I have an allowance, my husband does the budgeting, and he asked for an itemized list of the schools stuff I was going to order. *gasp*
Does it bother me? On occasion, when we disagree over purchases. Over the years, we've both learned to be more understanding. My husband does struggle with being controlling over our money and I also struggle with not caring enough about savings. That's why we have to communicate. A lot.
I think whether or not it's a red flag has more to do with their intentions and whether they are controlling in other areas as well.