I’m in the minority, but for baby carriers and wraps you wear—nice idea, but I couldn’t use them for multiple reasons, including rather extreme pain in my hips. We tried several. I also had the kind of babies that always wanted to know what was going on, and carriers kind of made that harder for the most part. Front carriers were especially hard because I couldn’t get close enough to anything to actually reach stuff—it was like being perpetually pregnant. Just a heads-up that there are some baby wearing flunkies.

I don’t know of one made for the car, but they have small ones that overlap nicely in a car seat.

Was she shown line by line without dilation as well, or did they show multiple lines at a time? Not being able to isolate a line would be an issue if it’s own. covd.org is where to find developmental optometrists who check ocular motor issues and stuff beyond the normal eye health exam. Doing a lot of up close work can cause eye strain that makes it harder to see across a room, but it should be temporary. Kids can potentially compensate with vision issues for a long time before they are obvious.

On the practical side…waterproof pad, one of the bigger ones. If a kid is sick or tends to be leaky, having multiple sheets on the bed with a waterproof pad between is great for middle of the night sheet changes. Also awesome when someone is sick. Small ones for the car seat are nice too. Nothing like trying to drive hours home from Grandma’s with a kid who has the runs! Or even a trip to the pediatrician with a sick one. Lingerie bag for the tiny socks in the wash And yes on the sick supplies! It doesn’t hurt to have duplicates for some of the important stuff.

I have a theory that some people with ASD are sensory seekers when they eat vs. sensory avoiders (or a combo). My kids weren’t particularly picky, and one is fairly adventurous, but probably not wriggling adventurous. They did have some quirks though—neither of them liked potatoes in any form when they were little, and my kid that is underweight didn’t like fat except maybe ice cream. He asked the other day why we don’t butter veggies—he doesn’t even remember he’s why not, lol (though we would likely butter selectively, not all the time). Now he thinks it sounds delicious.

That makes a lot of sense! Also, when my friend was researching, there was an added layer of people being willing to enable her husband’s trip up DeNial river about their young adult’s profile of abilities and needs. (She’s doing well now.)

I agree. I really do. I’m just so done with all the college for all people telling me that there is a unicorn experience and fit out there for everyone when even the people who know him are judging this poorly, like his teachers at school! Just believe what I say and be real about the cost. (And frankly, I’m stunned at the number of people who can afford these extra options!) You would not believe the disconnect too in talking about the medical needs and how that goes along with all of this—they are not being honest, helpful, or hopeful about how the dealbreaker things relate to one another. They will talk about medical or EF or whatever, but not all together. In the seminar at my son’s school, the guidance counselor and the consultant both totally stopped in their tracks when I said that my son has to choose a school where we can get to him in a half a day or less for a medical emergency. Like, I was stupid for saying so in their view or that it was so extreme as to be ridiculous. We’re not allowed to have the needs we have as a family, and they would rather spend their time making someone happy who wants a completely boutique experience of the other kind—the niche stuff that’s the cherry on top of the sundae. That’s more fun! So, I am new to the information about push in services and non-college provided support programs. I attended a free webinar out on by three different organizations that handled all of these things differently—some were pushier, some were residential (but still not part of college, I think), and some were more flexible options. IIRC, the idea is to have it feel more like a peer helping but actually be a professional who is letting parents be parents and taking over the nagging role. It sounds really good, but I don’t know how we’ll afford the base cost of college much less the rest. I have some not minor reservations too though about what happens in a job after college when that is not there.

I’m glad to hear this! I wonder if these programs have improved marketing in the last few years. When my friend looked into one, it was not like this. I think the only thing my son will end up being a good fit for will be programs external to the school that are paid for separately and then only if they are quite flexible and tend to push in. He doesn’t know when he’s missed the meaning of something significant until it’s too late. Space in on campus programs is limited, and apparently they want certain profiles of kids, and he never fits anyone’s profile for anything.

He deserves every minute of that. What a dumb rule.

If a book is both well known and available in the baby section of non-book stores, it’s a title they will get a million of, lol! My kids first learned to like books that had very concrete information (textured animals and such), and then they started liking repetition, such as The Little Red Hen. From there, they liked all kinds of things. Books that tell what people are thinking/feeling are always good! Books with flaps that open are fun. Richard Scarry books are great for a little bit older kids. Mine started quit early liking encyclopedic sorts of books on their level that they could browse in any order—they would point to pictures to get explanations and even reuse the books for different purposes later like identifying colors of objects or certain sounds or multiple words for the same thing.

This part is about building a good college list. All of it is headed towards applying. The place my son is doing DE is “known” for their accommodations and supports. It’s been a goat rodeo. Not reassuring. As far as I can tell, they are interested in demonstrating how NT you need to be to access college. I don’t even have the slightest idea how to not just be wasting vast amounts of time on this process. Time I need to spend with my kid because he’s not going to magically stop having language issues. This webinar seems to suggest that most of what my son needs assistance with is considered by accessibility services as adulting, not an accessibility service, and therefore non-existent. We don’t have money to gamble because we’ve done right by our kids with therapies and because of insane medical costs year after year. My son adults in ways his peers will never have to, but those things don’t count because the language misunderstandings wipe it all out. And then his school chimes in with how awesome he is, he just needs to check his syllabus. Then it’s back to the student being held to standards the professor isn’t, like, you know, posting one before any work is due! I had “special” profs in college too, but at least they almost always stuck to their syllabus and actually gave us one the first day.

She was pretty much painting a bleak picture for any of the add-on programs for the colleges. She indicated that they are very focused. But then said that their existence = “There is a right college for everyone.” I think I finally spit out what the real problem is with her statement and timing with this information. Lots of talking out both sides of her mouth.

There are three more sessions. I feel like they will be similarly designed to make me feel like 💩 for being realistic. And lots of “pay not attention to that person over there” maneuvers to keep the webinar moving.

It’s a fraction of the price that college consulting is, and college consulting is widely seen as paying for itself. On a free webinar about hiring external college supports (of all kinds), one of the pros said that he can often appeal aid packages that give back enough money to parents to pay for the external support. But of course, I am likely to have to do exactly what they want regardless of my concerns, and/or there is likely no money back guarantee. The college consultant that works with my son’s school has 2e kids, and her oldest has 2e autism. He isn’t in college. I really wish I could speak to her mom to mom, not mom to consultant. She estimates 60% of her business is from neurodivergent students, many of them undiagnosed. Maybe I should tell her that she needs to stage up front that if a student has EF issues at all, she doesn’t consider them college ready without external services. Save everyone time. And I find that while EF supports are not formally offered, much of what is offered helps shore up EF—note takers, etc. Not so much for language issues. It just felt cheerleading and condescending simultaneously while the presenter was opportunistically happy to find more ways to spend my money even if it’s with someone else.

This. This is driving me nuts. It’s from everyone, everywhere. This is good to know—the ones I know about have been more like paying for a college experience just to have a college experience from what a friend said when she looked into it. I don’t even really oppose the idea of an experience for the sake of it, but I really hated the insinuation that the existence of programs like that mean that I or another mom are selling their kids short! (And where are the dads in these webinars or at the school planning for college meetings?!?) I felt like she was simultaneously trying to be realistic but wash her hands of actual suggestions. It was just, “narrow your search.” I tried to ask if complex medical plus other stuff was going to make is strike out entirely, but I typed a contextual question into the box (so it immediately lost its meaning when she wasn’t reading it), and then I started having major tech problems. I understand not holding up a webinar for everyone, but I’ve been in FREE webinars with the same number of people (sometimes more), and they watch and wait for the person to rejoin and then make an effort to get the question answered. Yes. And he falls into the too functional for some things and uninterested in lots of things (rarer personality type) category or the medical issues become a problem too. As with most NLVD-ish kids, he has very high verbal strengths (relative to math) with serious language issues, and an article I have about 2e shows that this profile has the most difficult time at college. It didn’t address employment, but there are mainstream press articles on employment that college promoters apparently don’t read!

The idea that people with legit disabilities need to be held to a higher standard than NT people also grates on me. There is so much terrible communication at school that I don’t get to grade the teachers on in return.

It’s not content. It’s being too black and white and throwing out the baby with the bath water with communication. This is not an issue where people seem to gain insight via the school of hard knocks. He is getting some language intervention, but there is a total lack of imagination about how to implement it IRL situations even at school!!!

On a relevant side note: we need to do more language testing in our educational system!!! It’s not all dyslexia, social skills, and articulation, and it definitely isn’t fixed with executive functioning strategies. NVLD or SCD are probably both a better fit, but neither one brings the kind of support needed (one of his docs calls SCD “ASD without repetitive behaviors” and thinks the lack of support is a travesty), and one is a diagnosis that no longer exists. Even NVLD is a stretch as any potential lower score on non-verbal is almost certainly due to hypermobility and incomplete visual development, except for the language part. This kid is excellent at geometry and has always liberally used strategies that would be seen as appropriate for visual-spatial learners. Sigh. Quote kind of indirectly if you quote. I might delete some parts later.

I’m sorry. That stinks. We’re awaiting a diagnosis that still won’t fix things and doesn’t entirely fit. The sum of all the mild issues plus mild pragmatic language problems is too much. You can walk with a broken toe, but not so much with a broken toe, vertigo, icy cobblestones underfoot, high heeled shoes, a stack of fragile and heavy objects in both arms, and a monkey bouncing on your head. That is analogous to what is expected at this point. There aren’t even really behavioral issues or off putting personality things—it’s just well-placed factors that don’t play well together in a modern world and a total emphasis on being a finished product at age 18 (and no one tell me that college at 18 is set in stone—merit aid often evaporates with a gap year or delayed college). Of course, he wouldn’t likely live past forty without that modern world either. I could do with going back to adulthood at age 21 for a start. There is a reason that worked for centuries.

He can wear head to toe PPE like what people administering Covid tests did early in the pandemic. He might have to bring wash water/wipes/sanitizer with him on job sites. I assume that the bird droppings/dead birds are largely fomite contamination if left undisturbed, but I don’t know for sure. He might need to work really hard at decontamination for his stuff and his vehicle. I’m sorry! That’s hard!

…you’re in a paid webinar about helping neurodivergent students navigate the college process, and the presenter wants you to ask an audible question even after you type into the chat box that you’re ill, and it hurts to talk/cough. I literally used the word “accommodation” and advocated for myself. The topic tonight: college accommodations! Deleted for privacy

Grew up rural. Live in suburbia with major medical centers in the nearby cities (one of the best children’s hospital in the nation is a half hour away if there isn’t a lot of traffic). Our state had a lot of the originators of the conspiracy theories, and I am in a deeply red county. We had a local “expert” spinning off Covid conspiracies and political conspiracies simultaneously. Multi-talented, I tell you. Nurses embracing and spreading conspiracies. It was nuts. Self-inflicted stupidity, and of course, higher death rates than other regions along party lines.

https://www.politico.com/live-updates/2024/04/02/congress/hill-briefed-on-avian-flu-health-agencies-00150212?fbclid=IwAR1I0xaFsrIqZpyouNveNw8fIQ99epLm_P6248uUcKV-UuwRNqd64UAZADc_aem_AfA_sWQAyChvyR4tFR7naKL263XBUxL0ecmctueyYA9RuIBCTbmh1tbuaBk8LO0ZDzM How about a round of, “I found it first” where we spot problematic and probably currently true statements that will bite us in the butt later?!? This article is full of them. I’ll go first: “Demetre Daskalakis, director of the CDC’s National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, said on the call that while the health risk to the public is low, people with long exposure to infected birds or livestock may be at greater risk of infection.” I predict the word long used here is going to bite us later.

I have so many thoughts on this. DH is a HCW. Around here, much of the abuse was self-inflicted or came from other coworkers—HCWs were not always masking in the hospital (taking masks off when not around patients) and definitely not masking in their personal lives. Many changed jobs to avoid getting vaccinated. It was super difficult for DH to watch people be very sick and die when he knew that people we know were spreading the kinds of lies that we’re making people so sick in the first place. I know there were other kinds of burnout too, but I don’t feel at all sorry for HCWs who bring it upon themselves. I expect it to be terrible, but if I hear non-masking or anti-vax HCWs whine and spread conspiracies… We better have PPE and support though. I am fine complaining about those kinds of things! I think they will loosen restrictions in hospitals next time around to retain workers, and we’ll have insane spread in healthcare settings and nursing homes. They might do better in children’s hospitals (ours are better with protocols than the adult hospitals). That’s my two cents.