I am not telling him that he's lazy, etc. when he doesn't get things done on the timetable I expect. He lies about LOTS of things in his life. He does not lie just about school.

I'll have to ponder. Without going into detail, our lives are extremely chaotic, so I'm not sure I could get things together enough for a tutor. And we really can't afford one. But maybe. I dunno. I'm literally in tears thinking about enforcing something like that even through a tutor because I KNOW I will fail. One thing I have been considering for him and his 14yo brother (who is on this path too but has dyslexia and dysgraphia thrown in for extra struggles....) is to make them come to me after each and every assignment and then me having to give them the next one, rather than giving them a list of things to accomplish. This way I can make sure that they actually did it (not grading it right then). Maybe I can set a timer each time (??????) so that if it gets to be a little too long between check-ins, I can follow up. Since I have nothing else to do all day. :tongue_smilie: :tongue_smilie: :tongue_smilie:

YES. THIS.

Just to be clear, I have NOT told him his whole life that he is lazy. I'm not sure if you were referring to me specifically here or if you were just speaking in generalities.

I'd agree with this. The trick is finding someone to do it. I literally have been looking for YEARS AND YEARS (not necessarily for this kid). I strongly feel his PDD diagnosis was in error (I have another kid who was wrongly diagnosed with it when he was 13 - turned out to be CAPD).

Yes, I'd have to check and see if community college credits would help a GED or if it even matters.

Possibly. He can take regular tests too. The kicker is getting him to.

No. Like with a Mr. Potato Head...instead of putting the arms/legs/etc. into the holes, he would turn the arms/legs into airplanes and pretend they were flying around. Instead of playing pretend with a Little People barn silo, he would have a particular doll fall down the silo repeatedly. (We called it the "fall barn.") My husband and I never cared how he played with toys. We felt he was just creative. However, when I had him in for a speech evaluation (he was a late talker and the pediatrician recommended an eval), the therapist noticed how differently he played with the toys. That started us on the road to the developmental clinic.

I'm curious as to why?

What is it? I can't tell from their website. The video is extremely vague. Is it computer-based instruction? He hates that stuff LOL. He just wants to read textbooks. HOWEVER, he doesn't want to PRODUCE anything as proof that he's actually learned from his reading. Is it complete? Or is it a supplement?

He struggled with his schoolwork prior to getting the job last August. We hoped the job would do exactly as you said...force him to learn time management and take ownership of getting his schoolwork done with the added responsibility of his job. It did not. He was told at the very beginning (and his employer knew this as well) that if he could not handle both well, the job would go. The schoolwork issue has been going on for years...it is not new since taking his job. He originally was supposed to quit his job entirely. However, we compromised on a leave of absence so that he could return easily if he gets his act together. Based on how things have been going so far, I'm not going to hold my breath.

That's what I'm hoping for my son and the military. We looked into CAP here but the schedule was kind of wonky. My oldest son did Young Marines, and that totally transformed him.

I agree Nan and FaithManor. I live in Colorado, where our requirements are minimal, but they are there. We have to submit a notice of intent annually and test/evaluate every other year and submit those results. Because of these laws, when it came time for my son to enlist in the Marine Corps, all I had to provide was a transcript and the letter I receive from our school district after I send in our NOI saying that we are homeschooling according to state law. The USMC viewed this letter as "accreditation," and I didn't have to do anything further. A friend of mine's son enlisted from Illinois, which has zero requirements, and she had to jump through a million hoops: transcript, course descriptions, texts used, etc.

Yes, except probably English Comp. LOL! The kicker there is the price. If he had attended our local charter for homeschoolers that my other kids go to this year, he could take guaranteed transfer credits at our CC for free next year. He did not, so it is not free. I'd have to see what they offer vs. what he needs vs. what he actually wants to take. He's taking some fun courses between now and when he should graduate, so he may not want to lose those by going to the CC instead.

This is actually what I'm attempting to do.

Yep, that's why I told him he'll have to either bust his butt and overcome without meds OR take meds and kiss the Navy goodbye. Wow, Tier 3??? Crazy.....

Let's see if I can use multi-quote properly.... Yes, a homeschool diploma is DEFINITELY better than a GED for military enlistment. I stress to parents all the time to not even think about a GED if their child wants to join the military. Huge mistake. I have not read those books. I'll look for them. That second book sounds just like my 14yo. In fact, I was discussing his crumpled papers just today and had to show him how to take the top paper off the stack he's working on, flip it face down, and start a pile. This is instead of just tossing the paper on the floor when he's done with it, which then results in him having to dig his math papers out from under his bed EVERY. STINKING. DAY. Your son actually sounds like my 14yo, who just sort of "floats" through life and is behind in school just because he doesn't really like to think hard. Now all of a sudden he has decided he wants to be an astronaut. There ain't no way. Fortunately he found out that you can't be over 6 feet tall and be an astronaut. At 14 he's almost 5'11" so.... At least I didn't have to be the one to shoot him down. I don't know that kids with ADHD CAN join the military. But I'm going to do more research. Yes, that is how my friend's son is. He only takes his medication on school days, and the weekends are just a mess since he can't get his regular life straight without it! I told my son today that he'll have to decide whether he wants to pursue a med option, since it will mean no Navy if he does take meds. My son isn't that severe. He's ambitious when it's something he's interested in. For example, when he has to go into work at 8:30-9:00 am, he wakes up on his own at 7, no problem. Any other school day, which we start at 8:30 and have for YEARS, I have to wake him at 7:30 and he finally strolls down around 7:45-8. When he DOES his assignments, he learns quite well. The issue is that he gets distracted by more interesting things...an idea for a drawing (so then he spends his time drawing)...looking at a group picture from camp last summer...flipping through the music on his iPod...etc. I've pondered a more structured environment, but this late in the game I don't think it's possible to actually get it arranged. He does have a couple of online classes lined up for next year through Landry. I'm hopeful since they are classes he is interested in. He took 2 classes through The Potter's School a couple years ago, and it was a struggle to get him to stay caught up.

This is pretty much where we are. When would you do this? Prior to when he should graduate?

I have to seriously consider this though, with his desire to join the Navy. While he received a diagnosis when he was four, he never had more than a few months' therapy (one was for some sort of social skill thing when he was 4 for about 3 months, and one was for a few months of OT because of proprioception issues). That's been it and he completely outgrew everything. And more importantly, he can describe what was going on in his head whenever he would play with toys "incorrectly" (one of the things that gave him the diagnosis). His diagnosis was not cut-and-dry even back then...they were very tentative about it.

He has kind of talked with a recruiter. Nothing in depth, but it's definitely more than just "I want to join the Navy." I think he has talked with him as much as he can prior to his senior year and REALLY getting the ball rolling on the DEP and such. EXCELLENT POINTS about integrity and honesty being what is crucial. I'm going to mention that to him. It is nothing for him to lie straight to your face about even the small stuff like whether he did his spelling that day or not. He needs to ponder this.

That's another possibility I had not considered. Thank you!

I have considered ADD. A friend of his has it, and the external symptoms are very similar. However, what goes on in his head is a little different. It's a possibility, but he doesn't have the "ping pong ball" thoughts that his friend does. He said it basically boils down to a lack of the inner voice saying, "This is what I should be doing right now."