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ajfries

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Everything posted by ajfries

  1. Bio dad & I have exchanged 2 emails. Meanwhile, he & my mom have been spending a considerable amount of time talking to each other on the phone. This makes me incredibly uneasy. I was the one who sought him out & I feel like she's...well, she's playing both sides. I feel very strongly that he should get to know me by means of ME and I should get to know him the same way. She could have found him at any point in the last 30 years and she didn't. And now that I'm interested she...I don't know if she feels threatened or if she feels like she can gain something from him...anyway. He sent her $1,000 check (and he sent one to her for me, too, for a higher amount). She just had to get her car fixed & I'm sure she'll take the money but I can't. I understand that he probably feels like it's the least he can do; like it's all he has to offer me but I just don't feel like our relationship is at that point & I think he & mom are talking enough that he does feel like he can do this. I'm figuring out a way to graciously decline, while making it clear that I'm not rejecting him (or his kindness). I'm also trying to figure out how to ask the two of them to cool it and let me make the choice of how much information about myself to share with him. I can't control the flow of information that he's getting from her. I don't know...I really wish I hadn't told my mom that I found him.
  2. Well, as insane as it is, fellow board member NotSoObvious found him. He lives within her geographical area and showed up straightaway on a search. My mom sent him a friend request and he responded. They've just gotten off the phone; he has no other children and has tried finding my mom in the past but couldn't because her last name is was...well, 2 names ago. He says he called my grandma years ago and she told him that my mom had a son and not to ever call back. Knowing my grandma it is possible. Or my mom could have made that up and he may not have even said that. He's desperate to meet me and is incredibly emotional about the whole thing. I'm in shock and I'm...cautious. I was anticipating that it could take years...not hours. Seriously, it has been less than 24 hours since I posted here.
  3. I have to admit, I am most excited (though I wouldn't really say I'm excited per se) about the possibility of half siblings. I was raised with my half sister and she and I are polar opposites in every way. Looking at our family I was always the Puerto Rican amongst a bunch of redheads. :lol:
  4. I just sent you a PM :) Thank you for your offer. My mom knows his approximate DOB, within a month. :)
  5. Lolly, I appreciate that you shared your experience from the 'other' side. It's very insightful. I've just posted to a private FB group of voluntary "finders". I hope that he's fairly easy to track down given that I know where & when he was stationed in Germany. This is so weird.
  6. Thank you for the encouragement and tips everyone. :) I really appreciate it.
  7. That's kind of where I'm at, too. I'm happy with my life; never felt like anything was "missing". I have a great dad. I do wonder though that if he wanted to find me...I don't think he has enough information to do so. I would hate to find out that he'd been looking for me for years and then died or something. But at this point it's more curiosity. There's definitely no yearning. I'm not afraid of being rejected and I certainly don't need anything from him. Thanks for your post :)
  8. I do have his name, but it's basically the Hispanic equivalent of John Smith :) I have some basic information about him (where he went to college & grew up), but nothing like his birth date or parents' names.
  9. I've been toying with the idea of looking for my biological father for the last couple of years. He & my mom met when they were in the army; stationed in Germany. She got pregnant with me and came home to the states while he stayed in Germany. According to my mom, they had one or two phone calls after she arrived stateside but they've never spoken since. There's a few more complicating factors but for the sake of privacy (and brevity) I'll leave it at that. I've found a few organizations that help adoptees find their biological parents but I'm not sure if I should go that route because it isn't really the situation I'm in. I was adopted, but not in the traditional sense. My mom met a very nice fella who adopted me & raised me as his own. Has anyone ever done this? Or known someone who has? Any words of advice or recommendations?
  10. I just started doing gel nails myself at home (using a kit from Walmart) and I LOVE THEM. They last 2-3 weeks (and I'm HARD on my nails) and give them some extra strength. It only took 30 minutes to do them the first time & they are DRY as soon as they come out of the lamp. My nails seem a little rough for a day or so after I soak the polish off but they haven't weakened my nails (that I can tell at least). In fact, I'm able to grow them longer because the gel does give them extra stability.
  11. Let's see...Stuff You Should Know is really good. I also like Reply All, LOVED season 1 of Serial (and am enjoying the 2nd season); Undisclosed goes even deeper. Startup is good, too. I've liked all the Moth episodes I've listened, too.
  12. I started a new bullet journal for 2016. This year I picked a magenta softcover moleskine. Last year I hated having to draw out the grid calendar every month (listing the dates just does not work for me) but I bucked down & drew out all 12 months in the front of my journal so that's finished for the whole year! I need to migrate a couple pages over, but I'm up and running!
  13. Another idea for those of us who plan on shooting with our DSLR is to use our phone take a picture of the LCD screen of the pic of the day. Obviously the quality will leave something to be desired :) but it's a workaround until we get around to getting our pics off the memory card.
  14. It is such a hassle for me to get pics from my DSLR to the web! I hate it. In the past I've gotten my pics from my camera to the desktop then UPLOADED them to Flickr and then DOWNLOADED them to my phone and then put them on IG. There's no way that's going to be feasible on a regular basis. Maybe monthly at most.
  15. DANIELLE. GO. TAKE. A. PICTURE. <----- yelled with love, obviously. Grab your phone or traipse yourself out to your car. Done is better than perfect. :grouphug:
  16. We did a family self portrait for my first picture. Got out the tripod, let all the kids have a turn with the remote and got a couple good shots. I was so glad that everyone was happy to do it. :)
  17. Oops! I missed this thread & bumped up the other one :) I'll be looking for picture opportunities today. I have a feeling it will be of my shoes or something. Has anyone found a list of ideas for when the inspiration runs low?
  18. Ok ladies!! It's January 1st! Don't forget to take your pic of the day! I crawled into bed with DD this morning (we're both early risers) and we were having the sweetest chat. It would've been a good time for a selfie but I didn't want to ruin the moment by going to get my phone so I let it pass :) I'll be on the lookout for something else to shoot.
  19. Yep, you can keep a book going for a year...I have projects from when my oldest was a baby that are still on there. And the projects are saved to Shutterfly itself, but I don't know if you can save it beyond that. After my initial whine :) I got to thinking about all the pictures my mom has of our family when I was growing up and although the quality isn't great, I still treasure them and I'm glad she took them. So, in that vein, I'm going to do it! I will likely switch back and forth between my cell phone and my DSLR, depending on the day. I'm extra excited because my little sister moved about 6 hours away last year and she's going to do it too. I'm hoping we'll text each other our pictures regularly and that will make it feel like she's not quite so far away.
  20. I've been toying with the idea of doing this...I just wish my phone had a better camera on it. DH has the iphone 6 and that thing takes really good pictures. The ones my samsung takes are terrible. I could do it with my DSLR but I worry that it won't get done if I can't just upload on the go.
  21. I haaaaaaated RS A. I dreaded math every single day and found myself skipping it. Couldn't finish it. It was like the curriculum had ADD. But Level B is SO much better. Skip A & go straight to B. If/when concepts get too advanced for the kiddos, spend a week or so playing the card games and just letting the concepts percolate.
  22. Why on earth does he have pictures of your friend?? That seems so weird to me...is he stalking her or something?? ETA: Everyone else has said what I would say so at this point I don't have anything else to add :)
  23. Too many moving parts. I'd really like a grab & go, get 'er done curriculum for now.
  24. We're currently working through CLE LA 2 and it does have spelling included, but I think I'd like to check out some stand alone workbooks for spelling. I'd strongly prefer something that explicitly teaches spelling rules. The kids have learned to read using LOE Foundations which teaches "ay" and "ai" (for example) as separate phonograms. If possible, I'd like a spelling program that lends itself well to that.
  25. I didn't get an email and I'm not seeing it when I log in...do you have a link?
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