TKDmom
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Posts posted by TKDmom
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20 hours ago, Paradox5 said:
Just supplies. All the craft directions are in the Lang arts/history guide.
Ok thanks. Maybe someday I’ll decide to use all of OM...
Now to search for a stand alone art/craft program that will appeal to a 10yo. She wants to bake cupcakes and cookies every day. I need to find a different (lower calorie) outlet for her creative urges. 😂
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What are your recommendations for craft kits?
DD adores crafts (I don't), and wants more variety to our days. I'm looking at using parts of Oak Meadow 5 for my dd10 (at least science), and I'm wondering about the craft kit. Is it just supplies? Or does it include the instructions? It would be nice to get the OM kit, but if the instructions are integrated in the language/history manual, it won't do me much good.
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I've thought about doing this too. But it feels like a cave down there. We bought our house for all the windows in the main areas, and I can't make myself spend any time in the basement, unless we're watching a movie during a tornado watch.
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I'm curious to know how deschooling looks for different people and how (or if) it helped your child, and what it looked like to transition into homeschooling. How did you know your kids were ready to transition into full-time homeschooling? Did you ease into subjects slowly? Or did you have an "official" start date to jump right in with a full schedule? I'm also curious how summer vacation might have factored into your deschooling time.
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I've seen a missionary picture in a wedding photo a few times, and I think it's cute. It's way to acknowledge that they would be there if they could. But I'd definitely take some pics without him, so you can see how you would like it.
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Does anyone have resources for VA Studies?
I've had my kids back in school for the last 2 years, and it's just not working for my youngest. So I'm exploring options for homeschooling 4th grade and keeping the topics close to what they are doing in school here.
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Here's a link I saved on Pinterest. https://pin.it/xf3nqqx2hr4ing
I wouldn't do all the colors, just pick a couple that you like.
My house is currently painted in Behr Antique White (it looks kinda like the baby fawn on this link). The previous owner painted all the walls and ceilings with it in a flat sheen. It's boring, but nice enough. I just wish they'd used eggshell so I could wipe the walls clean. I need to repaint everything, so I'll put some of these colors in some rooms and keep the antique white in the hallways and main living areas.
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I'm turning 40 in a couple weeks, and it's a little surreal. I'm applying to grad school at the same time my oldest is applying to college, and I feel too middle-aged to be starting a new thing. But then, I take a long view and see that I have years and years left. I might as well do things I enjoy (which means learning new things for me).
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What does it mean for the girl to be mean? It's sort of a loaded term. She says things that are untrue? She doesn't include you in activities?
Now it could be she's being bullied or being treated unkindly, yes. But it's also true that people with ASD can have social thinking issues that sort of skew what they expect from people. Like they might expect to sort of own a friendship. So then if that person is friends with someone else, that person is being mean or unfaithful. There can be weird things there, expectations.
And instead of using b/w terms (good, bad, mean, nice), how about on a scale of 1-10 meanness, HOW mean is she? Like she's so mean she's trying to KILL you and you need to call the police? Or she's mean like she stole things out of your locker (a 7)? Or she's mean like she didn't choose you for the softball team (3)? Or she's mean like she doesn't say hi to you every time (1)?
If this is a ps, you have the legal right to make a written request for evals. They can run some pragmatics on her and get her some social thinking and social skills intervention, irrespective of diagnosis.
I’ll tease out degree this afternoon. But basically what she said was that this girl tells her to go away all the time. She wants to play with friend A, but girl B is playing with her and won’t let dd join in. Or dd is playing with girl A, and girl B comes up and tells dd to go away so that A and B can play. If that makes any sense... She had about 2 min to tell me about it, but it sounds like dd is being treated as a third wheel, and she just goes away when she’s told to go.
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Autism research – Naviaux Lab Here's the research stuff on the cell danger response. The guy behind it is Naviaux and the drug is suramin.
My ds does have this improvement when he has high fevers. And just anecdotally, I know people with autism who find improvement with regular use of steam rooms.
Like your DS behaves more like a typical child or he’s just more sedate? I’ll go read the article now. I’m just curious, because life is always easier when dd has a fever, but I assume it’s because she’s to tired to do much besides nap and watch tv.
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Another thing I realized this morning. When she was in 2nd grade we were living in a rental—it was a furnished townhome and dd8 had to share a queen-sized bed with a sibling. She slept so much better with a warm body next to her. Her quality of sleep is awful—she has been visiting me in the night since she was old enough to get out of a crib. Last year, when she shared a bed is the only stretch of time I’ve slept through the night since I started having kids. I know that lack of sleep makes her more difficult to live with on school days. Ideally, she would go to a school at 10am.
I just bought a kit to make a weighted blanket. I’m hoping that will help her stay asleep at night.
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If she cannot verbalize well in general, it does sound like autism or anyway something other (or in addition to) ADHD/ODD going on.
If she can generally verbalize well about things, but just not about why she hates school, then you might be able to get at more specifics by asking her very specific questions--or even by trying to figure out what parts are okay.
Perhaps go through all the kids and ask her what each of them is like and determine if any of them are nice to her. Who does she eat lunch with and where? Who does she sit next to in each class or activity she has and what is that person like? How does she perceive each of her teachers? Has anyone called her or anyone else names? Has anyone been mean to her or anyone else? etc.
It sounds like there could be some sort of bullying or social ostracism or isolation going on to have the sort of reaction that even that one sentence gives as a clue.
I think if schoolwork is just boring or too hard you'd be unlikely to get such a vehement sentence. To me that seems like a red flag of something going on that is emotionally or socially painful.
It would help a lot, I think, to find out what. If bullying, then she should IMO be taken out of the school (and they should be spoken to about it). If she cannot make a friend, then she needs some social instructional help and supports for how to do that. If she's reacting over strongly to something that is perhaps negative, but not bullying, then she needs help learning how to cope. etc.
Does she have siblings or other kids you know at same school who might be more articulate and have a clue about what is going on?
Are there any other school options, or is it that school or homeschool and that is it?
I’ve talked with her in the past about whether or not anyone is being mean to her and she says no. Today, I was driving her to school late, and asking more specific questions. Is your teacher mean? Is the lunch lady man? Is the school secretary mean?... she laughed at some of these. Then.. are any of the boys in your class mean to you? No. They just don’t interact with her. Are any of the girls in your class mean to you?... she refused to answer. Then when we got to the school she told me all about this one girl who is so mean to her, except when the teacher is around—then this girl is super nice and dd hates people like that more than anything (I have to agree). Then she begged and begged me not to make her go. Sigh...
So I have something to work with, knowing the name of one girl who goes out of her way to be nasty.
For school options, I have no desire to drive her to a different public school, and private is not an option. She has friends here and it’s a good school. She just hates going right now.
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Fascinating. Thanks!I am linking about shutdowns.
https://autismawarenesscentre.com/shutdowns-stress-autism/
This is pretty broad but the main thing is the stress response, the release of stress chemicals. It’s not good. It takes time for the stress chemicals to leave the body.
And then the thing is kids get flooded with these stress chemicals and one or two things happens.
1. Outward behavior. You are seeing outward behavior at home.
2. Inward behavior. She could be having inward behavior at school. She might, she might not. It’s possible though, and it is Not Good.
I went to a speaker who talked about this. (Brenda Smith Myles who talks a lot about the stress cycle.).
She said that it is better for kids to have outward behavior. They get help. They get the help and support they need. People try to help them solve their problems and provide supports and accommodations.
Because it’s really obvious!!!!!
She said the kids who are sitting there and flying under the radar don’t do as well in adulthood because they have missed out on help.
Her point — don’t let kids who aren’t acting out miss out on getting help, they still need help.
Anyway ——— that is all for autism.
Even if it’s not autism, this kind of principle is the same.
This is the same kind of stuff that happens with anxiety (I think) but the reasons behind things are different.
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It sounds like your dd generally is social and likes being with other kids...which makes it seem like she'd want to continue with school and be eager to get there.
But she doesn't and isn't.
I wonder what's up with that?
I wish I knew!! She really can’t verbalize any problems other than, “I hate school and I never want to go again!!â€
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Does the teacher see signs of the mixed type ADHD and anxiety, but not the behavior issues you see at home?
Did the teacher fill out rating scales too?
I’m just curious/hypothetical.
She filled out rating scales too, but she really doesn’t see anything. This is her second year teaching. Every other teacher at that school I’ve talked to says she’s a solid teacher, but I just see this young girl fresh out of college. Also, dd8 is 2e, so the giftedness probably masks symptoms at school.
Dd has said that she hates sitting in her chair all day. She says she has a hard time paying attention and fidget toys help. She really wants a yoga ballot sit on, but the teacher doesn’t see a need for that (“she doesn’t have a problem staying in her seat.â€). I was so tempted to tell dd she needs to start popping out of her chair every time she feels like moving. Last year, dd’s teacher was a veteran teacher and she allowed kids to bring yoga balls in for chairs. I think the combination of flexible seating and a somewhat rigid teacher helped her be calmer.
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OP, if you want to discuss ideas people may have for trying to improve mornings at your home, ask. I have discussed our issues with friends from the LC board and with a therapist in real life, and we've managed to improve mornings a little bit at our house. I also have ideas that others have suggested that we have not implemented as of yet, that I can try as time goes on.
Our therapist encouraged us to really think about the variables that we as parents can affect and control and work on changing those things in ways that make a positive difference, even if the difference is small. For example, DS would fight over what to eat for breakfast, so we discussed whether he could choose it the night before. Or whether we could make a breakfast meal plan that he would know it advance. And so on. We would discuss and try options to figure out what would work better.
We also talked about WHO interacts with DS in the mornings and how and if we could change that, by changing up the routines and finding what works best. Did he do better with one parent over the other? Did he do better if he ate breakfast alone while the other kids were not yet in the kitchen? The therapist tried to help us see that there were options we had not yet considered and also talked to us about HOW we interacted and what we could do differently as parents.
Really, in the end, we decided that this psych was not the perfect fit for our family's needs, but while we worked with him, he helped us think through things we had not considered before, and that was very helpful. I find that the advice on the LC board can be like that, as well, offering ideas that we hadn't considered.
One of the things that has helped the MOST is that we changed the time we gave the ADHD meds in the morning. This has been a pretty easy thing, overall, though it took us a long time to consider doing it.
We used to give them at breakfast, so that DS could eat first, because his meds suppress his appetite. He will often not each lunch, so we really prioritized eating, for good reasons.
But after encouragement to try switching the med administration, we now give it to him right when he wakes up, while he is still in his room. By the time he comes downstairs, the meds have started to take effect, and it makes a HUGE HUGE HUGE difference. He is often still spunky and argumentative to some extent, but it is much less, and he is not mean. The meanness was really the worst part, before. And he can still eat breakfast, though maybe not as much.
Since your child is taking meds, you might see if you can adjust when you give them. You can also talk to the doctor about whether a different med could be more effective. And you can also ask the doctor if it is possible to have an extra, shorter acting dose to give after school, so that the meds can be in effect for some of the time at home, if they wear off by the end of the school day.
Discussing what to do in the mornings sounds like a great idea. We have today and tomorrow off school for snow, so now would be a perfect time to talk with her without any pressure.
Also, the timing of her medication isn't an issue right now. It's a non-stimulant with continuous coverage. Right now she takes in at night, because that's when it's easiest for me to remember. I tried morning, but there's already too much to stay on top of with her, and it has to be taken with food, so if she's eating a bagel as she walks out the door, I forget to give her the medication.
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For everyone that is suggesting I look into ASD, what about sociability or fixations? She's my only extravert, and she's happiest when she's got friends around (one more reason she's always been in school). I don't see asd, because she's so peer-oriented and because I don't see her talking non-stop about one topic of interest. But there are some other things that definitely fit--like being really rigid when things change.
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This is advice I got, too. I would kind-of waver in the mornings about if he had to go, while he would cry and say his stomach hurt.
So this is why I got advice — either he’s committed to going or not. If he’s committed to going, then me wavering is taken off the table. My wavering was not doing anything to help him.
That was in 2nd grade for him.
For my other son, change can be hard, transitions can be hard, and there are a lot of possible transition supports and they do help. He has developed his ability to transition a lot and does much better now. For him — it was worst in K and getting better the second semester of K.
Yes. Her stomach hurts all the time. I'm sure it really hurts. I'm also sure that 90% of the time it's psychosomatic. That's such simple, but good advice. I think she does better for dh because there's never any question in his mind about whether or not she's going.
In talking to the therapist, we've noticed that transitions are always hard. If it's not exactly the way she planned or wants or what I said it would be, the rage monster comes out.
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Why not do a trial in the summer? By then the meds should be working and during that time you can continue to seek evals and support and see how it goes. You won't lose anything by trying and you can still put her back in the fall if it's not working out.
In the summer, all the older kids will be home. I already know what that looks like...
She's very social, and there are a lot of little girls her age in the neighborhood, so summertime they are outside playing as much as possible.
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Thanks everyone for the input. I'm feeling overwhelmed today, so I won't take the time to respond individually, but two things: 1) She's big for her age (about the same size as my 12yo), I think she's moving into puberty early, and that may be a part of why her behavior has deteriorated. She's always been a tough kid to parent, but the last 4-5 months have been much worse. 2)It would be ideal if DH could get her ready for school. She's not as comfortable acting out around him. But he needs to go into work at 6am through May. So he won't be able to help this school year. She rides the bus if she gets ready on time, but getting out the door by 7:30 is tough when she's tired and I'm having to drag this child through her morning routine.
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She is currently in therapy, and she started seeing a psychiatrist and taking Strattera (ADHD and anxiety) a couple months ago. The medication has been slowly ramping up to the therapeutic dose and I'm not seeing a difference in behavior yet. So, I don't know what constitutes an eval. The psych had me fill out an unbelievably long form detailing all sorts of behavior. She said the screening came back that she was showing signs of ADHD, ODD, and anxiety, with some OCD. I don't know where to start with the other things PeterPan mentioned or who else I should be seeking help from.
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Also, all the kids are in ps at this point. So it would just be the two of us if I brought her home. I tried to homeschool her two years ago, but she resented all the time I spent working with older kids.
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My youngest was recently diagnosed with mixed type ADHD. She is also incredibly defiant with me. Only with me. To a lesser extent with other family members and occasionally she refuses to cooperate with her therapist.
She's in school right now. Her teacher can't believe that dd8 has any problems at all. She doesn't see any hyperactivity, dd is perfectly cooperative and obedient at school. There are mornings when dd screams at me that she won't go to school she hates school, etc. I have literally dragged her through the doors, and as soon as a leave she dries her tears and goes to class without any trouble. Evenings are also full of screaming and defiance toward me. Apparently I'm the source of all her problems. Whatever. My feelings aren't hurt by her tantrums, but it's exhausting to fight and it's upsetting for the older kids.
I'm wondering what has been others' experience in homeschool vs public school for a child like this. I'd love to get rid of the morning wrestling matches. She wants to be homeschooled. I'm not totally convinced that she will cooperate any better with me just because she didn't have to go to school, but on days I've let her stay home she is usually a little more cooperative. DH thinks I'm crazy. Let her spend all day with the one person she can't bring herself to obey? I have the sense that if I can just reduce the number of conflicts, we can somehow break the cycle of rage. I'm totally willing to try homeschooling for the rest of the year, just to see if it helps her calm down overall. DH feels like it will just teach her that I'll give in if she gets angry enough.
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We have two options. 6am and 7:40 (high school here starts at 9:15).
Dd chooses to go to 6am because she’s in school and has a couple of clubs before school.
We have a 5 min drive to the church.
She gets up at 5:50. (All the kids in the 6am class wear pjs and blankets to seminary).
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Craft kits? Oak Meadow 5?
in K-8 Curriculum Board
Posted
This looks amazing! I’ve done things like Kiwi Crates with limited success, but I’ll look at this some more.