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OneStepAtATime last won the day on March 23 2016

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  1. Have you looked into the possibility of dysgraphia? Handwriting can be legible when written slowly and meticulously (for some dysgraphics) but can be painful and if they speed up then letter formation/spacing/spelling etc. can get really off. You might look into a LiveScribe pen or other technology support for in class notes. Also, if you got the number of a classmate with good notes maybe they would allow him to get copies of those notes. I would start working on his typing through a good typing program, too, if he isn't already. It can take a long time to get proficient enough at typing to actually be able to use that medium for output/notetaking/etc. but the sooner he starts building up muscle and procedural memory the sooner he will get proficient enough to use it for output/notetaking. Also, you might look at an evaluation by an Occupational Therapist to make sure there isn't anything off. Finally, have him work separately on hand strengthening exercises and improvement of his handwriting speed but work hard not to make him feel bad about his handwriting issues. Not everyone is going to have speedy handwriting. FWIW, with most on-line classes, the class is also recorded so he could go back and review the recorded class and take notes at his speed. Just something to think about as an option for the future. As for your friend, well her response shows a lack of understanding of how hard the physical act of handwriting can be. Also, if your child actually has dysgraphia then in a school setting he would likely qualify for accommodations through an IEP.
  2. On a side note, I would be trying to find ways to reduce conflicts between the two of you by removing you as "the bad guy" as much as possible while you seek answers. All those conflicts are reinforcing her reactions and you both may have inadvertantly settled into destructive patterns while trying to navigate these difficult waters. It happens, often through no one's fault. There is just quite often no way to know ahead of time what is happening or how to effectively address it and in the meantime you both have to survive and function. Patterns of interaction can form that in the long run may be reinforcing the dysfunctional behavior. It can also be very challenging to change that, especially since you aren't even entirely sure what is causing her issues or how to address them. This puts the parent and the child in a really tough, exhausting, painful situation. Huge hugs. I agree with you, you need to reduce the conflicts but I think right now that means reducing the situations where you are the one having to get her to do things she doesn't want to do. Morning seem especially challenging with trying to get her to school, even though she does well once she gets there. Is there anyone else that could take her to school? DH, carpool with neighbor, other relative? I'm just thinking that maybe others should step in wherever they can while you seek answers and work to forge a healthier dynamic.
  3. :grouphug: Do you feel that the medical professionals you are sending her to have a good handle on things? Are they responsive? Proactive in seeking answers? As for where else to go, perhaps a neuropsychologist for additional evaluations but at this point I don't guarantee that will net you much. Also, FWIW, sometimes it takes a while to find the right therapist and therapies. Have they tried Cognitive Behavior Therapy? Group sessions that include you to maybe help improve the dynamic between the two of you? Has she always struggled with these things or was there a point in her childhood when this was not her normal reaction? Has your pediatrician looked into PANS/PANDAS as a possible origin for some of her difficulties? (see link) http://www.pandasnetwork.org/understanding-pandaspans/what-is-pans/
  4. :grouphug: Frankly, with the situation as you describe, I would be extremely hesitant to bring her home under those circumstances, at least not right away. Instead, have you and she tried therapy to break the cycle with professional help? And what sorts of evaluations has she had? Could there be more than just ADHD? Just because a child has ADHD does not mean they will act as you describe. It sounds like perhaps there is more going on that she is struggling to cope with. I also agree with PeterPan, I would be very proactive in seeking answers and getting professional help to determine the underlying cause of the defiance/anger towards you and I would do it now. As she hits puberty this could get infinitely worse. :grouphug:
  5. Good point. Perhaps I should set up a link between the pinned reviews on the HS forum and the Gen Ed forum since many have kids in multiple grades and might start with Gen Ed first.
  6. And I agree with the others, keep it to just facts and experiences. What is a negative for one person may be a positive for someone else. Different kids learn differently and different families have different needs. If something didn't work for your family then yes, say so, but keep it to a neutral statement and why it didn't work. For instance, you could say that your children needed more visuals than were provided in Ms. X's class and then briefly explain the specifics of how that class is presented. No rancor. Just a simple statement of facts and why this did not work for your particular children.
  7. What about doing reviews like you suggested, sticking strictly to facts, in this pinned thread here? As long as you are sticking to facts and you are giving this review in a thread that is really specifically for that purpose, to help people find on-line classes that would work for their particular child, I don't see that as poor etiquette. And hopefully you will also be able to provide this teacher with some concrete feedback in that same vein so perhaps she can work to improve her offerings. I don't believe in witch hunts but I do believe it is valid to provide facts, especially in the right venue. even if those facts are not positive. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/638806-master-list-of-on-line-classes/
  8. :grouphug: 1. Keep things simple, as much as possible. For lesson plans, do a very basic outline of core skills that you want to hit on and keep materials to use VERY SIMPLE. Audio books, read alouds, some math. Add to that once you are in a better place. Your kids are not in High School yet. Take this time to breath and keep it all very simple. Do your heavier planning further down the road. There is time. 2. As Sparkly Unicorn stated, exercise. As soon as you feel stressed, walk around. Like seriously walk all over the house or walk around the neighborhood or whatever, but just get moving. If you have some laundry to fold, do that. If you have dishes to wash, do that. Whatever you do, don't sit and let inertia and stress immobilize you. 3. Find something to do with your kids each day that brings you joy, if you possibly can. Focus on the fact that you are together in that moment. Sing some songs. Read a book. Do some Madlibs. Play at the park. 4. Deep breaths. This is a season, not eternity. Breath through this season. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
  9. I wanted to come back and send you some additional hugs. You seem really freaked out. Please take a deep breath. Whatever you decide, it will be o.k. It will. Hang in there.
  10. :grouphug: If you want to bring her home then there is no reason you can't bring her home, unless this will cause a serious rift between you and your DH (in which case you might still bring her home but I would work really hard to get both of you on the same page). FWIW, though, head lice are not disease ridden. They won't poison your child. They are a drag to deal with and a lot of people get grossed out at the thought of them but they are not carrying some horrible disease, they don't carry poison, they are just annoying. They can be gotten rid of with a bit of effort, no harm done. This is not a life threatening situation. It is just kind of frustrating. Also, since the school knows, you can ask them what precautions they are taking to prevent this spreading and if you feel they are inadequate say so. In other words, I would not panic over head lice. Try not to let irrational fear rule your decision making ability. I would work hard to think through this situation, all the pros and cons, and make a decision based on that.
  11. I would not at all count on the school being o.k. with her joining in classes as a student just for the last 9 weeks of school each year. Have you actually asked them if that would be o.k.? I really doubt they would approve. This is actually NOT just a 9 week activity. It is a school and a teacher that has been teaching these students for several months, including lesson plans that build on each other, plus group dynamics and a whole host of things that go into making a classroom functional. Classrooms are not set up for students to just randomly show up just for a few weeks when they feel like it. In other words, your child will be coming in for the last grading period of a year of school, not for a 9 week summer camp. Do you know what materials they are using and where your child would place? Frankly, I am a little concerned now. Please do not treat this as something like a 9 week activity or summer camp that she can just sign up for each year. I doubt the teacher or the school will appreciate that viewpoint.
  12. If you are seriously o.k. with her possibly continuing at that school next year then I don't think there would necessarily be an issue. However, if you are absolutely NOT wanting her to attend school and she does fall in love you are setting both of you up for a hard time. You already took the tour, though, so I assume you have indicated to her that you would be o.k. with this. If she really wants to go to try it out and you are o.k. with her possibly wanting to continue in the fall, then sure, let her.
  13. Good luck! I wish kids came with a detailed manual, well laid out, with plenty of tabs. Or maybe a High Def crystal ball. :)
  14. Check out Open Tent Academy. They have writing courses that only last for the summer. There may be courses for just one semester after the summer, too. I don't remember. I do know they have three semesters besides their summer program. Some classes only cover one semester, some for two and some for all three. http://www.opententacademy.com/
  15. You cannot have a common law marriage with someone who is already legally married, AFAIK. At least not here in my state (Texas). A true Common Law marriage must meet quite a few criteria, not just living together for any length of time. Essentially a Common Law marriage, at least in Texas, is simply less formal. There is no official civil or religious service. You still have to meet certain specific criteria. As I understand it, this is what is required in my state: 1. You must be over 18. 2. You cannot already be married to someone else. 3. You must SAY you are married (both of you) and act like a married couple. 4. You must live together as a married couple. 5. To be certain it holds up you can also file a letter of intent stating that you are a married couple. Why not then just get married? Well, some people object to the hoop jumping that can be required for a true civil service. Some absolutely object to a religious service. Some live together for a while then decide they are "married" in all but the marriage certificate/religious ceremony sense but no longer feel that following that path is necessary. They are committed and living as a married couple would. They just continue in that vein, but now with more intentionality. So why have a common law marriage as even an option? Well there are probably several reasons but I will mention one that I know came up with a relative. Let's say you and your SO have been living together for many years. You started out with just a roommate situation but over time things became more serious. For personal reasons neither of you wants to go through a civil service and neither are currently religious. You care about each other and are committed but for various reasons (and there can be many) getting married through official channels was not a good idea or what you and your SO wanted. Still, you have lived together essentially as a married couple for many years. You still care about each other. You act as husband and wife and call each other so. You at this point have made it clear that you consider yourselves married. This relationship matters. Now one SO is in a car accident. They are in the hospital. They are unconscious and cannot advocate for themselves. Because of common law in their state the SO that is not injured has the ability to be in control of the health care of their SO, make decisions about end of life care, etc. If that injured SO dies, the other one is still given access to survivor benefits, access to records, etc. Without Common Law rights they might have none of those things. Now make it more complicated. Suppose there are relatives that are VERY different from the injured SO. They have a poor relationship. The injured SO may not have even had contact with them for years. The relatives are frankly pretty narcissistic and abusive. Because of Common Law those unwanted relatives would have a much harder time taking over the situation, making life and death decisions that might not mesh at all well with what the injured SO wants. Common Law gives the partner the ability to legally come to SO's defense and take care of them the way they would have wanted. Common Law also protects them from unwanted relatives trying take SO's belongings/money/benefits if they pass on. Frankly, I think there are a lot of nuances to this. I don't think this is a black and white, easy to determine, situation. I have never had a common law marriage but had a relative that did. I would not want this option completely removed, not without significant research into the various aspects of this issue.
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