My brother and SIL are living with relatives after losing their house - they've been doing so for 4 years now and just in the last year they moved in with a different relative so their oldest child can go to a better school district when he starts K. They are supposed to be paying down their debt so they can get their own place (and also think that their problems started because they chose to buy instead of rent in the first place). But they haven't changed their spending habits either. In the same 4 years, we stayed current on all our bills and paid off over 20K in credit card debt. This is because we changed our spending habits. My wake up call was the realization that if we didn't change how we lived, I would have to put my kids in the care of someone else and go to work. In my opinion, free rides only help those people who have already shown a change in habit towards spending. Now that we are so used to being careful with our money, our financial outlook is so different. But if I had just been handed that without having to learn how to change first? Wouldn't have happened. I also find it odd that your brother won't give you any specifics - dates, specific amounts he can put towards it, etc. Anyway, I wouldn't give them the money, especially not if it was your only emergency money. What if you pay them and then you need to replace your roof? (we just had to fix a large portion of our roof, so that's the emergency repair that's fresh on my mind)

I have done nothing on the EI end of things. I am still expecting a call back from the original SLP with how today's collaboration meeting goes and what she learned. I am not making a decision with what to do with that for now - it's a separate issue right now, in my opinion.

I found a private speech therapist who left EI in order to work just with the more challenging cases and so her entire case load is children like my son. My insurance covers most of her fee, so I think I will at least try her and see how that goes. She is the first person I've talked to from the very beginning who didn't seem confused by my description of how he communicates. She actually seemed quite confident that she could help and had really good answers to the specific questions I asked. She mentioned that she doesn't advertise because she prefers the atypical cases and finds that the kids who need her, find her. I did find it funny that by the end of the conversation she asked if I was in the speech business because of how well versed I was with the lingo. I feel very good about trying her.

yes, I agree with all of what you have said here - a wait list shouldn't deter me from getting on a list for an evaluation and I did think about the fact that she used to work there... I wonder if she quit or got fired... Is fighting this system to get better services going to be beneficial or just cause more frustration? How do I even know if the SLPs in this system can figure out what is going on and service it? If a private eval from a children's hospital says he needs services 3 times a week, can that be enough to get me the increased services from Early intervention?

would a private therapist evaluation be as comprehensive as at a children's hospital?

would you go to a private therapist before you go to a children's hospital for a full speech workup? Our insurance might cover, if I remember correctly, it depends on the diagnosis- in other words he needs a diagnosis of something the insurance qualifies as a problem.

Our SLP is a service coordinator according to my paperwork. oh and the evaluation results: At 20 months (he is currently 23 months) he tested at 21 months cognitive, 21 months comprehension, 9-12 months expressive, 18 months social/emotional, 21 months adaptive, 21 months fine motor, and 19 months gross motor (because he couldn't jump... which now he can, which would put him at 24 months).

She said he needs 'motivated' and suggested a sticker chart so that each time he says a sound, he earns a sticker. Honestly - she has no idea what is causing him to speak/not speak the way he is. I asked point blank why he could have lost the words he used to have and she said well, it's not autism. So I asked what ELSE it could be... I already KNEW it wasn't autism!. She said sometimes kids lose language when they learn another skill. I said it didn't seem like that applied to his situation and she said, "well, no, it doesn't. that doesn't explain why he lost those words." She wouldn't say anymore about it.

Twice a month

I think I'm more upset now after a phone conversation with the SLP than I was earlier. I called to talk to share my frustrations and figure out my options. I got a lot of wishy washy uncomfortable with my questions kind of language from her. I specifically told her that I needed to figure out what was going on - she told me it is either behavioral or motor. Then she proceeded to explain why it is not motor. I requested the behavioralist come to my house with her next time and she said she would see if she could do that. I asked several times where I could take him so that I could at least figure out what is going on and which direction to go to help him talk and she finally told me after beating around the bush and me asking the same question again, that she is not allowed to make any recommendations. I mentioned that my ped. suggested a full speech workup at a local chlidren's hospital and she got very quiet and uncomfortable. Then she said she used to work there and that there are waiting lists. In the end she is promising to talk to some people tomorrow and get back to me. She ended by saying that it was good to hear a mom advocating for her child. It Makes me sick that the system here is apparently set up to keep information from parents and then not allow them to even validate the concerns that parents have when they are brought up. All I want is the tools necessary to help my baby speak!

Oh - and something that no one seems to find to be concerning is the fact that he's actually lost the couple words he did have: In August he could say "more" it sounded like: "Mmmmoooooor" but it was consistent for a good month or longer. He also used to be able to say "da" and point to the dog. He also did that consistently for several months. Now he doesn't use either word, even when prompted or if I act like I don't understand. Though, I should add, that he shows no social issues - per his speech eval he makes good eye contact, attends to you when you talk, interacts typically, etc.

I found out that I can request another slp, but that I cannot be guaranteed to get someone who knows anything about this specific issue. It's geographical - so there are a few who service the specific neighborhood we live in and I was assured that "all the therapists including the one we are working with have the necessary skill set to work with my son."

His receptive speech was at or above age - I would have to look it up (I'll do that after DH leaves for work in about an hour). The SLP talks each time she comes about how smart he is, that he understands everything she's trying with him, that his receptive language is great, that his attention span is amazing (He is happy to play with a single toy the entire time she is here, which apparently is unusual for the other kids she works with). I do realize that it will take time - I've been through the speech process before with my middle daughter. We did twice a month with her and it was painfully slow, she still has articulation problems but we quit EI because I wasn't willing to have them write her an IEP (for different reasons, not relevant to this conversation.) The problem is that at each visit, she says the words "I'm not sure" and then tells me what she is going to do "I'm going to talk to so and so, I'm going to look up thus and such..." 2 weeks ago she was going to look into selective mutism and talk to a behavioral specialist. Today when I asked about both, she told me she had forgotten. She wrote down that she will talk to the behavioral specialist because I started pushing what specialists could help us. The reason I started pushing that line of questioning is because she literally used the words, several times, "I just don't know!" and she also specifically stated "I've never seen this before!" She also mentioned today and in a previous session that he's just "so young" so it seems she's not comfortable with his age... which seems odd for early intervention... if he was too young my pediatrician wouldn't have referred him and he wouldn't have qualified.

It is through early intervention (the infants and toddlers program). (I honestly feel like I'm getting what I'm paying for, since it's free to me...) No hearing eval done, I'm going to follow through with that for sure - I've already got a call into my pediatrician about it. The twice a week thing was what I understood to be "standard" procedure for the infants and toddlers, that they can't really afford to do more than that because of how many kids they service. I spoke to another therapist that we used with my middle daughter (he was awesome) and shared my concerns with him and he agreed that it sounds like this lady is over her head. Now his opinion is that the early intervention program is fine, and that she is just not realizing what skill set she has that can be applied to my son's case, but the thing I got out of the conversation was that I can get better services through someone else... even if that wasn't what he said. I do get homework. I was told to purchase jiggler facial massagers to use on his face/cheeks/chin/lips (I did, and we use them a lot). She asks me to work on sounds - but doesn't give me any strategies to use when he won't say the sound. Today's homework was to use my fingers to shape his lips for each vowel sound. She also left a book with me that has pictures with sound effects to read with him.

I am, would I go through the university's website to find something?

He passed his newborn hearing screenings, but otherwise has not had a hearing check... other than speech, what would the signs of a hearing problem be? I haven't noticed anything off about what noises/sounds/words he responds to - he'll follow directions, come when called, look for a sound that he hears with no visual stimulus, responds to both quiet and loud sounds (startling to loud sounds). A hearing check is probably a good idea either way, though, just as something to rule out.

I asked for advice a few months back about whether to get speech services for my son and the overwhelming advice was yes. Now, I've gone through the evaluation process and have started twice monthly services (today was visit number 4) and am frustrated. I know more now that we've gone through the evaluation, but it's not helpful and we are making no progress and the therapist has never seen a child do this before and spends more time saying "I don't know!" than in giving any advice. Today I asked what other specialists I could seek services from and she told me she would talk to a behavioral therapist she knows to see if she has any advice but otherwise there's no one, in her opinion. She spent time telling me all the places she's looked for advise/info from and how no one has any ideas for her. Here's what I know, hopefully someone can advise me at least in a direction to go next? Sounds he can make: b, d, m, n, and the short a sound. He can scream (so his vocal chords work well), he eats fine, can open his mouth wide, has no tongue tie or any other physical issues with his mouth/lungs/etc. He is smart and understands EVERYTHING. He can pucker his lips, he can follow directions, he can communicate (just not with words). His words/communication all happen in the back of his throat like he is humming. He uses inflection, syllabication, will repeat any word you ask him to say (in his humming way) and spontaneously "speaks" (humming) dozens of words. The therapist is convinced (as am I) that if he would just open his mouth and bring sound forward, he would be speaking in sentences. She is questioning selective mutism because he won't use any sounds for her, but he doesn't use his sounds for communicating when he does use them (he will call "mama" for me when he is in bed and wants out, but otherwise his sounds are all a back and forth game "bababababa, mamamama, nananana, dadaddada" it's a game with him). When I try to use a sound he has (like ba) and play with a ball, "ba!" I'll point and he will repeat the word in the back of his throat. Then I play/sing with him and he will repeat my "babababa" His behavior is typical of a 2 year old (he turns 2 in January). He throws temper tantrums, but not for lack of ability to communicate, it's because he isn't getting what he wants. What do I do now? How do I help?

We went through testing for our daughter this fall and I found that the IQ number was really not helpful so much as the rest of the info was helpful. In the end the test results gave us answers to these questions: "how does she learn best?" "why is it so difficult to teach her certain things?" "what can I do to help keep peace during school times?" and I'm sure more, those are just the ones that came to mind. I think having more info about your children, especially if there are frustrations/questions about how to make things work more smoothly at home, makes testing well worth the time and money. Sorry, that doesn't give you questions to ask, but just encouragement as you enter the testing process!

DH said he and his brother were never required to wear seatbelts as a child until they got in a minor accident and threw DH on the floor of the car, uninjured. After that, they were required to wear seatbelts. In our state it is a primary law too so they can stop you just for a seatbelt violation but I don't think they do often. DH works at a public school in an inner city neighborhood and works car duty in the morning for student drop-off. He said that MOST kids are both not buckled and not in proper seats - so toddlers just bouncing in the back seat. I don't know how he is able to keep his mouth shut, honestly.

My DD is 3 and has crazy curly hair and we battle the same thing with the rats nests. When the curls aren't all knotted into one massive knot at the back of her head, her hair is so beautiful and she gets so many comments. I never use a comb on it - or brush. only my fingers. I gently separate the curls out of the rats nests and probably don't ever get it "tangle free".

I looked them up - they don't have a place that do the cut anywhere near me - closest place is almost an hour drive. I may check out the product line though!!

I was looking at the Shea Moisture line, maybe I'll try them. It's a possibility - I've not thought about that issue.

here's a question - should I repair the hair through a good product (low-poo/conditioner, or something else recommended above) or would you suggest I cut it and then begin the new product?

my DH is terrified of cutting my hair, I've tried talking him into it but he's convinced he'll do irreversible damage!

I've threatened this and DH tells me no. lol Too bad you can't try it and reverse it if you don't like it!