I feel so bad about what I have put my hubby through. Not abuse or whatever, but significant depression, C-PTSD, anxiety, mood swings, etc. I get so upset that he has had to cope with a marriage to such a broken person. I know he has suffered at times also. He has had his own moments. It sounds like your situation may be just opposite of ours. I do appreciate that we've had some good times, done some amazing things, and have an awesome hope for the future. I lean on those things when times are bad and I know he does also. We've made it through 100% of our tough days for 28 years. We got this. And so do y'all. To answer your original question? I've done hospitalization, intensive outpatient, therapy, medication. I think you do whatever it takes! No shame in any of it. It'll help. Both of you probably need to do individual things (the level of therapies each of you need) and possibly couple's therapy or groups. I know nothing about NAMI groups so I cannot comment on them.

I am estranged from my one parent and am mostly glad to be so. There is no way I would take that parent in. I can think of only one time I'd be okay having a real relationship with this person and it isn't in this world under the current system of things.

Thank you. I definitely don't think tofu is boring (soooo much to do with it!), but its always nice to have another recipe 🙂

I've not responded to one of these before (well, in my defense, I've been away from the boards a LONG time). Today isn't planned to be the most productive days. Mostly, we are looking at: basic morning chores breakfast pack lunch and snacks for the day FASD support group at a local botanical gardens Swimming this afternoon Simple supper Early to bed for Mom!

Thanks! Life has been, and continues to be, crazy.

Just here to give support and hugs. I saw your title and wondered.... just that I'm in a similar situation of deciding this same thing for one of my children. Its so hard when both school and home really aren't particularly GOOD options (never will either be ideal, I don't think; that's me as a homeschool mom of 24+ years now). Anyway, I wish you peace in whichever decision you make.

Thanks y'all for the welcome!

Yes, very, worldwide. Jehovah's Witness. Specific direction given at a various levels (worldwide, branch territories, regional areas, etc).

We homeschooled for sooooo many reasons. It started out that my oldest was a bit advanced. Then it was that my 2nd had some struggles. But quickly, we added spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, academic, and family reasons. It still was, primarily, my daughter's advanced academics that stood out though. I always put together our own curricula with numerous recommended (on this site) resources. One weird thing we did was to do each math with two different programs rather than just doing each once. My daughter started dual and concurrent enrollment as a young teen (she had done some college classes unofficially earlier though). The year she was going to graduate, she got an illness that held her back a year. She ended up graduating high school in 2009 at 16. She did college immediately, an IT major. She currently works for Apple. She is considering going back to school for accounting. She is 26. My second child struggled through schooling and I really wish we had been in the position to consider public school for him for high school. That wasn't the case though. We ended up using a correspondence program just so he could check off boxes and say he was done. 😕 He started community college for a trade at 17. He did well with it, but didn't stick with it. He had trouble keeping a job due to his struggles though he is a good worker; but he has worked fairly consistently. For the last 13 months, he has been working for a construction company and doing very well. He is considering what direction to go with it (job pays for education and training). He just turned 24.

Ok...I can't read 7 pages of messages. I scanned part of page 1 and 7. No curfews here. EVERYONE is responsible to be respectful. Respectful means letting people know when you'll be around and when you won't. :shrug: When the oldest two were teens, that meant calling/texting by 6:30 and then again "as necessary" (changing locations, people you're with, etc) letting us know what is up. They now have their own home and don't do that. Well, except the 24yo is here during the week so we do ask him to as I'm planning on him being here for supper unless I know otherwise. As for the worrying because he could be upside down in a ditch? Yeah, I get that. And that is why they should let us know what's up. "Hey mom, not gonna be home til closer to midnight." But it isn't their problem if that means we choose to stay up til midnight to make sure they got home. It might make more sense to set an alarm for midnight to make sure he made it home so you can sleep two hours in between. You *will* be able to learn to. I mean, you'd have to if he moved out, right? I mean, I was anxious when the kids moved out. I was even more anxious when my daughter ended up living alone 95% of the time. But I did learn to chill. It is a choice. You can do this. Its not wise to treat him like he is 15 when he is an adult. But it absolutely makes sense that he has to be respectful. Each household member lets each other know when they'll be home. And each is quiet when other family members are sleeping. If you can't do that, there is a problem. For an adult, that may mean needing to find other living arrangements. But it probably won't come down to that. Probably, he just needs to be more respectful and you have to let him grow up 🙂

Well, I know all about FASD. UGH Glad they are doing better in some ways. We have had some huge changes (not putting publicly); but it has resulted in HUGE changes and progress for my middle boys 🙂

Oh, I also say both zeh-bruh and zee-bruh 🙂

https://www.drmcdougall.com/pdf/dr-mcdougalls-cpb-english.pdf Entire program is available free at the website. He has a lot of YouTube videos also. You can also watch Forks Over Knives, follow on FB, etc. LOTS of success stories. This can be turned around pretty quickly and easily if he so chooses.

I can't vote! I say it both ways depending on the context! Lived in Texas almost all my life 🙂

Melissa, how are the twins doing? Scarlett, but I thought they were like 8 and 10? They grew up? Did you give them permission for that?!?!?!

It's not particularly old; but my hair isn't that long currently. I'll try to find a newer pic :)

I never hear about my Sweet Little Monkey. She went to fictive kin in NC. I hope she eventually settled and is doing well. Hopefully the other 50 kids that came through here are also :)

So I'm back :) One child started homeschooling in Sept Another started several weeks ago Another this week Another is too young but we're hoping she can homeschool throughout One child is still in school. This is best for everyone. I feel "real" again. I was a homeschooling mom (first two homeschooled all but 8 weeks ever, graduating in 2009 and 2012) and I am a homeschool mom (hopefully for the next 16ish years). Missed y'all.

I was looking at this just last week. My son turns 4 in July. I found calendar journal pages (mostly looking at ones with minimal writing). For example, I liked this one: http://glimmercat.blogspot.com/2017/09/ideas-for-your-morning-calendar-in-your.html (scroll down because she does the wall thing too). Anyway, I love the idea of a big wall, but I really am past having my whole decor be about homeschooling (right or wrong). ETA: I looked up the Confessions of a Homeschooler and like that one also (though it has much more writing).

I heard Laurel and so did my 10yo. My hubby, 12, 11, and 3 year olds all hear "Yarry" which seems to be a common third thing to hear. Also, the Laurel just sounds like a low computer man's voice; but my hubby make it sound like Yarry sounds creepy.

Well, some of mine have FASD. Generally, the rule with that is to subtract 4-5 years. Pretty sure one of mine needs more than that subtracted. But one doesn't need even half of that subtracted. Different degrees of the issue as well as just being different kids. Generally, ideally, I think, we need to treat our kids as individuals and meet them where they are. That is *much* easier said than done at times.

Hopefully this is one of the missing two and the last child is found soon. Hopefully they can all be laid to rest. I didn't read y'all's thread on the incident (haven't been very active on the WTM boards in awhile); but I'm terribly saddened that these children were so failed by so many adults who could have made a difference in their lives.

My daughter had some "old blood" at six. I took her to the doctor immediately. She did have some very early signs of puberty; but she was definitely not about to start her period. The doctor thought we'd have 1 & 1/2 years but possibly with some break-through sometimes. Thankfully, she waited until the month before she turned 10. So we were prepared for it a long time before it actually happened. And yes, just like you were sad inside that this could be it, we definitely were happy that it waited. I think it is perfectly fine to have an opinion about whether it is good or bad as long as you don't make a deal out of it to her. She will develop her own opinion.

13 years AND 110 pounds (though I could see changing the weight requirement since some of my kids might not make that full grown). These are the same requirements I had for my oldest kids who turned 13 over a decade ago. I haven't seen any different standards to make me reconsider. Since 50% of 10yos should be in a carseat still, I have no problem with pushing back moving to the front seat. Drives me batty to see elementary kids in the front seat of the car when they should still be in boosters (at least! Many times the younger ones should still be in 5 points!). Parents would never forgive themselves for a severe injury or death they could have prevented. Sometimes, maybe it is necessary to bend guidelines, but not usually. Why chance it? As mentioned, we might change the weight requirement at some point. We also let them out of booster seats in middle school. I can be reasonable. But most 8yos belong in booster seats in the backseat (period, imo). I don't share my opinion unless asked though. ?

Congrats!!! I had the sleeve done in April 2014. Due to complications, I converted to the bypass Dec 20, 2017. I've had a number of issues with mine (wish I had stuck with the complications of the sleeve, sadly). Glad yours is going better. You'll definitely see differences in time; but you'll probably always see less difference than other people will.