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2ndGenHomeschooler

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  1. That’s amazing! I’m hoping to do the same in a few years. My situation is similar - married young, had babies, homeschooled babies….One has graduated and second is a senior. Third has two years left. Then I’d like to go to school. I’m thinking I can possibly manage that when I’m only homeschooling one. CLEP is a good idea. 
     

    GOOD LUCK! 

  2. 19 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

     

    Yes!! The questions that can easily be answered by google or that have been answered 5 million times in that exact same group.    Homeschooling takes work.  If you can't handle googling the basic information so at least your questions are specific and not overly repetitive, it may not be for you.  

    I also hate when someone asks "what's the best science (or english or math or history) program?" and everyone jumps in with a bunch of suggestions without asking - do you want secular or Christian?  What age are you looking for?  Kindergarten is very very different than high school.   How much money do you want to spend?  Do you want textbook? online? videos?  

    Yes! I answered a question like this just yesterday. I’m not sure why I bother. It was “I need a prepackaged or online curriculum. Comment with prices and pros and cons.” Ummmmm…..there are literally hundreds of options. Do you want secular, religious, traditional, classical, CM? Student strengths and/or weaknesses? Budget?  All other commenters just posted “We love x!” My follow up questions weren’t answered. 

    • Like 2
  3. Overly complicated appliances. I cleaned a new AirBnb yesterday with a new, high tech washer and dryer. I could NOT get the towels to dry. I tried the “towels” setting, “heavy duty”, manually setting the temperature on “high heat” (I think). Four hours later the towels were still damp. I assumed the dryer was broken and took all the laundry home with me to dry. Got a text later from the owner saying that the “cool” setting was on and needed to be turned off. What? Why would a dryer be on a cool setting when I told it to dry towels on heavy duty, high heat? Shouldn’t all of that have turned the cool setting OFF? And after staring at the control panel multiple times, I never saw a button for a “cool” setting. Simple is so much better. 

    • Like 6
    • Thanks 1
  4. Just now, mommyoffive said:

    Same except east and west.  I wish there was some sort of public transit.

    We live in a very small town and none of our activities are in town. There‘s no public transit anyway. The small city nearby has public transit but we have only one evening activity in that city and it ends quite late sometimes. That activity is for my younger two and I wouldn’t be comfortable having them out by themselves that late anyway. Everything else we drive about 30 minutes through fields and cow pastures and I’ve never seen busses on those roads. 
     

    Just for fun I looked up the bus schedules. We’re about 3 miles from the edge of the city and could catch a bus there. Then after two (or is it three?) transfers and a minimum of two hours actual ride time we’d be dropped off a half mile or so from one activity. And we arrive about an hour early. But the next bus is too late. So that’s a 9am departure time and home at 7pm for an activity that is from 1-3pm. (Roughly) Another activity we could get within a mile or two on the bus but the last bus home leaves an hour before the activity ends. The closest a bus gets to another activity is 15 miles. 

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  5. 3 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

    Tennis four days church one day. DD has nothing right now and I need to fix that but can’t fit any of the things she’s expressed interest in around my work schedule. The biggest downside to part time work has been activity limitations (but if I don’t there’s no money for activities)

    Yes! I’ve started doing a little part time work to help with some of the extra expenses but that just adds to the busyness and makes the schedule that much more challenging! 

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  6. 9 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

    Can he learn to adapt to only having a few kids go with him to do things? Maybe 3 kids have plans, but he can take the other 2 thrifting or to a movie or just 1.  Maybe he takes 2 thrifting in the morning and the other ones to a movie in the afternoon.  

    He’s started doing this sometimes. I think he’ll get used to it. It’s kind of sweet to see him miss being with the kids like this. I know a lot of dad’s aren’t super involved. But it’s starting to get a little frustrating too. We’ll all have to figure out ways to make this work. It’s just a new normal. 

    • Like 4
  7. 1 hour ago, Farrar said:

    Mine are graduated now, but except during the pandemic, during those years every single day. At one point, they both had major time commitment activities walking distance from each other that were a 30 minute drive in traffic. I thought about moving. I looked at houses. It's good we didn't because one activity shut down in a scandal and the other kid moved studios. But gosh, it was so much to this one suburb.

    But this is also why I made them learn to take the bus.

    No bus option for us. Our activities are in multiple towns covering almost the whole North/South distance of our small state. Fortunately we live right in the middle. 

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  8. 2 hours ago, Lecka said:

    Can you make a calendar for your husband?

    I’ve tried a family calendar with limited success. The man HATES to plan ahead. He prefers to go where the wind blows him. And he’s pretty sure the rest of us should be going the same way. Ha! 

    Or, can you put his work schedule on your calendar and go out of your way to tell him what is going on?

    We have started doing this. So when the kids want to add something in his day off we can remember to ask if he had any weekend plans before we commit. 

    Can you look on the calendar to see if there are times you could skip something to have family time when your husband is available?

    I am going to talk to the kids about this. Some things really are a lower priority and we could skip without it effecting anything. I’m also going to suggest that maybe we move school to a Saturday if he has, say, Thursday off to allow for some family time. So far they’ve been resistant to weekend school but now that they’re older maybe they’ll be able to understand the situation better. 

    Can you look for times to adjust your schedule (ask for kids to get rides or something) to be available during your husband’s time off?

    Rides can be difficult since we live rurally and things are spread out. I could make more of an effort to find out where classmates live and maybe there will be options somewhere. 

    Does he have the kind of job where you can take him a meal sometimes, or go to visit him when he’s on a break?  

    Not really. He’s a first responder in a very busy small city and rarely has time to stop for a whole meal. And if he did, that would change by the time we drove the 30 minutes to meet him. 

    I don’t think it’s *possible* when someone has a schedule like that, there is nothing that won’t involve it being a problem.  Everything will be a problem.  

    Yes, it has become a bit of a problem. And now DD has a full time job working normal business hours so time for all 6 of us to be together really will be limited. 

    I think that means it’s good to try to look for ways to be considerate or make time when he’s off work.  
     

    This is what I’m trying to figure out. Life has changed a lot in the past year and I’m trying to figure out ways to embrace the change while also making sure family time still happens. It’s tricky. 

     

  9. This is what I’m anticipating for fall:

    Monday - evening karate classes

    Tuesday - morning karate, evening Trail Life 

    Wednesday - afternoon speech and debate, evening youth group

    Thursday - piano lessons 

    Friday - co-op all day, evening youth group  and/or karate

    Saturday - morning karate (probably just me), cello lesson

    Sunday - church

     

    Vision therapy for DS (and soon DD15) is currently on Wednesday but the time won’t work with speech so that’ll have to be moved somewhere. DD15  has been sewing with my mom a couple days a week depending on their schedules so that has to go somewhere. DS’s cello lessons are easy since my brother teaches him and he lives in our downstairs apartment. He just comes up whenever he and DS are both home. But at some point brother and SIL will move and I’ll have to add that to my taxi route. 
     

    Then there’s the random job stuff - babysitting, house sitting, pet sitting, lawn mowing, house cleaning. DD17 wants a regular job. I’m starting to work a few hours a week. DD17 is close to getting her license. That will potentially be helpful once she’s allowed to drive siblings after 6 months. But right now teaching her to drive takes extra time. 
     

    It’s crazy. Manageable if we’re organized. Totally worth every moment. But crazy. 

  10. 8 hours ago, katilac said:

    Yep, and my kids would not have been excited to routinely have work to make up even to do something fun with dad. Because the work doesn't go anywhere, it's still waiting for them, and it can be hard to keep up in high school. 

    Your last sentence sums it up nicely. 

    Yes. I’ve streamlined school as much as I can this year. And we’re talking about fitting in a little here and there on weekends or doubling up on a subject if it’s a slow day just to make room to be flexible. But there’s a lot to juggle now. I’ve been talking to DH too about how this is a temporary situation and before we know it our kids will all be gone. Time to just buckle up and enjoy the ride. 

     

    8 hours ago, Tap said:

    We had activities multiple times per day. Just for perspective with 3 kids....I put 60,000 miles on a car in just over 2 years. We live in a city, not rural. LOL

    Sooo many miles on the car! We live somewhat rurally so our closest activities are 15 minutes away but many are 30. I think that’s one of DH’s concerns. I’m putting a lot of miles on our van and he’s concerned about possibly needing to replace it while there’s such limited supply and such high prices. I think I’ve put 90,000 miles on it in the past 4 years. 

     

    8 hours ago, Katy said:

    I keep a color coded whiteboard calendar in the kitchen AND my planner AND digital calendars for each child on my iphone that I invite DH to (even if he knows he won’t be there, he’ll see the schedule for the kids on his own phone. I find I need to write something down in all those places or I’ll miss something. 

    I have started a color coded white board in the kitchen. We also have a white board in the dining room (where we come in and out of the house, kind of the “hub”) that random reminders are written on. I should figure out digital calendars. Digital isn’t my favorite but it might help DH stay in the loop better. 

     

    6 hours ago, wintermom said:

    Just out of curiosity, what does dad want to do with the dc when he has the day off? Is it child-led or dad-led? I have to be honest - my teens were less excited about dropping their own activities to spend time with mom and/or dad. They like their own routines and like to have control of their own lives. It's not exactly fair, as they need mom/dad to drive them to their activities, but I did notice this shift in their preference as they got older.

    He likes to be spontaneous. Movies, thrifting, beach days. The kids are happy to do all of those things with him; they have a great relationship. But they also aren’t wanting to skip their scheduled activities. Especially our extremely social one. So it’s been a bit Rocky some “weekends”. A couple weeks ago he wanted to go to a movie later that day but was met with “I have to babysit”, “I’m sewing  with Grandma”, “We have a cleaning job”. He loves spending time with our kids and is struggling with their busy schedules. Of course his “schedule” doesn’t help AT ALL. 

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  11. Sounds like we’re pretty normal then. We have karate, speech and debate club, piano and cello lessons, co-op, two youth groups, vision therapy, and we’re adding Trail Life this fall. The girls clean their piano teacher’s house every other week but DD19 usually drives them for that. DD17 wants to get a job. Most things are once a week except for karate which is a couple of days. Add church on Sundays and we’re out of the house almost every day. Sometimes there’s nothing on Saturdays. I’m thinking I can talk to the kids and we can split things by high priority and low priority. Then maybe drop a low priority activity periodically when DH has the day off. I think maybe he just got used to us being home most of the time when the kids were younger. But if they went to school they’d be gone at least five days a week plus any weekend activities and I’d still be driving them to at least some extracurricular activities. 

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  12. As I’ve been planning out our school year and thinking through our days, I’m also seeing that we will spending more time out of the house for classes and activities than we ever have before. I think it‘s doable but I don’t know what’s “normal” at these ages and for homeschool families. DC are 19, 17, 15, and 13. DD19 basically does her own thing but I’m still managing the scheduling and driving for the other three. DH works an afternoon/evening schedule with days off that rotate weekly and a lot of overtime, so he can’t help with much. When he does have those rotating days off, he has no idea where we’re at in the routine or what things are happening that day. (It’s understandable. His work schedule messes ability to keep track of those things.) He often thinks we should be able to just drop everything and have a “weekend” as a family, even though it might be a Tuesday. He sometimes thinks we do too much but has no suggestions of what to drop. I think our schedule is pretty normal for a family with four teenagers. Busy. Before I say what we do, I’d love to hear what other families’ schedules outside the house are like. 

  13. 40 minutes ago, Lady Marmalade said:

    At my store we let high school kids get by with just two evenings a week, and definitely accomodate for kids with activities. We allow temporary time off for up to 3 months for a sport, play, or other activity.  Kids who want to work 20-24 hours a week get the hours, and kids who only want to work 6, get their hours.  Wa have college kids who worked for us in high school come back and work summers, Christmas, and other breaks as they want.  It works out fabulous, as our full timers like to take more time off around the holidays and in the summer when the college kids are around to pick up those hours. 

    If you can find the right work culture that wants to invest in young people, your child's first job can be much more than just a few dollars in the bank account.  

    This sounds great! I’m hoping we can find something like this. My girls have all done seasonal farm work, babysitting, house cleaning, yard work, etc but those things are hit or miss. Having something she can count on year round would be great. She works hard and supervisors from seasonal jobs ask all my girls to come back and bring their brother when he turns 14, so she has that going for her. Our friends don’t tend to have their teens work so I don’t know what the local culture is surrounding teen workers. But hoping she can find something like what you describe here. 

  14. 1 hour ago, BlsdMama said:

    So our oldest didn't work during her high school years, our second and third did at Chic FilA, our 4th, 5th, and 6th did at a grocery store. 
    Both businesses were closed on Sundays and that gave us an in common day off as a family day.

    My takeaways? The first clearly understood academics were her priority.  The 2nd and 3rd loved the staff and the crazy hecticness of CFA and felt a loyalty that kept them saying yes to hours when they should have said no. That said, leadership qualities were nurtured and that was valuable.  4, 5, and 6 all worked at a semi-local grocery store - no late nights, 6-12 hours a week, no hectic pace, low pressure environment.

    Our firstborn wishes she had worked earlier because she worked and did college and commuted -starting all three at the same time when she had no experience in time management. It was a steep learning curve so I am pro-kids working in hs, but I think minimal hours -10, give or take a few. In our experience, all employers who regularly use hs kids as staff expect to work around extra-curriculars. That has never been an issue.

    We don’t have a Chick-fil-a anywhere close by so that option won’t work for us. But DH doesn’t have Sundays off regularly anyway. He works a rotating schedule so there’s no point in trying to co-ordinate kids work schedules. 
     

    I was thinking that 12-15 hours a week might be the most I’d want her to work. At least at first while she’s learning to manage her time. But I wasn’t sure if that was too little. Good to know that it’s normal. 
     

    I would like DD to start working now so that she can learn to manage her schedule. I think she’d really struggle if she tried to start work and college all at the same time. Our kids will have to work while they’re in college. There’s really no other way for them to do it. 

  15. 8 hours ago, Starr said:

    Finding a regular employer with flexibility wasn’t possible for my dc. They cat sat, baby sat, did yard work, and I don’t remember what all. 

    This is kind of what she’s doing now. But she’s kind of “competing” with two sisters so it’s not a lot. This worked great for DD19. Being the oldest, she got most of the jobs. It’s a sore spot for DD17 actually. 

     

    14 hours ago, SKL said:

    Is it possible for her to get hired and do the training while it's still summer?  IME the training period tends to be less flexible and more intense than the rest.

    Jobs at this level tend to have random schedules (and very part-time).  The kids have to be flexible within the hours they report as being available.

    My kids' employers have asked them to advise at least a few weeks ahead of times when they cannot work (if possible).  By the time you're on the schedule (about 2 weeks ahead), you are expected to show up for that shift unless you're sick.  Swapping shifts may also be an option.

    My kids also have school stuff that can conflict with work stuff.  Depending on how serious my kids are about the activity, they may either block the time off work, or inform the coaches that they need to skip practice for work.

    I'm not sure what is a normal range of hours for this age group during the school year.  I would prefer to start small and see how the kid does.  Some kids perform better with more structured demands, some with less.

    This is part of why I’d like to help her find something sooner rather than later. Her school conflicts be til spring and if she can get training done before school gets too crazy that would be best for all of us. 

     

    7 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

    My kid with a serious sport couldn’t work. It seemed the only kids in his sport who could were ones that worked for friends or family that just let them work when they were available. Otherwise the sport schedule was just too unpredictable for regular employment.

    The other thing is that as far as getting hours you want a place that is open alot of hours and needs a lot of employees. Some kind of specialty shop that only needs 1-2 employees at a time is going to get you less hours and be harder to get time off when needed. One ds worked for a small sandwich shop and if more than one person asked off it was a big drama. 
     

    Chik Fil A can be good because they are usually used to working with teens and they have the built in day off on Sunday. So if Sunday is the best day for you to work that is not great but otherwise you can know you will have Sundays off. 
     

    All these places run the risk of taking advantage of kids, skirting labor laws, putting undue pressure on them to work long hours, work off the clock, etc. So something to be aware of with kid jobs. Sometimes they lack the life experience to even know something doesn’t seem right or how to push back on it. My kids have had some that were meticulous about following every law and others that flagrantly ignored them. 

    In general I think it works best to get established somewhere before you start asking for a lot of schedule accommodations. I think jobs can be good for teens but they should also live their teen life. Of course they should be responsible and ask off in a timely way and everything but employers shouldn’t act like their business hinges on a teenager having total availability to them. We’ve had to coach ours through this balance. 

     

    These are some great points. Thanks. I hadn’t thought about the size of the business. She wants to look at small coffee shops and cafes but from a flexibility standpoint it really might be best to apply at something like the big chain grocery store. I’ll talk to her about this. 
     

    I hadn’t thought about the pressure she might experience to work longer hours. This is a conversation we should have too. 

  16. DD17 will be a senior in high school this fall. She would like to get a job and start putting away some money for future plans. She‘s worked odd jobs and seasonal jobs the past couple of years but would like something more steady. I didn’t have a regular job during high school and neither did DD19 so I’m not quite sure what to expect, so I’m wondering what others’ experiences have been. How many hours a week did your DC work? I’m wondering how many hours she can fit into her schedule. What about time off? DD is involved in a few things that will require time off - traveling for speech tournaments, extra drama rehearsals the week of performances, stuff like that. Are employers understanding of those kinds of things, especially if she is otherwise a good employee? I feel like these are silly questions but I’m trying to think through how this would go.

  17. I once packed away a library with the Christmas books (they don’t stay out year round). The next Christmas the books weren’t unpacked so it was a year and a half til we found it. The library just kept renewing it the whole time so we never had to pay for it. 

    • Like 1
  18. 25 minutes ago, 73349 said:

    We charge DS's and my phones in my room, in the opposite corner from my side of the bed so I myself do not use the phone when I should be going to sleep.

    I use an app called YourHour to lock me out of apps I can spend too much time on. I would install it (or similar) on each phone, show them how to work it, and point out that they can set it so they can't just change the settings and squander more time on something that's not in line with their plans.

    DS (15) is not allowed on social media, and when he is, I will encourage him to only use it from a laptop, which is how I use it. DH chooses not to use it at all. We don't have Spotify/Pandora/Prime Music, so the mp3's we've bought are the only music on the phones.

    OTOH, Habitica is a free app that can help get tasks done for those who tend to forget or let things slide.

     

    I like the idea of an app to help with limits, and letting the kids set their own. I know my kids have things they want to do. But it’s so hard not to lose track of time on a screen. It’s hard for me and I know it’s even harder for my kids. 
     

    Thanks for the ideas. I have some ideas now of how to approach this in a collaborative way with my kids, guiding them to figure out their own limits as they learn how to be in control of all of the electronics available to them. DH and I had a good conversation about it and one big thing we know we need to do is model for them how and when to use technology appropriately. And that includes talking about what we do and why we do it. 
     

     

    • Like 2
  19. 3 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

    I’d rather that my kids learn to self regulate in their teen years than not be able to handle independent life in college. I have seen WAY too many strict parents have kids who, once they get a bit of freedom, can’t cope with everything (all of the freedoms—money management, time management, electronics, dating, etc.) hitting at once. 
     

    I have no problem with music happening whenever. For two of mine, it actually helps them focus. I have no problem with using the Libby app to read books or using YouTube to learn skills or any of the other beneficial ways we use technology. I also have no problem with free choice in downtime. But, productive life needs to happen also. Chores, schooling, work….those things come first. If a kid wants to fold laundry while listening to a true crime podcast, no problem. If a kid games when they should be working on algebra = problem.

    It’s clear you don’t love electronics for teens. I would advise you not to be heavy handed in how you deal with things. Teens are almost adults. Guide, don’t control, iykwim.

    I agree with this. DH and I were talking about this during lunch today. I don’t want to be overly strict, harsh, or controlling. I was listening to music today while cleaning out the fridge, I don’t have a problem with that. I’m on my phone now. So I’m not against their use of technology. It‘s the world we live in. But I do want to help them learn to control it. I don’t want them to miss out on life or give up hobbies because they can’t turn off a screen. It’s a tricky thing to figure out. We didn’t have all these things when I was a teenager in the 90s. 

  20. 9 minutes ago, SKL said:

    Was everything getting done without reminders before the phones came along?

    Well, no. So that was an issue already. It was screen related though, I think. Not phones but computers, kindles, gaming systems….Adding the phones certainly hasn’t helped and attitudes are worse when I remind them. 
     

    2 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

    Did you see the breakdown on phone usage? My phone usage was 8hrs yesterday according to my iPhone, however an hour was log as the screen being on in Lock Screen mode. I also did an iOS update yesterday and that took some time as well. The hour on YouTube was at the dentist while my kid was getting his dental cavities filled. Also, I have a tendency to leave my screen on at WhatsApp if replying someone while needing to find the info, or at a thread in the forum screen if I need to do something but I want to read the thread (e.g. Melissa’s illness update thread) after I am done. So my screen time is significantly higher than the actual time.

    I think it is a similar reaction to any new gadget like new TV, gaming set. After the initial thrill is over, some would stay “addicted” and some would put their attention elsewhere.

    However, I would focus on time management for your older two kids as they would need phones more and more for school and using controls and limits would get harder for practical reasons. For example, DS18’s college requires two factor authentication (2FA) so he needs his phone to access the student portal, read his student emails, and basically to access anything that requires a login using his student ID requires 2FA. Our community college does not require 2FA so he only needs that for college. Which also means he has to remember to charge his cellphone nowadays.

    It’s possible that wasn’t a completely accurate number but it did seem that every time I turned around she was on her phone. And not just picking it up to check something, but in the recliner watching videos and texting. 

  21. 1 hour ago, Danae said:

    I would focus on what they’re not getting done rather than on the phones, especially with the 19 year old.  If she’s not keeping up with responsibilities around the house that is an area you have standing to address.  
     

    The only limits we set on music is earbuds out when someone is talking to you.  That includes at meals or when playing a game, watching a movie, or doing an activity with other people.  Other than that they’re welcome to listen while they’re doing things.  Part of that is that I don’t like background noise, so I don’t want music playing out loud but I know that some people work better with it.  Earbuds/headphones are the perfect solution.

    Focusing on what’s not getting done is going to be a big part of how we address this. My kids don’t have tons of chores but they do have areas of the house that they are responsible for. And those mostly aren’t being done. And definitely not without me reminding them. It’s an annoying issue but one I know I’m at least partially responsible for allowing. 

    • Like 1
  22. 49 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

    65 hours a week on the phone?  Holy s... That wouldn't fly in my house at all. 

    My kids attend online school, so when the school year is in session there is way more laptop time.  But in summertime they don't get their computers. i want them to be on screens as little as possible in the summer. They basically have to check them out from me for a certain time and need to say what they are going to be doing.  They only use them for email and doing something educational.   But they are also very busy with ballet and other things that take up their whole days over the summer.   But my kids all love the less screens and find tons of things to do on their own too.

    I don't let my kids use headphones because I don't think they are good for your hearing.  And if you want to listen to music fine, go to your room and don't use headphones.  

    Some of my older kids have phones sort of.  We don't say the phones are theirs more a family phone that can be traded around to who needs it.  They don't go in their rooms.  They are really only allowed to be used for phone calls, texting, and the camera.  Once in a blue moon read an email, but that is a very rare occurrence.   But then the texting is kind of controlled too.  The phones don't go to rooms, texting isn't allowed during school hours and homework time.  And if I notice someone spending a bunch of time on it then I will tell them time is up for texting.  

    We don't have phones at the table ever. 

    And we just are so used to it that it doesn't feel restrictive to us.  Just how we are as a family.  

    And when school or work is over we just put screens away.  Phones in drawers, laptops on a shelf, and on and on.  And go spend time together screen free.  You get used to doing that as your habit.

    Do your kids have things to do other than this week of camp?

    Yeah….the 65 hours was shocking. It’s not going to fly here either. So DH and I are trying to figure out how we’re going to handle it. He’s working on setting controls and limits on individual devices right now. DD17 has had the phone two weeks now but 4 of those days she’s been at camp. By the end of the first phone week I had a couple of crabby, angry kids who were constantly fighting with each other. Reminded me why we waited so long to get phones in the first place. I’m wondering if there’s something about the smaller screen that’s worse than a larger one? 
     

    We had a no screens in bedrooms rule but when DH went in yo say goodnight to the girls the other night there were constant notification alarms going off from texts from friends. It was a big group chat with friends all excited about camp, and all three girls are in the chat so each text was x3, but still….he went in at 11:30pm just after he got home from work. He took all the phones. 
     

    We have very little planned for August. I don’t want that to be a problem. We‘ll be planning some family “adventures” out of the house but I want us to be able to be home without a having screen problem too. I wasn’t planning to start school til September and I really don’t want to change that to give everyone something to do (I REALLY need a break), but it’s an option. 

    • Like 1
  23. Our family has been slower than some to allow lots of tech in the house (for a combination of ideological and financial reasons) but over the past couple of years I think we have “caught up” to much of the rest of the culture. As of two weeks ago our younger three teens are the happy owners of their own cell phones. We also have gaming systems, kindles, laptops, and multiple styles of earphones and earbuds. The addition of the phones has suddenly seemed to push the tech use in our house past the point where I am comfortable and to the point where I think it is becoming unhealthy for a couple of my DC. 
     

    My DC are all away at camp this week (tech free) and I’m thinking through what kind of limits I want in place for when they get home. DC are 19, 17, 15, and 13. Due to ages, and especially with the 19yo, I want any changes to include loads of discussion and encouragement for DC to impose their own limits. I’m wondering how other families do this. 
     

    I won’t be imposing any “rules” on DD19 but I do want to encourage her to monitor herself. She has more to do outside the house than the others but when she’s home she’s mostly on her phone. She’s not keeping up with her responsibilities around the house or spending much time on hobbies anymore. DD17 is the one I’m most concerned about. Her screen time tracking says 65 hours last week. And that’s only on her phone. She also spent time on her laptop. When she reads a book or does chores she has earphones on listening to music. I generally have to tell her to do those things, otherwise she’s on a screen. This can’t be healthy. DD15 can take or leave tech. If I said we were going tech free for a week she’d shrug her shoulders and find something to do. She’ll use her phone or kindle but is more likely to be found playing the piano, drawing, reading, or doing a puzzle. I’m not so concerned about her. DS13 bounces between computer, kindle (fire, he doesn’t read unless coerced), play station, and phone. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself if I say “screens off”, but he doesn’t complain or give me a hard time about it. 
     

    There are no devices allowed at camp so I thought implementing some changes when they get home on Saturday would be ideal. They’ll already be at least partially detoxed. I need to talk to DH about this of course but I’m wondering what other families do. Do you set limits on listening to music? Especially with headphones where the listener is out of touch with the actual people they live with? Or am I overthinking that one? DD15 will literally listen to music for 10-12 hours a day. 
     

    I’m open to all experiences and advice from “it’s fine, they’ll self regulate eventually” to “they’re all addicted so lock it all up”. I’m sure I won’t be going to either of those extremes but I’m interested to hear how other families of teenagers deal with this as well as what’s worked for you and what hasn’t. 

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  24. My kids are all going to camp next week and I was SO excited about it. DH works the afternoon/evening shift so I was looking forward to hours and hours alone to do whatever I wanted. Then I started thinking through the week. Monday I’ll drive kids up to camp for afternoon check in, including a couple extras who are sleeping over Sunday night. It’s about 3 hours one way so that’s the day. Tuesday morning I have to teach a karate class. DH has W/Th/F off of work. Saturday morning I pick the kids up early. So I get Tuesday afternoon and evening to myself and that’s it. I’m sure it’ll be great having a few days just with DH but I was really looking forward to the quiet and time to do whatever I wanted. I was going to get together with friends, read, watch movies I like that no one else does, play the piano and sing, maybe organize some closets, go through school stuff for next year…..I might be able to do some of that with DH home but not all. I need to think of “couple” things now so I’m not disappointed at the end of the week. 

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