The no SS card seems very suspect to me. Doesn’t the kid have to have a SS number to be claimed on the parents income taxes. If she has a number and the patent won’t give the card, it isn’t that hard to get a replacement card.

That sounds like a book I read once where the teen girl finds out she was kidnapped at birth. She wasn’t allowed to get a driver’s license because the person who raised her didn’t have a birth certificate for the girl. I don’t remember in the story if the girl had a phone, but she wasn’t allowed to get a real job or go to college because the “mother” who had kidnapped her was afraid of getting caught. That was a fictional story though. In real life that sounds like an abusive situation.

UPS - have to be 21 to drive a truck, but they will hire younger for warehouse and seasonal. Has a strong union. Can be hard to get in, but I was told that they tend to hire people for full time that have worked seasonal for a couple of years. Hours aren’t great, mandatory overtime during the holidays, limited flexibility in work hours - can’t get off early for kid’s events and stuff like that. But the pay is good and so are the benefits. Still has pensions which is pretty rare these days.

If your state has medical marijuana but not recreational, would she let you take her to the doctor to get a card/prescription?

Maseca is what is sold here. Homemade tortillas are a staple here, but everyone seems to make four tortillas not corn.

I am still dealing with the last of my mom’s hoard. I think I’ve got all the household items sorted. Now I have to deal with her salt shaker collection and some art that may actually be worth some money, but I think I found a consignment art place that may take it. When I get done with her stuff, I do need to start on our own stuff. I am determined not to leave the same kind of mess for my own kids to clean up.

I’m not looking for any specific items. I just like going out and watching everyone else, and maybe finding a few good deal. I take that back, I do look for holiday food items on clearance such as bags of candy and the themed boxed mixes from Walmart. We go through such a small amount of wrapping paper now that I don’t bother to stock up after Christmas.

I am wearing my Bucee’s Christmas t-shirt right now. It makes me happy. And, there is a new Bucee’s under construction in Amarillo which is just 4 hours from my house. I am very excited about it.

Does it help if you can plan a vacation even if it is far in the future? That keeps me going through difficult times sometimes even knowing that the details and dates may change. To help me get through my DS’s difficult teen years, I had a vacation planned 4 years in advance for the fall after he graduated high school. Unfortunately, Covid interfered but I did get to take that vacation the following summer.

I just want to say that my parents did not put up stocking for adults kids who had moved out, so I don’t think that not having a stocking has to mean anything other than that the person doesn’t live there anymore. I know that seems to be different from what most hive members do, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Also, everyone grieves differently, and Gardenmom has been grieving the loss of this relationship. Just because she isn’t doing it the way someone else might, that doesn’t mean she is wrong.

Going to be a quiet holiday here with just me, DH, and 2 adult kids. I’ve got some gluten free Chex mix the oven for DS. Later I’ll prep a couple of small breakfast casseroles to cook tomorrow morning. DH will smoke some ribs tomorrow, and the sides are all store bought except for the GF cheddar biscuits (Red Lobster brand from a box) will bake tomorrow. I always try to incorporate things that I know each person likes, but after years of holidays not being “right” for my mother, I gave myself permission to quit trying to please everyone all the time. DH has to work the 3:00-11pm shift (law enforcement) today, and I hope everything stays quiet so he gets to come home on time. His regular days off are Monday and Tuesday this week, but he has to cover on-call tomorrow night because of other people taking vacation time. Again, hoping that the county stays quiet, but after a full day of extended family and alcohol, Christmas night usually results in a domestic call or two. Also hoping that the snow up in the mountains doesn’t get too heavy, So he can avoid late night traffic accidents. At least last year when we got stranded at DisneyWorld (not the worse place to get stranded) during the Southwest Airline collapse, One bright spot was that he couldn’t get called out to work on Christmas.

We got some flurries this morning. Just enough to hide all the mud from the big storm we had about 1 1/2 weeks ago.

I talk to the 18 yr old. I’d tell him that the next time he brings alcohol to your house that you will call the police on him, and then do it. He may not realize or care that there are legal implications on him. If it ever happens again I would not allow him in your home, or at very not allow him around your kids without your direct supervision. I don’t know that it matters if his parents are included in the discussion unless they are the ones providing him the alcohol. My DS, who is now 21, has had many friends who are younger than him, and for a time several were under 18. He had I had many discussions about how he needed to be careful because of potential legal implications for him. This included discussions about providing alcohol or weed (which is legal 21+ here), driving while intoxicated especially with a minor in the car, crossing state lines with a minor, and intimate activity with a minor. I have always told him that his friends are welcome in our home at any time, but that no illegal activity is allowed.

It’s all relative. 71 and humid is much better than 98 and humid. Can you put a fan on your porch? Can you go walking after dark? That what we used to do in Houston. I can remember in the summertime the kids didn’t really start playing outside until around 8pm. Are there any parks nearby that offer tree cover? Camping can be fun, but you’d have to drive quite a ways to get to better (cooler) weather, even then my camping season in Texas was late October through April. I don’t know how he does it, but my DS never seemed to care about the heat or let it curtail his activities. He would come home with sweat pouring off of him and just shrug and say “It’s hot”. Honestly, I got tired of the weather, and that was one factor in our move away from the gulf coast, but we are planning to move back to the gulf coast in a few years after my DH retires.

If you want it warmed, you can cut the slices first then reheat the slices in the oven. That will be much quicker than heating the whole thing at once.

A few more thoughts Since the plan is to gift this over a three year period, that means your brother will have to put that money in savings and not use it for some other purpose during that time. have they thought about what they will do if brother doesn't use the money the way they think he should? Once they give it to him, he could freely decide to buy a car or take an extravagant vacation. If they give the money to him, will he be able to assist in providing financial support to your parents if and when it is needed? I didn’t see if you mentioned how old your parents are. There can be a huge variation in “retirement age” and how long their retirement funds need to last. My father died at 80yrs old. My great grandmother lived until 97.

I am currently playing a lot of Nonogram which is a logic based picture drawing game. It does have adds but not an annoying amount.

I don’t like them, but they are all over our town. They tend to hang around outside waiting for people to leave trash bags in the bed of trucks. They will rip open the bags to get to the garbage inside, and they also hang around the dumpsters waiting for people to drop stuff on the ground. I think they are icky, but very smart. Id be more concerned about all the other wildlife that will come around if food is on the porch - rats and mice, which then attract snakes, and bears.

I agree that you should stay home. No need to get other people sick for the holidays. I would say that it is fine for the rest to go without you. Where I live there are a couple nasty respiratory viruses going around that are not Covid, but after having them run through my house, I would not wish them on anyone else.

Two things - 1. That is a hefty amount that can have considerable tax implications to them both. 2. Medicaid has a 5 year look back period. If they (or just one of them) will potentially run out of money and need Medicaid, giving that much money away can cause along delay in qualifying for Medicaid. If you think you are going to have to be future financial support for your parents, I do think it is valid for you to speak up and let your opinions be know. You don’t have to support their bad decisions. It is not reasonable for them to give away such a large amount of money, and then expect you to pick up the pieces. Expenses for my two elderly parents both in skilled nursing level care was near $10,000 per month. If they have so much money that there is no chance of it running out before they die, then I would keep quiet.

Have you gone to a running store and been fitted? I live my Hokas and Brooks, but they are obviously athletic shoes. Oh, and I don’t do any running at all and probably never will, but the shoes saved me.

A talking watch Super large print playing cards If you want a higher priced item, I’d suggest a Victor Reader Stream or a Victor Reader Trek

iPhone is an Apple product. There are versions of iPhones that work on the Verizon next work. A iPhone SE is plenty for a teen. Yes, you will purchase a data plan to go with the monthly cell plan.

There is no way to manage this situation without pain for someone or several someone’s. It is going to be hard no matter what you do, soy You are just going to have to pick your hard. My kids did stop visiting the extended family much after they finished high school. Don’t think that is a terrible situation. I have posted many times that I started a new family tradition of going camping on Thanksgiving for the purpose of avoiding extended family holiday obligations, and I have intentionally avoided visiting my parents on Christmas Day for a long time. - just too many unrealistic expectations. There is nothing wrong with your kids visiting less often and/or for shorter periods of time. Split the drive up into 2 days. That way you can stay in a hotel a couple of hours away. Then spend only 1 night at grandmas house if you feel that you must. Then head home the next day or head to somewhere else. If you feel you need an excuse, you can always use the “I’m getting older and my eyes are getting worse. It is harder to drive so long in one day.” Plan things to do out of the house and share those plans in advance with everyone. If sister or grandma wants to bring the cousins in a separate car, that’s on them. Or plan things to do for your kids that aren’t for younger kids. For years, I would go get my hair done somewhere while visiting my parents. Go shopping for shoes, or what ever was needed. I even would go out to play Pokemon Go. Anything just to get out of the house for a while. I would even invite my mom to go do things I knew she would refuse to go do, but it got the rest of us out of the house and made the lack of participation her choice. As much as your mom and sibling “means well”, that is just making excuses for their poor behavior. It isn’t on you and your kids to entertain the rest of the family all day long, and I don’t think it is good to have your kids think that your extended family’s behavior is ok, but I am still coming off a bad situation, and I may be over-sensitive. Even if you don’t feel that you can confront the relatives, I would have a conversation with your kids and remove any unspoken obligations. It isn’t on you or them if grandma or the cousins get upset.

My MIL didn’t, but my mom sure did. My dad didn’t, he actually got nicer as he got older. The all had various forms of dementia. I think dementia takes a person to the base of their personality, and with no filters left you really see the true self that was always lurking underneath.