Ds is on spring break, so the waiting is over....I finally got to see Black Panther. I loved every minute of it. It was amazingly well done, and the women...WOW, such powerful roles! ETA: And as always, I love to see a little of Georgia's burgeoning film industry in a movie :-)

Yes! Once you see a minor, you close the files and go straight to the police.

ETA: I agree that the friend should not tell or show the girls or their parents. The police need to handle that part, too. The friend can identify the girls she recognizes to the police, but they usually crop the pictures to just faces before they ask outsiders to identify. Seriously, the cops have a process that helps them get convictions. Letting them do their job greatly increases the chance that this guy gets off the streets!

I would definitely turn it over to the police and answer all of their questions calmly and honestly. This is too serious to let go or try to handle herself.

I wouldn’t like driving and parking an unfamiliar huge car in an unfamiliar city. When I drove the big truck, there were places the lanes weren’t wide enough (my large mirrors were in the other lane!). Some places become essentially one way when people park or stop on one side. Some parking decks seem to be designed for smaller cars....I guess you can at least crawl out the back of the Suburban. That said, it’s only a mild frustration when you know the car and know the city. I vote for renting something or maybe parking in a surbuban lot and taking the train in each day, if that’s an option.

So true!!!

We joke about the 10 foot rule in my house...the poodle must be within 10 feet of Mommy at all times. If I move out of range, she gets up to follow. At this point I just consider her a therapy dog.

Poodles absolutely love their people. But they are also super smart and love puzzles and challenges. You know how you have special toys for the kids when you are doing something important? Try to get some yard-only toys, maybe tied to a tree...possibly a puzzle box with a treat, a kong filled with something yummy, or one of those treats/bones that is too messy to allow in the house. Basically you need to find something more reinforcing than your presence.

Thanks! I was hoping early May would be good. I do need to make the tickets as inexpensive as possible for me to go along. Ds’s college money will be used to pay for his part, but I need to figure out how I can manage my side

Would it be good for someone married to someone with PTSD? I guess more specifically, if someone married to someone with PTSD has fallen out of love with their spouse and is considering leaving them, would this read push them one way or the other? Or just make them feel heard? Does it by chance have a happy ending with the spouses together?

Update (3/20/2018): We are all three going!! Second week in May, but just 7 days. First question is solved, but all other advice would be even more appreciated now! Ds may have an opportunity to tour a lab and spend a week in Barcelona. It would probably be early May as soon as his semester is over. I've never been to Europe, so if we can afford it, I might go along and tour a bit while he learns. I also have a niece in Scotland I might be able to see on the same trip. I have a million questions, but I'll start with a few.: 1) We usually fly Delta and I see that it serves Barcelona. Is there a better airport to fly into? Is May a good time? I was hoping it was before traditional holiday starts. If I visit two countries, do I fly in one and back out of the other, or is it better to have a round trip to a single airport? We got reasonably priced tickets by flying to JFK first. 2) What else is reasonable to see, if I can carve out 10 or so days? I'm not really so interested in the traditional tourist things...Eiffel Tower, Louvre...but more the smaller local historical sites and communities. 3) Safety issues I should know about? Aside from the independence thing (and the Olympics), I don't know much about Barcelona at all. I'm not afraid of big cities and spend lots of time in Atlanta, but there I do know where to avoid, same with SF. 4) And as always...I have Celiac...will this be impossible for me? I don't speak a word of Spanish. I'm also happy for links to great sites for first-timers to Europe, since so many of my questions are probably on a FAQ somewhere.

There is caramel coloring in cola, so I could see how that might affect a test. I'd stick to clear soda for the day. You do NOT want a false positive or to have to do it again!!

I was there less than a year ago. I'm so, so sorry :sad: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Laura, In those first weeks I almost had a nervous breakdown from the round-the-clock calls, but a nurse friend told me it takes about a year for it to feel like home. And she was right, after about a year, the worst of it is mostly grousing. It's been two years now and though there are still those days, overall they feel like a family there to him.

This is so true...they see your pain and turn themselves inside out to appear as though they are handling it. I know my posts seem negative on elder care, and I'm not trying to discourage anyone from doing it, but I think eyes need to be wide open. At the very least, one needs an objective, outside person to let you know when things are going south.

This...a million times...This! You tend to think that no one loves this person as you do, so no one can provide the care like you do. It's really hard to accept that someone could provide better care than you do.

Yes, think about your abilities and stand your ground. Some people are cut out for this and others are not. These caregiving relationships can creep into abusive relationships, even though the person with limited faculties isn't really at fault. I'll be vague, I can share more in PM when I have time, but the tendency (and everyone's expectations) is that you put their needs above yours. So they won't allow anyone else to care for them...you do it 24/7. They are a danger to themselves or afraid to be alone...you stop leaving the house and living your life. Their needs are unfulfillable, but you neglect your dh and children to try. Your kids are watching...mine watched through his entire high school career. He watched me become increasingly isolated and depressed. He watched my health fail. He took over as much as he could including much of his education, but it was never enough. My marriage, though not yet over, will likely never recover. The damage to my health and body will not fully heal. I'm in treatment for PTSD. Once I was completely broken, I did see the light. A good facility with well-rested, caring workers who only work 8 hour shifts has been so much better than home with an exhausted single caregiver who hasn't slept well in years. Please, do what you can, but keep a clear head about what is too much. Don't care for a elder by depriving your children of their mother or your husband of a wife. The increase in needs is an insidious creep.

That's backwards to me...I think of a prude as someone who is trying to shame me because my standards actually allow wearing bike pants to the grocery (particularly when I just got off the bike!) and breast-feeding my child in public. But I can see from the comments here that the word seems to be used a wide variety of ways. From either side it's not nice to shame people or try to make them feel bad because their standards and choices are different.

Yes! I would add...Looking down on others that don't hold to your high standards rather than realizing that on some things, "standards" are a result of our upbringing (family, religion, culture) and are not universal.

You might find some help on The Points Guy site, if you are interested in travel. He does get support from the cards, but his comparisons are fact based. https://thepointsguy.com/cards/ We like the Chase Sapphire Reserve. It seems crazy expensive at $450, but you get $300 cash back for your first $300 in travel each year. And the $150 is pretty easily offset by perks if you travel much.

Not personal experience, but that of others. I would first attempt to convince the parents that the best thing is to do a closed adoption to someone not related. If you raise the baby, they will be in and out of the child's life exacerbating the physical problems with emotional ones. Going to an emotionally stable family without that baggage will give the child a much better chance of overcoming the obstacles. (Not saying you couldn't do it, but you would have a better chance adopting a stranger's child, so you could provide stability.) Just the lawyer's fees every time the parents get clean and sue for custody can make it a nightmare. It's my personal opinion, but I don't think blood trumps the trauma that the situation will involve. But all of the adoptive parents I know treat their children the same as those who have birthed theirs, so blood doesn't seem important to me. I know it is an extremely hard and painful situation for you to think about and decide on. Hugs to you. :grouphug:

This is what you need!! The entire cinematic Marvel universe in chronological order: http://www.digitalspy.com/movies/feature/a825774/marvel-cinematic-universe-in-chronological-order/ This is SO on my bucket list! I'm very excited to see Black Panther. I love Thor and Guardians and am ready for another. They are also filming large portions of these here in Atlanta, with lots of local people involved, so that makes it more exciting to me. I saw Stan Lee at DragonCon and he talked about filming some cameos while he was here. But we rarely go opening weekend, it's just too crazy. Maybe I can get my guys to go Saturday.

And I'm so, so sorry that you are going through this :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I donate and don't judge, but I think people feel differently depending on how it is presented. I remember something like this...totally my wording from vague memory. Can't remember if the e-mail came from a relative or the person, but it was also posted on the YouCaring site. It wasn't just asking for money, but help of all kinds, and it was really only intended to go to those that asked if they could help, or to spread among friends and family. --------- Thank you for offering to help. Please know that your thoughts and prayers mean a great deal to us., but some people have asked what more they can do. I've tried to put together a list, if you feel called. 1. We have several trips a week to the hospital, gift cards for gas or the restaurants nearby are much appreciated. 2. The house is sad and George and I have a hard time being upbeat all the time. If it works for you and your kids, sometimes it would be nice for Sally to go along on activities to get that sense of normalcy. 3. Home-cooked meals are always appreciated, or picnic lunches for chemo days. 4. Our portion of the chemo is expensive and George has had to cut his hours, so if you feel called to donate you can use the links for PayPal or YouCaring below

You do realize that YOU are the one interrupting the important work of the feline in this scenario, right?