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2ndGenHomeschooler

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Everything posted by 2ndGenHomeschooler

  1. It feels weird to discourage a year of Bible college. So many people we know think it‘s wonderful. But there are so many cheaper, easier ways to study the Bible if that’s what she really wants to do. Unless she wanted to go into some sort of ministry of course, but that’s not her goal. This is a tough one for me because I have a lot of baggage in this area. I don’t want to bring that into it or let it color my perspective, but of course it does in some ways. I’m sure it‘a not exactly like being camp for a year. I think the friends’ mom who was telling me about was describing it to me that way as a selling point, but I don’t think young adults need to spend a year at “camp” so that was another check in the negative box for me. So here I am trying to find and walk a fine line between supporting my DD while also encouraging her to think carefully about what she chooses to do. We can’t pay for it, and it’s nice in a way that we don’t have the option. I’m not helping fill out the application but I answer questions about it if she asks. I encouraged her to read through the website and handbook carefully, read about the teachers, and listen to them speak if she can find anything online. I filled out the FAFSA and will be sure her transcript is ready. I told her some of my concerns but also let her know that I‘d support whatever decision she makes. I’m researching other options. And then I’m hoping and praying that everything works out as it’s supposed to. Parenting young adults is hard. Thanks for the suggestion of Christian gap year programs. I wasn’t quite sure what search term to use and I think this will be helpful.
  2. YES! On paper it looks like we make a lot of money. But less than six figures for a family of six in this state puts us below middle class according to what I’ve read. My DH is a first responder and I’ve supplemented his income over the years teaching piano lessons and now cleaning an Airbnb. Our kids work odd jobs and get regular jobs as soon as they are able to provide their own spending money. We’ve learned to live within our means and are mostly comfortable but these college calculators seem to think our income goes further than it actually does. It’s ok. We’ve managed to provide our kids some great opportunities by doing a lot of research, being resourceful, and thinking outside the box. We’ll just have to do the same for college.
  3. I have heard this, but I don’t think we’d be considered low income and my kids aren’t high achieving academically. I pretty much dragged one through school and the next one didn’t start really applying herself til this year. And she struggles with math. My next one does pretty well but has no desire to go to college and is very likely dyslexic which gets in the way sometimes.
  4. This DD has been a puzzle to me for all of her teenage years. She greatly disliked school and pushed back all through high school. We eventually managed to accomplish the absolute basics. She’s artist and creative and enjoys painting, drawing, crocheting, music, baking, flower arranging, etc. She did NOT like it if I tried to incorporate these things into her school work in any way. She does not want to work in any related fields. She thinks if she does any of these things for a job that she’ll end up hating them. She’s excellent with kids and running a group and teaching. She’s not interested in making a career out of any of those things either. She has a friend at the Bible college and another going in the spring. They tell her school is like being at camp. The one friend has been there a year already, is on the soccer team, involved in music, and has a boyfriend. DD isn’t breaking into that and I’ve tried to gently point that out. She isn’t interested in the limited sports opportunities there or participating in the very conservative music programs. So she would take a bunch of Bible classes. She enjoyed a Bible Study she did locally and thinks she might enjoy getting the Bible certificate. Except that she absolutely hates to write (it took until her senior year before she could write an almost decent paragraph), and isn’t understanding that she will have to write in school. I think she mostly wants an experience away from home. I don’t think this is a good way to get it. I worry that the school seems legalistic and I would prefer my kids avoid that. I don’t think it’s a good use of her time or money. I don’t see how it would allow for any of the things she loves and that make her who she is. I’ve had a few conversations with her about it, trying to share my concerns as carefully as possible while also figuring out exactly what she‘s looking to accomplish there. I think there are much better ways to find what she’s looking for. A local young adult Bible Study, getting an apartment with a friend, a short term missions trip or volunteer work, anything really. She has recently started a full time job that basically dropped into her lap out of nowhere. She’s saving most of what she makes toward this certificate program. She’s working for a small company building camera scopes. She seems to really enjoy it and it sounds like she’s picking it up quickly. I’m hoping working there gives her some direction. In the meantime, I’m trying to walk a fine line of being supportive while also sharing my own experiences, regrets, and concerns.
  5. Yes, I’ve heard all the “tons of financial aid” and “unclaimed scholarship money” points a lot. I didn’t quite realize how unrealistic that could all be. Also, my oldest two DD are unlikely, I think, to score higher than average on SAT/ACT tests so additional aid for high scores won’t be an option. Maybe I’ll encourage them to at least take some practice tests to see. We won’t have help from grandparents for sure. One set has offered but their help will be refused as they will likely be unable to really even provide for themselves in a few years. There is one relative who could help with college expenses, but while we have a good relationship, it’s not nearly close enough to expect or ask for help. I was playing around with some net price calculators this morning and its looking like living at home while taking the CC -> state university route will be by far the cheapest. Since the girls will be paying for school themselves I think I will encourage them to do this for the schools they’re looking at attending. Might help the “reality” conversations going forward.
  6. The more I read, the more I think this will be our reality too. I want DD to attend the private Christian school she’s looking at. I think it would be a good fit for her and it‘s where her friends will be, but I’m not willing to do it at the expense of DH and I taking on debt we really can’t afford. We have worked very hard and live very frugally to remain debt free (except our mortgage). We have other DC at home to consider and we want to be financially set as we age so that our adult DC are not burdened financially caring for us (as we may be with one set of our parents). The friends who are sending their kids away to school seem to be in similar financial situations as us so I assumed we’d be able to make the same decisions. Now I’m realizing that there may be many other factors and perspectives involved.
  7. We’re in CT. I think there’s good CC to university agreements here but DD isn’t really interested in going there at this point. Maybe we should look into it though.
  8. I know we need to make sure her credits will transfer if we go that route. I learned that this summer talking to a friend who’s fighting her DC school to accept something. That was, I think, the point where I realized there was more to this than I first thought. I think our state has guaranteed admission between CC and state 4 year schools. Problem is, DD wants to go out of state after CC. We may need to rethink that. Or at least do a lot more research before we decide. Good tip for how to search for information. Thanks.
  9. I didn’t realize that attending CC first could effect the cost of the four year school later. That’s really good to know. Another thing to check into. We were thinking of skipping the SAT since it wouldn’t be needed for CC but maybe we should consider doing it anyway. I really should have started researching all of this sooner. But I had no idea there could be so much to consider.
  10. We’re in New England. Are these scholarships for residents of those states or anyone?
  11. Thank you! I filled out the FAFSA this summer when DD19 surprised us with “I want to college”. But then I never heard anything back. I was reading in another thread that there’s a specific time this needs to be filled out? Is that right? I’ve done some calculators for estimates and it looks like we might be in the “high needs” category, or slightly above depending on the estimate. We don’t want our kids to have tons of debt so I’m glad there are limits, but that also limits their options a lot. But that could be a helpful place to start as well.
  12. Interesting to hear the different paths your kids have taken. Thank you. My DH and I want to help our kids as much as possible but it really looks like that will be smaller amounts here and there to help with books and/or incidentals, rather than paying for school in general.
  13. DD19 insisted she was never going to college so I didn’t look into it much for her. I figured if she ever went it would be to our local community college. Then out of nowhere this summer she told us she wanted to get away for a year for the experience and wants to go to a small Bible college with a friend for a one year Bible certificate. Not my first choice for her at all but I’m trying to be supportive and figure this out. DD17 is a senior and plans to start at community college and then transfer to a four year school to finish her degree. Our state has a free tuition program that includes homeschoolers so I think we can do that. We just need to make sure the credits will transfer to the school she wants to go to. And that that school is a viable option. Right now her plan includes getting a doctorate in her field of interest. I don’t really see that being the best fit for her, but again, I’m trying to be supportive and figure out how this could work.
  14. So I can talk to the financial aid offices of schools even before they apply? That would be helpful. Are they likely to give me accurate information and a decent ballpark figure? Not exact of course, but close enough to be useful? A question about merit aid….how would I know if my DC are likely to get merit aid? Is this based off of SAT/ACT test scores? Neither of my older DDs have taken these. Can students who have already graduated take them?
  15. I need someone to explain paying for college, like you’d explain it to a 5 year old. DH and I know next to nothing about how this works. I didn’t attend college and grew up in circles where college was discouraged and therefore not discussed. DH went to one semester at a small private Christian school but it was paid for with preacher kid discounts and an on campus job. So many people send their kids to school that I figured the process couldn’t be too complicated. Now I have a couple of kids looking to go next year and I’m realizing that it’s very complicated. And expensive. DH and I aren’t going to be able to contribute much, if anything. And I’m reading that there are limits to how much students can borrow? DC are working and saving to be able to pay for school themselves but I’m not sure that will be enough and I’m not sure if their savings will count against the aid they can get. So how does this work? I don’t want them to have loads of debt, although I guess we need to plan on some, and DH and I aren’t comfortable taking any on. DD19 is looking at a one year certificate program at a tiny private Christian school, mostly for the experience. DD17 is planning to start at CC and then transfer to a larger private Christian school. But I don’t know how to navigate this financially.
  16. We’ve already done a light Geometry (MUS). She did fine with it. She seems to be coming around to the necessity of reviewing Algebra. I think she’s been talking to friends who are either in college or making plans to go and she’s realizing that she won’t be able to get out of taking math in college. I think it’s finally sinking in that her best bet is to review as much as possible this year, fill in the holes and gaps, and be as solid as possible in what she DOES know. I’m not sure we’ll get all the way through Algebra 2 again, but we’re making good progress on Algebra 1 so far, just finding little things that she’s forgotten or never quite understood completely. I’m really considering dropping speech for DD3. I need to talk to DH about. This is something he’s insisting on. He’s usually fine with me doing whatever I want for school and doesn’t really have much of an opinion, but for some reason he feels very strongly about this. But I’m going to talk to him about letting her drop it. There’s about 10 weeks left so she might just have to push through and do it. We definitely won’t be making her do it past this semester though.
  17. She is actually in a musical. Rehearsals start next month and the performance is in the spring. After watching DD2 compete in speech last year, DH feels strongly that the other two try it out for one season. They don’t have to compete, just attend the classes, do the homework, and deliver the speech they prepare at the end. I don’t disagree with him exactly, but I am having some doubts about the importance of it for this particular child. I think the speech thing is anxiety related. It‘s interesting. This DD was in a musical last year and had a solo. She teaches groups of kids at karate. So it‘s not the being on stage or in front of a group that’s the problem. I think it’s the idea of sharing her own thoughts and opinions. Which is a different, but also valuable skill. I do think she’ll feel better about it after a few more weeks. The teachers are kind and reasonable. The class is small and fairly laid back. The goal is really to help each individual student move forward from where they are. DD2 has done Algebra 1 and 2 and geometry. We’ve done a little consumer math but just bits and pieces here and there. I don’t grade much, we just make corrections together, so I don’t know where she‘d score on any tests. I should have slowed her down at some point last year. She was getting lost and we weren’t reviewing enough. But she was doing the same math as DD3 and trying to keep up (these girls have VERY different interests and strengths). She was discouraged that her younger sister was having an easier time of it and quit trying. But it’s my fault too for not slowing down. So we’re reviewing starting with Algebra 1 to figure out where exactly the breakdown happened. She did better this week working hard and being willing to accept my help. We’ll see how it goes moving forward and possibly switch gears if it‘s not working.
  18. I know probably most homeschool parents doubt themselves at times. Usually I can confidently proceed with my plan in spite of the kids’ minor complaints. They usually get over it and do what I ask, and I have confidence in my decisions. But tonight I’m doubting myself and really wondering if I’m the right thing. My kids are involved in a fair number of activities, all carefully chosen. Most are things they want to do, but not always. A lot of thought and research goes into the school subjects we study and the materials we will use. I’m open to change if it’s obvious that it’s needed but I also think sometimes teenagers just have to do things they don’t want to do. But sometimes it’s so hard to know if I’m doing the right thing. My oldest pushed back against almost all schoolwork. I insisted that she at least cover the basics at a basic level. But there were times I really wondered if I should just let her unschool and follow her interests, which are all artistic in nature. She insisted she had no plans of attending college. I’ve graduated her now and she works full time. Now she’s talking about college. Makes me feel better for pushing her. My second is a senior and struggles with math. So this year I decided that we’re going to back track and spend the year reviewing Algebra. She has been really unhappy about this. She knows she can’t go on but she also hates going back. I’ve wondered if I should just accept that math isn’t her strength and not worry about it this year. But she has big college plans and she’ll need to be able to do math. So we press on. She‘s had a better attitude about it this week at least. This year my DH and I decided that our three DC who are still in school will all participate in a local speech club for the fall as part of their English credit for this year. DD2 did it last year and loved it. She competed and advanced to regionals. It’s an EC for her. DS is reluctantly participating but doesn’t complain much. He’s willing to go just to see his friends another day each week. DD3 HATES it. (Between vacation and sickness she’s only attended once so far.) She is my child who is least likely to complain about things. But she cried last week while she was getting ready to go and tonight she’s crying while working on the homework. At this point a lot of the homework is working on writing her speech. She generally writes fine but we think the feedback from someone besides me will be useful. We also think a little experience standing in front of a group and speaking is useful for everyone. But she really isn’t happy about it. We told her we just want her to do it for one semester but that’s not helping. I hate seeing her so miserable and am wondering if I should let her drop out. Being a parent is hard sometimes. Being a homeschooling parent is hard sometimes. Being a parent of four teenagers is hard sometimes. That’s all.
  19. What do you mean “anyone who wants to see”? Does that mean that people can have their settings in a way that allows them to see whatever their friends comment on? Or just that if they looked for comments they could find them? If my comments on a public page that I follow show up in my friends’ notifications…..yikes. I don’t like that at all. Maybe I just won’t comment anymore. I seldom do unless I have something that I think would be really helpful to someone else. But these comments could also be hurtful to people I care about. Not because I intend to hurt anyone, of course, but because my views now differ from some people I care about who ate in public positions. I’d rather they not find out about that on social media. The page has been helpful to me in processing some things but I’m thinking it’d be best to read only, rather than joining in the conversation.
  20. If I comment on a post on a page I follow, will be friends be able to see it if they don’t also follow that page? I know it‘s a public page so technically what I post is visible. I’m wondering if my friends need to also follow the page in order to see my comments or if this public page, and my comments, will show up in my friends’ feed just because I commented. I recently commented on something that I’m not sure I want my whole friends list to see. If they also follow that page, that’s fine. But it’s a different viewpoint than many in my circles and I don’t know if I’m ready for my opinions to be quite that public to some people I’m close to. If there’s a low chance all of my friends can see the page and the comments then I’ll leave them. But if everyone can see them I think I’ll delete them and not comment again.
  21. The first step to solving a problem is realizing that you have one. So good job there. I understand the feeling like you have to do all the things. I did that when my kids were younger. But I can assure you, it absolutely will backfire. One year I tried to do ALL of the math to make sure we didn’t have any holes and had covered each topic from all angles. We used Singapore math as our main curriculum. (BTW, have you done a placement test to be sure Dimensions 4 is the correct placement for your DD? Or did she do Dimensions 3 in school last year? Math placement is important!). To that we added Beast Academy a couple days a week so DC could have some experience with the discovery method. Then we did Life of Fred on Fridays along with math games. We did math facts speed drills and flash cards every day. There might have been another curriculum too but I don’t remember now. The result of trying to use all of these math programs? We burnt out and made very little math progress that year. My DC were confused because of the constantly changing topics, styles, and terminology. Everyone hated math and fought me on it and so learned nothing. The next year we went back to just one program and slowed it down and it went SO much better. If you REALLY want to use multiple programs for one subject, then do as others have suggested and plan it out so that you’re only doing one at a time. (And don’t do it for math. That was a complete disaster.) I have used multiple programs for history before and it was fine. But do units as a PP suggested or plan how they fit together in advance. I used multiple history programs because I liked and disliked different parts of each. So before the school year started, I’d gather the curriculum and supplements I wanted to use and see how I could fit them together. I was really using them as tools to teach the topics I wanted to teach. For example, one day we’d read a chapter of SOTW, the next day we’d read a library book on the same topic, then we’d watch videos online and look at related pages in a history encyclopedia, then we’d finish the week with a map. But we didn’t do all of that in one day and I had a plan going in (flexible and open to change, but a plan). Forth grade can be a really fun year. Learn some math, improve writing skills, read fiction and nonfiction on whatever interests you both, do some science and history, go on field trips, have some great conversations. But please don’t be pressured to have your 10 year old learn all the things right now. She has years and years of school and life left to learn things. Your goal is to make her WANT to continue learning at the end of this school year. Oh….and absolutely listen to whatever Lori and 8filltheheart tell you. They know what they’re talking about!
  22. I’ve graduated one and know less about homeschooling now than when I started 14 years ago. So I’m not that person. Ha! I have another senior this year so maybe when she’s done I’ll be qualified. Then again, she started school today (by her own choice) and we’d already had an argument about school before 10am so it’s not looking hopeful.
  23. I’m all too familiar with that other curriculum, unfortunately. You’d think other companies and organizations would learn from the massive failures of the ones who’ve gone before.
  24. That’s amazing! I’m hoping to do the same in a few years. My situation is similar - married young, had babies, homeschooled babies….One has graduated and second is a senior. Third has two years left. Then I’d like to go to school. I’m thinking I can possibly manage that when I’m only homeschooling one. CLEP is a good idea. GOOD LUCK!
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