A bit late to the party, but yesterday I took a friend out and treated her to a facial for her birthday - it wasn't a random act, but I was really happy that she accepted the gift and I was able to do something nice for her. Their family has had an absolutely rotten year as a result of Covid affecting their business and went from living fairly comfortably to having to cut everything to the bone and then still not knowing how they'd pay the bills. Thankfully they were debt free regarding mortgages and cars, so their house is safe. The business is finally picking up again. She actually said it was the first time she'd relaxed in months.

We live in an eco-estate a bit out of town and I appreciate 1) safety - crime is a huge problem in the country and our estate is relatively safe. The distance from town helps and we have good security. 2) living in the bush in the summer. Our house is a freezer in winter and poorly heated, but this time of year I love it. Our garden in lush and green and full of birds and small animals 3) the friends we have in the community.

What a mean-spirited and horrible person to have to work with - I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

I'm so sorry for your loss Regentrude. Will you be able to attend the funeral in person?

Both my parents were immigrant children from Europe after WWII and achieved their high school diplomas, but there was no money to got to tertiary institutions. They studied for certificates where they could through their employers and were self-taught in so many fields, from building a house together, literally brick by brick themselves, to playing musical instruments, doing art, and their own taxes. I was extremely fortunate to receive study bursaries for university education. The system here is that a company sponsors your tertiary education and you then have an obligation to work for them for a period, usually year for year. The company does this to recruit talented students for scarce skills, in my case in the STEM field, and for the student it means they have employment after they complete their education. My husband was on the same scheme and we met through work. It was never our intention to stay for as long as we have, but we have both been with the company now for more than 25 years and probably will be until we retire. We give back by sponsoring others. I've been meaning to reach out to an old school friend and will do so today.

Congratulations Condessa and family and welcome to the world little Ephraim!

In my note I added a quote by Ester Perel "the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives". This is so true!

My daughters have had the most wonderful horse-riding coach. We've known her since the eldest was 6. She takes her riders up the ranks to the highest level of competition, but yet it is never about winning, its always about taking part and enjoying the experience. She gently guides the kids to care for and encourage each other and for the older ones to 'pay it forward' by helping the younger ones. I've never heard her get impatient or raise her voice. Ever. And believe me, there has been reason to over the years! She has held in the frustration! It is wonderful to have adults in our children's lives that enrich them and to whom they can look up to. Sending her a note right away.

I 'took to crime' during Covid and spent many a weekend afternoon on the couch reading Tess Gerritsen, Kathy Reich, Stephen Leather, Patricia Cornwell, Jo Nesbo and many more. I'd find one I like and then read everything the Rotary bookstore in town had of that author. Our book club finally met again last month - we moved it to a Saturday afternoon and all sat outside in one member's garden - it was fantastic to see everyone again in person after all this time. We did have a few Zoom meetings, but it was just not the same. I've put together a few boxes and will be taking them to donate this weekend.

The journal is so pretty Granny_Weatherwax! The hobby I've done the most consistently in the last 10 years is researching the genealogy of my and dh's families. My father was born in WWII and he did not know his father or anything about his heritage as his father died when he was only four month's old and his mother did not keep up contact with her in-laws as she was a foreigner and not really welcomed by her mother-in-law. After the war she returned to her home country and from there emigrated to South Africa with her two young children. Her brother had come before her. I found my grandfather's entry on a war memorials website in reference to a plaque in Plymouth and from there the hobby has kept me busy. Besides a brick wall on one branch, I've gone back 8 generations of all sides of both dh and my families. It turned out that my grandfather had also lost his father in World War I, even before he was born, so two generations grew up without their father. As to how it has influenced me, I think knowing where you came from does give one a place of belonging in the world. For my father I think it filled in some gaps in his sense of self and identity. I really enjoy the sleuthing and fact-finding and have had some great interactions with distant cousins, especially one 5th cousin living in New York - we've never met, but have been emailing on and off for the last 8 years and have had some great conversations when one of us finds something new or interesting. I'm grateful to all of the volunteer indexers who spend hours transcribing records that make it possible to find so much valuable information online. It would not have been possible to find out as much as I have even a decade ago without loads of money to travel to archives.

We live 12km out of town - so rely on my husband's truck and my old Toyota Rav4 - its a 2009 model. Covid and working from home has postponed its replacement by a few more years.

This. My siblings and I live on three continents (used to be four) and we all have an emergency air ticket on our list of emergency fund items. My father who is in his 80s was hospitalized last year (non Covid-related) and my brother was diagnosed with cancer (in remission as of two weeks ago!!) and it was dreadful for my siblings knowing that if worst came to worst they wouldn't be able to fly out. We are very grateful that everyone has stayed healthy and the whole family (except brother) is now vaccinated and can freely travel again. it is not something I'll ever take for granted again. The ability to connect via Zoom and other channels has been amazing.

Dh and I have both survived three restructurings in the last six years in the large corporate that we both work for and have seen many colleagues fired, so I am very thankful that we still have jobs in a country with nearly 45% unemployment rate. We have friends that were not so lucky and others that have gone through very tough times financially due to Covid that has affected their businesses. After working part-time for many years, I went back to full-time five years ago. I was lucky that I could get into projects that led to recognition of my skills by top management. In the last restructuring our entire department was made redundant and we were all put on the redeployment list. Not everyone could be redeployed, but I was placed in a senior management position in another part of the business that is entirely new to me thanks to the support that I had from the VP's that I'd worked with on the projects. I do work hard and am pretty skilled at what I do, but without fortuitously getting the exposure it could have been me having to leave as well. I'm very thankful for: - an absolutely fantastic team of four that I 'inherited' with the new job - they are all experienced, knowledgeable and motivated and have been so welcoming to me while I was feeling out of my depth in a job where, for the first time in my career, I know way less about the business area than my team members. - being able to work from home throughout the pandemic with only occasional trips to the office closest to home, rather than the one an hour's commute away where I was previously positioned. - financial security that enables us to pay for my elder daughter's university and younger daughter's school and which lets us support their sports and hobbies. - medical insurance that comes with the job. - the ability to build up a solid retirement fund.

My sister has an amazing memory for the minutiae of our childhood experiences. She'll recall a memory starting with the pattern and colour of the carpets in so-and-so's house and how it smelt when she walked into the door, and on and on. Recently she reminded another sister and I of us playing outside in our back garden under the avocado tree and her vivid descriptions brought it all back to me. Little girls in frilly bikinis playing with a hose-pipe in a blow-up pool on a very hot summer's day. Our Mom bringing out the watermelon on a tray. Happy days of innocent youth.

Well done to your daughter Melissa! My 21yo learned yesterday that she won the undergraduate Philosophy paper competition at her university. Such a wonderful boost to her confidence. In two week's time she'll be finished with her bachelors (three-year) degree.

I'm late to post and write it down, but I was thinking about this yesterday. My siblings live on three different continents (used to be four) and my parents live about 1000miles from where we are. Covid has brought us together in a weekly Zoom meeting - its sometimes tedious, but we have kept it up this last year and a half for the sake of our parents. With grown children in the mix, there are 9 parties that dial in and some of us do so while cooking or hiking or whatever we are doing in that 40 minutes. We also have a family Whatsapp group where we keep up to date. Although we don't see each other often, it is good to know that I am part of a family that is interested in our lives, celebrates the small successes and victories and sympathizes with setbacks, although often too far to provide practical help. We live in an industrial town and over the 25 years we've been here, many of our friends have come and gone, mostly to emigrate, so we have friends al over the world. Our best friends left 10 years ago and we haven't really grown that close to anyone new. I do speak to my friend every 6 weeks or so and then we have a marathon sessions, often up to 2 or 3 hours. The conversation flows and I always feel uplifted and energized afterwards. Locally I have one very good friend whom is actually moving to another province next week. At least its in-country and I can plan to see her a few times per year! I can't imagine how isolated we'd feel without modern technology - my grandparents immigrated in 1948. A letter took more than a month to reach its destination overseas, and a phonecall was so expensive it was only to announce a birth or death in the family. Now I can stand in a dressing room and ask my sister overseas what she thinks of my outfit!

I can't think of anything more, but just wanted to say that I'm sure they will want to come back year after year as you are doing a wonderful job of making your place 'home' to them.

There is an artisanal baker in our town. One orders during the week and you pick up your bread and pastries on a Friday afternoon. They are absolutely passionate about what they do and make the best products.

I use Ancestry and it works well for me. I go through phases of paying for the subscription and then letting it go again if I'm not actively searching. One is always able to view one's tree and anything that you uploaded yourself even when not paying the subscription at the time. You can set your tree to private and only invite the people you'd like to share it with, or have a public tree.

It is summer here now and the time of year when I love our house the most. We have large windows in every room to look out onto the garden which has turned a lush green after shaking off the dreariness of winter. I've just been out to check that all of the sprinklers are spraying where they should and adjusting those that weren't .

I am grateful for 1) Our health 2) Steady income 3) Dd heard today that she is through to the 2nd round of admission interviews for her honours degree.

Tap, I have followed your story over the years and I agree with Melissa - you have done an amazing job! It has been a tough parenting journey and you have given it your all. I hope that you are able to advocate for and access the right care facility where there are qualified staff to deal with your daughter's needs and that it works out well for you all.

Its the same here in South Africa. A lot of people couldn't do business yesterday.

I like BGE - pronounced BeeGee - for Best Grandma Ever. I see grandkids in the future, but hopefully not for many years. Growing up my grandparents were Opa + Surname and Oma + Surname. Very formal. They were Dutch. My father and Stepmom are Oupa and Ouma (in Afrikaans) and Dh's parents were Grandma and Grandpa.

Wonderful news!!