I'm so sorry. What a difficult situation. Since you said the older relative is sick perhaps a frank discussion on appointing a durable power of attorney could be helpful? Perhaps not even mentioning the adult child, but say you (or another responsible family member) want to make sure bills get paid and you are privy to health care decisions should that become necessary. However, if the elderly individual will not agree to something like this I don't think much can be done unless there is visible physical/emotional/mental abuse. I would begin a log of all contact. Is the home in good order when you visit (clean, neat)? Is the elderly individual clean, neat, appear well-fed? What about the bedroom? Is it clean and neat? Is there evidence of soiled garments or linens? Are there any visible bruises on the senior? Does the elderly relative appear nervous or watch what she says when the adult child is around? Does the adult child hover around when you visit or can you have a private visit without interference? Are meds being taken/refilled and are doctor appointments being kept? These are some things to look for and document. If you see things deteriorate you can call social services and make a report. PS please let me know if you need me to delete this.

I bought a Kindle with the plan of replacing my books with a digital version. Don't quite work out as planned. Many of the great classics my library chose to discard found their way to my home. Yes, I too need a 12-step program for a book addiction.

Catching the friend and girlfriend necking in the bedroom gives you the opportunity to lay down some rules. This behavior is disrespectful to you and I would not hesitate to say that to your son as well as his friends. Should you decide to let these kids use your home as a teen hang out they must be in a common area where they may be supervised by you; not in a bedroom. Family/living room only and you must be in the area. They are taking advantage of you. Don't let them. You can smile and be pleasant but be direct. "I'm glad you all like to come over, but from now on we need some rules," etc. Do they eat your food? Do they offer to help around the house (basic clean-up, etc.)? If not, let them know you expect respect and if they can't give you that they are not welcome. Consider telling your son and these young people they are welcome to bring some reading and school homework and can work together in community on that from 3-4:30 or 5 (or whatever reasonable time works for you) and then when it is time for you to eat dinner they have to pack up and leave. They could also play board games if there is little/no homework. Be in eye/ear shot at all times. I'm glad to hear he is seeing someone and agree there might be depression, etc. Moving might help but it may not address the underlying issues. Talking to your son about your need for him to treat you with respect, possibly with the help of the therapist or a trusted church leader, may be a good place to start.

Aw, I'm sorry. I don't have a lot of advice, but I understand how it feels when things dont go as planned. Having a son with autism has taught me to let go of best laid plans, but sometimes it hurts. One thing I thought of as I read your post is the possibility of you decorating your own room or personal space in your home if you feel that would brighten things for you. That way you leave open the opportunity of still doing the "big" decorating together if/when the opportunity presents itself. I think going ahead with baking is a good thing. Do it for you and, again, make it known you are happy to share baking time with anyone who wants to participate now or in the near future. Maybe beginning the task, along with some festive music, will get things going in the right direction.

I briefly worked with a family who was fostering a 5 year old at the therapeutic day school I worked at. The girl had been taken from her home because it was suspected that she was being sexually abused. The foster mother had this child and her bio child share a bedroom. She opened the door during nap time to find the foster girl sexually abusing her bio daughter. The foster mom had been given very little info on the girl's situation, had not been warned about possible sexual abuse (this girl acted out sexually on the school bus and at school, trying to touch other students in appropriately). She called CPS and handed her back. I think, in many cases, CPS deliberately withholds info that could be helpful to foster parents in an effort to place children. These issues often do not "go away" just because the foster child is now in a stable, safe environment. Very sad for everyone.

I thought it was a cute idea, but when I asked the kids (mine are older but still at home) about it they objected, saying they thought it was creepy. Go figure. Oh well, less work for me!

We went hiking in a local forest preserve yesterday with some friends. The weather has been beautiful here!

I was thinking of ET since the climax of the movie occurs around Halloween.

Yes, we do. It is always the Sunday before Halloween from 2-4pm if it lands on a weekday. If it lands on a Saturday, like today, it is from 2-4. If had been on the Sunday, we would have had it tomorrow. I like the designated time and not having children running around, crossing streets in the dark.

Maybe call and tell them you'd like to apply that coupon now on your delayed computer or you will be taking your future business elsewhere . . . and posting your displeasure on social media for all to see? Wouldn't it be better for them to have you post something positive instead? Just a thought.

Something to suggest - Since he is resistant to taking meds I wonder if he would look at more natural/alternative treatments such as diet and even acupuncture. Years ago I received treatments for sinus problems from a medical doctor who specialized in nutrition and acupuncture and other eastern methods. I felt more comfortable giving this a try because the doctor was also an MD. There are alternatives out there. Just a thought.

Sympathy for you here. I have never been able to read in a car, only on a bus or the el train/subway. Maps are the worst!

My first inclination is to say Bipolar, but I'm not sure if that is correct if he has never had a major depressive episode. But the impulsivity, recklessness, and lack of sleep made me think of that. Perhaps severe ADHD? When my son was born up to almost age 3 he would. not. sleep. I told my husband either he needed to be medicated or I was going to need to be. We began giving my son melatonin and he also began some prescription medication after he was diagnosed. I wonder how these poor parents have survived so many years with their son's sleep issues. I hope they can help him.

But if the Cubs lose tonight it is proof we are living in an alternate universe.

My children are older now, but some of the things we have done when they were younger (and continue to do): Pack boxes for Operation Christmas Child Pack food at Feed My Starving Children Collect and donate food for the local food pantry Collect toiletries and travel size items for kits for the homeless shelter Visit shut ins and sing Christmas carols

So sorry. My inclination based on your first and then other post further down would be to terminate overnight visits altogether. That sounds harsh but it appears to me there is an agenda here on the part of the grandparents. I agree with other posters to suggest educational trips, nature walks, hands on science activities, etc. I think you and your dh need to have a conversation and set firm boundaries, but I am concerned about the boundaries being respected given the description of your in-laws you provided.

I am so sorry. I want to gently share this realization which came to me regarding my oldest daughter. I had to let go of the dream I had of how I wanted our homeschool to be/look like and what type of student I wanted my dd to be. It was hard and sad for me but things improved when I let that go. I also found that, for my dd, the "school of hard knocks" is a very good teacher. Hugs.

I was previously married, went back to my maiden name after my divorce and was reluctant to take my now husband's last name. I use both when I sign papers, etc.

Sorry, just read through all the responses. Also, is he being paid for the server job you mentioned? If so I'd tell him you are done paying for things such as the costume and dance in the future. You might be willing to renegotiate that as a reward for work done but perhaps not. What does your dh have to say? Perhaps your son looks at the fact that your dh is successful (I think you said your dh dropped out?) and figures he can follow the same path? ETA to say that I guess I would be inclined to let him continue to focus on his success in the computing classes. If he is working and earning money perhaps he should help pay for the classes or at least pay for the fun things he wants. Or pay something for room and board . . .

I am so sorry. My oldest daughter was the same way. I would like to share my experience with you. When she was 16 I finally told her she could finish school with me, finish school at the local high school, drop out and get a job or look at taking a class at the local community college. She decided to try the community college. She wanted to take a mythology class but had to take English Comp 101 first. She loves to write and does well in that subject. She took the class in the summer. It was challenging for her and she worked very hard but did well. Later she asked me if I knew it would be challenging. I told her I hoped it would be since that might be a bit of a wake up call. Before I registered her I warned her that if she deliberately failed the class by not doing the work I would take the tuition money from her savings account, which I was on as a payback. Her father and I were willing to pay as long as she applied herself. After the summer class she registered for the mythology class which she loved. She began taking classes at the community college to finish out her credits. She is still struggling to figure out what she should major in, but she has had great success at the community college. She is involved in a club, has acted in one of their plays, has been recognized in the creative writing contest which includes students from other regional community colleges, has been invited to join a group due to her high GPA and has done well academically. It has been one of the best decisions we have ever made. She later told me she wanted me to be her mom, not her teacher. I get that. I am just glad we are making progress. Since your son is interested in a computer-related field I wonder if he could begin to take classes for a degree or a related certificate in that field. It might be the the jump-start needed. Just a thought.

I locked my van keys in the van by accident while Evelyn was buckled in her car seat inside the van. It was winter and she was young. I either did not have a cell phone or that was locked in the van, too. I ran into the grocery store and the staff called the police who came and used a tool to unlock the door for free. My son who has autism wandered off from a friends back yard. I was distracted and thought he was playing in the sandbox under the raised deck. He wandered over to a nearby thrift store and someone in the parking lot realized there was a problem when he/she tried to talk to my son. That kind person held onto my son and called the police who picked him up. By that time I was on the phone to 911 and the policeman brought my son back to me. I am forever grateful to that person who hung onto my son and made that phone call. When my youngest was a newborn I forgot to buckle the car seat down. She was buckled in the seat but the seat itself was not buckled in. That was definitely lack-of-sleep fog. Evelyn noticed and alerted me. It is easy to make a mistake when distracted, out of routine or sleep deprived.

I'm an introverted only child in a family of talkative people. Even my son with autism is very talkative - lots of scripting and nonsensical chatter, but talking nonetheless. I always wanted a bigger family than the one I grew up in. I said I would never complain if my son began to talk. Be careful what you wish for.

House divided here! Hubby grew up in Green Bay and I grew up in Chicagoland. The rivalry is friendly - I feel I will be a winner either way.

Thank goodness they did not kill him. I hope these criminals are caught and punished.

I was 16 when I went to London. We went to the Tower and Madam Tussaud's and saw the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.