gonna hold their hand. That's not what I want). A friend of his and I happened to cross paths on facebook (he's a local DJ and we met in a music forum) and I think I have a higher chance of meeting the facebook guy than the one that matched with me on the app. These dudes on the apps are so sluggish and sloppy about arranging anything that the logistics of meeting a guy with no car just sounds like one more hurdle to deal with. Plus, I cannot parallel park to save my life and for selfish reasons I would like the man to drive if we're carpooling. I do street parking sometimes, but usually take a corner spot etc. A woman without a car may not be as big of a deal to a male but for safety reasons it's not ideal to be a woman without a car trying to meet guys on dates, unless like it's daytime. I mean at night I wouldn't want to be exiting a bus stop and walking to meet my date and then later walking back from the bus stop to my house. That's just me, though. My blanket statement wasn't 100% true of all people in all cases, but because of the logistic nightmares I can imagine, I feel like it would be very challenging for one or both parties. And dating already has so many hurdles I feel like it wouldn't be worth the stress. I've had people cancel on me at the last minute and I would have been irate if I was on a bus when it happened.

Yes. Exactly. One of my new male friends was like maybe you’re being too hard on this guy and I said if YOU wanted to meet me (for a date) I feel pretty confident you’d catch a ride from a friend etc. He said, “yeah, you’re right” lol Now ironically he has no car because of the whole Lyft thing. And after that happened he said he wouldn’t be on the dating app without a car (and had quit the app prior to that). I don’t want all my outings to be limited to what someone lives by. We already got stuck not eating once because the bars had closed their food service (it wasn’t even that late) and there was no where else close to go without offering my car. Oh well I guess there’s some comfort in knowing I’m not the only one trying to get my ducks in a row 🙃

I’m gonna say it and I know it’s shallow but just food for thought. You don’t know a guy and he bikes 20 miles to meet you… you think he’s not gonna arrive all sweaty? Not ideal on a romantic meeting. There are just so many reasons this seems like a “I’ve known you a while so we’ll make this work” vs “yeah this seems practical and not at all inconvenient” in regards to forming partnerships.

I can elaborate, not that it matters as I lost interest in the guy lol In a way I think he’s worse off than me because he has full custody and only one bedroom. His child stays in the living room. This has been the case about 2 years. So I feel like in that time frame he should have maybe sought a 2 bedroom. Obviously money is an issue. His vehicle broke down and he’s trying to save up to replace it. I don’t know why even the ones that don’t present as struggling are the ones I get 🤣 He shows no sense of urgency to get a 2 bedroom. In my case I feel like if dd was with me FT I’d manage to get a 2 bedroom.

I’ve learned that many of the men my age actually don’t have their act together and I try not to judge harshly as neither do I. But I’m not going to complicate my life for someone I just met. I’ve got enough financial burdens to deal with. The car wasn’t the real deal breaker. Another guy I’ve been talking to just lost his vehicle due to not meeting a payment from Lyft (Lyft provided the vehicle). I know my car could die on me at any time and I’d be up a creek as my original budget was way off with take home pay. But I wouldn’t expect strangers to pick me up for dates (that’s a safety thing mostly). I’d just assume remove myself from the dating pool. Unless I met someone organically and things naturally worked out. Still, I hate relying on men. I don’t want to be dependent.

Because unless you are willing to use a bus or pay for Uber/Lyft etc then it makes meeting your date very difficult. They did not want to do that based on our interactions. So the one day we didn’t meet at all (since I didn’t want to pick up a stranger) and the other times I went to their neighborhood. I think this is more difficult if you’re a man, although I was not asking to be picked up. I don’t want the start of a relationship to be a burden nor do I want to get stuck picking up a guy repeatedly. Which is what probably would happen.

No progress. Getting more numb and jaded about dating. Trying to meet new people to hang out with. My “friend” and I barely talk, had been weeks til I ran into him. I really think everyone is full of $hit. I went out with a guy that checked the lifestyle boxes… non smoker, tries to take care of himself, physically fit… but he was a little pushy (ex. currently has no car and wanted me to pick him up before we ever met. I said no and we met later somewhere he could bike or walk) and boring. I think if you don’t have a car you probably shouldn’t be on a dating app. Also incredibly busy since he has full custody. I make very little effort now and if they want to talk to me they can reach out. If they’re not motivated enough then that’s my sign. I don’t care if the real reason is shyness. Grow a pair, lol

I was having trouble finding 0% APR cards. And I have a higher APR on the new cc than old one. My current credit score, current offers, and utilization seems to make it hard to find a 0% Apr. I just applied, thanks.

The representative for my credit card was told it was merchant specific but googled it and said it does appear cards have different rules. I’m irritated. I’m not going inside to pay every time, either.

Are you kidding me?! I went to Shell gas station and card says there’s a pending $200 fee for that gas station. I think this may be card specific. I never had these crazy charges when I used my MasterCard. 😤

One of the $200 holds just came off. That’s definitely over 48 hrs.

My coworker gave me $20 cash so I used part of that at the laundromat. If you upload money with your cc to the laundromat card there’s a service fee and a min purchase of $20. So I was really glad to have the cash.

My new cc was declined so I called to get info. Apparently I went to Chevon twice recently and the gas station put a $200 hold on each fill up. The hold can be 24-48 hrs according to my bank. The first gas fill up was on the 16th. Not sure when my card will work again. Says I have only a few bucks available ($500 minus the actual charges and the $400 in hold fees). 😡 Guess I know where NOT to get gas.

Process began June 2022?

Annulment was approved. Checked my P.O. Box today. Postmarked Jan