My sister in the UK is a midwife and worked for an agency that did home births, but unfortunately they had to close due to insurance issues. The scenarios I like best is where she would sit outside the door or around the corner from the birthing mom. She'd be listening for the mom's breathing and movements and respond when she thought it was appropriate, but mostly keep herself out of the way. That seems like a good compromise to me.

I collected out of print South African children's books for many years and I can't get myself to sell those. We used only a fraction of what we own in our homeschool. I've kept small bins of beloved picture books and early reading books, but the rest of the children's books and curriculum have all been sold now. Dh has Lego and other construction sets that his mom kept from his childhood. As long as they're in his closet I'm OK with that. We don't have a garage, basement or attic, so storage space is limited to what can fit into closets and shelves. They do get overly stuffed at times, but it has limited what we can keep. There's a small under-stairs outside room for gardening stuff and the kids have a small shed for their horse-riding bins.

This was my thought too when I saw the thread title - even before knowing their ages.

My mother was born in 1943 in Rotterdam. She had just turned a year old during the hunger winter of 1944-45. My grandfather used to tell us how he road for km's on his rope-tyre bicycle to find 'brown beans', the only food he could consistently source for her to eat. She disliked anything with beans in it as an adult!

I did not know the term 'toxic positivity' and had to google. Something to be mindful of and avoid definitely. Yes, it sometimes does just suck. You are not alone Jenny.

There might be something in this letter by Esther Perel that resonates? https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-grief-summit-tickets-139778915499 She has a list of book recommendations too.

I don't have any recommendations, but just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you have to deal with this.

Thank you for voicing the concerns with this particular game. I wasn't able to articulate why it was making me feel uncomfortable.

I would imagine the slides visible when the veil is up, as she will only really be wearing it down while walking down the aisle.

It wasn't really forced. Some people chose not to fill it in. I like the idea of a recipe. .

We attended a beautiful garden wedding yesterday. The men wore chino pants and white shirts, so no flowers or hankies. The bride did not wear a veil. She had simple flowers in her hair. The skirt of her dress was long and flowing at the back though. If the bride does want a veil, she will typically wear it throughout the service, but remove it for the reception.

I attended a bridal shower on Saturday, and we were asked to fill out an "Advice for the Bride" leaflet. The answers were both fun and serious. What are your answers to one or more of the following (changing to your partner as it fits for you) Never let your husband ___ Always tell your husband___ Never tell your husband___ Always make your husband___ Never forget your husband’s___ Always remind your husband that he is___ Never give your husband advice about___ Always help your husband in the ___ Never assist your husband in the___ Always try to ___with your husband Never try to ___with your husband Always say your husband is___ Never say your husband is ___ Always give your husband___ Never hide__from your husband Most importantly always___your husband And never____your husband

I am so sorry for your loss littlebug42.

No, I don't think its weird at all. You can feel sad about losing him, but at the same time compassionate to the despair that drove him to suicide. I believe that anger is a basic "flight, fight or freeze" response which is driven by fear and mostly stems from feeling threatened, attacked. frustrated, vulnerable or powerless. It is a response to feeling pain or of anticipating pain. Anger fires one up to take action (fight) to eliminate the pain in some way. So, in the case of feeling angry at someone you love taking their own life, the pain could stem from feeling betrayed or powerless or a similar emotion. If you don't have that emotion, then there is no need for anger.

So sorry for your loss. Anger (and related emotions) are very much part of the Grief Cycle as it was defined defined by Dr Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Allow yourself to feel the anger, both at your brother, and also at the loss of the trusting relationships that you had and which have been broken by people disappointing you. It is perfectly normal and OK to feel anger. What your brother and the partner and your family did is hurtful, whatever their motivations and reasons. (((hugs))) as you go through this painful and difficult time.

I'm sorry for your loss and all the wasted years Scarlett. You and your sister look like twins!

Every poster in this thread has said that you're not a failure. Not even close. You're resilient and resourceful and brave. Please believe what you are reading. You evaluated your current situation and made the very best decision for your family. That is success.

I think a 'Welcome to the Family' zoom party with the pictures and gifts and secular stories sounds lovely! It is an opportunity to celebrate the new family member, and also the changing relationships in the family and community. In my family we have both religious and non-religious godparents for the children (although the translation doesn't actually contain the word 'god' - it is actually the same as 'foster') . The request is still to be a special adult in the child's life and provide support and moral guidance and to make the promise to take care of the child if the parents can't - so a very serious commitment. If the children aren't baptized in the church, then there is a small get-together to formalize the request and agreement to it. As far as a ceremony goes, you could substitute Christian texts with a beautiful poem. You could also have each person say a few words to the baby (good wishes, positive thoughts, etc).

That seems odd to me too. Or is it standard practice to give blood work results in person? I guess something was seriously wrong, then the dr would see it on the blood reports.

Melissa, how did it go with your son during the night?

The best venison I've had has been a Springbok venison potje. It cooked for at least 8 hours and was served on a safari trip. The food was excellent, but the setting even better. The hosts set a wonderful long-table on a hill overlooking the bush. Just amazing. The potjie lid is only lifted towards the end of the cooking time to reduce the liquid if required. Any slow-cooking stew recipe will work. In our area there is an annual potjie-kos (potjie-food) competition at the local school fair where people try all kinds of recipes from venison, beef, lamb and chicken to lasagne. My husband makes a mean ox-tail potjie and my dad used to make a great pot-bread on the fire. Seafood works too. We visited friends at the coast recently and were served meal that they had foraged completely themselves. The starter was a mussel potjie.

My sister in Ireland is turning 50 this year and for the last four years she's been talking about my other sister, her and I getting together for a sister's vacation for her birthday. We've been saving for a cruise on a Cunard ship as none of our spouses is interested in cruising. Normally, we'd be making the bookings for November by now and have everything arranged, but who knows what this year holds? When we do get together we'll have a heightened appreciation for how lucky we are to be able to do so.

I hope its nothing more serious than the antibiotics causing the black blood. I'd still urge him to make an earlier appointment if he can.

People drink it like regular tea, adding dairy or other milk, sugar, honey, etc. I mostly have it plain, but sometimes add a bit of lemon juice. My elder daughter likes to add honey. Younger likes a flavoured rooibos with watermelon & mint.

That makes sense - I guess its a cultural thing and what people are used to. We use mostly teabags straight into a mug too, but I do have small tins of leaf tea and strainers for when we get 'fancy' and take out the tea set with dainty cups and saucers. I have an elderly neighbour who only ever drinks leaf tea from a teacup. To her, a tea bag in a mug is just not civilised! She's also very particular about warming the cup before pouring the tea. She's quite prepared to drink instant coffee though, so go figure! The decision-tree for offering drinks to visitors usually goes "hot or cold?", if hot, then "coffee or tea?" and if they want tea, there is always a choice between regular and rooibos tea. Some people may have a tea caddy with a variety of different types of teabags. Traditionally people add milk and sugar to their tea, although there are many people like myself who have it without. At work we have a wall mounted hot-water boiler in the kitchen which is attached to the water lines, as is the bean to coffee machine. The tea selection is regular, rooibos, earl grey and green tea.