Thank you everyone - he's a slight boy living in a cold climate, so this is worth a try.

Can a really heavy comforter work for an 11yo with anxiety instead of a bought heavy blanket, or is there something special about the blankets that are filled with plastic pellets or other filling that weighs them down? All of the heavy blankets we've seen online are really expensive.

How terrible - so sorry.

I was surprised recently when I heard that the criteria for a 'youth development program' was 18-35. We were speculating amongst ourselves if that meant one is only regarded as 'adult' these days after age 35? Which happily pushes out becoming middle aged and elderly! If someone had asked me before, I'd have said around 16 to 24 (high school to end of university). Teenage and young adult.

My siblings and I live on 3 (used to be 4) different continents, and where we are, mail gets lost or seriously delayed - we've had birthday cards and packages arrive 7 months late before. We've agreed that cards are not practical and have resorted to WhatsApp and Skype for birthdays and holidays. We have a family group where we post updates on the 11 grandkids for my parents to enjoy and for us to keep up with each other. There will be one family member who posts a 'happy birthday you' that reminds all the others as well - and elicits a frenzy of private texts to the birthday person!

This will be the first time in 22 years that my siblings and I and our families all celebrate together with my Dad and stepmom. My mom passed away in 1986 already. We'll be flying internationally to all get to my one sister's house. My sister has had a Christmas eve tradition for many years now where friends gather to sing carols and drink mulled wine with fruit mince pies, so we'll join in with that. The youngest cousin still believes in Santa, so we'll all play along while the kids receive their Santa gifts (adults to kids - although the oldest 'kid' is 22) on Christmas morning. We have a Secret Santa amongst the adults with a £10 price limit. We've agreed that uni students and high schoolers will get money/ gift cards. We only every exchange gifts when we see each other, so for many years only had my mother-in-law and some years friends over for Christmas.

There was a draught in the Western Cape in South Africa last summer, and everyone was encouraged to save water in this way. Even the airports had signs up asking people not to flush and hand hand sanitizer instead of water and soap.

I'd laugh at something marked as a 'zombie survival kit' with some random things like sticking plasters, paperclips, chocolate, a water bottle, etc inside of it.

Novelty toilet paper might be something to consider - there are many fun designs. It has the white elephant 'useless' factor, but can still be used.

My husband and I worked out that years before we met, we were at the same late night cabaret show at an art festival in a town about 1000km from where we both lived at the time. There were probably about 40 people in that audience.

I took a gap year to travel and do odd jobs in Europe for a year after university. I was sitting on the stairs of the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam - and a good friend from home walked past. This was before the days of facebook and cellphones, so I had no idea she was in the country!

I'd go for individual sports too. In our town the kids do sports at school and there are no clubs for team sports for girls. My girls do horse-riding (the advantage of living rural!) and archery.

I've been moving my craft things - beads, fabrics, yarns, paints and other supplies into the shelves in one room. I knew I had a lot of stuff around the house, but seeing it all together is quite something. At the moment I craft one or two weekend days per month for a few hours each, but I could probably stay busy every day for about six months with what I've got stashed! And that's not counting the unfinished tapestries I inherited from my mother-in-law! How long could you stay busy with the the craft supplies you have stashed?

Having just dealt with an estate, I'm adding another vote for buy the house from them now and have them rent from you. It will be the simplest in the long run should their health situation change and when they pass their estate is separate from yours.

Happy Birthday Medicmom!!

Vandalism sounds like a very harsh description in this circumstance.

Hoping for a speedy and positive response from the judge.

A boy would have been named after a grandfather or great-grandfather: Richard Adrian, Joseph Benjamin, Robert John or William Cornelius Girl names that dh vetoed: Ayla, Claire, Emma. The names that he liked that I didn't Heather, Sage, Scarlett

((((Ottakee))))

It is completely reasonable to have independent vetting done as well as asking for the horse's medical records before purchasing. If someone at the barn was trying to warn me off of a horse, I'd take it very seriously. Injections and known neck issues suggest that the horse is not sound. More treatment may be needed down the road and vet bills can get very expensive. I would not purchase a horse that holds back the rider's development. It will be very disheartening and frustrating.

Having a place to look forward to that sounds ideal for you and the kids is a great motivator. Congratulations on getting it all organized in such an emotional time! Do you have a deadline to be out of the current house? Since you know what the place you're going to looks like, imagine what you want to keep and store in every room and how you want to live in it, and set those items aside. As previous posters have said, it puts the focus on what to keep, rather than on what to get rid of. I would categorize items and try to find a specialist for each, i.e. high end tools, auto repair tools, farming equipment, equestrian stuff (if you still have it), household estate and then find a good person to sell each category. In our area there are equestrian consignment shops and at the auction house, they also have monthly sales for farming equipment where dealers also sell on consignment. That might also be an option. It can take long to sell, but at least the things are there, and not in your space.

It was important to me when I was a teenager, so I remember dates I memorized then, but there are about 15 living now. My siblings, cousins, aunt and uncle, etc.

It is indeed true that there is still a lot of racial tension in South Africa, not only between black and white, but also between black ethnic groups and between other race groups. Sadly, race remains an easy card to play for political parties. I'm deducing that you are African-American, and I'm just wondering whether the looks you got were because of your skin colour or your American accent? I am white, but I often dine with black friends and at the restaurants we go to, neighborhood and high end, people are used to seeing diners of all races. I don't ever feel that our table stands out or that we are looked at - even as a mixed race table. I don't know that people would be looking at you funny because of your colour, but I'd certainly look up if I heard an American accent. As I do when I hear other accents too.

It does sum up nicely that the situation is far from clear on what is meant by land appropriation without compensation or how it will work.

Violence in South Africa is fueled by poverty and unemployment. Unemployment is officially at 27%. These are people of working age that are still actively seeking employment. The picture is in actual fact even more bleak than that as many people have simply given up looking and the expanded rate of unemployment is at 36%, so more than a third of people do not have jobs. And when one looks at those that are employed, only 15% of the population can be regarded as middle class based on their income alone. These are classified as people who live in a household of 4 with a monthly income of between R5 600 and R 40 000 (at the current exchange rate, US$ 390 to US$2800). 70% of the population live in households who earn less than US$390 per month. These people are regarded as poor, i.e. unable to meet their basic needs every month. Little hope for the future pushes people into alcoholism, addiction and violence. So, unless the problems of inequality and poverty are addressed, then violence will indeed continue.