[Northwestern University (Evanston) on lockdown]

It was a swatting hoax. Sure caused a lot of anxiety for many on campus. 😡

 

https://dailynorthwestern.com/2018/03/14/lateststories/reports-of-man-with-gun-thought-to-be-hoax-swatting-incident/

[Northwestern University (Evanston) on lockdown]

Supposedly, a person with a gun at Engelhart Hall, a graduate residence hall, at Emerson and Maple Streets. They are asking people to stay in place or seek shelter. No one appears to have been shot, though, but shots were fired. No sign of gunman yet.

[positive thoughts please]

What a nightmare. I wish I knew someone in Australia who could help you. ((( )))

[Why do homeschool parents who publish books do this?]

So how’s the puppeteer thing working out for you? :D

I’m afraid I destroyed her dream. ðŸ˜

[Why do homeschool parents who publish books do this?]

I find their conclusion completely ironic given that they would NOT allow any of their kids to pursue anything other than a STEM degree. (And it seems that at least one of the kids, mentioned in a quote above, had a verbal aptitude which was stronger than mathematical aptitude, based on GRE scores.)

I was kind of hoping one of the kids would be a rebel and insist on being the artist, actor, wood carver, Instagram star, etc. Maybe we will have to wait a few years to see if they all stay STEM.

 

My mother was not opposed to STEM but leaned more toward studying art and music. I can still remember vividly my mother saying to me, “ You know what? I think you should be...a puppeteer.†LOL.

[Retrieving grace and beauty]

Besides what’s already been suggested, some things that have helped me:

 

Crying can be very healthy when grieving because it helps to release stress chemicals.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201007/the-health-benefits-tears

 

Spending time with pets. They just seem to know when something is going on emotionally.

 

Lying on the floor with my feet on the couch listening to meditation music with headphones on.

 

Baths, being near water like creeks, ocean, lakes or ponds.

 

((((( )))))

[Thoughts and prayers, please]

It is good you and family could be with her. A small consolation, though.

 

I keep thinking of you, your sister’s children and husband, your parents and how your lives have changed so quickly. All of you will definitely be kept in my thoughts and prayers. ((((( )))))

[Thoughts and prayers, please]

My heart aches for all of your family, Lisa. I cannot imagine how devastating this must be.

 

You will all be in my prayers. ((((( )))))

[found a lump - crappy update on p 14]

Well, I was wondering about you! I’m glad you’re rebounding. I will be sending telepathically healing energy your way. None of this bad reaction stuff.

[Appropriate gift for my friend's mother (my friend died)]

Oh gosh. How sad for you and especially her poor mother.

 

I’m in the Chicago area and you’ve received some good advice and suggestions already. There is a service called Hour Maids that we used to use for cleaning. If you go with a service, maybe you could explain the situation. The team of cleaners I had were young and very sweet, mostly Polish. If you need any other suggestions for Chicago places, just ask.

 

I think the letter idea would be really lovely.

[Sad]

Oh no. I am so sorry for you and your family.

 

Rest and take good care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve. (((((hugs)))))

[Age of adulthood - 25?]

The youth of today. Blah blah blah. The youth I know are pretty good kids who work hard and are sweet natured. I like them.

 

Back in my high school days, I knew of no one who took on the academic loads many have nowadays. Just getting into college is ridiculous. It is very stressful for so many youngsters. Then, there is the high cost of colleges which limits many students’ freedom to explore. Add to that the effect of technology which lures many adults away (look at your own usage) so why do we expect adolescents to do better? There are many factors that affect adolescents and it’s not all their fault.

[s/o: Which credit cards offer the best rewards?]

United MileagePlus offers something like 50,000 bonus miles and then something for using the card. We’ve accumulated a lot of miles by signing up for bonus miles + miles for purchases. Then, we cancel the card and reapply to get bonus miles, etc. I have about 350k miles to use. We use the miles to fly to Hawaii and sometimes Montana.

 

Amazon’s credit card offers 5% for Amazon and Whole Foods purchases.

 

Citi’s Double Cash Back might be worth checking out.

[found a lump - crappy update on p 14]

Oh no! I hope you are sleeping and that tomorrow is much better. Sending you healing thoughts. ((((( )))))

[Blood clots - questions?]

Yikes. Good thing you went in. Follow your doctor’s advice and learn as much as much as possible if you haven’t researched already. Now would be a good time to concentrate on your health. The painting can wait.

[Local schools received threats of violence]

MBM- thanks for the book recommendation. Can you elaborate on the kinds of things your school has done?

It is rare to expel a student. I’ve never heard of it being done although I don’t know for sure. Doing so can actually lead to violence. The school (public) is massively compassionate toward students and what they’re experiencing and seeks to get the best help for anyone who needs it. They are very good at listening and attempting to understand.

 

Throughout the school you’ll see signs that are designed to influence students’ behavior — drug use, etc. Some activities also help to foster this as well. This is straight out of Cialdini’s book.

 

One thing the school encourages is for kids to be in cliques based on shared interests and experiences (no cutting others down) but the school also arranges a daily home room, mostly chit chat, that places about 20 diverse students with one teacher who all stay together sophomore through senior years. (There is a separate freshman campus where those same students meet with a freshman teacher.) Friday mornings are donut/bagel days and these groups also do volunteer activities to bond. That teacher also gets to know the students’ families.

 

The school also has an ongoing lecture series to discuss a wide range of issues and topics. It’s called The Family Action Network. Students, parents, school personnel, therapists and anyone interested may attend for free. Some of the lecturers even permit videotaping and those can be found at the website.

 

https://www.familyactionnetwork.net/

 

All of my kids are adults now but if I could do it over, all three of them would have gone there.

[Local schools received threats of violence]

Would it be helpful to not show the face of the perp or say his name? Would Americans tolerate that or would they demand to know every detail?

I’m not sure I agree with you that we copy what others have done. The people copying school shooters are not average,everyday people. They are troubled and mean.

If you want to learn more about this, Robert Cialdini’s book Influence: The Power of Persuasion goes into more detail. Yes, it would probably help to not discuss the perp much but with the internet, that could be hard to do.

 

The fact is, people mimic what others do. We do it because it conserves energy from having to think. Cialdini’s book explains this as well. It is alarming how much we are influenced in our daily lives.

 

On the other hand, we can be influenced to behave better, too. My youngest’s high school is 3,000 plus students, open, has little security and has put in place psychological tactics and resources to prevent violence. I think this is a better direction to go.

[Local schools received threats of violence]

This week three schools in a nearby district have received threats of violence. Then today I read that since February 15 there have been 369 threats/incidents in schools in this country. I haven’t verified that number or looked to see how much higher than normal that is. My question is this: after something like Parkland, why does there appear to be an uptick in threats? I know it’s unusual for three schools nearby to all have threats so is it a coincidence or do these events spur more people to make threats?

There is an uptick because humans largely do what others do. We look around, observe and then copy what others have done. We don’t do as much critical thinking as we think we do.

[Are succulents hard to take care of (indoors)?]

Green leaves tend to be easier to grow. Dark leaves harder.

[Lazy Gardening]

Did you apply a tick layer of mulch on top? I used to place about 4†of luscious leaf mulch on mine. Worked well but I had to top it off 3 months later. Bonus: millions of baby worms to help aerate the soil.

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

I miss the 'corner store'. That is all.

I miss our old Piggly Wiggly just because the name always gave me a chuckle. Whole Foods? Where’s the fun in that?

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

I put the free Moments app on my phone and tablet to help me see how much time I’ve been spending on them. Kind of embarrassing but I’m trying to improve.

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

It's kind of weird, that's for sure.

Maybe it’s a fear of changing a habit. I just don’t know but it was very strange.

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

This gets me about so many issues.

 

"This won't work to change everything right now because of x, y, or z."

 

The article I linked a few posts back about a town that made it's suburbs some of the most walkable in the country did it over a period of something like 20 years. They decided what their goal was, and made a variety of policy decisions to support that. They made physical changes over time, they changed regulations that worked against the behaviours they wanted, they created fun events and educational programs to promote walking, etc. And over 20 years they had a huge change in the way of life of the community.

 

How to feed kids in schools is like that, how to change the culture of mistrust, or the culture of hyper-awareness of risk, how to build exercise into people's lives. Almost anything that you want to shape about community behaviours.

 

"We can't do that in the US" seems to be mostly about we don't want to change our culture of instant gratification which we are indulging ourselves in right now, give us a magic diet to make us skinny not a set of policy changes that take 20 years to come to mature ."

I came across this attitude numerous times here in the US.

 

At the very small Catholic school one of my kids attended, we parents met to discuss options for school lunches the school wanted to offer. I suggested we try doing what the local public school was doing, and offer vegetables and fruit as well as the entree. Judging their irate reactions, you would have thought I was suggesting we give them meth. It was shocking how irate they became merely by suggesting we offer a bowl of carrots or sliced apples.

 

Another situation: I used to walk my son 1.5 miles to and from school. I thought maybe we could create some walking groups where kids from an area walk together with an adult lagging behind to oversee the little ones if necessary. Again, the reactions! One mother said it was borderline abuse to make a child walk more than a mile.

 

I also suggested starting a forest explorers group where we could take interested kids into the nearby park-like forest preserves to hike, explore nature and just have fun. The kids would explore the small bit of nature in the schoolyard every day so many of them might have enjoyed a bigger forest. Alas, no deal. Just another of my crazy zaniness.

 

We tried suggesting and implementing so many new ideas but for whatever reasons, they were immediately shot down. Just strange.

 

So, yes, I’ve come across these sorts of fixed mindsets often.

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

Okay, I see.

 

Yes, I imagine what you say can be true but I don’t think people are necessarily harmed by modifying behavior if, for example, they walk a different route or at a different time, maybe walking in the morning. I walk different routes just to see different areas. Then choosing to walk early might make them feel safer and reduce their stress and maybe they’d be sleeping more—also good. Infrastructure, like sidewalks, are legally required in some areas. But I can also see see how putting in infrastructure that doesn’t get used much is a waste.