Thank you for all of the advice! We went to the Renaissance Festival in our state today, and we were gone all day, so I'm coming home to read these posts. I do agree that nearly everybody involved with this pack is nice, but that there seems to be a real vacuum of leadership and that that might be causing the issues. If this is the case, then it seems as if this might be easily resolved later down the road, and if we had not gone on this camping trip, then everything might have been fine. We had never met this person before, and we may never meet him again. He didn't come to any of the pack meetings thus far, nor to any of the other outings. I just feel very uncomfortable at this point, and would feel uncomfortable at the spring camp out, and every pack-wide event going forward, even if we never encounter a similar situation again. I know that we are hoping to make friends, maybe both child and adult, through scouting, and that we're hoping to learn the interesting, practical skills my husband learned while he was a scout. I researched online and found two other packs within a five-mile radius, and we're going to see if we can visit.

Without making excuses for my son, I feel like I should clarify the hitting part of the story. He didn't hit their child with his hand, but with a glow stick as part of a light saber battle that had been happening since the night before (minus, of course, when everybody slept). It was accidental in the sense that he didn't mean to hurt the other child, but it was not accidental in the sense that he was pretending to parry/thrust/what have you, and he shouldn't have been roughhousing like this. I don't want to take the focus off the fact that he was wrong and needed to be disciplined, but it wasn't a fist fight that broke out unexpectedly or something. The day before, I had tried to get all the boys to calm down and was told that I was too strict and that boys will be boys. I don't want to teach my kid that it's okay to talk back to an adult if you don't like how the adult tells you something, but I did think that it was an overreaction on this man's part. I do think that the advice to just go with my instinct here and investigate other packs is sound, and when I saw that so many other people agreed with this and I wasn't being overprotective and silly, I felt pretty relieved.

It made me feel so much better just to post this. I took my boys out to run errands this afternoon, and am returning home and reading these posts. While I was out, I realized how the long listing of every detail is petty and unnecessary, and that whether or not I agree with how the discipline was handled, it was handled, as it needed to be, right or wrong. The important thing is that we're going to be looking for a new pack. I will definitely let the cub scout master know about the drinking and the knife, because the rest could be chalked up to personality differences perhaps. The specific information about how easy it is to transfer puts my mind at ease. Like a lot of us, we're doing this for social reasons, and if this aspect worries me, then it's not doing us a lot of good. The advice you guys have given me has helped me separate what seems important for the scout master to know, and talking this out, here and with my husband, lets me know that I'm not overreacting on at least part of this.

Thank you, everyone, for the responses. Re-reading my post, I can tell how hysterical I sound, and I can tell I'm not doing a great job separating emotions from facts. I absolutely agree with the three year old being wrong to go into the tent, and with my six year old being wrong to hit the other child. Both of these issues needed to be stopped and dealt with, so I appreciate the perspective here. He had every reason to correct both of them. My instinct is to look for another pack, so I'm glad to see that many people would do the same. My husband just came home for lunch and he said he was going to tell the cub scout master about the drinking, and about how we weren't comfortable with that, and that this is why we want to change packs. This feels somehow dishonest to me, but like the best course at the same time. My husband asked me if we would have reported the drinking had none of the rest of it happened, and yes, probably we would have, although we tend to be a pretty live and let live family. It just seems irresponsible not to report it when we're talking about six to ten year olds. But yes, I do feel a stronger need to let somebody know that something isn't right because of the rest of the business. Again, thank you guys so much. I have learned so much from this board, and I respect your opinions.

Hi, everyone. I've been lurking for a couple of years, but rarely post. Something happened this weekend on a Cub Scout camping trip that has left me so disturbed I'm having trouble sleeping, but when I sit down and think about it, I think I'm overreacting. I would appreciate any input from fellow Cub Scout parents, especially if you were ever in or had knowledge of den/pack leadership. Our fall campout was this weekend, and my six year old is a brand new Tiger Cub. Pack leadership changed this year, and the new Cubmaster is kind, good with kids, and seems to really enjoy the position. He is, however, rarely around. His wife has been ill (like hospitalized ill) and so he's missed the last few service projects (let's be honest: so has nearly every other family), and was not at this weekend's campout. Several weeks ago, I told him we would be able to do only Friday or Saturday and not both, as we have family in town this weekend. He told me that most of the action happens Saturday night. We show up Saturday morning, weed for a few hours in the park as part of our service project, and then sit around waiting. The kids start playing, a bit roughly, I thought, but all in good fun, but with very little supervision. I watched my two (I had our three year old son there, as well), and after a few warnings to respect each other and to respect each other's property, let them run around with the other boys. As far as leadership, we had one of the Tiger leaders (who left within an hour of our arrival), the Wolf den leader (who left that evening), and the pack treasurer. I'm familiar with each of these people, and trust them to be a good role model, and to be fair and objective with the kids. At the end of the service project, the Bear den leader joined us, along with her son and her husband. Instead of helping with the service project, they set up their campsite, something we waited to do in order to participate in the project. My husband and I kind of exchanged looks, but said nothing. Just a difference in priorities, but no biggie. After the weeding is completed, we go back and start setting up our tent. The kids (every child there) ran around and checked out each other's tent. I hear the Bear den leader's husband yell at my 3 year old: "STOP! STOP! STOP!" in a tone of voice that made every adult look up. My young son runs to me, startled. I find out that he ran into the man's tent a couple of times, something that is absolutely not acceptable, and we have a talk. He sits with us for a bit, before I let him go play, and he gives the man's tent a wide berth the rest of the time. There are a couple of younger siblings playing with the bigger kids, and I get that younger kids can be really annoying if you have an older scout. The campout should mainly be used for scouts, not for little hangers-on. I am bothered by the harsh tone of the man's voice, but feel like I'm overreacting, as my son was clearly in the wrong. When we are introduced later, I apologized for the incident, and he tells me with a smile: "Oh, I took care of that real quick." I'm trying to be objective here, and stick to facts, but I have to say that I was bothered by the smile and by the vehemence of the delivery. Anyway, everybody leaves but two families, and this man's family. His wife, the Bear den leader, has been left in charge. as she is the only one who is BALOO/OWL trained. We have done zero activities at this point, other than weeding. She tells me that they used to do activities, but they don't anymore. It starts to get dark and the kids are playing, again really roughly, but my kids are tough so I say nothing. The same man is slurring his words and barely standing up. He starts telling me how every year he's in a confrontation, and in every case, he seems right (like one year when one family left a fire in the grill and went on a walk). He also takes his kid off the path with a machete, and hacks down a couple of saplings. My husband, who did scouts for years, said that used to not be allowed. Then this man gives his Bear cub a pocketknife, makes sure he knows how to open and close it, and tells him to go play with the other scouts. This scout has some anger issues, and is a bully to the younger kids, so when I see him wave that pocketknife near my Tiger Cub, I call my kid back and tell him to stay away from the kid with the knife. Meanwhile, this man is talking to me, wasted, and there is no mistaking the alcohol on his breath. Now, I am not a teetotaller by any means, and respect a person's right to drink or not drink, but we were told no alcohol on the trip, and the ostensible leader's husband is getting so drunk he can barely stand up. He drank in private, disappearing every once in a while, and drinking out of a styrofoam cup from the gas station. He tells me the same story several times, about how he's not a yuppie like his sister is, and then I excuse myself and we all go to bed. My husband and I talk that night about the alcohol, and about how the bullying, the harsh tone with my three year old, the machete, the pocketknife, and the drinking all add up to be something we don't want to be part of. We decide we will never participate in an activity where this man's wife is the only leader again, but disagree about whether or not to report anything. We are new, don't want to make waves, and are unsure whether any of this is honestly that big of a deal. The next morning, we are packing up and my kids and this man's child are playing, kind of rough. My Tiger Cub, who is entirely in the wrong, hits this kid harder than he meant to, and as he is apologizing, this man comes over to my son and dresses him down: "No! You don't get to do that to my kid! Get over here and face me!" My son has hit this kid, and he knows he is wrong, but has not been addressed like this in his life. Again, it's not really the words, but the delivery; it was meant to intimidate and humiliate. This man was, frankly, a bully. I get up, tell the man I'll address the issue,and my kid, stunned, humiliated, and knowing he had done something wrong, screams and throws a glow stick on the ground. The man leans over my son and shouts: "Pick that up now! Pick it up or you're not going to like it." My husband picks up my son, who's now hysterical. I'm telling my son that no matter what happened, he needs to acknowledge that he was in the wrong by hitting this kid, even if he was playing. My husband, a pretty reasonable man, wants to go tell this man that his reaction was entirely inappropriate, and that if he has an issue with my son again, he should go through the den leader, the cub leader, or through one of us. I beg my husband not to confront him, as I just want to leave. I am not sure if there would be an even bigger confrontation if my husband says this. Again, my kid was wrong and needed some correction, and I don't want to teach him that disobedience is okay if we don't like how the adult handles the situation. I am so shaken that my husband agrees. We say goodbye, the man shakes my husband's hand, and everybody knows how upset we are, but nobody's actually said anything. We leave and we talk all day about what we should have done. I know for a fact that I will never allow this man near my children without our protection again. We've talked about changing packs, as the other two families seemed undisturbed by any of this, and maybe we're not a match with the culture of this particular troop. I've searched online for similar complaints, but found nothing, and in fact, found out that it's pretty common for the dads to have a few beers after the kids go to bed. Not a big deal to me, as long as everybody acts like adults and looks out for the best interests of the kids. Please help me understand if I'm overreacting, if I'm not, if I should change packs, or report anything. Can I transfer our registration and activity fees to another pack, even? What would you do in my situation? I feel like people will think, "Oh, they homeschool; they must be overprotective." But, truly, I try to be objective. I think I have two pretty good kids, but they're no angels, and they do need instruction, correction, etc. They're kids. I realize this is a long story, and I'm grateful for any advice, wise words, etc.

I'm also a lurker, but when we moved to Austin, we first stayed with my parents for a couple of months, and they live between Austin and San Marcos. I loved San Marcos. There's a great library with a lot of fun activities, and we found a Yahoo group called San Marcos Relaxed Homeschoolers (you can find them through Google). They meet at a park in San Marcos, and although most of the kids seemed to be elementary / middle school age, I got the impression that there was a lot going on, and that high school kids were involved as well. As far as community colleges, I'm not sure there's a campus in San Marcos. Austin CC (ACC) is opening one soon in Kyle, which is close, and there's one in south Austin that might not be much of a commute. I might start by asking San Marcos HS what their dual enrollment students do, and whether there would be an option to take classes at Texas State. I'm not sure there are any areas where I wouldn't live, but I do think that some of the newish neighborhoods east of I 35 lack a bit of charm, mostly because they were built in prairie / cow fields that didn't have any trees to begin with. I found Buda, Kyle, and western San Marcos to be relaxed, happy places, and the only real drawback I could see was that it was a long drive to go anywhere, even to the grocery store. Oh, and the heat.