Thank you for giving us this great update!

Good on you for seeing the blessing even though you're in pain and incapacitated. May you recover well from the operation.

I'm 51 and for the first time in my life sprang for a Diva Cut this week - the hairdresser cut my hair dry and washed and conditioned after. It has made a HUGE difference to how my hair shapes my face. A lot shorter than I"m used to, but really pretty. I have fine hair that tends to frizz. I learned to re-use the water that comes off from rinsing the conditioner and to really work it in strand by strand while the hair is wet through. This helps with clumping. Then to apply curl cream with 'praying hands' to not break the clumps. She started off diffuse drying from the top down with cold air to seal the cuticles and held my hair in a towel in what she called the 'hammock' position. Only when the ends were dry did she turn up the heat and diffuse in the normal way (pushing the curls up with the difusser). She only pushed her fingers in when my hair was completely dry.

And those of us in different time zones!!

Taking it down now.

Thanks everyone. I think we'll just replace the bathtub in a a regular surround that we have.

We have a plumbing problem which means removing the bath and breaking into the wall. This is South Africa, so the walls are brick not wood as I've seen on US housing shows. This is a great opportunity to remodel and I'm looking at a new bath. I love the look of a standalone bath, but I'm wondering how practical it would be to have one with curved sides in the corner of a bathroom? How would one clean around it? Anyone with experience of this?

I'm delighted to read this MedicMom! Thanks for the update.

I"ve also been wondering. Thinking of you MedicMom.

I couldn't leave a child who will be traumatized by me not being there either, whatever their age. My sister actually developed a stutter for 3 years after she was left at my aunt's house when she was 3. Assuming that this is what it is about, maybe the conversation with dh has to be around how to rekindle intimacy and desire while you stay at home?

Have you tried historic fiction? Phillipa Gregory is easy to read.

One of my favourite things is a relaxing Sunday afternoon on the couch with twaddle in hand. Mostly crime fiction. I discovered the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child quite late, and was able to read all of the books in the series within a few months. I was really sad when I came to the last one! I don't think there's a sentence longer than 15 words. All are brisk and to the point. Reacher is an intriguing hero who beats up bad guys and there's enough of a plotline to keep one going - real mind candy. I also enjoy Jo Nesbo (Harry Hole detective series), Tess Gerritsen Rizzoli and Isles series (a policewoman and femaie pathologist) and South African writer Deon Meyer.

We have a dress like this that my sisters and cousins handed between us for our girls - it was bought for smart for the first granddaughter and then got handed down between 5 cousins! The youngest wore it for a play dress. Each has a picture in it at around age 2. And this was over 3 continents!!

When we got married we didn't have a washing machine, so told the parents and parents-in-law that if anyone asked to tell them cash towards the washing machine would be welcome. It wasn't written down anywhere though. We did get enough to buy the machine.

I always thought it was tacky to leave the price-tag on a gift, never mind handing over the receipt. And it also assumes that everyone has the means to buy items off a registry - and doesn't that become a game of one-upmanship?

I can't imagine being friends with anyone that entitled and consumer orientated. Totally tacky.

Thinking of you, your family and community Melissa. I can only imagine the stress you're under.

My aunt had a double mastectomy and what I learned from her is that you should allow yourself the time to grieve and mourn for the old you that you've lost. Grief takes time. You don't have to make immediate decisions and if you still feel after a year that you want to restore that part of your identity, then it will be the time to make the decision.

Thank you for posting this. I knew there were different cultural regions, but this really explains it well.

I actually learned a lot from the fact that people were so bothered by the response - even after all these years of reading the boards! In my culture (South African, grew up in Afrikaans community) it is perfectly acceptable to give a straight answer to a straight question. There is always a grain of truth in a stereotype. Ask any comedian.

I have been working on a project with colleagues from the USA and Germany. I'm not sure if its national culture or the specific corporate culture of the individuals that I"m observing. Not necessarily offensive, but I have found that the American confidence and 'can-do' attitude does lead to team members not admitting when there are problems on the project. They report things as 'all good' when they should be raising red flags on budget and timelines. On the other hand, the Germans point out every possible hurdle!

You know you can do it! All the best.

Lovely update, thank you! All the best to her and to your family.

Thinking of you too Melissa and hoping for the best.

I'm really curious what this activity is.