We've talked many times about this issue and the possibility of having him switch sports. The issue is that what he is doing is the sport that he loves. It keeps him active and moving, necessary for his health issues...and she wants to give him as much of what he desires while he is healthy enough to enjoy it.

A friend has asked me to post to get a wide range of thoughts on this situation. My friend's child is very into sports. He is an athletic child. Or was. He has gotten very very sick. He went from leader of the pack to barely able to walk. He has been working really hard and made huge gains. It is hard to tell that he is as sick as he is or that not too long ago could barely walk. Until you have him run. He cannot run any more. He has worked hard but has lost range of motion and stamina. Everything has to be relearned from scratch. Reality sucks for the child and at any time he could go backwards again. This is also a life threatening condition. He wants to play sports. But. He is a December birthday. His sports are birth year divisions. He is a former preemie and is somewhat immature for his age. His focus for sports is on fun. He is competitive but not when he is in a team sports. His goal is to have fun. To him it is more of a sport themed party. Mom talked to one organization that said no matter the medical documentation provided, no matter the health issue, no matter what, he has to play in his own age group. This year that will make him one of the youngest players. The sport in question is cut throat even at the recreational level. The parents push hard and the kids are very competitive. They drive out the weaker players. The league does not require a copy of his birth certificate. It is a recreational league. He will not be a ringer. He will not even be among the best players. He will not be bottom of barrel either, but closer to the bottom than the top. The bottom of the barrel will be kids who start older and are just not coordinated who are just trying it out. Sadly, the sport is designed in such a way that most of these kids drop it after a year or in the worst case scenario, part way through the season. Mom has the idea of just putting his due date down as his birthdate. That would make in a January of the following year player. He would be among the oldest and the physical deficits would not as glaringly obvious. Socially it would be a better fit. He will not be a ringer, by any stretch. The goal is for the child to have a positive social experience in a team sport. Added information about the area where they live: The child is not severely enough affected that he will qualify for Paralympics. He does not qualify for Special Olympics. The child was involved in the local disability league but the league was not an appropriate place for him. Plus it was a 90 minute drive each way to get to the facility because it is on the far opposite end of the metro area where they live. Even if it was a good fit it would be hard on the family to make it to practices with the traffic. What do you think? Should mom accept the risks of lying to ensure that her child is able to have fun?

Hi! I'm twinelmmama, single mom to twin teenage sons and one adult son out on his own. We deal with some learning challenges - autism, myriad of processing disorders, all the "dys" diagnoses, global learning delays, intellectual deficits....yep, it's a nice mix to keep it interesting around here. I've always homeschooled the twins; oldest son came to us via foster care while in elementary school and we brought him home after one miserable year of middle school. We live rurally and are tippytoeing our way to greater self-sufficiency...love our rain barrels and grow some of our own food in the garden. Seems like when there is money to do more, there isn't time...and when there is time, there isn't money. So we do what we can, laugh as much as possible, and enjoy every day! I am a Bible-believer who loves the Lord with all my heart because He loved me first. He carries me through the hard days and gives me the joy to do that laughing and enjoying mentioned above when life stinks. I'm looking forward to growing as a mom and sharing what I've learned along the way. Thanks!

What about Special Olympics? It is nearly free in our area and a great social activity! If he is higher functioning than his teammates, he can work as a volunteer rather than being on the team. I'd check into a larger church's youth group OR suggest that your church's youth partner with another/few other small churches in the area for activities. Our church (youth group of 5 when all are present!) is getting ready to do that over the summer. I also voluntell my sons to work with the men in our church - help moving, help pouring concrete, putting in new water heater, fixing the car, cleaning the barn/shed/garage, etc. I personally feel like they get MUCH more wisdom and life-necessary social interaction by working alongside MEN than they do hanging with teens. They love it, typically get a $10-$20 for their work and free food, and it boosts their ego that they are accepted by the men as an equal. If you have a large food donation center near you, those organizations always need workers to sort and organize the food. It is a great way to serve and meet others.

My sons have similar diagnoses to what you listed. We attempted to utilize public school for speech and it was a humongous FAIL...in a large, suburban district that is "known" to be a great school district. It was terrible. Visit www.nathhan.org, go to the Resource Room and check out "The IEP Manual". It is an incredible resource for writing your own IEP. It is a little spendy - $67, but worth it if you feel like you need an IEP, but don't want to jump through the flaming hoops of government schools. I tried keeping an IEP for my sons and in recent years, have stopped. It is too much hassle. I am their mom and their teacher - I know where their weaknesses are and I know what I'm doing about it. I can give an answer to anyone who asks and that has been good enough most of the time. I second Queen Goddess of the Deep - tap into your local university! An amazing resource that many people don't even consider. IMHO, in 18 years of homeschooling, I've never seen any positive come from homeschooling families attempting to utilize government schools. It is a headache and a hassle with little benefit at the end. You are better served to put your energies into meeting your sons needs than fighting to get them to fail at meeting his needs in the long run.

Completely different perspective on the entire situation: Plansrme, why don't you befriend the family and begin helping them? Take them some meals, bring some hand-me-down clothes to them, find out if they need furniture/household goods replaced as a result of the alleged fire.....why does it have to be call in the government OR turn a blind eye? How about leaving the government out of it and being a neighbor and a friend? And...having been a foster parent who now assists my brother as he fosters through this broken government system, I can tell you this: The foster care system rarely helps struggling homes - it only damages already hurting families more. Do something for them that will IMPROVE their lives. Be their friend. Be a mentor and example to the parents. Be a hero the the children. Be an example.