Valley Girl
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Posts posted by Valley Girl
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30 minutes ago, marbel said:
I didn't work this election, though I have in the past and hope to again. But I saw the same thing while voting. It was my daughter's first election, and all the workers in the room cheered when they heard it. (Here, you have to show your ID the first time you vote.) Everyone was very kind and enthusiastic, though I am quite sure some had the sense that her choices would not match theirs. It was a great experience for her; she had been nervous that there would be unpleasantness, simply because of all the vitriol around this election.
That was my new voter's experience as well. We all voted in person together. The election worker announced "We have a first-time voter!" The workers cheered and many others waiting in line--both R and D--clapped. Nobody cared about how he was casting his ballot. They welcomed him into the process.
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11 hours ago, Clemsondana said:
Besides wanting to escape, I've found that often when shows decide to tackle issues they do it in a very heavy-handed way...and all of the shows do it at the same time. Last year we tried out 2 new shows, and it turns out that both of them had decided to have a particular issue be a major part of their storyline. It kind of felt like they had come up with one 'issue' storyline and then applied it to multiple shows. For me, it's sometimes not the specific issue as much as the feeling that I'm watching the same story over and over.
Edited to add - We got used to not watching regular shows over the summer, so if everybody jumps to the same story line when they start back, it will not be difficult for us to return to our books, documentaries, and nature shows.
Yeah, the theme of the week. Reminds me of afterschool specials and the "Very Special Episodes" series had on big issues.
I won't be watching shows that focus on covid. It's real enough already. And, personally, I'm just so over be preached at by Hollywood on ANY topic anymore.
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Who knew there was an upside to not having a circle of friends to begin with?
ETA: Not feel sorry for myself. Just trying to inject a little humor amidst all the very real heartache you guys are posting about.
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That was a really scummy thing for someone to do. I'm sorry that happened. Nothing like making a person feel like she has to look over her shoulder! I think Catwoman had the right word--weasel.
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1 minute ago, Elizabeth86 said:
Many thanks! This is very helpful. I appreciate it.
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Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but is this a non-issue right now or not? Has something changed with regard to the continuing resolution? Because I did not see anything about that.
I get that it sucks if it's happening. But my impression is that there is not going to be a shutdown, so I'm not sure why the concern at this particular moment. I certainly understand there are larger issues with having to use CRs.
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I had the same impression, Lanny, based on what I heard on the radio news yesterday. I took a quick look at a couple of news sites before posting my request for a link thinking I had missed something. But I'm not seeing where that CR fell through. I could have missed it, though, hence my question.
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Do you have a source for this? I haven't seen it.
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18 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:
No one is saying that the OP shouldn't have asked the boy to stop. Or that his filming kids wasn't inappropriate. But automatically jumping to a sex trafficking scenario is going zero to 60, in my opinion. Also - you can tell someone to stop filming and to leave your property without violating their privacy in return.
We'll have to agree to disagree that she somehow violated his privacy. I find it funny that the people who are minding their own business and not doing anything to anyone else are the ones supposed to be concerned about the privacy of the person doing the inappropriate activity. One reason to ask who he is, if it turns out to be a neighbor kid, is so you mention to the parents, "Just wanted to let you know why I sent Johnny home when he stopped by the other day." Because honestly, I'd want to to know if my kid were doing something like that so I could correct the behavior. But I get that others see it differently.
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47 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:
Do people not expect kids to talk to other kids and play with them? I keep seeing people say "he was on her property" but I'm picturing him on the sidwalk, seeing two kids, talking and interacting with them, and in the course of talking with them moving closer to be on the grass with them. Which is what I certainly did as a kid, and no one considered it weird or an invasion of their property or anything. I mean, if there were no kids in the yard and he just randomy walked up toward th house, weirder. But he was interacting with other kids.
I don't know...I just am sad I guess that people's first thought is trafficking and bullying.
I also wonder if on some forum his mom is posting about if she should be worried about the stranger who was asking her kid a bunch of personal questions - wanting to know his birth date, address, etc. And people there all concerned about the potential predator wanting this kids information to come track him down.
They'd be wrong, and likely all the speculation about this kid is wrong too.
I think the OP said he came in 20 feet. That's not just stepping off the sidewalk to talk. Now he probably didn't mean any harm. But that doesn't meant the OP was wrong. SHE didn't approach a random kid on a public street and pepper him with questions. She approached and questioned someone who was doing something many people consider inappropriate in HER yard with HER kids. I really could not care less that many or even most kids film everything. The kid was wrong to do what he did without permission. In my opinion, of course.
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Some of the replies on this thread are... interesting. If someone has come 20 FEET onto my property (as the OP said he did) and starting filming my young kids without permission, the LAST thing I'm going to worry about are that person's comfort and feelings. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to be harsh or aggressive with a kid. But I'll ask whatever questions I want. My first obligation is to protect MY kids. If the other kid's parents haven't discussed the responsibilities/proprieties of having a phone with the young videographer, he will get a firm explanation from me and sent on his way.
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I'm so sorry about your friend, Quill. That is hard.
My two cents is to send the card and mention any specific offer(s) of help you may want to give, rather than the vague "let us know if we can do anything." When I was handling contacts for a seriously ill family member, the last thing I needed was another phone call, no matter how well meant. I just did not have it in me to explain things one.more.time or offer comfort to someone else one.more.time when my own heart was breaking.
Again, I am sorry. I know people want to reach out in personn. Sometimes, though, it's just overwhelming to those who are most involved.
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2 hours ago, square_25 said:
Who in the world on this board said you have bad motives? Lots of posters on this very thread have engaged with you and other people on the opposite side. As a reward, I've been told that I'm supporting entertainment designed for pedophiles. You tell me who's being ascribed the worst motives...
I am making a general observation based on many years as a lurker and poster. While I said "even here," my post, however, was not geared exclusively to this forum. As I said, it's a general observation.
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52 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:
Yeah....I keep seeing people/articles saying "but it's a well done film with a great message" as if that means I can't have ethical concerns about the minor actors.
And now, the new thing I'm seeing is that if you don't like the movie it is because not only are you a QAnon follower, but you are racist and anti-muslim. Sigh
That's pretty much the state of things today. As someone who leans center right on many (certainly not all) issues, I rarely engage with anyone on much of anything anymore. It's simply not worth it the bother when you all too often--even here--are automatically ascribed the very worst motives for every opinion you have no matter how reasoned. It's a shame, too, because I've changed my mind on some issues as a result of listening to people on the "other side." But now I rarely bother. It's a shame.
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6 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:
I think here there’s some kind of similar thing but the tenants have to prove they have lost income due to COVID. It should be accompanied by pause on interest and council rates etc for landlords to make sense, or at least to landlords who can prove they’ve lost income to the pandemic. And it should be a case of deferred interest that keeps accumulating. As far as lost income that does suck but I guess it’s no different to the many other people who have lost their jobs etc. So many people have lost income due to the pandemic, pilots, surgeons who do elective surgery only, flight attendants, travel businesses.
I think the difference is that, unlike landlords in these cases, pilots aren't still being required to fly planes without compensation, etc. There's been more than enough economic hurt to go around. It stinks.
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I'd have lost it, too. How frightening!
You know...when you get that screen fixed, I bet the Hive would HAPPY to help you craft a polite-on-the-surface-but-suitably-snarky email notifying the HOA that you've taken care of that oh-so-urgent issue. The HOA woman is an idiot.
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4 hours ago, Quill said:
Is that Federal in the US?
I thought in Maryland, our governor-issued moratorium was still in effect. We are LLs and property managers and, thankfully, we don’t have anyone paying no rent. We did reduce it for a few months while under SAH orders.
TBH, I am not completely in favor of an eviction moratorium. I have mixed feelings on it, because, while I don’t think people should be at risk of losing housing because of pandemic orders, at the same time, I don’t see how it is rightful for LLs to be required to provide a good/service for free.
I still had to pay tens of thousands of dollars in property taxes...no moratorium there...
Early in the pandemic there didn't seem to be much real empathy on this board for people facing major, life-altering economic losses as a result of the pandemic closures. (It's just money after all.) I'm not sure you'll get much compassion on this topic now. Obviously nobody wants people out on the street, and that's what some people are truly facing without. But, yeah, being expected to cough up the payments when your income has been slashed as well doesn't seem right either. I'll bet most landlords aren't independently wealthy. I don't know what the answer is or how this gets dealt with equitably. Or even if it can be.
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If there's one thing that characterizes the year 2020, it's hypocrisy. And it's coming from every quarter. The group(s) may shift depending on the issue, but there's plenty to go around.
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This is my last comment on the subject, and I'll shut up. I'm honestly shocked at the number of posters who seem to think this whole thing is somehow acceptable because it's art... it has a message... it isn't as bad as (insert some other grievious act against children)... the parents were there... there's some group or agenda behind the criticism (other than speaking out against exploitation). I sincerely doubt many of these same posters would give an action or statement a pass because "it's just a little bit racist" or whatever "ist" or "ism" you want to apply.
The film maker may have had good intentions, but the road to hell is paved with those. Sometimes things are just wrong. That we cannot even agree on that shows, to me, just how far we've fallen in this world turned upside down.
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47 minutes ago, Lady Marmalade said:
Sadly, I think the timing for this is very poor.
While all these people are going on social media talking about how they've just cancelled netflix, they're also going on about how the dance industry is an exploitive mess for children and parents should take better care than expose their kids to such garbage.
Today. While the dance and arts industry has been literally shut down since March. Businesses are folding left and right and no one knows how the arts community is going to survive. I have one child in college who wants nothing more than to teach dance and I wonder if there will be dance studios for her to teach at in two years! I have a son in high school who wants to dance professionally- will those opportunities still be there for him?! He already has a difficult road being a male dancer for so many reasons.
I really appreciate those who have watched the movie and shared what it's about- I just wish they'd figured out a different vehicle to present the subject matter than the world of dance. The industry is on a precipice right now and I fear that the outrage may tip things in the wrong direction.
We will not be cancelling Netflix. I won't be watching the movie, it's not the type of thing I would watch in the first place. But I am going to spend some time not on social media for a few days so I can stop seeing so many people bragging about how they're cancelling Netflix and that they think parents who let their kids participate in competition dance are scum. Nice.
I hope things work out for your DD. Really. Talented teachers are needed. Lots of businesses are struggling right now though and may not be around when the dust settles. If the outrage causes parents to demand a change in how things are done or if it forces dance studios or the people who run the competitions in question to have to rethink how they do things when they eventually reopen, that's a win. I keep going back to the other protests. Businesses are being affected by that, too. Does that mean the timing is poor there are well? (I'm not expecting you to say "yes" to that. Just pointing out that ALL of these things affect individuals.)
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5 minutes ago, maize said:
Right.
And movements for change have to start somewhere.
Do we say of the protests sparked by George Floyd's death "but people didn't come out in thousands to protest x and y and z police killing" so protesting now is not valid?
Are there some people behaving hypocritically? Sure. There always are. And frankly almost all humans live lives with aspects of hypocrisy. I deplore conditions on poultry farms but I'm not up in arms demanding folks boycott egg companies--nor am I even boycotting them myself. I deplore the realities of working conditions in the factories that make many products I buy yet I still by the products.
I give my own hens a free-range life, I enroll my children in activities that do not sexually objectify them, I try to treat people around me with kindness and respect. I put time and resources towards some causes at times when I think my efforts will most likely have an impact.
But I let a lot of things go. I can't protest everything that is wrong all the time not can I fight for everything I perceive as right.
I replied before seeing your post. May I just say I agree?
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7 minutes ago, Terabith said:
Honestly, it seems like a shade of gray to me. It feels exploitative to me, and I wouldn't allow my kids to participate in it, but I'm just confused about why this movie is getting all the attention? I'm not saying it's okay; I'm just genuinely confused.
I don't think it should matter why. What matters is that...finally!...maybe a line has been crossed that is waking large numbers of people up to a serious social problem. We've recently had massive protests in the streets because a line was finally crossed that worked up enough people to demand change. God willing, the crossing of THIS line will ignite much-needed change and social reflection, too.
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15 minutes ago, Terabith said:
I agree that the children who acted in the film were exploited and asked to do things that *I* find inappropriate. What I am arguing is that they were not MORE exploited than kids doing other things we have decided as a society that we are okay with. Kids who are in dance recitals and things like Toddlers in Tiaras and stuff like that. I can totally see being opposed to this movie on that basis. It just seems hypocritical to do so while also putting your 7 or 8 year old in competition dance with performances like other people have posted.
And yeah....I've taught at schools with very high percentage of at-risk kids, so maybe a different set of 11 year olds than other people have. I mean, I haven't seen any watching porn under a veil, but the kinds of dances they came up with in the film?
So because they were not more exploited, that makes it OK? Isn't "whataboutism" something people on this board often condemn?
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Exploiting and sexualizing children so that you can make a statement about the exploitation and sexualization of children doesn't strike me as particularly altruistic or award-worthy.
As far as the dance classes, inappropriate costumes and dances may have become the norm. But, if so, it's because people/parents have gone along with it for what I'm sure are a variety of reasons. If enough people started saying "enough" and refused to pay for costumes, routines, and competitions they believed promoted the wrong things for their children, wouldn't the market (which still wants to make money) respond and offer alternatives?
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What can we, as individual US citizens do to improve the division (non-political)
in The Chat Board
Posted
I'm quite sure I'll regret weighing in, but here goes. This website is the one I found when I was trying to find information on the movement. So I'm sure many people saw it. At the time, it included text that said the movement wanted to "disrupt" the nuclear family. The larger context, if I recall correctly, seemed to be that it wanted to expand what is thought of as family. However, I found the choice of the word disrupt--rather than enhance, expand, grow--quite jarring as the connotation was extremely negative to me. It felt...threatening... and was something that really stood out to me. (The reference has since been removed from the website.) That line was also later used by politicians as a "see..." example. My point is, when people see statements about a movement's goals put out by the movement, or those who purport (rightly or wrongly) to be behind it, they're going to assume there are structure and organization and tenets to the movement.
So I think that's why people talk about the organization. And why they may support the concept of black lives deeply mattering, want better policing, etc., but say they don't support BLM (capital letters=organization).