I heard her speak at the VA homeschool convention last month and was VERY disappointed. My sister and I kept looking at each other and shaking our heads. The workshop we went to was something about homeschooling high school. Her basic point was “a diploma doesn’t matter”. Being from Canada, the “rules” for achieving a high school diploma are a bit different than in the US but apparently she has no plans of helping her DC receive one. Her belief is that the only goal we, as Christian homeschooling parents, should have is being sure that our children walk with God as adults. That’s how we’ll be successful, NOT ensuring that our kids receive a good education. I’m not sure what makes her think that she has that much control over her kids’ relationship with God as adults! (I’m a devout Christian and certainly hope my children decide to be as well, but I know that I have no control over their choices.) According to what she said, she was homeschooled as a child as well. Her oldest child is 16. The curriculum can be done in an hour and a half a day if you do the basics but can take longer if high schoolers do additional research. She was VERY preachy. Almost yelling at the audience at times to convince us that her point of view was the correct one. Needless to say, my sister and I decided that we didn’t feel the need to attend any of her other sessions that weekend. I went to the vendor hall and looked at her curriculum. She had the biggest and most crowded booth there. The curriculum is absolutely beautiful. The topics look interesting. I can definitely see the appeal. I’d be tempted myself if the high school level didn’t look so incredibly weak. Maybe if we needed a jumping off point for a special interest or something….But it sure was pretty.

I know this is quite an old thread but I wanted to add that the tall boys struggle too. My 13yo DS is 5’11” and super thin. He is SO self-conscious! He hates being the tallest and the comments he always gets on his height. He’s always been tall for his age and it was difficult when he was younger especially because he was always expected to act older. I was constantly reminding people of his age. He could have gone either way with his height. I’m 5’ 2” and all of my family and extended family is short. (Women around 5’ to 5’3”, men between 5’5” and 5’8”). I have 5 short brothers who haven’t experienced any negative effects of being short. They married short women or women who are taller than them, have good jobs, tiny children, and generally just do well in life. DH is 6’3” and most of his relatives, men and women, are quite tall (some of the women are 6’+). DH is actually “short” compared to some of them. They also do well in life, although they seem more prone to back problems. I guess my point is that 13 is an awkward age for everyone and a great time to start learning that people come in all shapes and sizes. One’s stature rarely effects quality of life.

I love my broken in Birks but I HATE breaking in a new pair. They‘re so uncomfortable for the first couple of weeks till the mold to my feet. My FIL is a shoe repairman and had the contract for the local Birk store before the closed. He made me a new pair a couple months ago but they’re still sitting there stiff and unworn because I can’t make myself wear them instead of my older, comfortable pair. It would be helpful to have two wearable pair though.

My goals were simple this month: finish school, finish mulching flower beds, 31 hours outside. DS is done with school. DD2 has only math left. But I don’t think we can get it done by the 31st. She’s pushing back HARD against finishing it. We never do school on Sunday but I’m seriously considering having her do some tomorrow after church. DD3 has two math tests left, one paper (it needs a conclusion and a final draft), and a history project to finish. I thought she could finish today but then the girls made plans with friends. Maybe she can finish Monday. I finished the largest flower bed today. It took somewhere around 30 bags of mulch. I have 10 bags left but I don’t think that will be enough for the four smaller beds I have left so I’ll have to pick up more. I still might be able to get that done before June. I’m at 24 hours outside. I think I can easily get 2+ hours outside the next few days to meet my goal. Come on summer!

I don’t know that a tutor is in our budget. I can work with her at this level but not too much higher. I do have a friend who tutored math in college she’s a bit of a drive from me but maybe we could use Zoom or something if I really need the backup. I’m going to try getting us in a routine where we work on math together first and see if that helps.

She’s been pretty resistant to my helping her. And it’s pretty difficult to force a grumpy 17yo to cooperate when they don’t want to. But the past few school days I’ve insisted that we do math together and she’s been a bit more cooperative. I’m not sure she’d agree to doing it this way regularly but maybe she’ll see the benefits. It certainly is faster. Rather than her doing a whole lesson, missing almost every single one, and then doing it again with me, we’re just skipping to the end of that process. I think it’s helping her understanding as well to not have a chance to do it wrong. We’re splitting it up into several 30-45 minute sessions a day which also seems to be helping. And I’m being as patient as I can and just expecting to need to explain things each time. Starting back at Algebra 1 and doing chapter tests might be a good idea. I can make sure any holes are plugged while also not spending time on things she already knows. Might build her confidence too. Thanks for the idea.

I clean an Airbnb owned by a friend. My DD19 does a lot of house sitting and pet sitting, as well as babysitting. DS13 is about to start a weekly lawn mowing job for a lady around the corner. I’m a member of our town’s Facebook page and people are always posting things they’re looking to hire someone for. Sometimes people will post that they’re looking for work and what sorts of things they can offer.

My only goals this month were to finish school, finish getting the mulch down, and spend 31 hours outside. I think we’ll make it on the school goal easily enough. We should be done by the end of this week. Exception being DD2’s math. She got a month behind and I don’t think we can make that up in 9 days. Everything else will be done. I’m about halfway done with the mulch. There’s a chance of getting that done. Our big things - speech and co-op are done except for end of the year picnics. And with school wrapping up that should give me some time outside. Looks like we’ll have decent weather this week so I’m going to make a goal of working on the mulch every day, even if it‘s only one bag I started with about 70 bags and I’m halfway done I think. Anytime I’ve said “just one bag” I’ve managed to do more. The hardest part is getting started. I’m behind on outdoor time for sure. I can possibly make that up if I work on the mulch and move some schoolwork outside. And maybe I’ll celebrate the end of school with a day at the beach.

I probably do need to do this. She is very resistant to doing anything with me though. The thought of doing math everyday with a reluctant teenager….ugh….maybe I’ll feel different about it when it’s NOT the end of the school year. I do want her to be successful.

We’ve done every problem. She watched the videos and then worked through one problem at a time. I’d go over any wrong answers with her. I guess the only part that we didn’t do exactly as prescribed was the step where the student is supposed to teach the parent. I’d sit with her and go over things asking questions about what step came next and why, but I’ll admit to rushing this part or sometimes just explaining it to her so we could get through it faster. Math at this level takes a while and I’m doing it x3. Otherwise, we haven’t skipped a single problem. I have Saxon and Lial‘s on my list to look at at the convention in a couple of weeks. I’ve heard that people skip some problems in Saxon because there’s so many, but that it was designed to do every problem. How long does a lesson take if the student does every problem?

I’m SOOOO tempted to do this. But we really are down to the last few pages of things. We’re on lessons 30 and 31 in MUS, halfway through the last chapter of science, writing the last paper, three and five days of history….I don’t think I can bring myself to stop now. We’ll push through and be done by the end of next week. Except DD2 who still has 5 MUS lessons to go. Next year I’m planning differently. I NEED a plan, but I’m going to try to aim for a certain amount of time per subject, per day, for a set number of days and not worry about finishing the books. Just need to come up with a system for making sure that happens. It’s too easy around here to not get stuff done.

DD2 struggles with math. We started in Singapore but switched to CLE in 5th grade. Singapore was just too intense for her and DD3 was catching up to her, causing problems. CLE was perfect. I had no idea that math concepts could be broken down into such small pieces but it really worked for her. I had heard mixed reviews of CLE secondary math curriculum so in 8th grade I switched to MUS. It was fine, mostly, until this year. The first half of the year was ok, not great, but ok. But the last few months have been rough. She misses almost every problem. She’s often forgetting basic things like how to multiply fractions. She was solid on the basics before, but it seems that the more complicated the problems get, the more confused she gets about the simple things. My original plan for her senior year was to move on to MUS Pre-calculus but that doesn’t seem like a good idea now. I think we need to back up. But I’m not sure to where. Just repeat Algebra 2 again with a different curriculum? Back up further than that? Does anyone know how CLE’s high school math courses are? I’m going to the HEAV convention in VA in a couple weeks so if anyone has suggestions of things to look at I’d appreciate it.

Yes. Today is their last day actually. My DH and I were talking about all of this last night. It was a frustrating day for me. A lot needed to get done and no one wanted to help do anything. Including the one who DIDN’T work yesterday. But it seems better to wait til the job is over, and probably some of this other extra stuff too before addressing this with the DC. It’ll all be done by the end of next week. We could talk now, but I’m frustrated and we’re all tired. I want to come at this from a standpoint of working together as a team and I don’t think that’s how I’d come across right now.

I think my oldest DD who drives might need to start pitching in as taxi service if she doesn’t want to pitch in more around the house. And the others are going to have to contribute more to housework. I can’t do it all anymore. I know some of that is the exhaustion speaking, but some is just that I need time to care for myself too. And they’re not babies and toddlers anymore. I’m going to get through these next couple weeks wrapping up school and activities and then we’re going to start making some changes. We have some travel time coming up in the next couple of days. That time in the car can be put to good use having some conversations about all of this. I want us to have fun this summer and be able to relax after a hectic year, but also need us to work together to make some changes that will set us up for success next year. This thread has been so helpful as I sort out my thoughts on all of this. And there’s so many great ideas to consider.

Yes, DD2 is really the one who needs to be able to drive. She needs so much more social time than the rest of us and thrives on doing ALL the things. I’m really hoping to have her get her license this summer. She drives pretty well and would likely pass the driver’s test, but I’d like her to be just a bit more comfortable before she tests. It’ll be super helpful once she can drive though. I’m very loyal to our ECs too. I’m working on it. I have to keep reminding myself that it‘s ok if we skip a week because we really need a break. The hardest one for me is karate. That’s as much for me as for the kids. I did skip Monday though. I was just too tired. I missed being there and they were very short on instructors for kids class without my crew being there but I just couldn’t do another thing. There are pros and cons to rural living for sure. We love the quiet, space, and lower costs where we live. And we’re not as rural as some. But we do drive 10 miles one way to the grocery store, 25 to karate, 30 to vision therapy. I’m always looking for what trips can be combined anytime we leave the house. Even things that are closer, like the library, are still over 3 miles away. And there are no sidewalks until the last half mile. Just a winding country road where people drive much too fast. I’ve encouraged my kids to ride their bikes into town but they’re not comfortable doing that. I don’t really blame them I guess.

Considering the ages of my kids, I think I’ll work in some conversations with them about what changes we need to make to how our family life functions. Share the ideas I have and see what ideas they may have. As mentioned above, we are getting into a season where things will start to have more of a “roommate” feel and we’ll need to learn to work together instead of everything working from the top down.

Yes, drastic cuts aren’t an option. We can tweak some things. We can drop a day of karate and possibly move things to a better day. We joined a co-op last year. It’s mostly enrichment but we needed it SO much. I joined because DS had absolutely no friends. He was the only teenage boy everywhere we went and desperately needed friends. I found a co-op nearby that had lots of teen boys. It’s been wonderful. This co-op has also met other needs we didn’t know we had. We can’t drop it. And while it’s mostly enrichment, there are occasionally academic classes offered as well that take things off my plate. One of my girls is taking a wonderful writing class right now and two are doing a health class. Two things off my schedule. I’m considering adding Trail Life for my son too. We’ll drop a day of karate to make up for it but I think it will add tremendous value for him. DD15 will turn 16 and be able to get her driver’s permit this fall. She doesn’t want to but I’ll be forcing it I think. There are a lot of passenger restrictions here for permit holders making it difficult for families to get driving time in so I need her to get started ASAP. I’m realizing that teens being able to drive themselves is important in a rural area. I think you hit on something else that will need to be an important part of my strategy for next school year - plan for and expect the busy times, and then also schedule in rest as well. I think I can find points throughout the year where I can take a week or two off from most activities so that we can all have some downtime.

My oldest driving is a big help. My three oldest are girls and do many things together and have the same set of friends so she drives them often and that helps a lot. But she is about to be 19 and her life is starting to separate from the family a little. And youngest DD is only 15 and can’t quite do everything DD1 does. (Another change we’re trying to figure out.) I’m pushing DD2 to get her license this summer but with our graduated license requirements it will be spring before she can drive siblings anywhere. We do have a third car though that girls can share. An older friend gave it to us when he had to stop driving. Old car, low miles, cheap insurance. Whichever kid(s) use it have to pay for the insurance/gas/upkeep. I do meal plan but I think I need to change it up. Maybe look into freezer and/or crockpot meals. Or an instapot. DH’s work schedule means we usually eat dinner at lunchtime which is too early for a lot of crockpot meals. Today oldest DD is off babysitting, next two are at work, I need to get DS to vision therapy, I have errands to run to pick up the last few things for a three day speech tournament that starts tomorrow, stuff to get ready for the last day of co-op on Friday….DH’s work schedule today means that he can’t help with any of it. It helps to know that other people are in a similar place. It might just be how things are for the next few years. Lots of busyness, lots of change to navigate. But I’m also reading suggestions carefully as I think about what helpful changes I can make in the future. It will still be busy, I’m sure, but if I can relieve a little bit of the stress that will help.

My signature is out of date. DC are currently 19 (in 3 weeks), 17, 15, and 13. I’d say that everything you’ve said still applies though. I like the idea of letting them figure out the housework. I’ve been playing around with having them rework the list this summer but not quite to the level you have mentioned. I’m going to consider that. Letting them police each other is an interesting idea. DD19 graduated last year. She is not currently in school. She works a variety of odd jobs - a farm, lots of babysitting, cleans a couple of houses, teaches a few piano lessons. She takes music and art classes, goes to a Bible study, helps her grandmother. Her schedule is as hard to keep track of as DH’s. Learning to navigate life with a young adult at home has been tricky. I want her to have freedom that I didn’t have, but I’m seeing that we also need to have rules of some kind. She’s a good kid and prefers to be home but the idea of being another adult in the home and the responsibilities that come with that haven’t been sorted out yet.

I’m going to have to be more firm about this I think. We live rurally so no public transportation and getting rides from friends is tricky. Everything requires some travel time. The past few weeks my three older girls have been working a temporary job for about 20 hours a week. It’s active work and they’re tired. I get it. They also need to get school done. But they’re sleeping in til the last minute, coming home and wanting to just sit around on screens, not pitching in around the house, not getting all their school done. Mostly DD2. I’m trying to be understanding. I’ve lightened school where I can, I do some of their chores for them. But when a friend thing comes up and they suddenly have the energy for that and need me to get them there, I start to get a little irritated. Mom’s tired too. That’s on me I guess for letting it happen. Oldest DD has a license and a car she pays for so she doesn’t need much from me in regards to transportation. But she doesn’t pitch in around the house much either. DD2 needs social time more than she needs air to breathe, I think, but she’s also most likely to skip chores, get behind on school, and spend all her free time on a screen. I need to work on that this summer. If I bring it up she’s very apologetic and does better for a while, but it’s not a habit.

I’m thinking that this might just be the reality of it. I’m still working on ways to improve things for next year, but I still have 4 teenagers. Their schoolwork takes all of us a lot of time. They need to socialize. They have different interests. One needs vision therapy, maybe another. They’re getting jobs and learning to drive and preparing for their futures. I love having teenagers and watching them grow into wonderful people. But I had four kids in five years and that seems to create more work now than when they were all babies and toddlers. DH works the evening shift, sometimes 8 hours, sometimes 12, sometimes 16, sometimes anything in between, sometimes going in early, sometimes staying late, sometimes taking 4 hours on his day off like yesterday to hopefully avoid being ordered in for a shift during our DD’s speech tournament this weekend….unless he has training like he does tomorrow, in which case he’ll work day shift. He often has very little advanced notice of needing to work late (like four hours or less). Also his days off rotate weekly and alternate between 2 and 3 days, and the rotation resets every 16 weeks. It’s crazy to keep track of and he never knows what actual day of the week it is or what the kids and I have going on that day. We had a problem with his days off always being vacation when the kids were younger but we seem to have gotten the hang of getting school done when he’s home now. His weekend being T/W/Th can be tough though! Right now it’s chores and ECs that we struggle with when he’s home. He works an extremely high stress job and just wants to be home, relaxing with his family when he’s off, not running all over for activities or home alone while the rest of us go to activities. I am glad that he enjoys spending time with us. He wants to have fun with his kids. But we are often busy. It can be hard to get into a routine. Lately he’s been trying to jump in and help with chores as a way to speed that along and also spend time with the kids. It‘s a work in progress.

I do have a lot of lists. They are helpful when used. I’m going to change up some of how I do this I think. More of the “framework” idea you mentioned and then let DC have more responsibility for getting things done. Not planning breaks scares me a little. It does seem like a good idea but I worry we’d take too many breaks and not get enough schoolwork done. I know this is part of my problem. I try to do everything that looks good. “Exhausted to the core” about sums it up. The kids contribution to the running of the household is not where it should be. Especially considering how much time I spend making sure the can do what they want to do. I definitely need to work on this. One DDs chore is dishes this month but I have done nearly all of the dishes. Another was irritated to be asked to help make dinner tonight because she made dinner once last week. I realize that this has become a problem. We have a hard time with a general routine around here. DH works a non traditional schedule with rotating days off that really makes a family routine difficult. I should talk to him (again) about how we can make this work for all of us. I’m taking a closer look at ECs. I hate to say no to any of them but it‘s getting to be too much. And I have to do nearly all of it because of DH’s work schedule. I wrote it all down on the white board a couple weeks ago. There is something every single day of the week if I count church on Sunday. I put the kids initials next to each thing they do and gave them the opportunity to cross out what they no longer want to do and write in things they’d like to add so that we could discuss it. We are talking about what to cut, what to cut back on, switching some things to ones closer/shorter/less stressful, etc. Still some work to do here.

Can we talk about how to find balance in a busy homeschooling family? I have four teenagers and each year seems busier than the last. Perhaps that’s just how it goes. We’re trying to fit in schoolwork, outside activities, social needs, jobs….it’s exhausting. And of course we still need to fit in cleaning and laundry and cooking. Maybe there’s nothing to be done but hold on for the ride. I know it won’t be too much longer before all this busyness comes to an end as my DC move on with lives of their own. But for now, it’s the end of the school year and I’m tired and burnt out. We are scheduled to be done by Memorial Day at the end of this month and we might actually make it. Most of our activities are wrapping up over the next two weeks. I plan to take a nice long summer break. As I plan for next year, I’m trying to think of ways to relieve some pressure on us all next year. I want to make good use of my summer break (which can’t come soon enough). First priority is to rest after a busy year. But then I’d also like to get some planning done for school next year and work on routines that will keep the house in general running more smoothly. What sorts of things do you do to fit everything in and not feel TOO busy? How do you balance all the different aspects of your life? Schedules? Routines? Delegating responsibilities? Limits on school works or activities? I’d love to hear what works for other families.

Thank you! A common point seems to be that the experience itself will be worth it. This is a point I hadn’t considered but makes a lot of sense. Our local Community Colleges don’t require the SAT or ACT but I think they DO use the Accuplacer for placement. CC in the state system is free for students who graduate high school in our state, including homeschoolers, as long as they haven’t previously been enrolled in CC and are taking a full course load.

DD17 plans to go to community college before transferring to a four year college. Community college doesn’t require the SAT or ACT for admission so she’s considering not taking either test. She’s been homeschooled from the beginning and never taken a standardized test so I think she’s nervous about how she’d do. Are there benefits to taking one or both of these tests even though she won’t need them for community college? Is it fine to skip them? I don’t want to push her to take them if there’s no benefit, but I don’t want her to skip them if it would be helpful later on. I have absolutely no experience with college or the admission process (long story, but basically it wasn’t an option for me), and have no idea how to guide her.