Thank you TechWife. I was and still am hesitant to talk to the therapist, hence the question, and I think you've answered it for me. The alternative I can think of is to ask Dd if we can prepare together. I think she'd be comfortable with that and I can then ask her to describe to the therapist what has happened with these friends. And to also discuss what is going well with her other friendships. That might be the opening that the therapist needs. She is definitely missing cues. The work she did with her therapist in high school helped her to identify cues and then she knew what people expected of her. I think the pressures are higher now and that does make her more needy and blind to cues.

I would have loved for her to have a few more years at home where I could guide her, but there are no universities close to home that would allow her to study from home. The best we can do are daily check ins. You're right, she is desperate for love and acceptance and as Rosie pointed out, she trusts too easily that people will be as kind as her good friends are. She does get intense too quickly and there are people who can manage that, and others that cannot. I understand that fully and that is the aspect of relationships she needs to learn. Her thinking is very black and white (another manifestation of autism), but we are working on learning grace and to give people second chances.

There are no specific ASD clubs or social groups where she can meet people on the spectrum. The "nerdy" friends that she plays online D&D with are probably the closest. Unfortunately, those friends are also too far away to meet up regularly, but they have done done so a few times and they have also gone camping together where they enjoyed playing board games and going game watching.

Gosh, that does hurt. Comparing her to a narcissist or sociopath? I have written about the interactions that have concerned me and have become too intense over time, and those are the ones she needs to learn to manage. Not all of her friendships are this way. She is a really fun person and that is why she has an active social life. Poeple invite her out bowling, or to functions and other social events. By no means all of her interactions scare people. I just cannot agree that it's polite to just cut people off, but I do realize that my cultural expectations of going "no-contact" is different to many in the USA. Unfortunately nobody at her school walks around with an 'I'm autistic' label to make identifying them easier.

That would be a good start, thanks Rosie.

My brother and his family live in Taiwan. They are safe, and none of their family or close friends have been injured, but they do know people who's houses and businesses have been severely damaged.

Thank you for verbalizing what she needs to learn. I struggle with finding the right vocabulary to express to her what she is missing and why this might be putting people off.

To me it seems cowardly and without any compassion or empathy for the person who is just cast aside. How does one go from intense daily communication to nothing at all in one swoop? Is there no longer a responsibility towards the other person to at least give them a reason why you're cutting them off? I have a lot of respect for the friend that did try to say why he was going to simmer for a while.

Thanks for your insight Rosie. Her high school therapist actually did tell me that she though Dd was emotionally about 3 years behind developmentally, so I guess we should see it as a nearly 17yo in an adult environment. It does suck that these are normal autistic problems and my heart really hurts for her. Ghosting really sucks too, even if the intention is to be polite. I think Dd would prefer a straight conversation so that she knows where she stands and can learn from her errors.

* Update posted in thread below on 19 Apr * My 19yo Dd has an ASD spectrum diagnosis and is navigating adulthood independently at university. Her emotions resemble a square wave with extreme amplitude, either on an emotional high, or completely in the doldrums. These correlate directly to how she perceives herself being treated by her friends and whether she feels included or not. She has a very gregarious nature and attracts people, but unfortunately with those she likes, she latches on immediately, calling them friends within a week and she becomes 'high maintenance' quickly. She has a few close friends who value her, are accommodating of her and have also been able to put boundaries in place that she respects and understands. [I will be deleting the next few paragraphs, but I want to give detail and context - ETA this has turned out very long, so skip to the next brackets if you'd like] [deleted for privacy] [...] Of course she is again heartbroken, wondering 'what is wrong with me?' and 'why do people always desert me?'. I don't think all of this is on her, but Dh and I have tried to talk to her about becoming 'too much too soon' and putting emotional pressure on people, but she feels that we are criticizing her and she does not listen or can't comprehend our advise. During high school she was with a therapist with whom she discussed all off her relationships and who helped her immensely to navigate these. She also found herself a therapist on campus last year. As the friendships were seemingly going well, from what I can gather they worked on dealing with academic anxiety. Unfortunately she is no longer available as Dd has moved. Dd has agreed to an initial consultation with a psychologist in our area for next week when she is here on recess. If they get along, she can continue with her remotely and see her in person when she's home. The question I have is whether I should fill the therapist in on these incidents and what I perceive may be the cause? What she hears from Dd on the day is going to very much depend on where she is on her square curve on the day. I may, however, be overstepping. Also, how do Dh and I help Dd to read the friendship cues and understand boundaries?

I'm curious what the definition of rehab is in the USA? My husband had major surgery and was in hospital for 10 weeks, 4 of which were in 'high-dependency care'. A step down from ICU, where people here are mostly on ventilators or are having continuous dialysis, but which still means that you need 24/7 surveillance, are attached to IV's, oxygen lines and monitors. It sounds like this is the case with the OP's father. That he is not on artificial ventilation? Anyway, what we called rehab started almost immediately with mobilization that required him to swing his legs off the bed on day two, progressing in tiny increments to walking down the corridor with the PT and IV's and Oxygen cylinder in tow and then to very light arm exercises in bed. His diet also went through a rehab process from intravenous feed to fluids to soft food, etc.

I had my last child at 36 and always joked that I wanted to sleep through the night by age 40. That feeling of waking up refreshed the next morning!

I can't begin to imagine how agonizing this decision has been for you Tap. I remember when you took your niece in and you could never have foreseen how incredibly difficult the journey with her would be. And to process that without your boyfriend or wonderful dog by your side is a lot.

https://lookastic.com/women/beige-pants/looks?page=4

Depending on the type of pants (casual or more formal) you could also go with white trainers and a white shirt.

When you use the word jazz, the first South African band that comes to mind is African Jazz Pioneers. Maybe not quite the genre you are looking for. You might also like Tananas. My favourite band of the 80's. A mostly chilled instrumental fusion of jazz an salsa. https://www.music-map.com/ is a cool site to use to determine what you might like in a similar to your current tastes.

As kids my parents loved Dallas and wouldn't let us watch because of the content! As teens, we loved the A-team and Magnum PI Friends House Sherlock (British series) Reality shows: Survivor (from all countries), Grand Designs, the Dutch and Afrikaans versions of Farmer Wants a Wife (I'm too conservative for tge Australian version).

I remember a hurtful parody blog. Back then you could also pick up someone's IP address and trace their real identity that way. I don't think Ree was using her surname then yet, and if I recall the person 'outed' her.

There are also different types of AI. ChatGPT is a language model. It's function is, as you say, to generate human-like text based on the inputs received. There are also other AI subsets, including machine learning which uses algorithms and statistical models that rely on patterns and inference. Predictive maintenance analysis in factories comes to mind, or fraud detection. And in turn a subset of this is deep learning that uses neural networks and is used for things like facial recognition and possibly in the future may have a large enough database to enable predictive analysis for unmanned vehicles. We all know about robotics that use machine learning and visual recognition in the vehicle industry. All of these programs are only as good as the (many absolutely brilliant) developers and data scientists writing them. Not to say that they can't be used for evil purposes.

Welcome little Nabby! Congratulations to her parents and family.

My 27yo niece and 25yo nephew live in big cities in the UK and don't have driving licenses. The use public transport, Uber or taxis.

Colleen? I'd wondered what became of her.

Adding that if you do have the space for containers or stackable drawers, don't try to fill each drawer, but rather have a separate one for each type of item. What I mean is we have one shallow drawer for paintbrushes, two shallow drawers for paint, another for scissors, yet another for pencils, etc. Staples and paperclips and other items to attach papers together is in another shallow drawer, but nothing more. It does take up more space, but once something has a home, it's easier to maintain.

The Parent Trap

We have no basement, attic or garage. We do have fair sized closets, a bookshelf in every room and our office has wall to ceiling bookshelves on two walls. While we were homeschooling, I had labeled stackable transparent drawers in the bookshelves instead of containers, some shallow and some deeper. Not pretty, but very functional as things in drawers are easier to access than in a container. A number are still in use and we all know where to put and find stationary, craft supplies, homeschool items, etc. Large stackable drawers inside their closets also worked for toys when the kids were little. We could pull out a large drawer, they could play, and we could put the drawer back. We also have baskets in the closets for socks and undies. There are hooks behind the bedroom doors for bags and flat hanging pockets inside the door for jewellery, hair accessories and make-up. There is a basket at the bottom of the stairs and during the day Ill dump anything that belongs upstairs In it. I carry it up and distribute to the different rooms where the owner needs to pack it away.