That's a quote in itself! I love it!

From Dallas County (Texas) Health and Human Service yesterday: 58% of residents over the age of twelve have had at least one dose. 43% are fully vaccinated. We really don't go out much. We mask at church, and mostly do that outdoors, anyway. I subsitute taught this past year and may take a full-time position this coming year. The school district will encourage, but not require masks. I'm not crazy about our low numbers, but I try to do what I can to protect my family and let the rest go.

"If you truly wish your child to study Torah, study it yourself in their presence. They will follow your example. Otherwise they will not themselves study Torah, but will simply instruct their children to do so." Rabbi Menahem Mendel of Kotsk

Please don't quote. A dad from our homeschool co-op is very ill right now. He was sick at home and went via ambulance to the hospital. This was in late June. His Covid journey has been eerily similar to so many others I've read about. One day he seemed better. The next day he was about to crash and they let his family in to say goodbye. Today he rallied, but now his O2 levels are in the 80s again. He's sedated and still on a ventilator. His wife, who is truly a lovely woman, asks on FB for prayer. She shares his ups and downs. I feel for her -- it is just horrible and so sad. I strongly suspect this man was not immunized. It's just a guess. If he had taken the vaccine, what are the odds that he would be this ill? Wouldn't his wife be complaining that he had been vaccinated and shouldn't be so sick? But instead of urging the many who are following their story and praying for her husband and family to be vaccinated, she is now saying his current condition isn't even Covid related. His troubles are a result of the treatments. He doesn't even have Covid anymore. I don't really have a point here. I just don't understand people anymore. Of course, I would never argue with her. It would be too unkind. Besides, where would I even start?

I think, early on, that the big health insurance companies were waiving cost-sharing for Covid treatment (or what I would call co-pays). This was interesting: https://www.wbtv.com/2021/05/03/good-question-does-your-insurance-cover-hospital-bills-long-covid-hospitalization-stays/ Research by FAIR Health has found the average cost for a hospital stay for COVID ranges from $51,000 to $78,000. As for who pays, it really depends. In a study released in November, it found that 88 percent of people with insurance had policies that waived payments during the pandemic. But, nothing lasts forever. All of these hospital and treatment waivers were voluntary so insurance companies can lift those whenever they choose. That’s what some of them are doing now. For example, Anthem stopped its waivers in January. Aetna’s expired in February. United Health stopped at the end of March. So it really comes down to who your provider is. ADVER

Decongestant pill or nasal spray can help if there's pressure. Prescription level dose of ibuprofen for pain (800 mg for an adult -- ask a pharmacist for advice on this).

I agree. Dying peacefully in one's sleep is the "good death" most people say they want. I'm sorry this is happening.

Ftr, I'm not 100% in favor of all Dr. Emanuel wrote in his essay - I'm much too conservative to agree with an Emanuel on most things, lol. I shared it as an alternative to the idea of assisted suicide (which I believe is morally wrong)... as food for thought. His words upset a lot of folks (still are, evidently!) and came back to haunt him when President Biden tapped him to serve on the WH Covid Task Force. Though I don't agree with all he said, I wasn't offended because he was writing about his own observations and plans, and I found it to be an interesting perspective. In my experience with my parents, mil, and two uncles, people who wish to continue with all manner of medical treatment up until they draw that final breath will have little trouble finding someone to give them what they want (in urban areas, anyway). And that is as it should be.

Nope. I said earlier that I would chafe at such requirements in my private home. I do think they're not very pretty, but even if I added them to my downstairs bathroom, my house still wouldn't be very handicap accessible.

Absolutely, but we were talking about requiring them in building codes for all private homes. To me that's too much intrusion into my life and my home. If we need them, or if my parents need them, we'll install them.

Darn, I felt so validated.

Prolonging ones misery doesn't require crazy or heroic procedures. Inserting a pacemaker, a relatively simple, life-saving procedure, can add years to your life. Dh's aunt, who is 95, lives in assisted living, and has cognitive issues, had one inserted a year or so ago. It should keep her heart going for another decade, unless she dies of another cause. Unfortunately, she is likely to slide into further dementia and spend at least some of those years in a locked memory care unit. She is valued. She is loved. Her family probably thought they were doing the right thing in supporting this treatment, but I suspect they'll regret it later on. Hopefully, I'm wrong. Aggressive treatment of pneumonia will often keep a very old person alive, though his life afterward may require significant nursing and supervision.

I'm sorry his article upset you and Murphy. I did mention that the title was a bit dramatic. I saw it as a dose of reality. This doctor writes of decision, for his own life, to forgo medical tests and procedures beginning in his mid-70s in hopes that he won't live out his days in "the dwindles".

I'm an "older" mom, too. When I'm 75, my older child will be 40, and my younger child 37. Did you read the article? He didn't really say he wanted to die precisely at age 75, only that he planned to stop trying to extend his life around that time. I didn't see his views as being disgusting. "Let me be clear about my wish. I’m neither asking for more time than is likely nor foreshortening my life. Today I am, as far as my physician and I know, very healthy, with no chronic illness. I just climbed Kilimanjaro with two of my nephews. So I am not talking about bargaining with God to live to 75 because I have a terminal illness. Nor am I talking about waking up one morning 18 years from now and ending my life through euthanasia or suicide. Since the 1990s, I have actively opposed legalizing euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide. People who want to die in one of these ways tend to suffer not from unremitting pain but from depression, hopelessness, and fear of losing their dignity and control. The people they leave behind inevitably feel they have somehow failed. The answer to these symptoms is not ending a life but getting help. I have long argued that we should focus on giving all terminally ill people a good, compassionate death—not euthanasia or assisted suicide for a tiny minority." His point is, though we are loathe to admit it, people in the US are on-average, living longer but more debilitated lives. One could argue that your dh's grandmother, who you think could possibly live to be 100 in relatively good health, is probably cognitively debilitated. She isn't able, for whavever reason, to see the good sense in allowing her child to help her. Maybe she was always difficult, but it's likely she is worsening, and current choices aren't a result of vibrant, healthy old age. It sounds to me like all the care and social integration in the world wouldn't change her situation one little bit. Many, many elders are just like her - their utter refusal to allow their children/families to move them is extremely common. When bad things happen to these stubborn elders, their children are often left with a deep sense of guilt. @Laura Corin, I'm sorry I've totally hijacked your thread! 🙂

I hate grab bars. I do think they're ugly. I have no problem with widing doors and zero-depth shower entries (if that's that right term). Again, it's usually a non-issue for those of us who've purchased existing homes that were built years ago.

Alternatively, what about deciding to stop pursuing preventative and curative medical treatment? It's not a guarantee of an earlier, less prolonged death, but it might go a long way toward ending the dwindles. (Easy for me to talk about now...) The title of this article, by the way, is a little dramatic. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/10/why-i-hope-to-die-at-75/379329/

Or they don't want to mess with it, or they won't face the fact that if they grow old and remain at home, they might need a more accessible living space. I chafe at the idea that I would be required to build handicap accessible bathrooms in my house if I don't want them. (Where I live, building codes like that only affect new builds.)

Yes, after income and assets are spent down. There are rules about how this works. If a couple owns a house, for instance, a surviving spouse can remain in that house until he/she must move to a nursing home (or until death). A lien would be placed on the house until the debt to Medicaid is satisfied. These rules are in place because some elders (and their heirs) prefer that the government pay nursing home expenses so that their money and property can be passed to those heirs. People can hire an elder law specialist to help them plan how to pay for assisted living and nursing home care, or they can plan on their own -- abundant information is available online. Unfortunately, many people don't want to plan, likely for the same reason many don't purchase life insurance or make wills. It can be daunting, but it's not impossible. By the way, Medicare (the US' health insurance for citizens 65 and older), will pay for the first 100 days of nursing home care following a three-day hospitalization.

These are all good ideas, and I'm not suggesting we just throw up our hands about unsafe driving. It's just difficult. I played FBI and followed my mom around as she drove. She didn't seem particularly unsafe, but she did get lost - she's lived in this city since 1958. Though she was resistant to the idea of giving up driving herself around, we suggested (again and again) that she make use of the transportation services included in the rent at her senior living apartment. "Just for practice." We also got her signed up to use Go Go Grandparent, a ride concierge service that helps seniors get an Uber or Lyft using their mobile or landline. Covid ended that, and she hasn't really needed to go too many places. Her apartment takes a busload of whomever wants to go to TJ's, Target, etc., and they drive her and a few others to church on Sundays now that they're back in person.

I know what you mean. It may really be that your aunt has a UTI or something that can be cleared up so that she'll become clearer again.

(I haven't read all of the replies...) Just jumping in to add my experience. When people talk about not letting your aunt drive anymore, about taking her to a doctor to be evaluated for dementia (or anything, really), about having her sign off on you being her POA, etc., be prepared for pushback. She doesn't have to allow you to do anything, and she may not be swayed by your views. The bar for taking over another adult's life is set pretty high -- for good reason. It took my siblings and me over a year to convince my mother that she needed to give up driving. In the end, we were able to clinch the deal by getting one of the grandkids to offer to buy her car from her. She has mild cognitive deficits that worsen when she is very tired or when she forgets to take her medication (blood pressure meds seem to be the significant factor there), but she refuses to allow someone bring medication to her. Her senior living apartment staff has on-site home health, so it would be easy and pretty affordable. Time and patience -- talking about issues again and again has been the most helpful technique. It takes time to adjust to a new (and for old people, scary) reality. It all just seems so clear to us: You are a menace on the road. You will kill someone. It's time you stopped driving. I'm taking the keys. You can't live alone. You might hurt yourself and no one will know you need help. If you have early stage memory loss, there are medications available that may slow down that loss. Yikes! We may mean well, but that doesn't make it easier for someone who is already a little confused and for whom everything is moving too fast.

This. Dallas College (our large community college system) is already back in person, though they still offer lots of online options. As I understand it, any school (or entity of any kind) that receives state funding can't require Covid vaccines. That may change when they are fully FDA approved. If A&M planned to remain all or mostly online, I doubt ds would be willing to return. Last year was miserable.

Thank you so much for sharing this!

I'm so sorry! How stressful. 😑

https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/explainer-bill-cosbys-conviction-overturned-78590160 From the article... WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE NONPROSECUTION AGREEMENT? The promise not to prosecute Cosby was made in 2005 by Bruce Castor, who was then the top prosecutor for Montgomery County. Castor was also on the legal team that defended former President Donald Trump during his historic second impeachment trial over the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol by his supporters. During a court hearing weeks after Cosby's 2015 arrest, Castor testified that he promised Cosby he wouldn't be prosecuted in the hopes that it would persuade the actor to testify in a civil case brought by Constand and allow her to win damages. Castor acknowledged the only place the matter was put in writing was in the 2005 press release announcing his decision not to prosecute, but said his decision was meant to shield Cosby from prosecution “for all time.” His successor noted, during the appeal arguments, that Castor went on to say in the press release that he could revisit the decision in the future. Castor had said that Constand’s case would be difficult to prove in court because she waited a year to come forward and stayed in contact with Cosby. Castor's successor, District Attorney Kevin Steele, charged Cosby in 2015 after a federal judge, acting on a request from The Associated Press, unsealed documents from her 2005 lawsuit against Cosby, revealing his damaging testimony about sexual encounters with Constand and others. Castor has said Cosby “would’ve had to have been nuts to say those things if there was any chance he could’ve been prosecuted."