I wanted to post how we live, because it is so different from the obedience model, but Creekland has pretty much said it all. Ds had a co-op English class a few years back. I don't remember the book, but there was disobedience and punishment, and the discussion question was what happened last time you disobeyed your parents. Ds could not come up with an example, but he knows he is far from perfect. He's a good kid, so they joked that he has never disobeyed so couldn't relate. I had a simple answer when he got home, "I never tell you what to do, I ask." So there is no disobedience, since there are no orders. I think our little world is so foreign to most people, it's hard to explain. We all pitch in. If we see something needs doing, we do it. Sometimes one of us cares more about something, so takes over a specific task. I ask ds to do things just like I ask dh. "Not right now, I'm studying/working" or "When the show is over" is a perfectly valid response from either. If I care that much that it is done right that instant, I do it myself. Neither one of them has ever failed me in a crisis (injury, emergency, trash truck is on the way and the bins aren't on the street ;-), etc.), but I have never created false emergencies and overall they are rare. The panicked tone of my voice is plenty to get action with no prior training. Sometimes I think our family is more communist in structure: to each according to needs, from each according to abilities. Probably doesn't work for every family, but it's been good for us. ETA: Ds moved into the dorms two weeks ago. Because we don't have "jobs" or chore charts, I didn't realize quite how much he did here or how often I got his help. I'm having to seriously adjust in a practical sense to not having him here.

Did you search for the hotel online? Maybe you could check your browser history from around the time the reservation was made.

I think this needs to be emphasized, and if it is past thinking about it for your parents, think about it for yourselves (and thereby your children!) I've learned lots getting my Dad into assisted living. There are many multi-level retirement facilities available that have independent living, assisted living, memory care and or skilled nursing. You usually have to qualify for independent living by being "independent," but there are lots of resources available to you onsite...meals, transportation, activities, doctors/dentists that come to you, etc. You get either a nice apartment or villa that has everything you need on one level, high security, and easy access to people to help you. Really they can be pretty nice and an ideal balance between living on your own and "in" a facility. If you need more care later, you can move to the next level and still have your community. But here's the rub, by the time most of us get to the point of moving or moving our loved ones, it is too late and things are too far gone for independent living. There isn't a chance to build community ties as an active adult before you are dependent on people. Something else that I learned is that even if you wouldn't qualify for independent living as a new resident, if you get in, you can often stay there longer with help from home health visits and modifications, as health issues occur. My dad had to go direct into assisted living, but I really saw the advantages of moving into an independent living center early. From talking to people at different centers, those that see it as important (and actually do it) are usually childless and know they will have no one to care for them. As a parent of an only and one who has spend the last four years in the eldercare trenches, I am starting to think of it as one last gift to one's children.

Recordings (particularly of Humanties and Social Sciences) are great if you have a long commute. You can listen again on the ride home, or review the last lecture on the ride to class. Ds and I listened to some of his lectures going back and forth to dual enrollment (where the drive each way was about one lecture in length.) Even in a math class like statistics, you miss some of the concepts while you are trying to scribble down the equations, an auditory learner can catch more in a second listen.

I really like the looks of that, but so far ds has been able to take notes on his phone using AudioNote. Every prof is different, but even in classes with no electronic devices, he has asked and gotten permission to use his phone for notes.

We might come close to board unanimity on that one! Just want to say thanks to everyone on the discussion. This has been interesting as I have been able to digest small snippets on the phone during breaks.

You did the right thing. :grouphug:

It's hard, no way around it. Another book recommendation is The 36 Hour Day. Even if you aren't dealing with full dementia, it has lots on dealing with caring for elderly around the clock, and I think it would help one see the early signs of dementia for what they are. I wish I had read it as soon as I took over eldercare duties.

I was wondering why no one recommended Downtown Disney! I didn't know about a name change. Obviously it's been way too long since I've been there!

Have your ds invite her (through the Common App) to write an additional letter of recommendation. Some schools accept as many as five, so it's good to have them in the Common App. Once she has written and submitted it, he can attach it to any application he chooses. You, as the counselor, can submit multiple transcripts on the Common App. It may help to submit a PDF scan of the official transcript from the other high school with your counselor stuff. You can also have the school send it in paper form, but sometimes pieces get separated.

Disney World! I'm still trying to sell that. I've got a little over a year.

My son used this for an online Psychology college class: https://oli.cmu.edu/jcourse/webui/guest/join.do?section=psychology It was the best online textbook that I've seen with great incorporation of videos. With an account, the prof can see quizzes and all, but anyone can use the book as a guest.

I'm enjoying the resurrection of this thread. This is my favorite nerdy joke of the moment: I asked the librarian if she had a book on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said it rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

Yeah, my dogs do have allergies, so I don't want strange people giving them food. On the other hand, I don't leave my dogs out to bark at people, so they don't have time with others without me being there. OP, I guess you could tell the owner that they bark and ask if it's OK to toss them a Milk-Bone each day. If it seems more like you want permission to give them a treat and less like you are complaining, maybe it wouldn't cause confrontation?

I'd agree with the dog cookies or treats and learn the dogs' names and talk to them. It is really hard for some people to tell the difference between an aggressive bark or a friendly bark, particularly in big loud dogs with no tails. We have a barker here with an electric fence. It's a little thing so not much of a threat. Once I learned the dog's name, all I had to do was say "Hey, Bailey, how are you doing?" in a soft sweet voice when she barks at me. She settles down once she is acknowledged. Didn't seem to work much until I started using her name.

I think most Muslims are concerned with the opposite. Yes, they intend to follow the law of the land and just use religious mediation within their group. This is in no way wrong or against the law. However, with the anti-Islam sentiment rising in America and some people pushing a more Christian U.S. government, I would guess they are concerned that they will no longer be free to even practice their religion in private, even if it doesn't violate the law of the land. (Just trying to build a Mosque in the Bible Belt is quite challenging.) So I would think they are more concerned with the U.S. become a Christian theocracy, than with trying to make it a Muslim one.

There are many more people (at least here in America) that would like to replace our secular government with a Christian one. Considering the numbers (about 70% Christian and 2% Muslim), I don't think sharia is much of an issue here. Plus many, if not most, of both of those numbers would prefer to have a secular government and be free to practice their religion on their own (particularly since in all religions there are different denominations or sects, and there would be a serious question as to which one would be the law.)

Sharia law to me is just Muslim rules. It's analogous to Halakhah, Torah, or Rabbinic Law, or Canon law or I guess what Protestants call "Biblical law" (is there a word for it**). Leviticus is an good example of what would be sharia. They are the laws of the lands or tribes in the days when everything was ruled by religion. Most of them are historical, with some pretty horrible bits that are not acceptable in modern society and some really good bits like "though shall not kill" and "love thy neighbor". Most religious people only apply these laws to themselves or those in their religious house. They use them to govern marriages, confirmations, social issues, diets, etc. Most modern people leave out the awful bits and don't stone people in their congregation that commit adultery or murder their non-belief-sharing neighbors. Some people of all religions are extremisms and apply the awful bits to their own or everyone. Some governments have a bit of religious law in them. We have a bit of our analog to sharia law in our "In God we trust" and swearing on a Bible. Any time one quotes Biblical scripture as a justification of a law or government policy, they are asking for a bit of our sharia-law-analog. Some governments are a theocracy that only apply the good bits. I think some people in America would like this to be a Christian country. They are exactly like the people that would like a sharia law country (but only with the good bits.) Some governments are extremism theocracies, so not only are they ruled by religion, but they are ruled by the good and bad bits. And sometimes they make up extra bad bits just to punish groups that they don't like. I use the phrase "make up," but in their minds it is the "proper interpretation" of the word. I and many Americans would like to live in a secular country with secular laws, where people are free to practice their religious laws (sharia, biblical, rabbinic or whatever) as long as they do not violate the secular laws. **It struck me as interesting that here in American we have words for laws in other cultures, but I can't think of one in our own. What do Muslim or Jewish people call Christian laws?

There have been under-seat-animals on many flights that I have taken, but I've only noticed the carriers. I have never heard a peep from any of the animals on the flight. Mine are too big for carriers, but I would think if they would be in so much distress to cry the whole time, I'd either not take them or get some medicine from the vets to help them relax. I would guess most other people would do the same. I've seen lots of service dogs (for both visible and invisible disabilities) as we have training facilities nearby. You never hear them bark except sometimes as a single alert to their person.

Dh sent me this last night.. There have been so many discussions here on depression, either from those suffering or those helping the suffering, that I thought some might appreciate it like I did: http://www.robot-hugs.com/nest/ We all need this person in our life :-)

It's accommodated the same way other heath conditions are. If you have a service animal, you have to let the airline know ahead of time. If you have a wheelchair and need accommodations, you have to let the airline know ahead of time. If you have a nut allergy, you have to let the airline know ahead of time. (They will not serve nuts and make sure your seatmates didn't bring in nut foods. I've also seen them scrub the seats in a section.) If you have a life threatening allergy to pets, you need to call the airline and let them know to find a proper flight or seats for you. Allergies are disabilities just like the others. But it is not fair to get angry at the airline if you never told them you needed accommodation. I'm not sure about the actual service animal comment...they are not magically hypoallergenic. You would still need to be seated away from or on another plane from a service animal. That is why the airline needs to be informed of their and your presence.

Someone in my family is considering moving an elderly relative with mild dementia from a AL facility into their home. This someone is completely clueless as to how much work that will be ("But he's not happy there!") Think childless couple that has always been able to live life for themselves, come and go as they please, etc. I don't want to see this elderly person moved and then have to be moved again, so I would like to suggest some reading that would make the enormity of this undertaking clear. I've read part of The 36 Hour Day, which might be good. In this case, I don't want something Pollyanna-esque. I want something that expresses the harsh reality so that they can make an informed decision.

You guys will laugh at this. I started doing the crossword in pen when ds was a baby. He was one of those never sleep kids, and then only in the sling or next to me. Everything woke him up, even the scratch of pencil across newsprint. I switched to pen because it was quieter!

There is an online subscription to the NYT puzzles. We print them, but you can also do them online or on mobile. I already subscribe to the digital paper, so it's pretty cheap, but even at full price, it might not be much more than a couple of books. http://www.nytimes.com/subscriptions/games/lp897H9.html?campaignId=49W8Y ETA: You have to scroll down to see the price.

Dh always works the NYT crosswords, and sometimes we work the Sunday together. I don't usually do crosswords without him, but I do number puzzles. One of my favorite sources is Krazy Dad. Right now, my puzzle of choice is the Killer Sudoku, a combination of a Sudoku and a Kakuro. I've also liked the Hex Sudokus and the Krypto Kakuros.